Lil_Jenni's Adventures, Past and Present...

[lil_jenni]

sorry for being rude. I was upset but not at you.

No worries.

 

[Lorelei907]

They're still a little awkward. But we've gone from talking about what it's like for two women to have sex to talking about what I'd do to her and what she could do to me. She's still much more passive/reactive when we sext, but yesterday she did get more into an active role for a bit. Baby steps.

Sounds like a great development!

 

[lil_jenni]

Sounds like a great development!

Yeppers.

Still baby steps for now, but she was a lot more actively participating last time we sexted.

 

[lil_jenni]

So, after sex with Hubby last night, I confessed that I was worried about losing my sex drive after the hopeful pregnancy (and nope, not pregnant yet... my monthly is here... boo... ). Last time, it took about a year to get it back. I told him I'm afraid if it goes again it might not ever come back, because I hear about all the men on here with sexless marriages because their wives lost interest. I don't want that for him.

Of course, he took my concerns seriously but also tried to reassure me. As he pointed out, last time I still had a sex drive (we had some form of sex at least twice a week during that time), it was just different for that year. And it was. I almost always initiate sex, and for that year he did it much more often. I rarely said no, but I was not driving things, and I only got interested as things got started. I very rarely had that need to have sex I had before the Kiddo was born and that I didn't get back until a year after. What if I get pregnant, and this time I never get it back after the kid is born?

Anyway, Hubby helped with my anxiety and I managed to finally fall asleep, but it's been nagging at me this morning still. I know I'm worrying about something that likely will never come to pass, but that's how it is with my anxiety some days.

 

[Lorelei907]

Yeppers.

Still baby steps for now, but she was a lot more actively participating last time we sexted.

getting closer to the meetup!

 

[Lorelei907]

So, after sex with Hubby last night, I confessed that I was worried about losing my sex drive after the hopeful pregnancy (and nope, not pregnant yet... my monthly is here... boo... ). Last time, it took about a year to get it back. I told him I'm afraid if it goes again it might not ever come back, because I hear about all the men on here with sexless marriages because their wives lost interest. I don't want that for him.

Of course, he took my concerns seriously but also tried to reassure me. As he pointed out, last time I still had a sex drive (we had some form of sex at least twice a week during that time), it was just different for that year. And it was. I almost always initiate sex, and for that year he did it much more often. I rarely said no, but I was not driving things, and I only got interested as things got started. I very rarely had that need to have sex I had before the Kiddo was born and that I didn't get back until a year after. What if I get pregnant, and this time I never get it back after the kid is born?

Anyway, Hubby helped with my anxiety and I managed to finally fall asleep, but it's been nagging at me this morning still. I know I'm worrying about something that likely will never come to pass, but that's how it is with my anxiety some days.

It’s a pity that people lose their sex drives (guys too, ya know) and their SO still has the need. I’ve talked to a lot of guys here in that situation and I feel sorry for them.

Jenni, Honey, I get the feeling you’ll never be that way.

 

[lil_jenni]

It’s a pity that people lose their sex drives (guys too, ya know) and their SO still has the need. I’ve talked to a lot of guys here in that situation and I feel sorry for them.

Jenni, Honey, I get the feeling you’ll never be that way.

You are probably right, but sometimes I get a worry in my head and can't get it out...

 

[Lorelei907]

You are probably right, but sometimes I get a worry in my head and can't get it out...

To be honest, so do I. I love sex and can’t imagine losing interest in it. But keep in mind there are older men and women here on Lit who are still active. Gives me hope.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

So, after sex with Hubby last night, I confessed that I was worried about losing my sex drive after the hopeful pregnancy (and nope, not pregnant yet... my monthly is here... boo... ). Last time, it took about a year to get it back. I told him I'm afraid if it goes again it might not ever come back, because I hear about all the men on here with sexless marriages because their wives lost interest. I don't want that for him.

Of course, he took my concerns seriously but also tried to reassure me. As he pointed out, last time I still had a sex drive (we had some form of sex at least twice a week during that time), it was just different for that year. And it was. I almost always initiate sex, and for that year he did it much more often. I rarely said no, but I was not driving things, and I only got interested as things got started. I very rarely had that need to have sex I had before the Kiddo was born and that I didn't get back until a year after. What if I get pregnant, and this time I never get it back after the kid is born?

