For you submissives, is "vanilla" submission enough, or do you need an added kink?

[Tayloroc]

For me it's about the submission in itself, and I don't need a specific context. I do crave some forms of harder submission and to really be used and abused but it's not dependant on a context such as incest, etc. Incest, feminization, etc are contexts that don't really interest me to be honest. For me it has more to do with how a Dom/me can make me feel submissive, humiliated, degraded, etc than a context. Some people just seem to inherently be able to push my buttons properly, and others just don't work for me at all.

If it's with a man though, context becomes more important. I find myself unable to submit or be attracted to a man that is younger than me, so older gentlemen only, but that's more a "type" than a context I guess.

Im glad you like older

 

[Silkreg0]

I’m only just entering a world where I can admit my submissive tendencies. In real life, I’m the decision maker but the need to escape from that is growing. The idea of taking a journey from vanilla to wherever it leads is enticing but I know it will need to go slowly.

If anyone wants to offer guidance, I’d welcome it.

 

[lisaharlot]

I have accepted that I am a submissive. While I have no desire to wear women's clothes, my most intense fantasies involve the right female sitting on my face, with me licking and sniffing her asshole, and her gently but firmly pegging me, opening me up more and more, being the lovingly dominant one.
However, in my case, unless there is an incest them, it just doesn't give me the arousal I'm looking for. For the longest time she would always be my sister. Lately I've gone back to the even earlier mother figure from when I first discovered these tendencies--big ass, big breasts, physically larger, taller and stronger than me.
What about the rest of you submissives? Is the act of submission enough for you, or do you need it to be in a certain context like incest or something else?

Go get help

 

[Dearelliot]

I never connect my submissive play with Dominant ladies, as an incestuous relationship. But I have often wondered if my being submissive to a women has any connection to how I was raised by my mother...If there is a connection between men growing up as a sub and their mother

 

[staciedix]

There is a connection with a dominant female almost always

 

[IrisAlthea]

Go get help

I think it’s worth to remember that there are plenty of people who feel the same about anyone into BDSM.

 

[lisaharlot]

I think it’s worth to remember that there are plenty of people who feel the same about anyone into BDSM.

Suggesting the safe, sane, consensual BDSM community accept or be tolerant of incest and other unhealthy, harmful and illegal activities that have real victims is a horrible idea. Doing do would lump us in with people who do sone really awful things. I want acceptance and normalization of SSC relationships so nobody has to risk embarrassment for asking for the whip.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Suggesting the safe, sane, consensual BDSM community accept or be tolerant of incest and other unhealthy, harmful and illegal activities that have real victims is a horrible idea. Doing do would lump us in with people who do sone really awful things. I want acceptance and normalization of SSC relationships so nobody has to risk embarrassment for asking for the whip.

I get what you mean.
The post was about fantasies though

As for acceptance and normalization, I’m not holding my breath.
I think informed consent is the most crucial concept (and generally prefer RACK over SSC). It’s not always easy to judge from the outside though and the whip is used by some awful people and has real victims too.

 

[lisaharlot]

I get what you mean.
The post was about fantasies though

As for acceptance and normalization, I’m not holding my breath.
I think informed consent is the most crucial concept (and generally prefer RACK over SSC). It’s not always easy to judge from the outside though and the whip is used by some awful people and has real victims too.

Absolutely whips are used by awful people (so are penises) that’s why I phrased my comment as the sub asking for it.

In Germany BDSM shops and clubs are everywhere, even in the airports, in Japan, kink hotels are common place. I think in the US things are getting better but we have a long way to go.

 

[Ingenue844]

Prior to becoming a Little, I played at a lot of kinks in order to cum. I think I only cum from lovemaking as a sub.

 

[Photog1rl]

I think @LittleSwitchy posed an interesting question. What does the OP mean as vanilla. It seems that they have two poles-submission alone or incest related submissive fantasies.
There are many ways to be submissive and for some that is enough for others it will be paired with some kind of kink.
Personally submission alone, by either party, is enough but more may be welcome.

 

[FantasySharer1]

I think @LittleSwitchy posed an interesting question. What does the OP mean as vanilla. It seems that they have two poles-submission alone or incest related submissive fantasies.
There are many ways to be submissive and for some that is enough for others it will be paired with some kind of kink.
Personally submission alone, by either party, is enough but more may be welcome.

I didn't notice the two poles until now - even though I occupy one of the poles entirely. I could never imagine submitting to my wife unless a dominant man, and the only one I'd allow being her older brother - enforced the submission alongside her.

The fact that I can physically dominate her and take what I want, that I out-earn her, and that there's really little she could do to harm me, make it hard for me to REALLY see her as dominant, even if we do pee play and pussy worship play or body worship play. It's still play, nothing stops me from getting up and having my way with her except love and our little games.

But - my incestuous fantasy (which is beyond fantasy it is a real wish) - of her taking her older brother as a permanent, lifelong, romantic lover and partner alongside me - a man whose cock is significantly larger than mine as I've seen in the locker room, and a man who actually could potentially enforce his will on me - makes the idea of being dominated by them together - absolutely exquisite, exhilarating, and something I truly wish for.

This a portion quoted from another thread that truly explains my DEEP, REAL DESIRE FOR THIS:

I want to watch them fuck in my bed. I want to drink their creampie. I want to live the rest of our lives as a triad, as a second to her brother. There are reasons for this:

1. I know he's MUCH bigger than me. He could satisfy her in ways I never could and I want her to feel that pleasure. I want her to feel the pleasure of a man who LOVES HER - REALLY LOVES HER - as he and I both do - really pushing himself deep into the most pleasurable corners of her pussy and giving her every inch of pleasure she deserves.

2. I know he'd never steal her away from me and break up our marriage to go live in an incestuous life where they have to lose everything they have.

