Why do you choose to be a sub?

[Boat1]

I call it "Freedom Through Captivity" which sounds like an oxymoron, but isn't to me.
I'm extremely "liberty oriented" and have traveled much of the globe.
Most of my life I've worked dangerous jobs and have pushed the envelope in most ways... the type of person who lacks a "moderation gene."

NOTHING has ever made me feel more freedom, than willingly and knowingly giving myself COMPLETELY to my Wonderful Wife/Domme. The love, care, respect, adoration, openness, honesty, and desire to please each other, that we both have and share is palpable. We were recently approached by a total stranger, while shopping, who recognized the depth of our love and our bond (I doubt she recognized the Domme/sub or BDSM aspects) but she recognized everything else.

I feel more freedom, with Her, being Her sub, than I do or have, anywhere else on earth.

 

[drobert44]

For me it’s because of an experience I had when I was younger with an older man.
I’m straight acting but always deep inside I feel the need to go back to that role he forced me to play.

I was fucking sissies, and soon found a nice hunk, and loved being his bottom fucktoy.

 

[magic_rat]

I choose to be sub with certain people, dom with others. I'm mostly dom with women (except one currently, she doms me in the dungeon, I dom her in bed) and I'm always sub to men.

For some people it's their natural state of being. For others it's a role you play when it suits you or your partner(s).

 

[magic_rat]

I call it "Freedom Through Captivity" which sounds like an oxymoron, but isn't to me.

Makes absolutely perfect sense to me.

 

[Vitriolhack]

By nature I'm a switch that leans sub. However, especially since I started having people report to me at work that I mentor, I want to be the one taking orders in bed.

Not uncommon and kind of hot!

 

[Roughscrewu]

It just feels natural. I love to please, probably like attention (slightly unhealthy, I'm sure), and like giving control to someone else. It turns me on so much. Whatever physical act I'm participating in, if I feel like I'm the sub, it makes it 5 to 10 times more pleasurable.

Mmmmmmmm

 

[Vitriolhack]

I call it "Freedom Through Captivity" which sounds like an oxymoron, but isn't to me.
I'm extremely "liberty oriented" and have traveled much of the globe.
Most of my life I've worked dangerous jobs and have pushed the envelope in most ways... the type of person who lacks a "moderation gene."

NOTHING has ever made me feel more freedom, than willingly and knowingly giving myself COMPLETELY to my Wonderful Wife/Domme. The love, care, respect, adoration, openness, honesty, and desire to please each other, that we both have and share is palpable. We were recently approached by a total stranger, while shopping, who recognized the depth of our love and our bond (I doubt she recognized the Domme/sub or BDSM aspects) but she recognized everything else.

I feel more freedom, with Her, being Her sub, than I do or have, anywhere else on earth.

Wow, that is clear, concise and succinct argument and an ode to sub mentality.

There is a certain acceptance and beauty in knowing exactly what you are and what you like.

I think, and I don’t want to put words in @Boat1 mouth, that subs, contrary to he belief, are not powerless. Instead, they choose who their dom or even FLR (Female led relationship) and choosing the right long term partner, in my humble opinion, is potentially one of the most important decision one will ever make.

hugs everyone.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I call it "Freedom Through Captivity" which sounds like an oxymoron, but isn't to me.
I'm extremely "liberty oriented" and have traveled much of the globe.
Most of my life I've worked dangerous jobs and have pushed the envelope in most ways... the type of person who lacks a "moderation gene."

NOTHING has ever made me feel more freedom, than willingly and knowingly giving myself COMPLETELY to my Wonderful Wife/Domme. The love, care, respect, adoration, openness, honesty, and desire to please each other, that we both have and share is palpable. We were recently approached by a total stranger, while shopping, who recognized the depth of our love and our bond (I doubt she recognized the Domme/sub or BDSM aspects) but she recognized everything else.

I feel more freedom, with Her, being Her sub, than I do or have, anywhere else on earth.

So love the way you talk about her and the two of you. Sounds like the pinnacle of a d/s bond

 

[Boat1]

Wow, that is clear, concise and succinct argument and an ode to sub mentality.

There is a certain acceptance and beauty in knowing exactly what you are and what you like.

I think, and I don’t want to put words in @Boat1 mouth, that subs, contrary to he belief, are not powerless. Instead, they choose who their dom or even FLR (Female led relationship) and choosing the right long term partner, in my humble opinion, is potentially one of the most important decision one will ever make.

hugs everyone.

@Vitriolhack Thank you so much for your kind words!
I try to articulate myself in my posts, sometimes I succeed, other times I don't, but it seems your perception is 100% "spot on" as to what I was hoping/trying to convey.... and YES, giving myself to this Lovely Lady IS the wisest decision I've ever made!
Thanks again!

 

[Boat1]

So love the way you talk about her and the two of you. Sounds like the pinnacle of a d/s bond

I love and thank you @MiaBabe23 as you're a beautiful soul!
I've never been happier in my life... and ALL I crave, is Her happiness and success... She IS the sole reason that I'm still here on earth.

 

[AprilTwenties]

I'd never have thought that I would be submissive, boo. Never even knew the word existed until my life took the turn that it has.

For me it's about admiring someone and wishing you were just like them...and letting them mould you into something. It's not without growing pains, boo, but it's very fulfilling for me.

