🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[Bry1313]

I know you've all been chomping at the bit. I can see the wet spots from your drool. *wipes it with his finger*

Fuck, maybe that's not drool.

So this week was a real barnburner. Thanks to @crazychemgirl we had a night of wanking that will be remembered in the anals. This weeks wanker...well, I've never seen so many nominations for one person. I'm going to be honest, I stopped keeping track of some of them because the post would be too long.

But I digress.















Meaningless scrolling

















A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...
















Ingredients
3 cups (375g) all-purpose flour (spooned & leveled)
2 teaspoons cream of tartar*
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (16 Tbsp; 226g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 and 1/3 cup (267g) granulated sugar
1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Topping
1/3 cup (70g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark

Instructions
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats (always recommended for cookies). Set aside.

Make the topping: Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl.

Make the cookies: Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt together in a medium bowl.

In a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter and granulated sugar together on high speed until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract. Beat on medium-high speed until combined. Scrape down the sides and up the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. The dough will be thick.

Roll cookie dough into balls, about 1.5 Tablespoons (35g) of cookie dough each. I recommend this cookie scoop. Roll the dough balls in cinnamon-sugar topping. Sprinkle extra cinnamon-sugar on top if desired. Arrange 3 inches apart on the baking sheets.
Bake cookies for 10 minutes. The cookies will be very puffy and soft. When they are still very warm, lightly press down on them with the back of a spoon or fork to help flatten them out. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Cookies remain soft & fresh for 7 days in an airtight container at room temperature.



Oh, here's the envelope. And the winner of this week's Wanker of the Week is...
View attachment 2348785
View attachment 2348786

Congratulations @Tigobitties98. There isn't a soul on Lit that can wank as much as you. Go forth and spread...well, your bitties, for all the wankers to celebrate.

That trophy has never looked better; welcome to an extremely exclusive club @Tigobitties98

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Wow, I am truly honored. Acceptance speech will be posted as soon as I am able!

Congrats sis. I got it first though and I’m gonna make sure mom remembers.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Wow, I am truly honored. Acceptance speech will be posted as soon as I am able!

Congratulations! I knew you had it in you.

 

[StillRain]

Well wankers, it’s a dreary Sunday and I’m done wanking. Sooooo, I’m gonna make that recipe our PoJ shared.



Disappointingly, it turns out that these cookies DO NOT include Shiraz, which seems both wise AND wasteful. So I’ll just drink it. *clinks air glasses* Up ya bum.

Will this be a success or a shiraz fuelled failure? Only Gary knows.

More to follow.

 

[StillRain]

Instructions should have indicated I would need the muscles of a fucking behemoth to maintain control of both bowl and hand mixer for it to manage the density of this mixture. I had to straddle the bowl like a backstreet sex worker.

Jesus. Christ. Arcane fuckery at it’s finest.



Further, recipe needs to indicate more wine will be required than merely one half of a bottle.

More to follow.

 

[StillRain]

Well. That was a really great Shiraz. Gary knows Shiraz.

The cookies, I hear NOT A SINGLE PERSON ASK because everyone’s just waiting for this week’s winners speech but while we wait….

My snickerdoodles!


They are…..not bad but not the best I’ve eaten. They’re a little dryer than I feel like they should be.

I’ve had a real true American make these in this house before and that batch were the second best American thing to ever come here.
This batch though? Not like his. I feel like I fucked up the butter ratio somehow.

So, I and my kiddos will definitely devour these this week when they come back to me, and my happy little home smells divine and isn’t that the real point of baking anyway? Cheers!



Now where’s this fucking speech? Christ does everyone else have a life?

 

[Apisto42]

Well. That was a really great Shiraz. Gary knows Shiraz.

The cookies, I hear NOT A SINGLE PERSON ASK because everyone’s just waiting for this week’s winners speech but while we wait….

My snickerdoodles!


They are…..not bad but not the best I’ve eaten. They’re a little dryer than I feel like they should be.

I’ve had a real true American make these in this house before and that batch were the second best American thing to ever come here.
This batch though? Not like his. I feel like I fucked up the butter ratio somehow.

So, I and my kiddos will definitely devour these this week when they come back to me, and my happy little home smells divine and isn’t that the real point of baking anyway? Cheers!

View attachment 2348832

Now where’s this fucking speech? Christ does everyone else have a life?

They look overbaked you silly drunk slag.

 

[InThe312]

Well. That was a really great Shiraz. Gary knows Shiraz.

The cookies, I hear NOT A SINGLE PERSON ASK because everyone’s just waiting for this week’s winners speech but while we wait….

My snickerdoodles!


They are…..not bad but not the best I’ve eaten. They’re a little dryer than I feel like they should be.

I’ve had a real true American make these in this house before and that batch were the second best American thing to ever come here.
This batch though? Not like his. I feel like I fucked up the butter ratio somehow.

