Sex & Shenanigans

[Bbl87]

Oh my! I've tooted before during sex. Does that count?

That's happened many a time here, both sides. When its me, I just say I was using afterburners.

I've talked about it before, but there was a short stretch where I had orgasm induced thunderclap headaches. The first time it happened we thought I was having a stroke, to the point she was about to dial 911. It was scary; my vision went completely white, worst headache of my life. But we were trying for our first at the time so I wasn't backing down, haha. 2nd one was almost as bad, but they gradually reduced in intensity and went away. I've never been so afraid to cum in my life. Scary at the time but I do chuckle about my subsequent fear of orgasms looking back on it.

Then there's always the ol' queef. In the right position and if she got enough air, it was louder than either of us have ever farted in our lives. Don't know of it was for anatomical reasons or what, but we had to stop because we were laughing so hard.

 

[MrsPassion]

But was there a Second visit???

Oh no…there’s no coming back from a cum snot rocket and choking on cum while laughing I’m sure I’m just a cautionary tale he tells round the campfire now

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Oh no…there’s no coming back from a cum snot rocket and choking on cum while laughing I’m sure I’m just a cautionary tale he tells round the campfire now

Is it just me or does cum smells like bleach?
You should be an expert since you've had it up your nose

 

[Bbl87]

OH, and I forgot this one... I shared it in another thread so just copied and pasted it.

Was getting head from an ex (at the time, we were friends with benefits). She is a blowjob queen. Enthusiastic, just the right amount of that dirty look in here eyes, not gag reflex to speak of... anyway, enough reminiscing, back to to the story.

So, we were young enough we both still lived at home. Her parents were gone for awhile so she was giving me head in the living room. I tell her I'm about to cum, she goes to deepthroat me. I came a little quicker than she expected, my cock was up against the roof of her mouth when I started and she got the first rope right up into her sinuses. Like the trooper she is, she continued to deepthroat and took the rest. She comes up and goes, "gah, some went up my nose!" She tries to clear it out between coughing and blowing her nose, but can't get all of it.

Long story short, her parents come home. She sounds a little congested, reason being obvious. Her mom comments on how it seems like she's coming down with something. When her mom isn't looking, I mouth to her "or went down on something," she flips me off. Every time she blew her nose that night it was my cum that she was getting out. I felt bad for her, but afterward we both looked back and found it funny as hell.

 

[Saltfountain]

Is it just me or does cum smells like bleach?
You should be an expert since you've had it up your nose

I've had it out of my cock, and I'm telling you it doesn't...

 

[MrsPassion]

Is it just me or does cum smells like bleach?
You should be an expert since you've had it up your nose

Dare I say it was a nutty aroma?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I've had it out of my cock, and I'm telling you it doesn't...

What does yours smell like?

 

[Pantyboy74]

Ok because I need all the laughs today … please share with me your most embarrassing sexual encounter.

I’ll start it off totally honest and brutal so that hopefully others will follow.

I learned the hard way that the butt is a vacuum and there’s a reason you don’t use vibes without a stopper for bum play

Ok my personal most embarrassing encounter.

A girl I was with were "experimenting".
I'll say that alcohol, inexperience, a dildo and no lube... ended the night with me dancing around the room on my tiptoes with an extremely shocked look on my face.

 

[Saltfountain]

Is it just me or does cum smells like bleach?
You should be an expert since you've had it up your nose

I've had it out of my cock, and I'm telling you it doesn't...

Unless...

Are you slowly poisoning your husband?

 

[Saltfountain]

What does yours smell like?

Good question. I couldn't really place the smell of cum, except that it smells like cum

But I know what bleach smells like, and it's definitely not that...

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I once got the hiccups after giving a particularly messy blowjob. Like immediately after. So in an effort not to choke on…my mouthful I tried to swallow in between hiccups. Buuuut in trying to time my swallowing perfectly I swallowed right as I hiccuped and forced cum outta my nose

There you go

Hahaha daaaaaamn! I was with a girl who gave me the best blowjob ever. Like down on all fours, straight up fucking her mouth. She pumped away until she totally drained me. It was glorious.

