Sex & Shenanigans

There are a lot of rumours about me here. Some true, some not true.

Let’s clarify.

1. I’ve never fucked a watermelon.
2 I may have wanked the first time I drove a car because I couldn’t wait.
3. I’m not into pony play.
4. I’ve never given myself a blowjob.
5. I have, however, gotten a blowjob from a vacuum.

 
There are a lot of rumours about me here. Some true, some not true.

Let’s clarify.

1. I’ve never fucked a watermelon.
2 I may have wanked the first time I drove a car (by myself) because I couldn’t wait.
3. I’m not into pony play.
4. I’ve never given myself a blowjob.
5. I have, however, gotten a blowjob from a vacuum.
Given we know number is a dubious claim. We must assume all five claims are dubious.
 
There are a lot of rumours about me here. Some true, some not true.

Let’s clarify.

1. I’ve never fucked a watermelon.
2 I may have wanked the first time I drove a car (by myself) because I couldn’t wait.
3. I’m not into pony play.
4. I’ve never given myself a blowjob.
5. I have, however, gotten a blowjob from a vacuum.
Oh. Well, thank you for the information. I tend to believe everything I read on here so it's good to be aware of the truth. 🤭
 
And he has a hatred for Birkenstocks. Like, an old world hate. The kind of hate that normal takes centuries to manifest.

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Birkenstocks is literally translated as “boner pesticide”.

To be fair, it’s generational hate. My parents hate them. My grandparents. Six generations of hate.


Given we know number is a dubious claim. We must assume all five claims are dubious.

Which number?!?!


Oh. Well, thank you for the information. I tend to believe everything I read on here so it's good to be aware of the truth. 🤭

Yes. It would be a shame if you thought I was a vacuum fucking pony play kind of guy. Nope. Pony play is weird, says this vacuum fucker.

You can now feel safe talking to me without being worried that I’m weird or anything like that.
 
Birkenstocks is literally translated as “boner pesticide”.

To be fair, it’s generational hate. My parents hate them. My grandparents. Six generations of hate.
I like Birkenstocks. Lol. I bought a new rose gold pair for summer
Yes. It would be a shame if you thought I was a vacuum fucking pony play kind of guy. Nope. Pony play is weird, says this vacuum fucker.

You can now feel safe talking to me without being worried that I’m weird or anything like that.
Pony playing vacuum fucker is definitely more fun to say though... Lol
 
I feel like that might not be a nice thing to do... I don't want to be mean towards anyone. And I know we're joking but... still. I'll record something else?
Sure. I thought it was fun. You can say it about me if it makes you feel better 😂

But I totally understand what you're saying.
 
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