So why is it- that people stop communicating

[StarGazer58]

Could be any number of reasons. They might have a partner who found out and didn't like it. Maybe the two of you seemed good together at first, but the more you chatted, the less you had in common.

I recently had a guy block me. Not here. On FB. He's my friend's husband's friend. He asked me out. I put him off. I had a lot of medical stuff going on, and also the holidays. He kept bugging me to the point of being annoying.

My life got even more hectic. Very sick cat, and I needed an operation. I was like... Please! I'll get back to you about two weeks after my operation. Until then, just let me rest and take care of the cat.

But no. He kept contacting me. Always started with him asking me what kind of food I liked. And then went to the burrito he had a a restaurant I tried twice and hated. The place has very bad reviews.

Not only was I getting extremely annoyed with him, but he repeated himself so often, I suspected senility. As in don't mention that fucking burrito again!

Then the day OF my operation, he texted me again. Operation was to my eye, so I couldn't see. So he called. Same repetitive conversation. Then he began professing his love for me and progressing as to our life in the future. Whoa! Red flags everywhere.

Next thing I knew, I was talking to no one. He hung up and blocked me. I will never know why. But it's okay as he was a pest.

As you well know Jada, there are a lot of frogs out ther. Ribbet.

 

[adamISOeve]

The way I see it, in order for a conversation to continue close to forever, a few VERY essential prerequisites must exist. First of all, the woman I’d love to meet has to be open to getting a genuine affair started with me, via email. One reason for this: because she feels a strong need for this, and for everything such an affair offers, by herself already.

This sure won’t work with a woman who needs to be “talked into” this. And this woman might have (maybe) mellowed over time into someone tolerant of human weaknesses. And she is not afraid to “lose a lobe out of her crown”, when she addresses me with some basic human warmth and kindness. Ideally because warmth and kindness are actually part of herself.

And only when the woman I look for is convinced of one thing: two mail partners who fondle each other’s souls, are far better off than two cantankerous ones. Another thing I am convinced of: True and genuine erotic arousal by mail cannot possibly happen for any two people, unless they tick like all the above. And once this kind of erotic arousal becomes truly genuine, why would any of the two wish to stop?

 

[AnotherDude99]

good article regarding Ghosting.. some may find some value in it. give it a read:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ghosting-someone-relationship-breakup_n_63627a3de4b0ae77bc2022fe

 

[AnotherDude99]

Hard to say. I work, have ADD, and at this point I feel like I have Lit pm ptsd. It's rare to connect with anyone. I decided recently that I'm only up for ol sex play on my days off. Probably bc the last guy I played with for a few weeks didn't hear me, or care, when I said that since I had just gotten off work I needed at least 45 minutes to unwind. At 20 minutes, he was ready. Given that we'd been chatting for a few weeks and things had been great, I thought, ok, although I don't feel like I'm at my best there shouldn't be any problems. Unfortunately, that was when he decided to tell me he hadn't been cumming all the times he said he had and BTW he was serious abt someone IRL. Then he took the attitude how dare you question my integrity. It's difficult to converse with multiple men via pm's. Being bombarded with all kinds of messages, demands, and expectations isn't easy. And then there's dealing with men's ideal Lit woman. Make me cum when I want it, whenever I want it, and your feelings don't enter the equation.

so men of Lit.. is this is your "ideal Lit woman" ?? - Make me cum when I want it, whenever I want it, and your feelings don't enter the equation.

 

[CuriousJoyeur]

so men of Lit.. is this is your "ideal Lit woman" ?? - Make me cum when I want it, whenever I want it, and your feelings don't enter the equation.

Not for me. For me connections are deeper when it’s about more than just getting off

 

[NakedNymph]

So let me say it's very confusing to me. Women post, wanting all manner of things, and after connecting with her, it seems her desire has waned. Is it coz (1) I have bored her to tears and should've brought on the naughty stuff sooner ? or (2) she doesn't really have the time to correspond and engage with people? Come on Lit Woman - what do you want ????

