What might a woman get wrong when writing from a man’s POV

[8letters]

Yep, yep yep, that's all I do, look at instagram and binge ben n jerrys Best get back to it!

<quietly alt f4's out of the latest Yakuza game>

Okay, what's the female equivalent of this:
Fortnite with KAT, Josh Hart, Larry Nance Jr, & Frank Kaminsky
Four NBA players playing online together.

 

[8letters]

Pubs must be very different in the USA. In the UK they're the places girls go, on a Saturday night, to get laid. I don't know what those other activities are, but I used to play a Corinthian game of rugby on a Saturday afternoon, shower then go off to the pub to drink beer and get laid.

I don't know what a Corinthian game of rugby is, but it sounds like the kind of activity I was talking about.

 

[vagrantx]

Okay, what's the female equivalent of this:
Fortnite with KAT, Josh Hart, Larry Nance Jr, & Frank Kaminsky
Four NBA players playing online together.

I'm not going to watch people I don't know or care about play a game I don't like for 15 minutes... What point are you trying to make with this video? That a couple of friends can play a game together and have fun?

What's the female equivalent? Me and my SO play Tekken over doing the dishes. That's multiplayer fun, ain't it?

I'm confused.

 

[lovecraft68]

Okay, what's the female equivalent of this:
Fortnite with KAT, Josh Hart, Larry Nance Jr, & Frank Kaminsky
Four NBA players playing online together.

Not nearly as many women gamers who play in groups. One, because someone has to take care of the kids or tend to important things while "men" spend hours playing games like teenage losers.

Also, the gaming world is full of assholes who harass women and threaten them in online games.

I was out shoveling on Tuesday and the 8 year old girl next store was outside and asked me if I'd help her build a snowman. I saw her father's car there, and asked where he was. She said she asked him to do it but he said he's playing Call of duty and doesn't have time.

So, I told her I'd be happy to build a snowman with her, and we made one in front of her house, I even went in and got a carrot for his nose to go "old school"

I hope it was a teachable moment to her as to what a father and a man actually is.

 

[8letters]

I'm not going to watch people I don't know or care about play a game I don't like for 15 minutes... What point are you trying to make with this video? That a couple of friends can play a game together and have fun?

What's the female equivalent? Me and my SO play Tekken over doing the dishes. That's multiplayer fun, ain't it?

I'm confused.

Men and women play vastly different games.

A 2017 report by the video game analytics company Quantic Foundry, based on surveys of about 270,000 gamers, found varying proportions of male and female players within different game genres.

My impression is that there are many online communities of mostly men for the various genres that appeal mostly to men, and there isn't an equivalent for women.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My impression is that there are many online communities of mostly men for the various genres that appeal mostly to men, and there isn't an equivalent for women.

Possibly because women can talk to each other over coffee, or sitting next to each other on a bus. Women lean in when talking to a friend, they get close. Most men don't know how to do that, so they play video games.

 

[AG31]

This is my take - it might be very different than other people's:
There are these wonderful very-male worlds that are incredibly enjoyable to spend time in - Online FPS, MMORPG, board games, playing M:TG, drinking beers in a pub, watching football, etc. Those are always calling out to guys. There are two problems with them - #1 they don't lead to getting laid and #2 they don't lead to making the money needed to get laid. So boys are always balancing losing themselves in these enjoyable worlds and doing what it takes to get laid.

I remember hearing or reading some research somewhere that teenage girls lose self-esteem the more time they spend online whereas boys don't. It's because when boys are online, they are in these very-male worlds having very fulfilling and positive interactions with other boys. In contrast, girls are looking at models on Instagram and getting depressed that their bodies don't compare.

This is a fun stereotype. I affirm its use for our enjoyment (see my new post on stereotypes). but, of course, to address the OP's question, it would not be a "mistake" to vividly portray a man who didn't like any of these things.

 

[vagrantx]

.

The study you mention only had 18% of the responders noted as female, not exactly a representative sample. Where was it posted, where did they farm for survey takers? Facebook? Yeah you'll get a lot of candy crush players. What types of people answered it? You best take that data with a generous shoveling of salt. It's almost impossible to garner accurate information from surveys like that.

My personal experience from being a gamer for decades is that even in the male dominated communities, women-centric ones pop up and those aren't usually hard to find. No, we're not as vocal about or hobby as men, because, well, just look at gamer-gate.

 

[TheRedChamber]

My impression is that there are many online communities of mostly men for the various genres that appeal mostly to men, and there isn't an equivalent for women.

