a different female ejaculation question

[shecomesfirst98]

was it pee or female ejaculation?

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for being a lurker for so long, but an interesting experience has finally made me come out! My fiance and I have been experimenting for a long time. She and I are both very sexual. I am male and she is female. She has never orgasmed through vaginal intercourse. She only has them when i perform oral on her or with a vibrator, . . etc. She can however have multiple of those back to back. When I go down on her, after her first orgasm, I break for a few seconds then start and she instantly has another one, and then I break for a few seconds and then again. The only reason we stop there is because she will get dry if we keep going, otherwise she'd probably be able to come again and again.
We have been trying to get her to have an orgasm through intercourse. We have read lots of material on it. And I mean lots. Including here on Lit. She gets the that pee feeling in a variety of positions (the best for her are on her back knees to her chest with me on top, and her on top where we make a right angle) but she has difficulty releasing it. She usually feels like she is on the verge of being able to release it and have an orgasm but she can't. It isn't a matter of the penetration not lasting long enough either because I can go until she gets dry if I try hard enough.
Here's the interesting part, a few weeks ago we tried with her on top. She realized that during the in-out action she couldn't release, but when we stopped moving she felt like she could release. But she was very scared it would be pee. I put a towel under us and told her I wouldn't care if she peed at all, and for her to just try and see. (We read that it would feel like that for her but that it WOULDN'T really be pee). So we stopped thrusting, she tried releasing with me still inside her, and a lot of warm liquid came out onto me. It did feel like a release for her, but it didn't feel incredible. We thought is was pee, but it didn't smell bad. She then got up and went to the bathroom to pee and very little came out. She had emptied her bladder earlier as well. To this day we aren't sure if it was pee or female ejaculation.

Any thoughts or ideas? What do you think it was.

I know a lot of it is mental for on part. She is very comfortable with her sexuality, and we are very comfortable together with each other (over 2 years and very trusting and close). However maybe it comes with age? I hope not, she is 23. Any tips on positioning, or something I can do to hit a different spot?

Due to our long distance we haven't been able to try again. I'm flying there next week and will definitley try again!

PS, when I go down on her it makes it better for her when I slip a finger in and do the "come here" motion to trigger her Gspot or pee feeling. She gets that pee feeling and cums very hard, much harder than without the finger. However I have been unable to get her to cum with the finger inside without clitoral stimulation.

 

[TBKahuna123]

OK I'm gonna answer backwards here. First off what you are describing is g-spot stimulation. The reason it feels better and she cums harder with a finger is because the g-spot requires more direct stimulation and a stronger pressure. Very rare are the women who have full blow g-spot orgasms from penetration with a penis along. It's all a matter of directed stimulation.

As for whether it's urine or ejaculate, it's fairly easy to tell. Texture is the big one. While ejacualate is a lot thinner than normal vaginal secretions, it is a little thicker than urine and will feel slick.

As for not being able to release, many women can not cum from penetration alone. Try rubbing her clit while you are inside of her and see if that will put her over the top.

 

[Norajane]

TBK is correct on all counts. Lots of women don't ever come from PIV, and you are stimulating her g-spot. The position you describe, with her on her back, legs to her chest, is exactly when my SO hits the spot during PIV. I never come that way unless there's clit stimulation, but it feels really good.

The only thing I would add is you can also try using a vibrator on her clit (or she can) during penetration, and see if that helps her come in the same way that stimulating her clit while your fingers are inside her makes her come.

As for female ejaculation, I've only done it twice, and both times were using a vibrator. It honestly didn't feel all that wonderful or anything, so I'm not likely to bother trying to do it again - it's too much effort for a feeling that wasn't especially great.

It felt different from peeing, meaning when I pee, it feels like it comes out in a stream (which it does). The ejaculation felt like it all came out at once in a rush, kinda like the way water would rush out over the top of a paper cup if you squeezed the sides.

