Cock Talk

[Endless_Night]

It gets better.
This comment is being shared in my family group chat. It's a genetic habit. We're all laughing and silently going "fuck".

Oh, my God.

 

[hotwords229_A]

look at me, decades away from my firefighting days and yet I'm still fulfilling my civic duties!

https://media1.giphy.com/media/1lk1IcVgqPLkA/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952rr41jgmvkskwd7u904q7g0wyosg69a0lsoxzxa86&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

I always leave the previous day’s clothes on the floor next to my bed as they were. In less than a minute, I can be fully clothed, have my car keys, cash, chewing gum and be out the door and ready for anything.

It’s just how I am.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I get that.
I have a bunch of my husband's boxer briefs he didn't really care for. I love them for sleeping.

I've got some lady boxer briefs that I love too, Enbyknight turned me onto a website that has some cute & quirky options

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I always leave the previous day’s clothes on the floor next to my bed as they were. In less than a minute, I can be fully clothed, have my car keys, cash, chewing gum and be out the door and ready for anything.

It’s just how I am.

Do you have specified places for keys/wallet/etc?

 

[Endless_Night]

I always leave the previous day’s clothes on the floor next to my bed as they were. In less than a minute, I can be fully clothed, have my car keys, cash, chewing gum and be out the door and ready for anything.

It’s just how I am.

Is this your boy scout training?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I've got some lady boxer briefs that I love too, Enbyknightcturned me onto a website that has some cute & quirky options

Cute and quirky is my jam

 

[hotwords229_A]

I have absolutely done this. They are sooooooo comfortable.

You wore Aussie’s husband’s underwear?!!!

 

[Endless_Night]

You wore Aussie’s husband’s underwear?!!!

Not today.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

You wore Aussie’s husband’s underwear?!!!

Wouldn't you like to know?

 

[MindYaBitness]

I always leave the previous day’s clothes on the floor next to my bed as they were. In less than a minute, I can be fully clothed, have my car keys, cash, chewing gum and be out the door and ready for anything.

It’s just how I am.

Uh, I know this will shock absolutely no one, but it takes me waaaaay longer to get ready. I can throw my bathrobe on and not show the poor police/fire/EMS my bare ass, but that's as good as it gets

 

[hotwords229_A]

Do you have specified places for keys/wallet/etc?

Absolutely. I can proudly say I have spent zero seconds of my life wondering where my keys are.

Is this your boy scout training?

Something like that.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Absolutely. I can proudly say I have spent zero seconds of my life wondering where my keys are.

Teach me this dark magic

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Absolutely. I can proudly say I have spent zero seconds of my life wondering where my keys are.

It took me a little longer to figure out that kind of thing (probably because I moved house on average every 18 months for the first 12 years of my marriage), but every since; yes!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Teach me this dark magic

They are either in my left front pocket, the ignition of my car, or on the table next to my bed (assuming my clothes got wet or something and can’t be left till morning).

And nowhere else. Ever!

 

[MindYaBitness]

They are either in my left front pocket, the ignition of my car, or on the table next to my bed (assuming my clothes got wet or something and can’t be left till morning).

Ya, mine are always in my purse. No need to ever take them out, and yet there must be a stronger, darker magic afoot as they are NEVER there

 

[aussiegeekygal]

They are either in my left front pocket, the ignition of my car, or on the table next to my bed (assuming my clothes got wet or something and can’t be left till morning).

And nowhere else. Ever!

I have places for them in all the places I exist.
At home they hang on a particular hook, at work they're in a valet tray, and in transit they're in my purse. I also have obnoxious red tags attached them that make them visible and physically easy to locate.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Wouldn't you like to know?

Yes.

 

[Endless_Night]

Absolutely. I can proudly say I have spent zero seconds of my life wondering where my keys are.

HOW is this even possible.

I lose mine fifteen times a day!

 

[MindYaBitness]

HOW is this even possible.

I lose mine fifteen times a day!

https://media2.giphy.com/media/kFIfiwvzJjbUsNbIg5/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952ynbgr5ofvqyaqoaoi5j0kvx0dvl481peewrjwms0&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Do you like your women s little dominant?

I like all my partners a little dominant. I am as well. I enjoy the push and pull of it.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Absolutely. I can proudly say I have spent zero seconds of my life wondering where my keys are.

My record is not quite so perfect, but my keys and office key card have strict locations and I almost never deviate. They even have designated spots when I travel.

 

[Endless_Night]

Wow. All this dominant commentary.

I'm suddenly feeling inadequate.

 

[hotwords229_A]

My record is not quite so perfect, but my keys and office key card have strict locations and I almost never deviate. They even have designated spots when I travel.

This is the answer. I’ve been told that I am very regimented.

 

[Endless_Night]

And you all know where your keys are! *thunk*

You are terrible people.



(Except @Tigobitties98. She loves me. )

 

[Amanda330]

How often do you change your sheets?

Every Sunday or more often if I've been sweaty or sick.

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?

I don't care really what anyone else does as long as I don't have to smell or see it.

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?

Depends on if my children are home. If they're here panties and a tank top or some kind of nighty/robe combo. If they aren't, I'm naked.

Have you ever fucked your pillow?

Yes.

Do you sleep in your socks?

No, unless I'm sick or freezing.

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?

No, I don't have any pets. I have children - they're enough. I had a fish - his name was Chad - and he died. I cried. I can't handle pets dying maybe. It's too much.

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?

Of course. I have euro pillows, decorative pillows and a blanket my grandma made for me as a wedding gift. She passed away and it is one of my favorite things.

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?

Somewhere else. My closet. My bedside table doesn't have drawers.

Do you hog the blankets?

It's just me so... Yes. Lol. And I enjoy every second of it.

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?

Shower before bed usually.

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?

Both shoes then both socks. I think. I'm like 96.7% sure.

Curtains open or closed?

Open during the day. Closed at night.

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?

I change wherever whenever. I don't try to hide but I'm also not putting on a show. I'm not bothered by the thought of someone catching a glimpse and yet I highly doubt anyone is waiting by my window for me to get naked.

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?

I usually have a robe at the foot of my bed at night.

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?

Do books count? Otherwise it's just me...

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?

One foot out, one foot in... The fan is always on no matter how cold or hot it is.

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?

Depends on the dreams I've had. Sometimes I get out of bed and it barely looks slept in. Other times it looks like I went to battle.

What did I miss?

Nothing? Maybe how many pillows do you actually sleep with?