Sex & Shenanigans

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Ok. I've done cock pockets... I can't be brought into ranching. Lol.

People are gonna think I have a food kink and start sending me gifs of salad dressing...

I can't tell you how much I want you to receive Hidden Valley ranch gifs. That is so fucking ridiculous, yet we all know there's probably someone out there getting their rocks off to some dressing.

OMG, I'm still laughing.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Was the lie saying she was bigger than she was, or smaller?

Bigger. Which I found odd and hilarious, but I kept that part to myself.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

There’s a whole thread about food and sex on here started by @MrsPassion

I know. Though I try hard to forget.

 

[MissLabelled]

I took my punishment like a big boy. A big boy who’s not afraid to cry.

That punishment looked a little light to me.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Being John Malkoranch

 

[BrendaBear]

I don’t understand lying to a potential partner about anything related to your body or personality… it’s not like they aren’t going to find out at some point if you continue courting … and then it just makes the lie even more hurtful.

I have a deep seated hatred of lies... so I won't. Won't lie for me, or for someone else. So if you want to throw a surprise party and I'm supposed to tell the target a lie to get them there? Don't tell me. I don't even want to know.

I've gotten burned by people lying so many times in my life... I guess that's just how some people are... I really don't want to be around them.

As an aside... have you ever noticed that people who lie a lot don't actually believe someone who doesn't? They just seem to think everyone lies constantly to get through life. Weird.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

That punishment looked a little light to me.

I’m nearly positive you don’t need to stoop to this for a spanking.

 

[__Nathan1968]

You know, I've never had a woman lie to me about their dick size.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Being John Malkoranch

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

As an aside... have you ever noticed that people who lie a lot don't actually believe someone who doesn't? They just seem to think everyone lies constantly to get through life. Weird.

Yes, I call her mother.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Changed my tagline. Really wish "My cock is community property" would fit in the tag line space, but it's too long. @OrdinaryPerson knows what I'm talking about right?

 

[LupineOne]

I mean… it might stretch a bit … and elongate..

No doubt about that

Please don’t ruin ranch for me than it already is.

Too late

 

[BrendaBear]

..., but it's too long. ...

Yep. That's what he said.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Yep. That's what he said.

No I didn't, because I'm not a liar.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I mean… it might stretch a bit … and elongate..

Wait!?!? You’re threatening to skin someone else!?!? I’m…I’m….

https://media2.giphy.com/media/k61nOBRRBMxva/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d7gdhd732vlu1d5j8xcm5z7l1updysvsrxxv522plh&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[Nicefella]

One of my coworkers was telling me about his vacation plans to go to Thailand. Nope, not visiting family, hates Thai food, and had no idea what Ayutthaya was.

Dude, you are borderline repulsive as it is...just go away.

Maybe he is there for the Muay Thai training! I visited Bangkok for a week long Muay Thai combat camp made for wanna be fighters with extra cash to throw.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Ok so what is one thing you have lied about in the past … ??

Tell me a story shenanigang

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Please don’t ruin ranch for me than it already is.

Not even going to lie, I think I have more ranch now than before.

Would you prefer Italian?

Yes. You rang?

 

[BrendaBear]

No I didn't, because I'm not a liar.

https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaXNobGVzc2k1cm5oZDdndmZ5dzZ1MXNvaHAxcmxlYXlpbnBzMmZ6aSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/Ss00asoTO18vQSjneh/giphy.gif

 

[UnquietDreams]

I don’t understand lying to a potential partner about anything related to your body or personality… it’s not like they aren’t going to find out at some point if you continue courting … and then it just makes the lie even more hurtful.

Seriously, I think a lot of guys don't believe they will get anywhere if they aren't well endowed, so they lie about it. Blame porn for it (you can blame porn for a lot of fucked up ideas about sex). We all have these hang ups (and I have my share. I probably have your share as well) on body images --that dick size, or stretch marks, or imperfect boobs, or extra weight, or lack of weight, or what have you --make you less attractive rather than more. Beauty is in the imperfections, really, after you get past the superficial.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Ok so what is one thing you have lied about in the past … ??

Tell me a story shenanigang

I'm not that great of a liar. Unless you're a bill collector.

"Who is this? Sorry NRJ can't come to the phone. He's dead."

I also pretended to like Dave Matthews once because of a girl I liked.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I can't tell you how much I want you to receive Hidden Valley ranch gifs. That is so fucking ridiculous, yet we all know there's probably someone out there getting their rocks off to some dressing.

OMG, I'm still laughing.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/l3c5Kcw7NypsdWTPa/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b95217jvyp7j68d6j23t8gispuxqh1wzjw5bwo2bjsbw&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Seriously, I think a lot of guys don't believe they will get anywhere if they aren't well endowed, so they lie about it. Blame porn for it (you can blame porn for a lot of fucked up ideas about sex). We all have these hang ups (and I have my share. I probably have your share as well) on body images --that dick size, or stretch marks, or imperfect boobs, or extra weight, or lack of weight, or what have you --make you less attractive rather than more. Beauty is in the imperfections, really, after you get past the superficial.

In and of itself I feel okay about my dick. The rest of me is the problem. Like my midsection. And my shitty personality.

 

[BrendaBear]

I'm not that great of a liar. Unless you're a bill collector.

"Who is this? Sorry NRJ can't come to the phone. He's dead."

I also pretended to like Dave Matthews once because of a girl I liked.

Oh.... that explains why when they would call for my late wife and I said she was dead, they didn't believe me.
https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExc2hvNW50bW8zcHFrbmc1OWo3c282MGNndGF3ZzZ1YXJsNG84cTN0NSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/c1Q3k4IUdiyMv3pCGT/giphy.gif

 

[UnquietDreams]

Maybe he is there for the Muay Thai training! I visited Bangkok for a week long Muay Thai combat camp made for wanna be fighters with extra cash to throw.

That wasn't it...