Cock Talk

I live alone, so lights are rarely used. People find it strange that I come home at night with no outside light and walk into a dark house, going through the living room without turning a light on until I’m in the kitchen.

To me, it’s kind of a mental exercise. 🤷‍♂️
I get it
I have vectors of chaos and cannot trust anything to be in the place I left it. Stepping on Lego barefoot changes a person
 
@Dirt_in_the_Ground raises an interesting point

Who here locks their doors?

I don't. And we have five doors to the exterior of our place (not including the garage).

I mean, we lock the place up if we're going to be home for any period of time but otherwise the doors are unlocked. We have fantastic neighbors who will check in on unfamiliar visitors and I have to remember to text them if I'm expecting people to enter the house when I'm not home. My poor plumber was both horrified and impressed the first time he visited. Three different neighbors came to chat to him to ensure he was legit 🤣
I stopped locking my doors decades ago, for a slightly different reason—I learned that locking them had been thwarting tipsy women who wanted to crash in my bed. That's decidedly less likely now, but I choose to believe it's not entirely impossible. :unsure:
 
As needed or like once a month?
If women had never been invented,
You lost me
do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?
I'm sure sheets would exist. Laying on a plain mattress? Ugh, awful
What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?
Shorts, t-shirt. I tried nude for a while but the sleep wasn't much better
Have you ever fucked your pillow?
I don't think so. Is it good?
Do you sleep in your socks?
No. Anyone who answers yes here needs reported immediately
Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?
When I had a dog, he slept on the bed, but I didn't like it. He always curled up against the back of my legs
Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?
Negative
Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?
Box underneath
Do you hog the blankets?
They're mine!
Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?
Always shower at night
Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?
shoes then socks, who keeps one shoe on?
Curtains open or closed?
Closed. I do stuff in there that the neighbors shan't see
Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?
My neighbors aren't hot enough to hope for the possibility of a peeper
Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?
I keep a sword and bat
It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?
Out
When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?
They're slightly askew. I toss and turn a few times throughout the night
 
How often do you change your sheets?
Every couple weeks or so.
If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?
Yes, yes, yes, and I am fine with it.
What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?
Either boxers or nothing.
Have you ever fucked your pillow?
One time I walked in on my girlfriend grinding on my pillow. She startled, and was going to stop, but I told her to keep going and sat beside the bed, watching her. After a few minutes, I climbed onto the bed, took the other pillow, and started to fuck it. We were face to face, almost but not quite touching. The only sound was us breathing and moaning until we both came at almost the same time.

It was just a little bit hot...

Do you sleep in your socks?
If the room is too cold to sleep, which is very rare for me, I have a pair of hand-knitted sox from my sister-in-law's grandmother that I will wear.
Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?
I have the Pooh bear that I carried with me when I was adopted as a baby on the other side of my bed. Just in case.
Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?
No. I do usually have a pile of clean clothes on the other side, though. It is sort of decorative.
Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?
I have a bin under my bed. I don't currently have a night stand.
Do you hog the blankets?
I did. And so did she. And that is why we got divorced.
Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?
Depends. Some days I shower when I get up, some days midday, and others before I go to sleep. It depends on a lot of factors. And whether I want to shower more than once, which I am fine with as well.
Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?
I am not a psychopath.
Curtains open or closed?
Closed, except when it is hot and I don't want to run my AC. I will have the window open and a fan going to draw in cool air.
Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?
I have a small window on the far side of my bedroom. I don't really pay that much attention if the blinds are up or not. If someone peeks in, well, they get what they get.
Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?
See above, re: massive pile of clean clothes.
Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?
Pooh bear? I own firearms, but they are locked away. There is a sword and a boken in the corner.
It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?
Out.
When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?
Depends a lot on whether I dream or not. I can wake up in the same position I went to sleep in (rarely), or in something that looks Iike my bed exploded.
 
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there's only me, but i still have 4 pillows. And 3 cushions. It's heaven.
I use 4 pillows myself and it’s heaven. What’s the difference between a pillow and a cushion?

Thanks to some wonderful lady. I had lots of dicks to color 😛😍
I imagine them on the fridge and your favorite framed somewhere 😂

I do confess, though, that I have bought a dust ruffle, to save myself the trouble of vacuuming under the bed. Which is what dust ruffles are for, right?
Dust ruffles will never be allowed in my house. I have a strict non ugly or offensive to the eyes policy 😂

I live alone, so lights are rarely used. People find it strange that I come home at night with no outside light and walk into a dark house, going through the living room without turning a light on until I’m in the kitchen.

To me, it’s kind of a mental exercise. 🤷‍♂️
I don’t mind a dark house, but I’m not comfortable with a dark front porch or side entrance. Something about fumbling with keys in the dark makes me feel unsafe. So I have dusk to dawn lights that automatically turn on in those two places as well as the garage door/alley. Motion lights in my back yard. I also think it deters any nefarious intent if an area is well lit or a light pops on.

Inside I’m a light turner offer and door locker. Hit or miss on remembering to turn on the security system. I’m most likely to use the camera to see if my groceries arrived or if a package was delivered. I also move cameras for random reasons. Like last week when I wanted to know what animals were digging in my garden or making tunnels by my side stairs 😂
 
I use 4 pillows myself and it’s heaven. What’s the difference between a pillow and a cushion?


I imagine them on the fridge and your favorite framed somewhere 😂


Dust ruffles will never be allowed in my house. I have a strict non ugly or offensive to the eyes policy 😂


I don’t mind a dark house, but I’m not comfortable with a dark front porch or side entrance. Something about fumbling with keys in the dark makes me feel unsafe. So I have dusk to dawn lights that automatically turn on in those two places as well as the garage door/alley. Motion lights in my back yard. I also think it deters any nefarious intent if an area is well lit or a light pops on.

Inside I’m a light turner offer and door locker. Hit or miss on remembering to turn on the security system. I’m most likely to use the camera to see if my groceries arrived or if a package was delivered. I also move cameras for random reasons. Like last week when I wanted to know what animals were digging in my garden or making tunnels by my side stairs 😂
Dust ruffles belong décor purgatory, along with fuzzy toilet seat covers & frilly shower curtains
https://media0.giphy.com/media/xT9KVg8gkDEyJIrVdK/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952wl6v00aozwpfp3t6xxwe8lvcn8lxqmakjub0khkw&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
 
In the event of emergency see my above statement about preparedness. If an intruder comes in, I’m more likely to strip off and fight naked. I consider it a form of intimidation. Plus, after I snap his neck I might fuck his corpse in the ass on my front yard just to send a message.

#notknownforsublety
Whoa. :oops:

And all this time I've been thinking of you as such a restrained character!
 
Who here locks their doors?
I lock doors like I'm a Final Girl!

Which can be problematic since I can never find my keys. 🤣
I've also just added camping lanterns to the girl's rooms so they can navigate in the dark if needed. They're at the age now where they are learning emergency preparedness 😁
I love this! :heart:
 
@Dirt_in_the_Ground raises an interesting point

Who here locks their doors?

I don't. And we have five doors to the exterior of our place (not including the garage).

I mean, we lock the place up if we're going to be gone for any period of time but otherwise the doors are unlocked. We have fantastic neighbors who will check in on unfamiliar visitors and I have to remember to text them if I'm expecting people to enter the house when I'm not home. My poor plumber was both horrified and impressed the first time he visited. Three different neighbors came to chat to him to ensure he was legit 🤣
Uh, my house is locked up like Fort Knox & cameras are everywhere even though I live in a very low crime area.
 
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