Don't get too hung up on if it was urine or not. If she had an orgasm when the liquid came out and she liked the feeling, does it really matter what the chemical composition of the liquid is?

 

[shecomesfirst98]

thanks

Thanks TBK and Norajane!

Nice tips. I will check for the texture next time, and ask her if it felt like gushing or a stream. But Norajane, you are right, I don't really care what comes out so long as it feels good for her.

We have used a vibe on her clit while we do it and strangely we have the
same problem. Usually she feels like the feeling is building (but this time not a pee feeling) for her to come, but she won't be able to unless I pause for a while, stop moving, and let the feeling build more and let her come. It will then be a purely clitoral orgasm. I imagine the same thing will happen when I use my finger on her clit, but we haven't been able to get that far like that. The vibe worked well, and she came with me inside her, but what she wants is to cum while I am pumping her. And she also wants the pee feeling to peak while I am pumping her, in hopes it will be a G-spot orgasm and not a clitoral orgasm (as we have read so much about)

Have either of you or anybody else experienced this? Is this common? The idea of adding a vibe during penetration is very common on Lit and elsewhere, but when we do it, it only seems to work in the way I described above which kinda feels like we stop sex in the middle of it and then she masterbates, and then we continue. This didn't really do it for us, and we usually end up preferring the traditional oral on her till she comes followed by penetration.

Norajane, question for you: when you said the same position hits the spot for you when you are on your back with knees up do you also get that pee feeling? When you say you don't come that way, does it feel like it is building and building and almost there but just won't release like my fiance?

Question for all:
When people say that most women don't come from penetration alone, does that mean that during intercourse it never feels like an orgasm is building or going to happen? Or is it like my fiance where it does increasingly build and it feels like she will orgasm, but just can't get over the top? If she is one of the lucky ones that can or may be ableto come from penetration, I certainly don't want to leave that untapped!

 

[Norajane]

We have used a vibe on her clit while we do it and strangely we have the same problem. Usually she feels like the feeling is building (but this time not a pee feeling) for her to come, but she won't be able to unless I pause for a while, stop moving, and let the feeling build more and let her come. It will then be a purely clitoral orgasm. I imagine the same thing will happen when I use my finger on her clit, but we haven't been able to get that far like that. The vibe worked well, and she came with me inside her, but what she wants is to cum while I am pumping her. And she also wants the pee feeling to peak while I am pumping her, in hopes it will be a G-spot orgasm and not a clitoral orgasm (as we have read so much about)

Have either of you or anybody else experienced this? Is this common? The idea of adding a vibe during penetration is very common on Lit and elsewhere, but when we do it, it only seems to work in the way I described above which kinda feels like we stop sex in the middle of it and then she masterbates, and then we continue. This didn't really do it for us, and we usually end up preferring the traditional oral on her till she comes followed by penetration.

It takes a lot longer for me to come from clit stimulation during PIV sex than from clit stimulation without PIV sex. The thrusting action can be very distracting in that it adds a lot of sensations in a larger area, which can make it harder to focus on the sensations on my clit, and focus is important. It's like being at a concert and trying to focus only on the drum beat while tuning out the guitar and bass - it can be done, but it takes practice. I'm 38, so I've had lots of practice.

Norajane, question for you: when you said the same position hits the spot for you when you are on your back with knees up do you also get that pee feeling? When you say you don't come that way, does it feel like it is building and building and almost there but just won't release like my fiance?

Yes, I get the pee feeling. It's the combination of g-spot stim and him pressing against my bladder with each thrust. Sometimes it feels like it's building, sometimes it doesn't. I've never ad a g-spot orgasm during PIV sex, nor have I had one without using a vibrator (HItachi Magic Wand with the g-spot attachment - that's the only vibe I've tried that's worked for g-spot). And because of that vibe's shape, it was also stimulating my vulva and clit at the same time as the g-spot stimulation. Ultimately, g-spot orgasms take far too much effort for too little return, for me, so I don't bother working so hard to have them on a regular basis. My clit orgasms feel way better.

