Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[Rustyoznail]

Which wood should you use to tee off at a par 4 hole?

A stiff shaft will give you the best drive to the hole.

Will it rain tomorrow?

 

[AlinaX]

Yes it will, a golden rain, and not just tomorrow but every day that you kneel at my feet...

What is the price of gold?

 

[Rustyoznail]

What is the price of gold?

It's priceless, when I'm kneeling at your feet.

Do you like mashed potatoes?

 

[AlinaX]

It's priceless, when I'm kneeling at your feet.

Do you like mashed potatoes?

lol - see A Lively Tale Indeed

How do you drink coffee?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

lol - see A Lively Tale Indeed

How do you drink coffee?

I usually have it without cream, but they were out of cream today, so the waitress asked me if I'd have it without milk instead.
(If you don't care for the old Sartre's Being and Nothingness joke, I'll try this one: "I prefer a latte. sweetened with labial juice - it's mostly fructose and glucose, you know - and mixed half and half with warm - let's say body temperature - human breast milk." Personally, I like the Sartre joke, but it's not filthy. Maybe he should have done something naughty with the waitress.)

What should never be done on a Sunday?

 

[AlinaX]

I have learned that vibrating buttplugs should not be worn to church on a Sunday, and especially not if it's the priest who has the remote.

Why do priests wear collars?

 

[lanceGibs]

I have learned that vibrating buttplugs should not be worn to church on a Sunday, and especially not if it's the priest who has the remote.

Why do priests wear collars?

So that the more dominant nuns don't start claiming ownership and limit their fun.

Why is sex in church taboo for some?

 

[Bamagan]

Because the pews rock a lot when you fuck on them, which makes the bibles thump.

Then what is the altar for?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Because the pews rock a lot when you fuck on them, which makes the bibles thump.

Then what is the altar for?

To use instead of the pews, because they rock a lot...

Why do the English drink warm beer?

 

[AlinaX]

When the spirit ails, there's nothing like a warm beer after a hot fuck.

Why are the English?

 

[Bamagan]

When the spirit ails, there's nothing like a warm beer after a hot fuck.

Why are the English?

Prima nocte, according to this movie I saw.

Who let the dogs out?

 

[MargotPayge]

Who let the dogs out?

They got out when I let the girls out.

How long is the Mississippi?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

They got out when I let the girls out.

How long is the Mississippi?

Well, if the misses sip pee, it could take as long as 3.1417 hours.

Does a full moon drive men crazy?

 

[AlinaX]

It does when I walk naked through the night.

White meat or dark?

 

[Winter_Fare]

I'm hungry for both, and there's plenty of gravy to go around.

What comes last?

 

[MargotPayge]

I'm hungry for both, and there's plenty of gravy to go around.

What comes last?

The octopus in a tentacle orgy.

What will happen to the sun eventually?

 

[Bamagan]

The octopus in a tentacle orgy.

What will happen to the sun eventually?

It'll get red and bloated and swallow everyone it's closest to... kind of like an aging hooker.

Who broke the news to Pluto about its demotion?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Minnie, but she offered him a consolation suck 'n' fuck.

Will NASA send a probe to Uranus?

 

[Treeview]

Will NASA send a probe to Uranus?

Working name of the mission...for now...Deep Space Probe

Will it be a manned or womaned mission?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Working name of the mission...for now...Deep Space Probe

Will it be a manned or womaned mission?

Federal diversity protocols will be in force, but Irish birth control will be mandatory for cross-sex activities.

Why was Project Mohole abandoned?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Federal diversity protocols will be in force, but Irish birth control will be mandatory for cross-sex activities.

Why was Project Mohole abandoned?

Can you believe it was because of impropriety at the highest levels of government? Unheard of! And please pass me a cigar.

Beef or the chicken?

 

[AlinaX]

Chicken most days, but I do like a bit of beef on a Sunday - preferably before dinner.

Red or white?

 

[MargotPayge]

Red or white?

Depends on the meat.

Ballerina or Gymnast?

 

[Bamagan]

Depends on the meat.

Ballerina or Gymnast?

Sequentially rather than concurrently, preferably; they're so limber I worried about limbs getting knotted.

What month are you most like and why?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Tongs obviously... for nipple play. Duh!