So, I and my kiddos will definitely devour these this week when they come back to me, and my happy little home smells divine and isn’t that the real point of baking anyway? Cheers!

View attachment 2348832

Now where’s this fucking speech? Christ does everyone else have a life?

They look delicious. Very anti-wanker. No nomination for you, just nom nom noms.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Yummmm! I love snickerdoodles!

 

[InThe312]

Yummmm! I love snickerdoodles!

Nominated for bandwagon jumping.

 

[StillRain]

They look overbaked you silly drunk slag.

I’d like to nominate my little shit salad for his offensive name calling.

 

[StillRain]

They look overbaked you silly drunk slag.

The brown is the cinnamon sugar mix you blind old bat. Maybe you need to use those pincers for something other than squeezing your little tiddie nips and embiggen the pictures.

 

[StillRain]

Yummmm! I love snickerdoodles!

They’re the best cookie ever I feel!

 

[Apisto42]

The brown is the cinnamon sugar mix you blind old bat. Maybe you need to use those pincers for something other than squeezing your little tiddie nips and embiggen the pictures.

I did! I make the picture biggly. The outermost edges are over done for a snickerdoodle.

But it’s probably the dough being too stiff why they so dry. Blame 312 for the recipe.

Edit: you cobnobbler

 

[StillRain]

I did! I make the picture biggly. The outermost edges are over done for a snickerdoodle.

But it’s probably the dough being too stiff why they so dry. Blame 312 for the recipe.

Edit: you cobnobbler

I’d like the recipe for the cobnobbler.

 

[Apisto42]

I’d like the recipe for the cobnobbler.

When @InThe312 is in town, bake a fruit cobbler with a crumb top. While it’s in the oven, have wild monkey sex, eat hot fresh cobbler.

Fairly simple recipe.

 

[InThe312]

When @InThe312 is in town, bake a fruit cobbler with a crumb top. While it’s in the oven, have wild monkey sex, eat hot fresh cobbler.

Fairly simple recipe.

I don't know why you need some fancy name for this.

We just call it Tuesday.

 

[Apisto42]

I don't know why you need some fancy name for this.

We just call it Tuesday.

Do you switch up the cobbler each week?

 

[jaF0]

I'll nominate it, but I won't name it.

@unknown

 

[crazychemgirl]

I know you've all been chomping at the bit. I can see the wet spots from your drool. *wipes it with his finger*

Fuck, maybe that's not drool.

So this week was a real barnburner. Thanks to @crazychemgirl we had a night of wanking that will be remembered in the anals. This weeks wanker...well, I've never seen so many nominations for one person. I'm going to be honest, I stopped keeping track of some of them because the post would be too long.

But I digress.















Meaningless scrolling

















A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...
















Ingredients
3 cups (375g) all-purpose flour (spooned & leveled)
2 teaspoons cream of tartar*
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (16 Tbsp; 226g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 and 1/3 cup (267g) granulated sugar
1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Topping
1/3 cup (70g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark

Instructions
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats (always recommended for cookies). Set aside.

Make the topping: Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl.

Make the cookies: Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt together in a medium bowl.

In a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter and granulated sugar together on high speed until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract. Beat on medium-high speed until combined. Scrape down the sides and up the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. The dough will be thick.

Roll cookie dough into balls, about 1.5 Tablespoons (35g) of cookie dough each. I recommend this cookie scoop. Roll the dough balls in cinnamon-sugar topping. Sprinkle extra cinnamon-sugar on top if desired. Arrange 3 inches apart on the baking sheets.
Bake cookies for 10 minutes. The cookies will be very puffy and soft. When they are still very warm, lightly press down on them with the back of a spoon or fork to help flatten them out. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Cookies remain soft & fresh for 7 days in an airtight container at room temperature.



Oh, here's the envelope. And the winner of this week's Wanker of the Week is...
View attachment 2348785
View attachment 2348786

Congratulations @Tigobitties98. There isn't a soul on Lit that can wank as much as you. Go forth and spread...well, your bitties, for all the wankers to celebrate.

You’re welcome … lol.


And CONGRATULATIONS to @Tigobitties98 for her amazing wanking skills … I don’t know that I’ve met such a talented wanker in all my years on lit.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I don't know why you need some fancy name for this.

We just call it Tuesday.

Nominated for not recognizing her desire to show how special it is.

 

[morelikeasong]

Wow, I am truly honored. Acceptance speech will be posted as soon as I am able!

I’m really looking forward to this speech. I feel like it’s going to be a good one

 

[MindYaBitness]

I’m really looking forward to this speech. I feel like it’s going to be a good one

I don't know what you mean?
View attachment 2348947

 

[MindYaBitness]

Thank you all for finally giving me a reason to wear this magnificent gown.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Thank you all for finally giving me a reason to wear this magnificent gown.

That is a gorgeous dress.