Cock Talk

[MindYaBitness]

According to ersties there are vibrators involved as well...

All the best parties do

 

[aussiegeekygal]

All the best parties do

I've been to some very lame parties

 

[hotwords229_A]

According to ersties there are vibrators involved as well...

All the best parties do

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/871/626/7c2.gif

 

[MindYaBitness]

I've been to some very lame parties

My personal motto is: I am the Party.

No matter what stuffy event, or boring office x-mas party I'm at, I'm always making my own great time

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My personal motto is: I am the Party.

No matter what stuffy event, or boring office x-mas party I'm at, I'm always making my own great time

Same. I really enjoy life (and people who want to enjoy it with me).
I've never whipped a vibrator out at a party, though.
Not yet

 

[MindYaBitness]

Same. I really enjoy life (and people who want to enjoy it with me).
I've never whipped a vibrator out at a party, though.
Not yet

Have you whipped out your penis lipstick at church? That's almost fun

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I feel like we should kumbaya & exchange organization tips

When I had surgery earlier this year and was mostly stuck in bed and bedroom, I reorganized the double card catalog that I use as a night stand. I got this tiny thermal printer that works from your phone and can do labels and pictures.

I sent pictures to my sister of a few organized drawers of lip balm and meds along with the labels in the holder on the front of the card catalog drawers. Her reply, “Labels and organizing? Why are you sexting me?”

Why the hell aren't we all in the same room giggling together?

The first time I did edibles (and the first time I got high from THC) was my sister’s 40th birthday which was a cabin girls weekend with 8 of us. It was 80s themed so the first night we were all decked out in neon, spandex, wigs, and jelly bracelets…high af giggling up a storm and with serious munchies. This is now how I imagine all sleepovers

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Have you whipped out your penis lipstick at church? That's almost fun

I love you

 

[LadyLascivious1]

My personal motto is: I am the Party.

No matter what stuffy event, or boring office x-mas party I'm at, I'm always making my own great time

Same! I think it’s also why I don’t really have FOMO. I make my own fun.

Have you whipped out your penis lipstick at church? That's almost fun

How did I not know this existed?! I think I could easily give my mom a conniption fit with this

 

[MindYaBitness]

Same! I think it’s also why I don’t really have FOMO. I make my own fun.


How did I not know this existed?! I think I could easily give my mom a conniption fit with this

I got the black. It's a great gloss, it just deepens whatever color you're wearing. The balls are quite heavy

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I got the black. It's a great gloss, it just deepens whatever color you're wearing. The balls are quite heavy

I was just about to ask what color you had. The black was the front runner.

 

[MindYaBitness]

My gummy is pulling me to that caramel switch into sleep. Nighty night folks!

 

[morelikeasong]

How often do you change your sheets?

Once a week-ish

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets?

Maybe when they were having a woman over

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?

Matching pj set. Or a big tshirt and shorts. And I sleep topless if I get hot.

Have you ever fucked your pillow?

Oh yes

Do you sleep in your socks?

Rarely because it doesn’t get cold where I live. But if I’m cold, I will.

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?

I don’t have any pets but no, I’m anti animals in the bed. Sorry

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?

Nope, only on the guest bed

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?

Yes and yes

Do you hog the blankets?

Nope. I’m pretty good about sticking to my section

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?

I generally shower in the evening but depends on the day. If I got sweaty or icky at some point, I’ll definitely take a quick shower before bed.

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?

I don’t know what this has to do with bedtime, but both

Curtains open or closed?

Either. Different reasons for each. Currently keep one open because it helps me get up when the kids wake up.

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?

I have a thread about this . I like peeping neighbors

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?

I sleep in pajamas. But if I sleep without a shirt or pants, I have one by the bed as well as a robe

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?

My husband

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?

No such thing in my house. I like it cold to sleep. I’m more likely to put the blankets down to my waist than have feet out but I remember growing up without a/c I would do one leg out a lot.

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?

Maybe not perfect, but I don’t move a ton in my sleep. I usually wake up to roll over.

 

[hotwords229_A]

And I sleep topless if I get hot.

That is hot!

I have a thread about this . I like peeping neighbors

Subscribed!

 

[Wand3rlust]

How often do you change your sheets?

it depends. When they need doing, when I feel like it. No hard and fast rules. If I go away then I always change them before I go so I have clean sheets for when I get back..

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?

they'd have sheets?

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?

nothing. Makes no difference who is there. Robe and coverups within easy reach.

Have you ever fucked your pillow?

No

Do you sleep in your socks?

no

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?

2 dogs sleep on the bed with me.

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?

there's only me, but i still have 4 pillows. And 3 cushions. It's heaven.

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?

regular ones in the drawer in my bedside stand - easy reach for use and for charging... that reminds me... *wanders off*

Do you hog the blankets?

