Sex & Shenanigans

[Codeman93]

Like come sit it on my face

 

[BrendaBear]

Right?! And the fact that you have to bring your socks with you if you're wearing cute shoes because God forbid you forget and have to put your foot into that nastiness without a foot condom.

And yes... Omg. My aim is so bad. I blame my eyes but I'm just an uncoordinated princess. Lol. And I don't care enough to work on my 'form' for the once in every ten years I step into a bowling alley.

I so loved reading this! I am so horrible at bowling, it is pathetic! I have an aunt and an uncle who have both bowled 300 games (perfect) - brother and sister - me? I doubt I made it to 100 or more.

 

[RaineDrops]

I’ve broken my nails twice so far while trying to throw that damn ball. And I’ve only really bowled 3 times in my life.

 

[Codeman93]

I feel like bowling and golf are the same, both boring and can only be accomplished drunk

 

[Amanda330]

I so loved reading this! I am so horrible at bowling, it is pathetic! I have an aunt and an uncle who have both bowled 300 games (perfect) - brother and sister - me? I doubt I made it to 100 or more.

Omg same. For some reason the way I aim the ball is just totally wrong lol. And then you have to watch everyone be disappointed when you suck, too.

Ugh. Bowling needs to fuck off. Lol

 

[Amanda330]

I’ve broken my nails twice so far while trying to throw that damn ball. And I’ve only really bowled 3 times in my life.

I was just about to make this point. How are women with nails expected to do this without ruining our manicure??

Bowling is sexist...

 

[Codeman93]

I was just about to make this point. How are women with nails expected to do this without ruining our manicure??

Bowling is sexist...

Don’t bowl but sit back and talk all the shit

 

[Amanda330]

Don’t bowl but sit back and talk all the shit

As you can tell I have no problem talking shit

 

[BrendaBear]

I feel like bowling and golf are the same, both boring and can only be accomplished drunk

My dad was really crazy good at bowling, and pretty good at golf. And in all the years I saw him do both, he never, ever, was drinking anything but coffee.

 

[Codeman93]

As you can tell I have no problem talking shit

The absolute best, you’d be the champ though make sure they can handle it cuz if they can’t them fuck em

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Girl, if you put a placard that says “made from Tig’s hooch sauce”, not only will you be affording them the chance to consent, you would have a queue at your table.

Gweneth Paltrow vag-scented candle vibes

The fact that you can't taste it doesn't matter. You fed your bodily fluid to people who weren't aware. That is wrong on so many levels. It's disgusting to me that you are willing to violate unknowing people like that. It's completely fucked up.

Completely fucked up AND still a felony in some states

I'm sorry father, for I have sinned.

Forgive me.

I am glad you stopped saying “daddy, I have been bad..”

I'm not.

 

[Codeman93]

My dad was really crazy good at bowling, and pretty good at golf. And in all the years I saw him do both, he never, ever, was drinking anything but coffee.

Did he like to wood work to??

 

[RaineDrops]

Omg same. For some reason the way I aim the ball is just totally wrong lol. And then you have to watch everyone be disappointed when you suck, too.

Ugh. Bowling needs to fuck off. Lol

While I agree with everything that has been said above including smelly shoes, sweaty holes, hygiene and boredom I admire those who can bowl really well. I of course have neither the desire nor the skill to not suck at it.

 

[Codeman93]

While I agree with everything that has been said above including smelly shoes, sweaty holes, hygiene and boredom I admire those who can bowl really well. I of course have neither the desire nor the skill to not suck at it.

Preach

 

[BrendaBear]

Did he like to wood work to??

No, not at all.

Maybe there is some joke there I am missing… ‘cause, it was my dad…

 

[Codeman93]

No, not at all.

Maybe there is some joke there I am missing… ‘cause, it was my dad…

Low key only said it because my grandfather was good at gold and bowling plus he had a woodworking shop

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Bowling alleys...here, wear these used shoes and put your fingers in these sweaty holes. Heeby-jeebies!
https://media0.giphy.com/media/k2A4gzRxDL4GI/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b95259db1c85sr8q7l7rgdxmg6t6sm8po0b722300zpm&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

And why does everyone think it's so much fun?? It is so boring!

To recap: unhygienic and boring.

And also how am I supposed to look amazing in clown shoes??

I double dog dare you to take just one microbiology class, then come tell me how much beer it takes to be okay bowling

Wearing those nasty shoes means I'm walking on the bottom of my jeans/slacks

foot condom.

. If rather read a trashy novel than work on a sport I didn't want to play in the first place.

You both get me

I have absolutely deadpanned and said I’m busy washing my hair and can’t go.

Alternatively I have have also said I’m going to stay home and read and play on my sex site instead

Dammit, now I’m going to have to check back in with that thread! I think I stopped keeping up with it when foot week started

Ugh, I hate when I realize I’ve been missing out on a favorite thread because I slipped a notification or something.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I feel like bowling and golf are the same, both boring and can only be accomplished drunk

I'm an excellent golf carter

 

[Codeman93]

I'm Nan excellent golf carter

You win golf by having the highest score right?

 

[UnquietDreams]

While I agree with everything that has been said above including smelly shoes, sweaty holes, hygiene and boredom I admire those who can bowl really well. I of course have neither the desire nor the skill to not suck at it.

My kid bowled in high school on the Bowling Team. Voted team captain, went to state three times

Of course, the first thing she did was buy her own shoes, and they were adorable. Bowling alley shoes are ugly so people don't steal them.

 

[BrendaBear]

I'm Nan excellent golf carter

I’ve even screwed that up! Accidentally hit the gas pedal once while some dude was hitting his tee shot.

 

[MindYaBitness]

You win golf by having the highest score right?

That's my understanding!
https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNXE2dWJqZmY1NHhyb3MzaWw0cnY1YzQxcHFiMjNmM3c3MWdobWlpOSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/jQoGsy5BhvUQawtfdx/giphy.gif

 

[Codeman93]

That's my understanding!
https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNXE2dWJqZmY1NHhyb3MzaWw0cnY1YzQxcHFiMjNmM3c3MWdobWlpOSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/jQoGsy5BhvUQawtfdx/giphy.gif

That’s how I play plus 5 strokes for every beer drank highest score wins

 

[MindYaBitness]

I’ve even screwed that up! Accidentally hit the gas pedal once while some dude was hitting his tee shot.

I had the Golf Course Marshall (is that even a real job?) Come by and tell me my cart was too close to the green. I told him that it was all green, so he'd need to be more specific. I still don't know WTF he's talking about.

 

[HeavyBalls]

That’s how I play plus 5 strokes for every beer drank highest score wins

Drink, swear a lot and buy new golf balls or hope to find extras on the way...