My personal experience from being a gamer for decades is that even in the male dominated communities, women-centric ones pop up and those aren't usually hard to find. No, we're not as vocal about or hobby as men, because, well, just look at gamer-gate.

For what it's worth my mother is 70 years old and has been gaming (Skyrim, DragonAge, Assassin's Creed) for about 15 years now, so I'm well aware of the existence of, shall we say, 'non-stereotypical gamers'. Ultimately, if we take the very bottom category, millions of people play FIFA (or FC or whatever they're calling it these days). 2% of millions is still a heck of a lot and it's not hard to imagine that there would be female-centric groups for this or pretty much any game. Whether these statistics are accurate or not, I think it's generally the case that not all genres have a 50-50% split of players, and some skew particularly strongly male. But even then there are usually 'some' women playing (and for a popular game 'some' can have a lot of zeros at the end)

Possibly because women can talk to each other over coffee, or sitting next to each other on a bus. Women lean in when talking to a friend, they get close. Most men don't know how to do that, so they play video games.

What a strange way of putting it. Men socialize in ways they enjoy, which may well involve video games or may involve a couple of drinks down the pub. Maybe women do often get 'closer' - having listened to my wife on the phone with her female friends, my mind is often boggled by how much unnecessary and tedious detail they go into. Men are usually perfectly able to sustain a long conversation with each other when they hit a topic that they both find mutually interesting, we just don't (by and large) like killing time with idle chatter and find something fun to do to center our evening around.

In other words, women don't know how to play video games, so they sit around drinking coffee...

(sorry, couldn't resist, see above)

 

[AG31]

I went back and reviewed the responses to the thread and not a single one answered the OP's question. What might she get wrong? All of those that referenced generalizations about how men behave have to be tossed out because any kind of feeling or behavior can be found among men, just as among women.

As I said up-thread, I think only physical experiences can be gotten "wrong." I was once saved from writing something "wrong" when someone told me that orgasms aren't experienced as originating in the testicles, but, rather in the vicinity of the base of the abdomen. The person who told me phrased it more more clearly, but I can't find it.

Anyway. That's my two cents.

 

[Codoc24]

Women get it wrong on how much it fucking hurts if she accidentally kicks us in the nuts while in bed (hopefully it is accidentally)

 

[XerXesXu]

Women get it wrong on how much it fucking hurts if she accidentally kicks us in the nuts while in bed (hopefully it is accidentally)

And when they take the expression 'jerk-off' too literally.

 

[AG31]

The same thing she'd get wrong writing about women.

If you don't observe what's going on around you, observe people being people, you won't portray convincing characters. Doesn't matter if you're a woman writing about men, or vice versa - write about people.

So my question to you is, did you have a collaborator you could observe when you wrote the tour de force masturbation sequence in Seven Thirty - College Days? I'm sure there's more super stuff to come, but this question was just pressing on my mind.

 

[ElectricBlue]

So my question to you is, did you have a collaborator you could observe when you wrote the tour de force masturbation sequence in Seven Thirty - College Days? I'm sure there's more super stuff to come, but this question was just pressing on my mind.

My fertile imagination, women I know with fertile imaginations and a way with words (not these particular words), and women I've known who have done that with me, or me, them. Plus various rooms in a residential college, for the location and general ambience.

 

[TadOverdon]

Assume that they listen closely or will retain a significant part of what you say. The conversational attention span is different.

 

[Trionyx]

Women get it wrong on how much it fucking hurts if she accidentally kicks us in the nuts while in bed (hopefully it is accidentally)

True. There is one story here by a once-popular author (hasn't written in a few years) in which a main feature of a relationship was when the FMC accidentally kicked the MMC in the crotch. Unless it is a severe masochist, I doubt any male would use such an event as a kernel to build a relationship on.

 

[HordHolm]

What a strange way of putting it. Men socialize in ways they enjoy, which may well involve video games or may involve a couple of drinks down the pub. Maybe women do often get 'closer' - having listened to my wife on the phone with her female friends, my mind is often boggled by how much unnecessary and tedious detail they go into. Men are usually perfectly able to sustain a long conversation with each other when they hit a topic that they both find mutually interesting, we just don't (by and large) like killing time with idle chatter and find something fun to do to center our evening around.