3. They are already so loving and kind and wonderful to each other.

4. I know they experimented a little when they were kids.

5. He's my best friend and I trust him.
It turns me on to know that my wife is sexually pleased by the two men who love her most in the world - myself and her brother - all the time. I would want him to have a more dominant role, having a double-right over her as both her brother and her lover.

6. The three of us are always together and have so much fun, and I just want them to enjoy each other so much and know from the bottom of my heart that they would.

It's not a dysfunction, a desire to be embarrassed or humiliated - I just love both of these human beings, one my wife, one her brother/my closest friend, and wish we could share everything. But I want them to prioritize their sexuality over mine. I want the leftovers but I want to savor them. I want to fuck her, after him. Taste her, after him.

The thought of them laughing together in my presence, making love while I help them, insert him into her, lay under them while they make love, clean up their creampies, kiss her while she gets absolutely pounded into pleasure by him, makes me full of joy. I just know that she would feel pleasure with him above and beyond anything and want that for her. I know that her love - physically and emotionally - would heal much of the hurt he has from his ex-wife. I dream every night of the idea of them making love and her waking me up in the morning dripping with his cum from her pussy, so I can eat it out of her.

I describe the rest here: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/cuckold-psychology.1582680/#post-96547587

 

[Erosfan]

In our private lives I am submissive. My kinks are CFNM and exhibitionism, consensual of course.
It's for both of us.

 

[Kittykat313]

For me I need the submission to a Dominant partner. I can live without the kink but I very much enjoy it.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Go get help

Incest really isn't my thing either to be honest, but kink-shaming is counter-productive here. Unless the poster was advocating anything illegal, non-consensual or dangerous (rape, underage, etc) there isn't any need to be so judgemental.

 

[desire30]

for me i enjoy a bit of surprises , being guided into things that are more kinky to where my limits are. to feel a higher degree of excitement.

 

[thetiesthatbindme]

I have to say. People on lit crack me up with the terminology y’all use. Only on lit have I heard vanilla submission, E banging, onety “ whatever that even means “
What do y’all mean by “ vanilla submission “?

I want to know the answer to that too. Submission is anything but 'vanilla'

 

[xdresssissytoes]

For me, submission is a given first step that opens the door to whatever kinks my dom or dominatrix has in mind to use my body ...especially when their lust hits the "deep dark chocolate" level!

 

[AnnieLit]

I was thinking about this a lot lately.
First of all, there is no such thing as vanilla submission. In order for me to submit, my partner needs to be open to it, needs to be willing and able to acknowledge and accept it for what it is. And that is not a part of any vanilla relationship I can think of. Since I am a woman lines are a bit blurred here, traditional roles dictate some level of submission from the female anyway, but that gives me absolutely nothing. Take it to the tenth degree and now we are getting somewhere. Take it the hundredth and I am in my happy place. That's the D/s side.

As far as S/m side goes, if it can be added to the mix - great, if not - I think I can live quite happily without it. Yes, I like bondage and pain, but for the right person I can live without either one or both of them.

And for the outside context, I don't care about those, I am 100% vanilla in that sense. No incest, no need for a specific profession or position in the society, or anything like that. He has to be older or at least close to my age, I would say somewhere in the -5 to +20 years range, and he has to be a male - that's all the required context. The rest is about the specific person.

 

[PCTech]

for me i enjoy a bit of surprises , being guided into things that are more kinky to where my limits are. to feel a higher degree of excitement.

Oh I would love to hear more about that as you are such a hot and sexy girl always!

 

[tristantrotsky]

Depends on 'your taste' in matters.

It tastes good to me...
Maybe for you too?

 

[AnnieLit]

The fact that I can physically dominate her and take what I want, that I out-earn her, and that there's really little she could do to harm me, make it hard for me to REALLY see her as dominant, even if we do pee play and pussy worship play or body worship play. It's still play, nothing stops me from getting up and having my way with her except love and our little games.

Something is wrong with your logic here. You are assuming that people submit to somebody because the D is physically and/or financially superior. But that is called abuse, not dominance. People submit because of who *they are*, because this is the way their brain works, because this is what makes them happy and this is the only way for them to make their partner happy. But still any sub at any moment should be able to stop whatever is going on, it's a safety thing and has absolutely nothing to do with the physical power balance. Not to mention that as soon as you introduce bondage, the fact that you are stronger becomes completely irrelevant - good luck getting out of handcuffs on your own.

 

[SilverVeil]

Being recently divorced and realizing how unhappy and unsatisfied my marriage left me I recognized my submissive side and embraced finding out more about it. I never labeled this side as submissive. I just knew something was missing.

I've met and began a D/s relationship with someone I met here on Literotica
through a post I made. We've talked extensively about what I am searching for and what he knows about this lifestyle. I never knew someone grasping my throat would make me cum.

I was told I am frigid, not sexy. But my Sir brought out my hidden slut with multiple orgasms. Something I had read about and thought it was just an author's fantasy. Wow! Was I fucking wrong. I'm not frigid. I'm a fucking Phoenix. He makes me soar.

We are exploring my limits. What kinks set me off. He listened to my list of limits, and my yellow list is what we explore. When he first grasped my throat I was frightened. He could cut off my breath so easily. And he is much stronger than I am. Plus I am handicapped. He had complete control of my body. And he took control of my mind.

We discussed restraints. I am fascinated by the thought of being completely under his control. Submitting to what ever he does to me. Last time we were together he made me cum with just his command. I can't wait for him to fasten cuffs around my wrists and ankles.

So, for me, I know I can't ever go back to what I had before. I need the kink that submitting to my Sir brings to my life.

 

[Will_iaM]

Vanilla isn’t enough. I would like it with some daring kink.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I think the longer we Are kinky the harder it would be to be without it.