🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[AmberLGreen]

Well wanky Litsters, the final nomination list for this week is here. Wagers accepted right until the final winner is announced.

Don't let that stop you from getting next week started.

Winner coming soon.

(Nominee / Money line / Over Under on Total WotWs)
@ToPleaseHim for Dickie / +1500 / 1
@SalaciousMonkey22 surely for credence, sucking up, bro failure / +500 / 7
@crazychemgirl for failing to read / +800 / 3
@lavendersilk for thirst / -300 / 1
@Wand3rlust for denial, wasting my time, hot dog finger hate / +200 / 10
@OrdinaryPerson can't take a hint?? / +150 / 2
@Lonelywife1205 can't take a hint?? / -150 / 1
@ydahecnot for locution / -500 / 2
@Bry1313 for history (all of it) / -100 / 15
@UnquietDreams for history of frog sex / -300 / 2
@Indie for obfuscation / -400 / 1
@Xerxes82 for boring / -350 / 1
@Tigobitties98 for being right about history / -325 / 1
@Amanda330 for beguiling / +300 / 2
@Wriggle for staying covered / +400 / 1

We at Wanker Media Group appreciate your support.

Nominated for:

1. Only being PoJ for 2 minutes and already changing the company name
2. Favouritism or plain stupidity. @StillRain has been nominated but is missing from the list of nominees
3. Laziness. Previous (and best) PoJ didn’t slack and group nominations
4. Controlling behaviour. Deciding the value of the nominations
5. Annoying me with this shitty half-arsed attempt at a nomination list

Watch him put the best odds on that list. What a fucking wanker!

 

[InThe312]

It's been a short week fellow Litsters. It took us several days and two sheriffs to finally get @Wand3rlust to return the keys to Wanker Central.

Here we are again, the awards ceremony has begun.
























I have stroked and prodded for all the wanky nominations. Scoured the threads for the worst of you all.























I painstakingly reviewed each and every one of your resumes to find the most deserving.


















But wait















There's more















It's May the 4th. Not only does this week's wanker get all the accolades and life achievement that comes with winning the WotW, they're also receiving a 1 of 1, WotW special edition trophy to put on their mantle. Shove up their ass..










You would never have expected it, but this week's wanker exceeded those expectations. Congratulations @UnquietDreams, you received multiple nominations for bringing history and amphibians and something about frogs and Alexander what's his name into the Sex and Shenanigans thread on a porn board. What a wanker.

Honor the award. Display it proudly. You have entered the halls of greatness. Wanker Media Group will be reaching out to your agent about a branding opportunity for their new Light Saber Anal Cauterizer.



View attachment 2344828

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Congrats @UnquietDreams I knew you had it in you.

 

[InThe312]

Nominated for:

1. Only being PoJ for 2 minutes and already changing the company name
2. Favouritism or plain stupidity. @StillRain has been nominated but is missing from the list of nominees
3. Laziness. Previous (and best) PoJ didn’t slack and group nominations
4. Controlling behaviour. Deciding the value of the nominations
5. Annoying me with this shitty half-arsed attempt at a nomination list

Watch him put the best odds on that list. What a fucking wanker!

Like taking candy from a baby.

Nominated for zero understanding of the Panel of Judge's not at all impartial role and clearly the front runner for next week.

And with that, we have a new nomination board for next week:

(Nominee / Money line / Over Under on Total WotWs)
@ToPleaseHim for Dickie / +1000 / 1
@AmberLGreen for being mean / -500 / 1

 

[ydahecnot]

The trophy ain’t Luke’s father!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

The trophy ain’t Luke’s father!

No, it’s his daddy.

 

[StillRain]

(Sudden urge to see dicks with Vader helmets on.)


Wow. Congratulations @UnquietDreams for joining the sticky fingered ranks of the Lit WotW winners! Not only does your name forevermore echo in the ears of history, but you are receipt of a truly hideous original certificate and are the #blessed recipient of this special edition trophy! The coveted Darth Dick. I hope you treasure it and continue on your …

Epic
wanking
journey
through
the
galaxy….​

 

[InThe312]

(Sudden urge to see dicks with Vader helmets on.)

Done

 

[AmberLGreen]

This month’s PoJ is proving just as useless as the March PoJ. Choosing a winner who doesn’t even give an acceptance speech. What a fucking shit show

 

[AmberLGreen]

Nominating @UnquietDreams for not accepting the award in a timely fashion

Bit fucking rude

 

[UnquietDreams]

It's been a short week fellow Litsters. It took us several days and two sheriffs to finally get @Wand3rlust to return the keys to Wanker Central.

Here we are again, the awards ceremony has begun.
























I have stroked and prodded for all the wanky nominations. Scoured the threads for the worst of you all.























I painstakingly reviewed each and every one of your resumes to find the most deserving.


















But wait















There's more















It's May the 4th. Not only does this week's wanker get all the accolades and life achievement that comes with winning the WotW, they're also receiving a 1 of 1, WotW special edition trophy to put on their mantle. Shove up their ass..










You would never have expected it, but this week's wanker exceeded those expectations. Congratulations @UnquietDreams, you received multiple nominations for bringing history and amphibians and something about frogs and Alexander what's his name into the Sex and Shenanigans thread on a porn board. What a wanker.

Honor the award. Display it proudly. You have entered the halls of greatness. Wanker Media Group will be reaching out to your agent about a branding opportunity for their new Light Saber Anal Cauterizer.

View attachment 2344827

View attachment 2344828

Sorry, I am crying. Give me a moment.

I didn't have anything prepared --I was just happy to be nominated. I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I was nominated, I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it. And I can't deny the fact that you wank me. Right now, you wank me!

I shall treasure Dark Helmet here always. May the 4th be with you all.

Thank you.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Nominating @AmberLGreen for not realizing some people work weekends.

 

[lavendersilk]

Nominating @AmberLGreen for not realizing some people work weekends.

I second this... with love.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Nominating @AmberLGreen for not realizing some people work weekends.

Nominated for putting work above this prestigious award

 

[AmberLGreen]

I second this... with love.

Nominated for encouraging others to put work above this prestigious award

 

[UnquietDreams]

Nominated for putting work above this prestigious award

Nominated for looking down on the working Liter.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Nominated for looking down on the working Liter.

Don’t make me nominate you for that error. I am going to sleep now so you have a few hours to correct it

 

[UnquietDreams]

Don’t make me nominate you for that error. I am going to sleep now so you have a few hours to correct it

Nominated for going to sleep rather than nominating me as I deserve.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Nominating everyone today for trying to rush the process or badgering the winner.

 

[lavendersilk]

Don’t make me nominate you for that error. I am going to sleep now so you have a few hours to correct it

Nominated for putting sleep above nominations.

 

[StillRain]

Nominating everyone today for trying to rush the process or badgering the winner.

Nominated for attempting a group nomination.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Nominated for attempting a group nomination.

nominated for attempting to stifle group nominations.

 

[InThe312]

Nominating everyone today for trying to rush the process or badgering the winner.

Nominated for a weak group nomination and not recognizing the panel of judge requires a valid wankering with each nomination.

 

[StillRain]

nominating @esselmont for being so much better than everyone else on Lit

 

[Azuldrgon]

Nominated for a weak group nomination and not recognizing the panel of judge requires a valid wankering with each nomination.

So the idea of everyone wanking over the winner's victory isn't valid?