*returns* it doesnt matter if I do, but no. I dont. I'm more likely to kick them off.

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?

I bathe before. And sometimes in the morning as well. It depends on... activities. Temperatures. Etc.

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?

Do I seem psychopathic to you? 

Curtains open or closed?

when? At night? Closed - I like it dark.

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?

I dont care. I don't parade myself, but if someone happens to get un/lucky then... so be it.

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?

see above. Easy reach.

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?

Erm. does nora count?

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?

out. Feet, leg, thigh... whatever

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?

I wake up like in the movies or on tv. Perfectly made up and looking angelic. Obvs

What did I miss?

Dunno. Did you post your balls?

 

[SassySheDevil]

When I had surgery earlier this year and was mostly stuck in bed and bedroom, I reorganized the double card catalog that I use as a night stand. I got this tiny thermal printer that works from your phone and can do labels and pictures.

I sent pictures to my sister of a few organized drawers of lip balm and meds along with the labels in the holder on the front of the card catalog drawers. Her reply, “Labels and organizing? Why are you sexting me?”

Thanks to some wonderful lady. I had lots of dicks to color

 

[hotwords229_A]

there's only me, but i still have 4 pillows. And 3 cushions. It's heaven.

This will never cease to entertain me.

Erm. does nora count?

I don’t know what Nora is. I can only assume you had a dummy made that looks just like you that you will throw out into the hallway as a decoy and you named her Nora. In which case, yes it counts.

I wake up like in the movies or on tv. Perfectly made up and looking angelic. Obvs

Dunno. Did you post your balls?

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

Why does your pillow smell funny?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/deea8c7bf545900c1c9ccab1fc0447fc/tumblr_necprmtoJw1r2iywxo8_400.gif

Let’s get back to basics:

How often do you change your sheets?
If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?
What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?
Have you ever fucked your pillow?
Do you sleep in your socks?
Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?
Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?
Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?
Do you hog the blankets?
Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?
Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?
Curtains open or closed?
Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?
Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?
Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?
It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?
When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?
What did I miss?

How often do you change your sheets? I change them if I expect (or hope for) company. I change them if I've lost something, like, say, the last lighter in the house, or a thumb drive, and feel compelled to strip the bed looking for it. Or if I stumble upon some sort of motivational video and feel briefly inspired to act like an adult. Otherwise, make me change them! You're not my mom!

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look? Har! I've had women I didn't even live with buy me sheets and mattresses because they found my living conditions untenable. On the other hand, a few years ago, when I was living with a male friend, we both slept in sleeping bags on hardwood floors—we spent a lot of time angry and frustrated, but boy, we got some shit done. I guess it's important to try to maintain a balance between the two. I mean, I wouldn't take offense if a woman walked in and suggested that the shovel and chainsaw by my front door are fucking with the feng shui of the living room. I do confess, though, that I have bought a dust ruffle, to save myself the trouble of vacuuming under the bed. Which is what dust ruffles are for, right?

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)? When it's chilly out, a tee shirt and pajama bottoms (and, here again, I only have pajama bottoms because women have given them to me). Lately naked, because it's been making me uncomfortable when my balls can't "breathe."

Have you ever fucked your pillow? I vaguely recall going through a brief phase when I would fuck two pillows with my dick sandwiched between. But that was before I gained access to actual human orifices.

Do you sleep in your socks? I absolutely cannot.

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)? Sure. I feel something primally comforting about settling in as part of a pack, and it's also sometimes pretty entertaining.

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative? Why?

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else? I have a dildo in a bedside drawer, next to a Smith & Wesson .357. I have little use for either, but it amuses me to arrange things in silly ways.

Do you hog the blankets? One of the few demands I've explicitly made in long-term relationships is that I must have my own sheet. Partly because I dislike the feeling of my feet pinned in at the foot of the bed, partly because I'm invariably less cold-natured than my partner, and partly to avoid territorial semiconscious skirmishes over who controls the covers.

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth? Now that it's hot out, I check myself for mud and blood and hose myself off before I go inside if I find any (and I often do this time of year). Or I go for a swim. Otherwise, not so much. I feel like I have become somewhat reptilian, and hardly sweat anymore.

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath? Interesting. I go back and forth on this, but I make note of it and wonder why. I'm quite sure the behavior isn't psychopathic, but the wondering about it is almost certainly OCD. Maybe ask Tiggobitties to look it up?

Curtains open or closed? Depends on the weather and how much sun I want to let in. I don't need to worry about anyone seeing me walk around naked, unless the farmer on the other side of the holler has a telescope, and I doubt he's interested.

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen? I've had thoughts of exhibitionism when I've had neighbors, in more tightly packed circumstances, who seemed to enjoy showing themselves off or having sex with their curtains open and their lights on. But it no longer enters my mind—or didn't until you put it there. Anyone willing to make an effort to see me naked will get what they deserve—which means never being able to unsee it.