Anyway, Hubby helped with my anxiety and I managed to finally fall asleep, but it's been nagging at me this morning still. I know I'm worrying about something that likely will never come to pass, but that's how it is with my anxiety some days.

The fact that you’re worried about this, and had the guts to share these worries with your husband just makes you an even more wonderful person. You’re deeply empathetic and that comes through very clear in your writing.

I’m glad your husband was able to reduce your anxiety, and if it makes you feel better in my opinion you are already taking the right steps which is to talk to your loved one and admit your concerns to them and yourself. In my experience those are the most important steps and the ones that are the hardest. Nobody knows what will happen in the future but being aware of the possible problems and being prepared is always worthwhile.

A good example of this is postpartum depression, this affects so many mothers and taking action before the birth (through treatment) can make a massive difference in how deep the depression is after the birth and how quickly it can be treated.
.
This concern is obviously a different thing but I would suggest it’s closely related and the same techniques can be applied, have a plan, talk openly, work on your chemical balances and remind yourself often that you’re loved and you’re not alone.

Good luck.

 

[lil_jenni]

I think pregnancy watch may still be on for this month. I started spotting last night, but today I had a very intense masturbation session after work and no trace of blood. So... maybe it was just spotting. We'll see...

 

[lil_jenni]

Sorry I haven't posted recently. My dad had a mild heart attack, so I've been visiting him. He's getting better everyday. It was scary at first, though, partially because it took almost six hours to get back there to see him, and because of how he looked when I did—I've neve seen my dad look weak before.

It happened on a job site, and his guys rushed him to the hospital in the back of a pickup. I asked why he didn't wait for the ambulance, and he said it seemed fitting to go that way. I'm not sure he meant go to the hospital. Fuck. It's been a rough several days. But hey, like him, I'm doing better... except when I think what he meant by "go that way..."

 

[lil_jenni]

So, my mom and I went to lunch at a restaurant near the hospital my dad's at. The waitress was a woman I went to high school with (yeah, it's not a big town... ). She didn't recognize me at first, then got rather grumpy when she did. I tried to be nice and ask her about her life. Turns out, she married a guy we both knew. Considering I'd blown the guy twice (at parties) back before I left for college, my guess is that he must have let that information slip at some point over the years. So, I pretended not to know who she meant. If didn't help her mood.

I sometimes think where I live now is kinda like a small town in some ways, but being back in one for a bit makes me appreciate that where I live is really not one.

 

[ShaneoD]

So, my mom and I went to lunch at a restaurant near the hospital my dad's at. The waitress was a woman I went to high school with (yeah, it's not a big town... ). She didn't recognize me at first, then got rather grumpy when she did. I tried to be nice and ask her about her life. Turns out, she married a guy we both knew. Considering I'd blown the guy twice (at parties) back before I left for college, my guess is that he must have let that information slip at some point over the years. So, I pretended not to know who she meant. If didn't help her mood.

I sometimes think where I live now is kinda like a small town in some ways, but being back in one for a bit makes me appreciate that where I live is really not one.

It's not your fault you have her husband the best blowjob he's ever had and that he told his wife hoping she could at least match it, and judging by her attitude failed miserably

 

[lil_jenni]

It's not your fault you have her husband the best blowjob he's ever had and that he told his wife hoping she could at least match it, and judging by her attitude failed miserably

I actually thought that same thing, but then tried to talk myself out of being so conceited...

 

[ShaneoD]

I actually thought that same thing, but then tried to talk myself out of being so conceited...

Everyone's got that one special person, if he's anything like me his face gave him away while he was talking about you, that or she caught him "reminiscing" shortly afterward

 

[lil_jenni]

Everyone's got that one special person, if he's anything like me his face gave him away while he was talking about you, that or she caught him "reminiscing" shortly afterward.

They were just party hook ups, and I wasn't as good back then... but if I remember right, he did say I was the first person to ever do that for him. I could be misremembering, however. There were more than a few similar hookups back then. On the other hand, not many repeat performances, and I think it was in the second BJ that he told me the first had been his first. It's all hazy... it was almost twenty years ago and I was probably drunk both times...

 

[ShaneoD]

They were just party hook ups, and I wasn't as good back then... but if I remember right, he did say I was the first person to ever do that for him. I could be misremembering, however. There were more than a few similar hookups back then. On the other hand, not many repeat performances, and I think it was in the second BJ that he told me the first had been his first. It's all hazy... it was almost twenty years ago and I was probably drunk both times...

