Why Are You Like This?

Okay! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaah and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
 
I was in this movie theatre once and somebody on a balcony above threw up and then everybody started throwing up. The sounds and smells along with the visions of thick lumpy popcorn soup haunt me in my sleep every night. The lack of sleep and the haunting visions led me to drink heavily and take a variety of drugs
 
Okay! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaah and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Fucking 🤣😂💀💀💀💀💀
 
In response to that question I am likely to come out with something like, 'Well, in pop psyche terms I'm an only child, an INTP, and a Gemini-Taurus cusp, but I am not sure that explains it.'
 
A dear friend asked me this question this morning. I've been thinking about ever since. The truth is that I have no idea why I'm like this. If a stranger approached you and asked, "Why are you like this?" What would your answer be. (btw I'm going to do this to random strangers today. Why am I like this??)
Just lucky, I guess.
 
It's a long, long story with a lot of chapters. Most of them are good, though. There were hard times and bad times, but I got through them. I have an astounding support group of friends I've made over the past 59 years. I'm far more open minded than people expect someone who has only lived in one state to be (I did live in St. Louis, Missouri for a year, but I hated it and came back as soon as I could). Lots and lots of other factors.
 
I was either born under a bad sign and/or I'm bad to the bone. Either or.
 
We can not fully understand the why, for if we did, we’d likely not be who we are but rather become the chaser the “why we are”. Sometimes it’s best to not contemplate but experience, for it is in the experience that we understand our living.
 
Umm, bullying, childhood trauma and sweet sweet mental health issues make me the fun bubbly individual you see before you 🤭
 
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