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos? Sort of. Not for real emergencies, but more on the off chance I have to greet the world before I've had my coffee. I simply deplore being caught in un-color-coordinated attire.

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed? I have the revolver in my nightstand, but that's more because it was my grandpa's and that's where he kept it. I rarely think to lock my doors—the intruders I fear are passive-aggressive family members bent on emotionally torturing me, not straightforward criminals who just want to take my stuff.

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in? I sleep better when I'm covered neck to toes, but I let go of that as it gets warmer.

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed? My bed covers can turn 180 degrees in the course of a two-hour nap. I've occasionally contemplated participating in a sleep study to get to the bottom of that.

What did I miss? I'm not sure you asked enough foot-related questions.

 

[hotwords229_A]

How often do you change your sheets?

When needed. There is no schedule. This whole line of questioning was based on sweating my balls off and having to change my sheets two days after just putting clean ones on.

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?

I would only have my sleeping rock.

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?

Boxer briefs in summer, add a shirt for winter.

Have you ever fucked your pillow?

Of course, what a ridiculous question.

Do you sleep in your socks?

Never! I can’t stand anything on my feet or legs when trying to sleep (other than a sheet or blankets). The only exception is if I’m sick and have a fever.

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?

No pets at the moment, but yes. There is nothing like a big dog laying on top of me.

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?

Utilitarian only. I also don’t make my bed.
#outlaw4life

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?

I only own one sex toy that I bought recently. It is in the closet clever hidden under a hat that I never wear.

Do you hog the blankets?

Yes, but I also push them off me. Unless it’s cold, I prefer to sleep next to my pillow and blankets.

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?

I usually sleep in my own filth. I have to shower in the morning, so going to bed “dirty” doesn’t bother me. Unless I’m really dirty, or someone else will be joining me.

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?

From the question, the answer is obvious.

Curtains open or closed?

Open when I lived in to boonies. Closed now.

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?

It’s tough to see my bedroom window from the backyard, but not impossible. Those people have kids, so I try to be discreet, just in case.

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?

In the event of emergency see my above statement about preparedness. If an intruder comes in, I’m more likely to strip off and fight naked. I consider it a form of intimidation. Plus, after I snap his neck I might fuck his corpse in the ass on my front yard just to send a message.

#notknownforsublety

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?

If I did, would I tell you?

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?

Out.

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?

I often wake up with most of my covers on the floor. I’m pretty sure I sleep as if possessed by Pazuzu.

What did I miss?

You forgot to apologize to @Apisto42 for not using a woman in the question gif.
I tried to find a topless girl fucking her pillow, but most pics were from behind so I couldn’t include more boobs as you requested.
I’ll try “harder” next time.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I do confess, though, that I have bought a dust ruffle, to save myself the trouble of vacuuming under the bed. Which is what dust ruffles are for, right?

That exists?! Does it work?

I have a dildo in a bedside drawer, next to a Smith & Wesson .357.

Jesus! Don’t ever mix those up!

I'm quite sure the behavior isn't psychopathic

It is, though.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

shovel and chainsaw by my front door

Ok, that's hot too

 

[aussiegeekygal]

@Dirt_in_the_Ground raises an interesting point

Who here locks their doors?

I don't. And we have five doors to the exterior of our place (not including the garage).

I mean, we lock the place up if we're going to be gone for any period of time but otherwise the doors are unlocked. We have fantastic neighbors who will check in on unfamiliar visitors and I have to remember to text them if I'm expecting people to enter the house when I'm not home. My poor plumber was both horrified and impressed the first time he visited. Three different neighbors came to chat to him to ensure he was legit

 

[hotwords229_A]

@Dirt_in_the_Ground raises an interesting point

Who here locks their doors?

I don't. And we have five doors to the exterior of our place (not including the garage).

I mean, we lock the place up if we're going to be home for any period of time but otherwise the doors are unlocked. We have fantastic neighbors who will check in on unfamiliar visitors and I have to remember to text them if I'm expecting people to enter the house when I'm not home. My poor plumber was both horrified and impressed the first time he visited. Three different neighbors came to chat to him to ensure he was legit

All doors locked. Just like my keys, I am a notorious door locker and light turner-offer. I lock doors without even realizing I’m doing it. Sometimes I take the garbage out and come back to find I locked myself out. Luckily, I know where my keys are.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I always leave some lights on. And I'm the case the electricity is out, I got my trust mag light to lead the way.

I've also just added camping lanterns to the girl's rooms so they can navigate in the dark if needed. They're at the age now where they are learning emergency preparedness

 

[hotwords229_A]

I live alone, so lights are rarely used. People find it strange that I come home at night with no outside light and walk into a dark house, going through the living room without turning a light on until I’m in the kitchen.

To me, it’s kind of a mental exercise.