Question for all:
When people say that most women don't come from penetration alone, does that mean that during intercourse it never feels like an orgasm is building or going to happen? Or is it like my fiance where it does increasingly build and it feels like she will orgasm, but just can't get over the top?

Both, at different times.

 

[shecomesfirst98]

Hmmm. I see. That sounds counter-productive to me. If you are trying to focus only on the clit stim from the vibe and the penetrarion is just distracting you (which I think is the same thing for my SO) then is adding a vibe something you do often and enjoy?
I feel somewhat disconnected from her when we do it like that. I feel like even if she were to acheive orgasm that way, is there a better way?

Seems like she likes it better when I give her oral with G-spot stim to orgasm and then afterwards penetrate without the end goal of her orgasming from it. What we dislike about it is that it feels like we are taking turns orgasming (although I'm not complaining about the oral and she isn't complaining about the penetration, far from it). For me, taking turns is at least better than feeling disconnected or knowing what I am doing is distracting her from getting an orgasm. Any thoughts?

 

[Norajane]

Hmmm. I see. That sounds counter-productive to me. If you are trying to focus only on the clit stim from the vibe and the penetrarion is just distracting you (which I think is the same thing for my SO) then is adding a vibe something you do often and enjoy?

I feel somewhat disconnected from her when we do it like that. I feel like even if she were to acheive orgasm that way, is there a better way?

Seems like she likes it better when I give her oral with G-spot stim to orgasm and then afterwards penetrate without the end goal of her orgasming from it. What we dislike about it is that it feels like we are taking turns orgasming (although I'm not complaining about the oral and she isn't complaining about the penetration, far from it). For me, taking turns is at least better than feeling disconnected or knowing what I am doing is distracting her from getting an orgasm. Any thoughts?

PIV sex is wonderful for many reasons - goal-oriented sex is awful for many reasons. We add the vibe if the mood strikes us, but usually I don't care if I orgasm during PIV or not. My SO makes me come in other ways before he comes, so vibes during PIV are an an option for play, not an every-time thing. Sometimes I want to come with him inside me, sometimes he wants to feel me come around him, and I do enjoy it, but it's really not necessary.

Obsessing about specific orgasm types feels like work - we go along with the mood; it's all about play. We pick and choose from the buffet and enjoy our selections.

There is no such thing as a better way to come. Whatever way she comes and likes to come is the best way for her.

 

[shecomesfirst98]

Yeah, we've only added the vibe at times when one of us suggested it for whatever reason as well. I think she is much like you in that usually she doesn't care if she orgasms during PIV. We just assumed, from what we read, that since she was getting the pee feeling during PIV that she was close to having an orgasm that way, but now I see the pee feeling is common and doesn't mean that all.
We are quite happy with how we do things, but we are always looking for new and adventerous things to try. Usually, for her PIV is not goal oriented either, and for me it is "reverse goal oriented" in that I hold it back to keep it going! However, she does want to be able to have an orgasm during PIV and I don't mind working to that goal at all!

 

[shecomesfirst98]

Hey Norajane (or anybody for that matter),
Ever try one of those butterfly strap-on clit vibes during sex?
I wonder if that might work a little better, granted some of the same difficulties will still be there. When we use the regular vibe on her during sex she usually likes to be the one holding it so she can put it on the right spot, and needless to say the number of position we can do it in is significantly reduced. Even in the best position, it is usually quite akward in terms of positioning for us. I wonder if the hands free aspect of the butterfly will allow her to place it in the right spot and just lie back without having to concentrate on holding and making sure I don't bump it off the spot while thrusting.
I may just surprise her with one. I'd like to get one with a wireless remote so it can double as fun little toy when we are out. I can only find one that is built for use during PIV and is wireless, the "wireless remote control butterfly" but it only has one speed. She usually likes to start with low speed and increase later.