Sex & Shenanigans

[UnquietDreams]

That video in chaos I have up is literally because the pic wouldn't work out... Lol. It hurt my back...

Oh, but I really appreciate the effort! My smoke alarm is still going off.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Yeah. Well... Sometimes you can't get the right angle.

The pic game is a serious business. Lol

The way you play, absolutely.

 

[morelikeasong]

I enjoy porn, but it is ruing everything for sure.

It’s definitely not the healthiest thing for society in many ways. But also… people should be able to fantasize about someone/something while also keeping their hands to themselves and their mouths shut about it.

The arborist that comes to look at my trees is fucking hot and I absolutely think about him taking me against one of those trees. But I just politely ask him my tree questions and then masturbate when he leaves. Like a civilized person!

 

[Amanda330]

It’s definitely not the healthiest thing for society in many ways. But also… people should be able to fantasize about someone/something while also keeping their hands to themselves and their mouths shut about it.

The arborist that comes to look at my trees is fucking hot and I absolutely think about him taking me against one of those trees. But I just politely ask him my tree questions and then masturbate when he leaves. Like a civilized person!

THIS! 100%

Also, I now need to look into getting an arborist, I guess.

 

[UnquietDreams]

THIS! 100%

Also, I now need to look into getting an arborist, I guess.

I have a ladder and a tree saw. I can find a hat that says "arborist," if that works.

 

[lavendersilk]

THIS! 100%

Also, I now need to look into getting an arborist, I guess.

Just a regular gardener perhaps? I would ask for pictures before hiring though...

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

It’s definitely not the healthiest thing for society in many ways. But also… people should be able to fantasize about someone/something while also keeping their hands to themselves and their mouths shut about it.

The arborist that comes to look at my trees is fucking hot and I absolutely think about him taking me against one of those trees. But I just politely ask him my tree questions and then masturbate when he leaves. Like a civilized person!

For sure, to be clear it’s less the porn as much as porn mixed with toxic patriarchal culture that’s the issue. You should masturbate to whomever you want whenever you want (that’s not in public w/o consent)

 

[UnquietDreams]

It’s definitely not the healthiest thing for society in many ways. But also… people should be able to fantasize about someone/something while also keeping their hands to themselves and their mouths shut about it.

The arborist that comes to look at my trees is fucking hot and I absolutely think about him taking me against one of those trees. But I just politely ask him my tree questions and then masturbate when he leaves. Like a civilized person!

When the arborist...leaves?

 

[dawn_of_night]

Sniff sniff waaaaaaaaasa

I can do both. Crying dick pics!

 

[dawn_of_night]

Good morning fuckers happy Sunday

 

[UnquietDreams]

Just a regular gardener perhaps? I would ask for pictures before hiring though...

I also have a shovel. And @dawn_of_night says I am a ho...maybe she means hoe?

 

[morelikeasong]

THIS! 100%

Also, I now need to look into getting an arborist, I guess.

Bearded, slightly rugged outdoorsy look. Also incredibly knowledgeable, riding the line between practical and nerdy. It’s a whole vibe

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

THIS! 100%

Also, I now need to look into getting an arborist, I guess.

You should. Trimming your own bush is so tedious.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Good morning fuckers happy Sunday

Good morning, sweetheart! I was just quoting you.

 

[Amanda330]

Bearded, slightly rugged outdoorsy look. Also incredibly knowledgeable, riding the line between practical and nerdy. It’s a whole vibe

I'm hot and bothered just reading that... Nerds are my jam.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Bearded, slightly rugged outdoorsy look. Also incredibly knowledgeable, riding the line between practical and nerdy. It’s a whole vibe

Damn, my "practical" game is weak...

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Just a regular gardener perhaps? I would ask for pictures before hiring though...

I think this violates labor laws. Here in the people’s republic of Drugafornia anyway,

 

[Amanda330]

I think this violates labor laws. Here in the people’s republic of Drugafornia anyway,

Maybe I can post a personal ad in the paper? But then I'd probably only get 90 year olds. Oh well. The dream was fun while it lasted... On to the next.

 

[MissLabelled]

I think this violates labor laws. Here in the people’s republic of Drugafornia anyway,

But if they are going to plant seeds in your fertile soil, shouldn't you get to choose one that meets your fancy?

 

[UnquietDreams]

Maybe I can post a personal ad in the paper? But then I'd probably only get 90 year olds. Oh well. The dream was fun while it lasted... On to the next.

Do they still have personal ads in papers? Do they still have papers?

 

[UnquietDreams]

I will happily be your gardener or arborist. However, I hate yard work, and I am bad with it, so it will just be for the sex.

 

[positiveflirt]

Do they still have personal ads in papers? Do they still have papers?

They do! But you have to post a personal ad ("seeking newspaper to post personal ad") on the internet to find one..

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Maybe I can post a personal ad in the paper? But then I'd probably only get 90 year olds. Oh well. The dream was fun while it lasted... On to the next.

never let the dream die. Facebook marketplace probably has pics legally

 

[dawn_of_night]

Good morning, sweetheart! I was just quoting you.

I saw that! You're my Ho! I would not use you in the garden, there are better places in my world to place a treasure such as you....

 

[dawn_of_night]

I will happily be your gardener or arborist. However, I hate yard work, and I am bad with it, so it will just be for the sex.

Fuck. Sign me up for that....
I'll do the yard work, you make the sweet tea and fancy syrups you/we enjoy