Deplorable hero Tucker Carlson says he was attacked by a demon, and it left him bleeding. 🤣

[RoryN]

So weird.

https://www.mediaite.com/news/tucke...after-demon-attack-that-left-claw-mark-scars/

 

[MasterAnimus]

In a way, that's the only logical explanation how batshit crazy he has become. How else would you explain someone who giggles like a schoolgirl when he sees a coin-operated shopping cart in Russia?

 

[butters]

“And I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs and mauled, physically mauled.”

“In a spiritual attack by a demon?” inquired Heers.

“Yeah, by a demon,” affirmed Carlson. “Or by something unseen that left claw marks on my sides.”

so either his missus got him as he slept for whatever reason (infidelity/racism/just being a general cunt), or one of the dogs or a cat jumped on the bed and slipped so grabbed a hold. It happens.

whatever happened (and i'm thinking it was the wife got him and he knows it), he's too embarrassed to admit what really happened and saw some advantage with the gullible for his lying

 

[Lazaran]

So weird.

https://www.mediaite.com/news/tucke...after-demon-attack-that-left-claw-mark-scars/

The real story:

Cucker Tarlson was having sex with his mistress (or master) or a sex worker, and she (or he) marked Cucker, so Cucker had to make up a story for his wife…and Cucker is sticking to it…

 

[MasterAnimus]

so either his missus got him as he slept for whatever reason (infidelity/racism/just being a general cunt), or one of the dogs or a cat jumped on the bed and slipped so grabbed a hold. It happens.

whatever happened (and i'm thinking it was the wife got him and he knows it), he's too embarrassed to admit what really happened and saw some advantage with the gullible for his lying

So, you're ruling out the possibility that he tried to emulate JD Vance and tried to have sex with his couch. Except the couch had too many springs.

I implore you to consider that possibility!

 

[adrina]

What a freakshow.

 

[MasterAnimus]

The same guy who said Jan 6th never happened, with all those videos, wants us to believe a demon mauled him? How the times have changed!

 

[Philthy_Phil]

Dude is weird.

 

[MasterAnimus]

And, I am not even making this up... Tucker texted Pfeiffer on Jan 6th, 2021 that Trump is a "demonic force, a destroyer."

https://www.rollingstone.com/politi...0-election-fraud-dominion-lawsuit-1234681503/

I think I have an idea who mauled him.

 

[adrina]

 

[MajorRewrite]

Tucker has clearly decided to become a televangelist.

It’s his new way to part fools from their money.

 

[coati]

I remember when that asshole first started appearing on TV. He thought it was "cute" to wear a bow tie.

 

[deckardB26354]

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExOXdmYngybWVybzV5bjkyMzNhM3A5MTAxaWRsdTZlY2RtNnl3amQ2NSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/XG2F9ZccrUgkvOmNyX/giphy.gif

 

[Lazaran]

I remember when that asshole first started appearing on TV. He thought it was "cute" to wear a bow tie.

No, no, no… it was cool and macho because it was a”Bro tie”…

 

[Politruk]

He was in bed with four dogs, woke up with claw marks, and he blames a DEMON?!

 

[MajorRewrite]

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExOXdmYngybWVybzV5bjkyMzNhM3A5MTAxaWRsdTZlY2RtNnl3amQ2NSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/XG2F9ZccrUgkvOmNyX/giphy.gif

Now we know why Tucker makes that face! There are DEMONS crawling up his butt!

 

[DeluxAuto]

I can't decide if this hurts or helps with the evangelical contingency.

 

[MasterAnimus]

He was in bed with four dogs, woke up with claw marks, and he blames a DEMON?!

He'd say - that's too simplistic of an explanation for MAGA that they can't grapple with.

 

[butters]

carlson's 'fake' concern face is as fake as trump's 'serious-but-i-think-this-is-stupid' face

neither would ever do well as actors; they give face like a five year old

 

[Bray123]