Sex & Shenanigans

[Azuldrgon]

The pics or the fruits?

the fruits.
I never got to see the pics or vids.

 

[Wand3rlust]

So, in high school, my friends and I were carpooling to school and there was a story on the radio about a guy who was arrested for drunkenly having his way with pumpkins in a patch. As it was all-round Halloween, 3 of the 4 of us in the car decided to prank the other guy by buying pumpkins, cutting holes in them and spraying them inside and around the hole with whipped cream. We snuck them to his house and left them in front of his door. He had some weird explaining to do to his parents the next morning

There was a comedian in the UK who did a podcast. He talked about fucking pumpkins They called them cumkins. I've never been able to think of them as anything else since..

 

[Nicefella]

Please don’t teabag the cucumbers

Fine - so I was wearing those uncomfortably short jogging shorts you see white men in their 30s prepping for their “half marathons” wear.

Don’t we fucking wash vegetables any more?

 

[Nicefella]

He did ask her to take pics and vids of her doing things.
They were disposed of after.

The boyfriend’s body

 

[Lord Pmann]

So, in high school, my friends and I were carpooling to school and there was a story on the radio about a guy who was arrested for drunkenly having his way with pumpkins in a patch.

No one probably even considered what those pumpkins were wearing. They were just asking for it.

 

[dawn_of_night]

The pics or the fruits?

If you're old enough to have known me for that long there used to be pics.... Probably long lost by now....

 

[Lord Pmann]

the fruits.
I never got to see the pics or vids.

I did not dispose of the videos, for the record.

 

[Nicefella]

No one probably even considered what those pumpkins were wearing. They were just asking for it.

Stop slut shaming those poor pumpkins, you vegosgynst

 

[morelikeasong]

No one probably even considered what those pumpkins were wearing. They were just asking for it.

 

[BrendaBear]

the fruits.
I never got to see the pics or vids.

That doesn’t seem fair... But what do I know… (nothin’)

 

[Lord Pmann]

View attachment 2316386

Exactly. I mean, how could anyone with a working dick (sorry @Mr_bogey) resist that?

 

[MindYaBitness]

There was a comedian in the UK who did a podcast. He talked about fucking pumpkins They called them cumkins. I've never been able to think of them as anything else since..

I need to know exactly how one goes about fucking a pumpkin. I mean, do you pop a hole in the top, bottom, side? Do you hollow it out? Warm it up? And what kind of messed cretin looks at a gourd and thinks to themselves, "ya, I should fuck that"

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I still think the male body does not contain enough blood for both heads so once the lower one is engaged, logic processing is a hit and miss affair.

Just my theory, you understand.

This is accepted theory and has been confirmed by multiple sources, 1 just today!

Yesssss … I’m so glad someone else thought of this song …


I normally just think of @Mr_bogey and his old balls

Lmfao … don’t lie, you’re thought about his balls at least once

I think @Mr_bogey likes it when the ladies are thinking about his balls.

How…how much do you think about his balls? :x

 

[Azuldrgon]

That doesn’t seem fair... But what do I know… (nothin’)

It wasn't.

It's caused some issues.

 

[morelikeasong]

Exactly. I mean, how could anyone with a working dick (sorry @Mr_bogey) resist that?

And by the end of the night…

 

[SherlockianMan]

See below.... We live in the mild of the Midwest... All the free cuc_idos and zuch_members a girl can have.... And the sizes... Oh my word... mmm
Sorry. Not. Sorry.

As a fellow Midwestern with family who garden, can confirm

 

[SherlockianMan]

And by the end of the night…

View attachment 2316388

I don't know looks bleached to me. Not their first rodeo

 

[hotoldrguy]

The grapes where in my mouth.... For his pleasures....
Not love tunnel... Lol
I was a poor college grad.... I can't believe y'all have never....

I had never heard of that before

 

[LupineOne]

There was a comedian in the UK who did a podcast. He talked about fucking pumpkins They called them cumkins. I've never been able to think of them as anything else since..

Goddamn you. Even “pump”kin has that connotation now….

 

[MindYaBitness]

There was a comedian in the UK who did a podcast. He talked about fucking pumpkins They called them cumkins. I've never been able to think of them as anything else since..

Goddamn you. Even “pump”kin has that connotation now….

I knew this rang a bell! My friend got me this book 15ish years ago as a joke for my birthday. There are complete directions in here on how to make your favorite pumpkin or cantalope into your special, if perishable, fuck buddy
https://a.co/d/d5yWULU

 

[SherlockianMan]

When Snoop said he'd "be up in those guts like everyday" I never suspected it might be pumpkin guts

 

[Taegul]

Oh FFS… you eat pineapple to make your semen taste better. You don’t fuck it. You fuck a watermelon. We’ve been through this, people.

I'd expect better than to be kink shamed by a Hoover whore!

https://images.hotukdeals.com/threads/raw/default/3589190_2/re/1024x1024/qt/60/3589190_2.jpg

Just look at the lust in those eyes, eh Pmann?

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'd expect better than to be kink shamed by a Hoover whore!

https://images.hotukdeals.com/threads/raw/default/3589190_2/re/1024x1024/qt/60/3589190_2.jpg

Just look at the lust in those eyes, eh Pmann?

Henry? No thanks. Henrietta… I’m listening.

 

[Bry1313]

@crazychemgirl doesn’t ponder your balls? But she referenced them earlier.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Who here has actually used a fruit or vegetable on their genitals or someone else’s? Any of the guys getting grapefruit blowjobs? Girls banging cucumbers?

NMK.

Paging @Lord Pmann