Sex & Shenanigans

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Seriously, I think a lot of guys don't believe they will get anywhere if they aren't well endowed, so they lie about it. Blame porn for it (you can blame porn for a lot of fucked up ideas about sex). We all have these hang ups (and I have my share. I probably have your share as well) on body images --that dick size, or stretch marks, or imperfect boobs, or extra weight, or lack of weight, or what have you --make you less attractive rather than more. Beauty is in the imperfections, really, after you get past the superficial.

Before I had ever seen porn, I was extremely self conscious of my dick size. It's average, within one standard deviation, etc. But I'm STILL self conscious about it despite the fact I know I'm in the same category as the vast majority of guys.

I genuinely can't imagine what it's like for women.

In and of itself I feel okay about my dick. The rest of me is the problem. Like my midsection. And my shitty personality.

I'm outright fat now, and I'm still more concerned about my dick. Being fat, I've also increased the padding around it, so it is effectively shorter now. I'm so glad I'm finally losing weight.

You don't have a shitty personality. Cunty maybe, but not shitty.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Ok so what is one thing you have lied about in the past … ??

Tell me a story shenanigang

Well, I wasn't the bass player for Screaming Trees... Also, I do not play bass.

Also, I've told the story here about the woman who loved the sound of French but didn't speak it. I told her I did, and used a bunch of my barely remembered junior high French, most of which wouldn't have made any sense. I also tossed in some Middle English, and she didn't notice.

 

[vagrantx]

I told her I did, and used a bunch of my barely remembered junior high French, most of which wouldn't have made any sense.

Voila, mon pasport.
Ah, Gerard Depardieu?
..baguette

 

[BrendaBear]

Well, I wasn't the bass player for Screaming Trees... Also, I do not play bass.

Also, I've told the story here about the woman who loved the sound of French but didn't speak it. I told her I did, and used a bunch of my barely remembered junior high French, most of which wouldn't have made any sense. I also tossed in some Middle English, and she didn't notice.

OMG! I would be laughing so hard if I actually spoke a language that someone was trying to fake... I would probably forgive them for lying just because it would make me laugh so hard.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Voila, mon pasport.
Ah, Gerard Depardieu?
..baguette

My high point was "essence sans plomb uniquement, s'il vous plaît," or "unleaded fuel only, please."

Also "Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote the droghte of March hath perced to the roote and bathed every veyne in swich licóur of which vertú engendred is the flour."

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Before I had ever seen porn, I was extremely self conscious of my dick size. It's average, within one standard deviation, etc. But I'm STILL self conscious about it despite the fact I know I'm in the same category as the vast majority of guys.

I genuinely can't imagine what it's like for women.

I'm outright fat now, and I'm still more concerned about my dick. Being fat, I've also increased the padding around it, so it is effectively shorter now. I'm so glad I'm finally losing weight.

I hear ya, hombre. I'm in the same boat in terms of losing weight. We can do this!

You don't have a shitty personality. Cunty maybe, but not shitty.

Well that's really nice of you to say. Thank you.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I also pretended to like Dave Matthews once because of a girl I liked.

Oh, I can't tell you the number of bands I saw because a girl liked them, so I loved them as well. Turned out well a couple of times, like when I took a girl to see Prince in 84 or 85. Wasn't a fan before the show-- was really a fan after.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Oh, I can't tell you the number of bands I saw because a girl liked them, so I loved them as well. Turned out well a couple of times, like when I took a girl to see Prince in 84 or 85. Wasn't a fan before the show-- was really a fan after.

He's so much more talented than I think most people realize.

 

[UnquietDreams]

He's so much more talented than I think most people realize.

Oh yeah. And at the time I was more into heavy metal and the like, so it wasn't on my horizon. I expanded a lot in my tastes.

 

[Lmizzler]

Thread 'Fun with Friends … Tag a Litster'
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/fun-with-friends-…-tag-a-litster.1609129/


(just shameless promotion of my other thread)


It’s not just a tag @Lmizzler thread yall

And all along I thought this was where I found new candidates for friends.

 

[__Nathan1968]

I also pretended to like Dave Matthews once because of a girl I liked.

I resented Dave Matthews for well over a decade because for several years I kept going to my favorite dive bar/college music venue only to see the sign read “Tonight: Dave Matthews Band”. I wasn’t about to give them my $3 to see some nobody even if it DID come with a coupon for a free burrito . (Virginia liquor laws require a certain percentage of sales be for food, so the door was written off as food sales, whether you took advantage of the free burrito or not).

 

[crazychemgirl]

And all along I thought this was where I found new candidates for friends.

I mean, you can if you want.

Don’t you want us as your friends anymore?

I mean, we only told you 217 times how much we love you.

 

[UnquietDreams]

And all along I thought this was where I found new candidates for friends.

Wait, you take candidates? I am lucky enough if I find people who put up with me...

 

[hotoldrguy]

@crazychemgirl @morelikeasong Looks like Worcester has hit the bigtime!
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/post-apocalyptical-manhattan-downtown-worcester-173241951.html

 

[Amanda330]

And all along I thought this was where I found new candidates for friends.

Send me your friend resume and I'll take a look.

 

[__Nathan1968]

Ok so what is one thing you have lied about in the past … ??

Tell me a story shenanigang

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

Wait….

https://media3.giphy.com/media/l36kU80xPf0ojG0Erg/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d7bxone0dxtdzd4zpgivkvlvbo10b0z09mwyg9302b&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I mean, you can if you want.

Don’t you want us as your friends anymore?

I mean, we only told you 217 times how much we love you.

217 times between 4 or 5 people over what three days?

I think I could do better. Just saying @Lmizzler.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

I mean, you'll need to update your state of residence for tax purposes. And in my line of work, any residence movement is required to be reported to the federal government.

 

[BrendaBear]

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

Well... if you said "No, dudelwhompus, I'm not selling my house and moving to another state. Why would you ask that???" that would be a lie.

But to not mention it until the appropriate time? That's not a lie (in my book).

 

[UnquietDreams]

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

Lie of omission? But depending on your relationship with your boss and work, a reasonable one.

 

[Amanda330]

I’m selling my house and moving out of state. I haven’t told my boss. Is that considered a lie?

No. Doing what you need to do to support yourself is just a smart move. Take care of you because your boss will find a replacement and be ok.

You need to take care of yourself first.

 

[BrendaBear]

217 times between 4 or 5 people over what three days?

I think I could do betters. Just saying @Lmizzler.

4 or 5 people? I'm quite sure it was more than that.

You're just jealous of how cool @Lmizzler is...

No. Wait... that's not it at all... you have no reason to be jealous of anyone... so you're just trying for another spanking!!!
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExdWZrMXVqMW56MzVucWNtZG9obmpzMWVyejRqem96cXEzdnh4MjU0dyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/rwHpCkZRdgRw3vuZoA/giphy.gif

 

[__Nathan1968]

Well... if you said "No, dudelwhompus, I'm not selling my house and moving to another state. Why would you ask that???" that would be a lie.

But to not mention it until the appropriate time? That's not a lie (in my book).

Thank you, Brenda. I appreciate, as always, your sage advice. Also, I’d be grateful if you helped me hide my deceit.

 

[BrendaBear]

Lie of omission? But depending on your relationship with your boss and work, a reasonable one.

So like a "lay of omission" where you don't mention your married?