We've got lives. Nobody has an obligation to carry on a conversation or anything more.

 

[AnotherDude99]

We've got lives. Nobody has an obligation to carry on a conversation or anything more.

well of course. but that wasn't really the topic i had posted. but thanks for commenting.

 

[NakedNymph]

well of course. but that wasn't really the topic i had posted. but thanks for commenting.

You ask why people - women specifically - stop communicating. I'm saying life happens. We change with time, and sometimes we move on. It's impossible to blanket say "Lit women want this" because we're all different people, and sometimes a connection is there and sometimes it isn't.

 

[Ingenue844]

So let me say it's very confusing to me. Women post, wanting all manner of things, and after connecting with her, it seems her desire has waned. Is it coz (1) I have bored her to tears and should've brought on the naughty stuff sooner ? or (2) she doesn't really have the time to correspond and engage with people? Come on Lit Woman - what do you want ????

I don’t think there’s any set answer. Depends on the people involved, what they’re looking for, and how much of a connection they feel. Also, how much time they can dedicate to growing the connection.

My best connection so far was with someone who was more of a friend for 6 weeks before things got intense. Irl I would not have waited that long. But given how different online relationships are, it helped build the foundation.

When things happened too soon, I don’t feel great about how those connections stand. I’ve walked away not liking the feeling of being used.

 

[adamISOeve]

The main reason why people stop communicating, after they did so for awhile: one or both of them discover they have nothing more to say to each other.

OK, in many cases, with a bit of extra diligence, that might have been discoverable before a conversation even got going. But often one finds out only after the fact. That is learning by doing, after all. Nothing wrong with that, as far as I can tell. Some additional courtesy might help, instead of ghosting, But that is no help either sometimes.

 

[js120659]

i think the OP was asking why people GHOST. its clear from everyone's contribution why people don't wish to talk anymore, but instead of saying 'hey i wont be talking with you anymore', they just disappear. i believe that's the subject here. i could be wrong.

 

[Deleted member 861104]

I read a few replies. It’s simple. Just say you aren’t interested anymore and need to call it off. I’ve done it a few times and it’s better for both parties.

 

[RedSilk69]

Hard to say. I work, have ADD, and at this point I feel like I have Lit pm ptsd. It's rare to connect with anyone. I decided recently that I'm only up for ol sex play on my days off. Probably bc the last guy I played with for a few weeks didn't hear me, or care, when I said that since I had just gotten off work I needed at least 45 minutes to unwind. At 20 minutes, he was ready. Given that we'd been chatting for a few weeks and things had been great, I thought, ok, although I don't feel like I'm at my best there shouldn't be any problems. Unfortunately, that was when he decided to tell me he hadn't been cumming all the times he said he had and BTW he was serious abt someone IRL. Then he took the attitude how dare you question my integrity. It's difficult to converse with multiple men via pm's. Being bombarded with all kinds of messages, demands, and expectations isn't easy. And then there's dealing with men's ideal Lit woman. Make me cum when I want it, whenever I want it, and your feelings don't enter the equation.

Everything you said; you get tired of getting hurt. Plus, I’m on several dating sites and just don’t have the bandwidth.

 

[colorfulnayyy]

Sometimes life happens. I know for me certain things turn me off and also depends on my mindset when I receive a certain message as well.

For example, a person I’ve never communicated with starts off sexual like I get what website this is but still not always in the mood.

Additionally the facts of my fucking life, I’m busy. Like real busy and will be getting even busier next year. Between, work full time and school plus god knows what else. Prioritizing a stranger through a screen isn’t on the top of my list of things to do. Call that rude but it’s facts.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

I’m not the official spokeswoman for lit women, so I’ll just respond for myself.

Good connections are rare. Most of the men that I’d talked with along the way to finding my Dom were genuinely good guys, and I wish them well. But that’s not enough. It’s just not.

