Sex & Shenanigans

[Bbl87]

Now you're going to make me find some fun comparisons...

First one, overall fluid volume is slightly more than a can of Fritos dip.

View attachment 2251269

Or, .83 oz more than the standard 8.4 oz Red Bull can... I need to find more ridiculous things though... I'll probably just stop there.

https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/c564b05e-8dfa-47fa-90d2-cba6fa05b9bb.9ff03b501a3f744f57f05cd190b7973a.jpeg

 

[Mr_bogey]

Women.., a very smart man once pointed out how every woman is very different in terms of pleasure … (compared to men, where it’s usually pretty similar)…

Did you just call me very smart?

Did you (or do you) ever get tired of having to “teach” each new man how to pleasure you?

Like.. he’s going down on you and you’ve got traffic flags… a little left, a little right, slow down, speed up.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Women.., a very smart man once pointed out how every woman is very different in terms of pleasure … (compared to men, where it’s usually pretty similar)…

Did you (or do you) ever get tired of having to “teach” each new man how to pleasure you?

Like.. he’s going down on you and you’ve got traffic flags… a little left, a little right, slow down, speed up.

I've only ever been with my husband and have had to psych myself up to tell him what I like. Stupid Baptist upbringing. lol

What do you have against stick figures. I'm sure @Lord Pmann would be interested to know.

They're a cop out.

 

[crazychemgirl]

It is as long as a Dr. Seuss' green eggs and ham.
It has the girth of War and Peace.
And the sounds of angels can be heard when orgasm has been achieved.

Oh good lord … eye roll for DAYS!!!!

 

[lakesailer_mi]

So far this is the top contender

I cannot argue with that, I literally laughed out loud.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Men … I wanted descriptions like:

My cock is as long as the swallow flies in a backdraft and as wide as an unburdened lizard sunning itself on a rock

 

[macster3951]

Oh good lord … eye roll for DAYS!!!!

I am assuming if there was a thumbs down, I am a clear winner.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I cannot argue with that, I literally laughed out loud.

Exactly!!!

 

[Mr_bogey]

My penis is one billion widgets long and 250 million widgets thick and it shoots gumball sized wads of cum with paintball gun precision and speed.

I apologize in advance for the small welts on your tits and forehead.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Did you just call me very smart?

Why are you so surprised? lol

 

[HoneyMeadows]

Women.., a very smart man once pointed out how every woman is very different in terms of pleasure … (compared to men, where it’s usually pretty similar)…

Did you (or do you) ever get tired of having to “teach” each new man how to pleasure you?

Like.. he’s going down on you and you’ve got traffic flags… a little left, a little right, slow down, speed up.

I only get frustrated when they don't listen. Also gave up saying "yes like that, don't stop" because they all - without fail - changed up and I lost my sweet spot

 

[crazychemgirl]

My penis is one billion widgets long and 250 million widgets thick and it shoots gumball sized wads of cum with paintball gun precision and speed.

I apologize in advance for the small welts on you tits and forehead.

bahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[crazychemgirl]

I only get frustrated when they don't listen. Also gave up saying "yes like that, don't stop" because they all - without fail - changed up and I lost my sweet spot

ALWAYS!!!! Why????

 

[Mr_bogey]

I thought I missed CCG but I hadn't been 5 pages behind in here in a couple weeks. I was kind of enjoying my leisurely pace. It fit my nap schedule perfectly.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

ALWAYS!!!! Why????

No idea but I promise I'll never do that to you ok?

 

[macster3951]

Men … I wanted descriptions like:

My cock is as long as the swallow flies in a backdraft and as wide as an unburdened lizard sunning itself on a rock

My cock is as long as the sound of the CO2 leaving a can of Pepsi in a hurricane and is as wide as the thickness a squirrel run over by a semi truck hauling condoms.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Ok guys … it’s national emoji day.

Describe your cock and or pussy with an emoji (no points for anything too obvious)

 

[crazychemgirl]

My cock is as long as the sound of the CO2 leaving a can of Pepsi in a hurricane and is as wide as the thickness a squirrel run over by a semi truck hauling condoms.

Ok that was brilliant, thank you

 

[Bry1313]

Men … I wanted descriptions like:

My cock is as long as the swallow flies in a backdraft and as wide as an unburdened lizard sunning itself on a rock

Well I wanted to come back to no one conspiring to murder me, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.

 

[Doublethebubble]

Ok guys … it’s national emoji day.

Describe your cock and or pussy with an emoji (no points for anything too obvious)

 

[crazychemgirl]

My pussy

 

[crazychemgirl]

Your cock is shrugging? … I feel like you might need to seek the advice of a medical professional

 

[macster3951]

Ok that was brilliant, thank you

Felt the need to redeem myself, after replies the size of one flea farting in the farthest bleacher of an outside concert venue hoping to get a front seat

 

[Doublethebubble]

Your cock is shrugging? … I feel like you might need to seek the advice of a medical professiona

Well - to be honest - it was less my cock is shrugging and more like shrug it is about from here to here.

 

[Photog1rl]

I am assuming if there was a thumbs down, I am a clear winner.

More like setting yourself up for utter failure