Interestingly, some social anthropology researchers did a study on this for a good (but probably getting a little dated) book called Watching the English. They found, basically by earwigging a ton of conversations in coffee shops, pubs, etc - and what a thrilling job that must have been - that men and woman both spend roughly the same amount of time on 'social conversation,' i.e. gossip, when in that sort of social environment. With both sexes it worked out to around 75% of the total in these environments. They didn't report on what a mixed group looked like.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Interestingly, some social anthropology researchers did a study on this for a good (but probably getting a little dated) book called Watching the English. They found, basically by earwigging a ton of conversations in coffee shops, pubs, etc - and what a thrilling job that must have been - that men and woman both spend roughly the same amount of time on 'social conversation,' i.e. gossip, when in that sort of social environment. With both sexes it worked out to around 75% of the total in these environments. They didn't report on what a mixed group looked like.

Watching the English is a great book, especially for anyone moving to the UK or wanting to understand what the class structure actually means in practice.

IIRC, the conclusion is there's just as much idle chit-chat by both men and women, but the topics are different - men will talk about how gutted Steve was when his team lost last weekend after he'd bet on them, maybe a quick allusion to how Steve's having problems at home. Women will grill Steve's wife about exactly what's happening in their relationship, how often they have sex, is he still getting it up, what did each of them say during their last argument, etc etc...

With lots of variation by individuals, obviously.

 

[HordHolm]

Watching the English is a great book, especially for anyone moving to the UK or wanting to understand what the class structure actually means in practice.

IIRC, the conclusion is there's just as much idle chit-chat by both men and women, but the topics are different - men will talk about how gutted Steve was when his team lost last weekend after he'd bet on them, maybe a quick allusion to how Steve's having problems at home. Women will grill Steve's wife about exactly what's happening in their relationship, how often they have sex, is he still getting it up, what did each of them say during their last argument, etc etc...

With lots of variation by individuals, obviously.

There will also be plenty of para-social stuff too, methinks, with the lads speculating about which players are having dust-ups in training and how that will affect the big match, with their gfs chatting about who Taylor loves/hates this week and why. They won't have any actual knowledge, either group of them, but they will speak with authority.

 

[yowser]

Forgive me @Kumquatqueen but I have to quote from your recent 'Sex Swing Satisfaction' story:

We do the wee nods and raised eyebrows you do to express interest. Conversation? We're men! We don't need that.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

All so, but how many times will a couple of male friends spend an entire hour together, both leaving with the feeling they've passed some quality time? One of them will get home and his SO will ask how things went. Fine. What did you talk about? Mmm, not much. How's his girlfriend's new job working out? We didn't mention her. It's amazing how little they actually say, compared to a couple of ladies in the same position.

Yes, they can argue sports if they're watching it or talk trash, but I do believe they're not nearly as dependent on talking as women are. Not better or worse, but different.

 

[Elayne_Hawke]

What might a woman get wrong when writing from a man’s POV?​

Everything. Just everything. Women simply don't understand us.

I don't buy that. I think a woman can write from a man's pov just fine. Not sure if anyone's familiar with the Kings Dark Tidings series by Kel Kade. She did a fantastic job of writing from a males pov.

For me as a new female writer who's doing a story from a male's pov I look forward to seeing what people think. As a female it be too easy to write a story from a woman's pov, I wanted the challenge, that and I prefer reading stories that way.

But hey I'm just one female in the throng of the masses. My opinion is mine alone.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Elayne - I fully agree, but I suspect MrP was being a wee bit humourous. He does that from time to time.

I’ve said it elsewhere, but I get a bit miffed when somebody says, for instance, men can’t write female characters because they don’t know what being female is like (or vice versa). And whites cannot write Blacks or asians and straight folks can’t write gays and on and on. You wind up being permitted to publish only your own diary, and even then be prepared for flaming. How foolish! Do the best you can, listen to the others and be respectful.

Good luck.

 

[MrPixel]

I don't buy that. I think a woman can write from a man's pov just fine. Not sure if anyone's familiar with the Kings Dark Tidings series by Kel Kade. She did a fantastic job of writing from a males pov.

For me as a new female writer who's doing a story from a male's pov I look forward to seeing what people think. As a female it be too easy to write a story from a woman's pov, I wanted the challenge, that and I prefer reading stories that way.

But hey I'm just one female in the throng of the masses. My opinion is mine alone.

Uhhh... that was supposed to be a funny, a reverse take on the old trope, "He just doesn't understand women."

But that's OK, you'll adjust to the warped senses of humor around here sooner or later.

 

[Elayne_Hawke]

Uhhh... that was supposed to be a funny, a reverse take on the old trope, "He just doesn't understand women."

But that's OK, you'll adjust to the warped senses of humor around here sooner or later.

Blushes, Lol, my bad. But thank you for letting me know.