Until she had to spit it out. She's got a mouthful of my cum and she's suddenly and quickly looking around for a trashcan or kleenex to spit into. It was kinda funny and we laughed, and she really was wonderful and beautiful and one that got away, but later I kinda jokingly thought "Does my cum taste THAT bad??"

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I get way more excited than I should about cruel and unusual punishments...oooo new ideas

nmk, but I love this anyway

It all depends on how you define cruel and unusual punishment. Mine involves a lot of anticipation, teasing, and multiples

Not up anyone’s ass lately.

I have ideas on how to remedy that unfortunate situation

 

[Bry1313]

It all depends on how you define cruel and unusual punishment. Mine involves a lot of anticipation, teasing, and multiples

That sounds more like rewards.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Not my most embrassing but just kinda funny. A good fuck will start my period sometimes. Not a lot, just a bit when it first starts so no big deal. Except one time i was bent over the bed and as we are going at it, he says hey i think your period started. Okay, whatever, we keep going. A few minutes later hes says something like.... i cant, we need to stop. He runs off to get things to clean up and I dont have my glasses on and Im like... whats the big deal? Then i put my glasses on and omg it was like a Dexter murder happened all over my floor.

 

[MrsPassion]

Hahaha daaaaaamn! I was with a girl who gave me the best blowjob ever. Like down on all fours, straight up fucking her mouth. She pumped away until she totally drained me. It was glorious.

Until she had to spit it out. She's got a mouthful of my cum and she's suddenly and quickly looking around for a trashcan or kleenex to spit into. It was kinda funny and we laughed, and she really was wonderful and beautiful and one that got away, but later I kinda jokingly thought "Does my cum taste THAT bad??"

I’m sure you taste like sunshine and lollipops
I get swallowing isn’t for everyone but frantically looking around for somewhere to spit is a hilarious mental image

 

[Bbl87]

but later I kinda jokingly thought "Does my cum taste THAT bad??"

My wife has always said it's not so much the taste as the texture that bothers her. Actually said mine started tasting better after I was put on blood pressure meds. Positive side effect I guess?

My ex would deepthroat it as I came, and take it all down her throat, bypassing taste and texture altogether. Looked and felt awesome too, haha. I do miss that sometimes...

 

[MrsPassion]

Not my most embrassing but just kinda funny. A good fuck will start my period sometimes. Not a lot, just a bit when it first starts so no big deal. Except one time i was bent over the bed and as we are going at it, he says hey i think your period started. Okay, whatever, we keep going. A few minutes later hes says something like.... i cant, we need to stop. He runs off to get things to clean up and I dont have my glasses on and Im like... whats the big deal? Then i put my glasses on and omg it was like a Dexter murder happened all over my floor.

Good ol’ Redrum sex
I’ve totally had something similar happen

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

You didn’t do it while someone was going down on you did you?

Nope.

A queef?

Nope.

 

[jason28053]

Is it just me or does cum smells like bleach?
You should be an expert since you've had it up your nose

Mine does

 

[MrsPassion]

Mine does

Drink some water Gawddamit!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Oh you guys have made my day!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Mine does

I wonder if different guys smell different. Like maybe some smell like bleach and some dont. I dont remember what anyone else smells like.

 

[base10]

It all depends on how you define cruel and unusual punishment. Mine involves a lot of anticipation, teasing, and multiples


I have ideas on how to remedy that unfortunate situation

Yes yes and yes, but I’d like to add some spanks and maybe a nipple clamp

 

[jason28053]

I wonder if different guys smell different. Like maybe some smell like bleach and some dont. I dont remember what anyone else smells like.

I don’t know about any others. Let’s ask an expert @JerseyJade

 

[MrsPassion]

My wife has always said it's not so much the taste as the texture that bothers her.

I’ve heard this from friends and I’ve never understood it I can think of 10 things to have in your mouth that are a worse taste and texture.

Maybe I’m the odd one out, who has a fondness for it