A x

 

[Yarglenurp]

I'd never have thought that I would be submissive, boo. Never even knew the word existed until my life took the turn that it has.

For me it's about admiring someone and wishing you were just like them...and letting them mould you into something. It's not without growing pains, boo, but it's very fulfilling for me.

A x

Are they molding you into being like them, or just into being useful for them?

 

[subdudeme13]

It isn't a choice. It is the way we are wired.

 

[AprilTwenties]

Are they molding you into being like them, or just into being useful for them?

Both boo, I'm their cash cow. I don't really care. I do what she says, to be like her, I make coin for her...that's all that really matters to me, these days.

A x

 

[bella_bunny]

I don't think I ever made a conscious choice it's just who I am I literally find it difficult to interact sexually when it's more balanced and can't imagine how I would even go about taking control. It feels so like part of me too and I have zero control over it it's very reactive like if someone has that opposite energy I realize it very quickly.

 

[bears_13_3]

I like the idea of being controlled. Not knowing what I’m going to be doing next. But knowing the punishment if I don’t obey.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm a sub by nature.. I find that older men (60+) who are pleasure Doms have been my favorite..
I like giving more than receiving.. But the right Dom for me will just understand my need to serve him first.

I love being submissive... It makes me feel amazing..

 

[Eshu]

I don't think I ever made a conscious choice it's just who I am I literally find it difficult to interact sexually when it's more balanced and can't imagine how I would even go about taking control. It feels so like part of me too and I have zero control over it it's very reactive like if someone has that opposite energy I realize it very quickly.

According to my experience, the vast majority of women assume that the man leads the sexual meeting... which does not necessarily imply a BDSM dynamic. Nor does it mean that the woman has no power, since she is the one who chooses you. Besides it is possible that a naturally dominant attitude creates a bias and my personal experience is conditioned by that.

But in general the submissive role is not a conscious choice, and there is nothing more toxic than trying to force a woman into it. There is a primal acknowledgment when a naturally dominant person meets a submissive one. It is a very reare and special alchemy that cannot be forced.

 

[Yarglenurp]

According to my experience, the vast majority of women assume that the man leads the sexual meeting... which does not necessarily imply a BDSM dynamic. Nor does it mean that the woman has no power, since she is the one who chooses you. Besides it is possible that a naturally dominant attitude creates a bias and my personal experience is conditioned by that.

But in general the submissive role is not a conscious choice, and there is nothing more toxic than trying to force a woman into it. There is a primal acknowledgment when a naturally dominant person meets a submissive one. It is a very reare and special alchemy that cannot be forced.

eloquently put, but I prefer the simpler version of, “most people just want someone to tell what to do and how to feel good.”

 

[Eshu]

eloquently put, but I prefer the simpler version of, “most people just want someone to tell what to do and how to feel good.”

I wish "most people" do. It would make my sex life much more easier.

 

[Yarglenurp]

I wish "most people" do. It would make my sex life much more easier.

lol, you disagree? I think it’s just a matter of how you frame it. Also, this is assuming you’re with someone who is already agreeing to be with you.

 

[Eshu]

lol, you disagree? I think it’s just a matter of how you frame it. Also, this is assuming you’re with someone who is already agreeing to be with you.

If you mean that humans are a hierarchical species and we need leaders, strong-willed people to follow, I obviously agree. If you mean that men and women are shaped by evolutionary biology and sexual dimorphism to assume certain roles in sex, I agree too. But not all women enjoy being submissive, as it's understood in BDSM, and that's something that must be respected.

All the best,

 

[Yarglenurp]

If you mean that humans are a hierarchical species and we need leaders, strong-willed people to follow, I obviously agree. If you mean that men and women are shaped by evolutionary biology and sexual dimorphism to assume certain roles in sex, I agree too. But not all women enjoy being submissive, as it's understood in BDSM, and that's something that must be respected.

All the best,

Oh, lol. No one is saying that. But there are far too few dominant women in the world. I’d prefer if there were more.

Like, it kind of sounds like you’re a dom who wishes that more women were sub, and I think that this is a better position than to be sub dude who wishes more women were dom.

 

[Eshu]

Oh, lol. No one is saying that. But there are far too few dominant women in the world. I’d prefer if there were more.

Like, it kind of sounds like you’re a dom who wishes that more women were sub, and I think that this is a better position than to be sub dude who wishes more women were dom.

A study concluded that on Fetlife only 13% of female profiles are dominant.

I think you are assuming that a person is always sexually dominant or sexually submissive, and what I'm saying is most people are neither one nor the other. However, I believe that even the most progressive women expect the man to take the initiative both in seduction and in bed (or wherever they fuck).

 

[Yarglenurp]

A study concluded that on Fetlife only 13% of female profiles are dominant.

I think you are assuming that a person is always sexually dominant or sexually submissive, and what I'm saying is most people are neither one nor the other. However, I believe that even the most progressive women expect the man to take the initiative both in seduction and in bed (or wherever they fuck).

No, that’s not my assumption, though I think what you say is true. I do think that most women would prefer to be submissive most of the time, based on personal experience. Asking a non-dominant to be dominant in bed is like asking a monkey to run a marathon…. Even if they technically could, they still wouldn’t like it.

But at this point, we’re just talking with each other. Feel free to send me a DM if you want to continue clarifying your point.