I was looking for an intense and meaningful connection, and I found it. It won’t matter for anyone else what specific things I was looking for, or which kinks we were compatible on. It only matters that I needed to give specifically what he needed to take. It works.

Most of the other men didn’t do anything ‘wrong’. They just weren’t right for me. Be yourself, be honest, be selective, and be patient.

I promise that the solution is not to jump to dirty talk sooner. I promise that’s not it.

Agree - men just need to be ourselves. And begin with questions of common interest. Do not take it personally, just keep fishing. I found someone, not here but it was by being myself. I am too old to be anything else.

 

[mrsgee]

As people have already said, for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes real life gets in the way and you need to take a break from Lit. Sometimes online relationships run their course and lose their magic, just like real life. Sometimes people are not what they first seem, you see a new side to them and don't want to chat anymore. It's very hard to find a true online soulmate.

 

[Biker_Faerie]

As people have already said, for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes real life gets in the way and you need to take a break from Lit. Sometimes online relationships run their course and lose their magic, just like real life. Sometimes people are not what they first seem, you see a new side to them and don't want to chat anymore. It's very hard to find a true online soulmate.

Even so. Whatever the reason (apart from rudeness), it shouldn’t stop people from saying “thanks but we’re done here.” Common courtesy, surely?

 

[mrsgee]

Even so. Whatever the reason (apart from rudeness). It shouldn’t stop people from saying “thanks but we’re done here.” Common courtesy, surely?

I totally agree.

 

[amber1312]

Time differences are s big factor too. If there is a big difference that 6 hours or so can really screw up long conversations. It's hard to forge a meaningful connection then but it can be done with effort and it's very rewarding

Some guys will answer questions the woman asks but then never ask any I return as if they don't really care. One recent "connection" just wanted to talk til he ejaculated and then *poof* gone, an online pump and dump well sorry but he got short shrift from me.

 

[lanceGibs]

Time differences are s big factor too. If there is a big difference that 6 hours or so can really screw up long conversations. It's hard to forge a meaningful connection then but it can be done with effort and it's very rewarding

Some guys will answer questions the woman asks but then never ask any I return as if they don't really care. One recent "connection" just wanted to talk til he ejaculated and then *poof* gone, an online pump and dump well sorry but he got short shrift from me.

I like your concept of "Pump and dump"

 

[mrsgee]

I think this is the most realistic set of reasons.
For my part, I met someone truly special on here, but (as many have stated) life happened. I miss them greatly, but for them I imagine the magic has dissipated. I respect that.

It can be difficult to sustain a longterm connection when living such separate/different lives.

Thanks for your endorsement.

It can be difficult maintaining a long term connection when living such separate/different lives, but that could also apply to a physical relationship I think? New relationships, either physical or online can initially be intense and exciting, but as you say, sometimes they don't last.

 

[mrsgee]

Time differences are s big factor too. If there is a big difference that 6 hours or so can really screw up long conversations. It's hard to forge a meaningful connection then but it can be done with effort and it's very rewarding

Some guys will answer questions the woman asks but then never ask any I return as if they don't really care. One recent "connection" just wanted to talk til he ejaculated and then *poof* gone, an online pump and dump well sorry but he got short shrift from me.

The time difference is a big factor. I find it easier to connect with someone in the same time zone, as it's easier to stay in touch fairly regularly and build a connection.

 

[jackdaw]

The time difference is a big factor. I find it easier to connect with someone in the same time zone, as it's easier to stay in touch fairly regularly and build a connection.

So true!! Maintaining the momentum can be a challenge. (I speak as one who, has failed to do so, on occasion, alas.)

 

[mrsgee]

So true!! Maintaining the momentum can be a challenge. (I speak as one who, has failed to do so, on occasion, alas.)

I know. It can be hurtful when you are dropped and don't know why.

 

[jackdaw]

I know. It can be hurtful when you are dropped and don't know why.

Understandably so …