And yet he remembers enough for his wife to have that reaction, take it for the compliment it is

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Sorry I haven't posted recently. My dad had a mild heart attack, so I've been visiting him. He's getting better everyday. It was scary at first, though, partially because it took almost six hours to get back there to see him, and because of how he looked when I did—I've neve seen my dad look weak before.

It happened on a job site, and his guys rushed him to the hospital in the back of a pickup. I asked why he didn't wait for the ambulance, and he said it seemed fitting to go that way. I'm not sure he meant go to the hospital. Fuck. It's been a rough several days. But hey, like him, I'm doing better... except when I think what he meant by "go that way..."

Sorry to hear this, that’s really rough. I’m sure it meant the world to him that you got there when you did. It’s a jarring moment when you’re faced with your parents mortality.

 

[lil_jenni]

And yet he remembers enough for his wife to have that reaction, take it for the compliment it is

They may let Dad out of the hospital today, so Mom's been at their home getting stuff ready and the doctors have had Dad out of the room for a bunch of tests before they release him. Anyway, I've been bored and started some online sleuthing (meaning I contacted some old friends and acquaintances). It seems the truth about why the waitress I used to know was not happy to see me is much more complicated than I suspected. I thought she must know I blew her husband a couple of times long before he was her husband, like I said yesterday. Well... she either doesn't know that or hasn't told anyone else she knows it (at least no one mentioned it when I asked what her issue with me is). But a couple were not at all hesitant to tell me that I'd fucked her then boyfriend a week or so before I left for college. The thing is, I don't remember it that way. My memory is that he and I were both drunk at a party and he had broken up with her, so we hooked up. I hadn't thought about that in years. I didn't even remember it yesterday when I was trying to figure out why she seems to hate me.

Anyway, she evidently harbors a grudge over that long ago (ex)boyfriend. And like I said, no one mentioned anything about me and her husband. I'm thinking she's doesn't know about that.

 

[lil_jenni]

Sorry to hear this, that’s really rough. I’m sure it meant the world to him that you got there when you did. It’s a jarring moment when you’re faced with your parents mortality.

Thank you for your post. And yes, it has certainly been jarring. But he may be going home today, which is my birthday. I thought it was going to be a pretty bad one since Dad's in the hospital and Hubby and the Kiddo are almost 400 miles away, but Dad going home would be the best present I can think of.

 

[ShaneoD]

They may let Dad out of the hospital today, so Mom's been at their home getting stuff ready and the doctors have had Dad out of the room for a bunch of tests before they release him. Anyway, I've been bored and started some online sleuthing (meaning I contacted some old friends and acquaintances). It seems the truth about why the waitress I used to know was not happy to see me is much more complicated than I suspected. I thought she must know I blew her husband a couple of times long before he was her husband, like I said yesterday. Well... she either doesn't know that or hasn't told anyone else she knows it (at least no one mentioned it when I asked what her issue with me is). But a couple were not at all hesitant to tell me that I'd fucked her then boyfriend a week or so before I left for college. The thing is, I don't remember it that way. My memory is that he and I were both drunk at a party and he had broken up with her, so we hooked up. I hadn't thought about that in years. I didn't even remember it yesterday when I was trying to figure out why she seems to hate me.

Anyway, she evidently harbors a grudge over that long ago (ex)boyfriend. And like I said, no one mentioned anything about me and her husband. I'm thinking she's doesn't know about that.

Damn ex boyfriend lying his way into the sack with you maybe.

I'm glad to hear that your dad seems to be on his way to getting home.

 

[lil_jenni]

Shit... I forgot to update on pregnancy watch. I'm not.

And to make it worse, I'm going into being fertile but Hubby is so far away...

 

[lil_jenni]

Damn ex boyfriend lying his way into the sack with you maybe.

That's certainly possible.

 

[ShaneoD]

That's certainly possible.

That would be my best guess, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you might be far more attractive than the waitress too.

 

[lil_jenni]

That would be my best guess, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you might be far more attractive than the waitress too.

Oh, I don't know about that. She had a great rack back then, and she was cute too. I was actually kind of jealous of her body. But now... How do I say this without being a bitch? The years have been kinder to me.