I know you too well to share my kinks.

[hotwords229_A]

Define "bi."

More than “I”, but not quite “tri”.

 

[SassySheDevil]

4'11"? Oh, Sassy! I could cover you till you looked like a glazed doughnut.


Ben

haha there's an offer I don't get every day.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Last night I was res-erecting old threads and I found a few that I was a little embarrassed to dig out of the old Lit basement.

It occurred to me that when you are new to Lit it’s easy to walk in and share all kinds of crazy stuff, but as we get to know each other, it may become awkward to overshare.

This is, in my opinion, one of the issues with relationships. You may want your wife/girlfriend to don a strap-on and go to town on your butthole, but you are afraid to admit it, tell her about it or you are concerned that she might not be into seeing her man taking one for the team.

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

I identify with what you're saying. My journey onto this platform started with an online friend telling me about it in regards to the stories when she encouraged me to start writing my ideas. I was very naïve only because I was not very experienced. During my sporadic time on the forum I have learned a bunch. I do not openly share anymore like I used to only because I have become more guarded.

I do know myself better. I know I have no same sex tendencies and my desire for BDSM is tame compared to some. But I also know I am not 100% vanilla also.

 

[hotwords229_A]

How much of an exhibitionist are you?
Are you an exhibitionist in practice or at heart?
How much have you shown on Lit?
Are you a shy person normally?
Have you ever practiced public (legal) nudism?
Have you ever been pantsed? If so, how’d that go?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

How much of an exhibitionist are you?

I have some exhibitionistic tendencies and traits, more than most, less than some.

Are you an exhibitionist in practice or at heart?

I was significantly more practiced in my younger years, I mostly packed it away as I got closer to 30

How much have you shown on Lit?

More than many, less than some. As in threads, or on lit as in PMs? My pms have contained more than threads, but I'd say, even on threads, I have shown more than the majority of lit members choose to.

Are you a shy person normally?

I often can be. I don't like public speaking, especially in relation to stages or front of room. When I have to run training sessions with large groups I tend to make the room as informal as possible. The more formal or rigid I find the situation, the more shy I am. My perception of the people I am interacting with plays a huge part. Often, as surprising as it may seem, I choose to be silent.

Have you ever practiced public (legal) nudism?

I usually prefer the illegal kind. The rule breaking is part of the fun for me. Though certain events, clubs, etc, while open to the public, and technically still not legal, were themed so there is an assumption it will not be criminalized. Public indecency is often a gray area. You don't want to get me started lol.

Have you ever been pantsed? If so, how’d that go?

Not in a very long time. Fine, jokes between friends, laughter. It was fine for the occasion.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I usually prefer the illegal kind. The rule breaking is part of the fun for me. Though certain events, clubs, etc, while open to the public, and technically still not legal, were themed so there is an assumption it will not be criminalized. Public indecency is often a gray area. You don't want to get me started lol.

This is a good point. First I should say that I should have used the word sanctioned rather than legal. I meant public nudity in a resort, or nude beach, a hedonistic island—somewhere it is accepted.

But your answer brings me to a more interesting question about the fun of breaking the rules or doing the taboo thing.

Sometimes I‘m not sure where kinks end and fantasies begin. In my mind they cross over one another, but one thing I’m sure of is that they are more fun when they push, break, bend or blow themselves all over the face of the rules.

Isn’t a kink only a kink if it has an element of taboo to it?
If it isn’t kinky in some way, isn’t it just sex?
Does a kink require a strap on, same sex person joining in, various foods items, specific clothing, the wing of a plane in flight, etc. in order to be considered a kink? Doesn’t it require some rule breaking or envelope pushing?

Does a kink lose its excitement if it isn’t, in some way, outside the norm?

 

[cascadiabound]

How much of an exhibitionist are you?
limited... but perhaps I have not been given the right encouragement or the right setting....
Are you an exhibitionist in practice or at heart?
I do not know how to answer this....
How much have you shown on Lit?
Well... I had an AV for awhile that showed my cleavage and a peek of a white lacy bra. Compared to most around here... I am practically a prude.
Buried in a thread a long long time ago there may be a picture of me which is unattributed.
Are you a shy person normally?
shy? like uncomfortable with nudity in general or with people it is appropriate to be naked with? no.
Have you ever practiced public (legal) nudism?
practiced? ummmm - I would say my practice has been limited. But I have gone skinny dipping and been naked in hot tubs and hot springs on more occasions than I can recall. I have not been on a nude beach, but I would not hesitate very much to meet the norm.
Have you ever been pantsed? If so, how’d that go?
nope - I think that is a boy thing? The closest I recall to that was being very seriously goosed in a public high school stairwell. There were a lot of people around and I probably blushed furiously. I know I turned around and gave the guy a bit of hell.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Isn’t a kink only a kink if it has an element of taboo to it?
If it isn’t kinky in some way, isn’t it just sex?
Does a kink require a strap on, same sex person joining in, various foods items, specific clothing, the wing of a plane in flight, etc. in order to be considered a kink? Doesn’t it require some rule breaking or envelope pushing?

Does a kink lose its excitement if it isn’t, in some way, outside the norm?

I do think there has to be some level of taboo, or at least uniqueness to be a kink, as otherwise it is ordinary sex. Though it may not be the pushing of the envelope or the rule breaking that draws someone. For me, it most likely is, in general either the breaking of the rules, the pushing something further, or the doing something I have never done before that attracts me to something. I also do think a kink would lose its excitement if not outside the norm, at least for many. For me, just becoming my norm makes it less exciting lol.

 

[hotwords229_A]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/6aee40336a420762d2f587707b12e912/1965f93a5f9e4e35-41/s500x750/671350c4e7fe33f114aada01a364c03ce3cef250.jpg

Have you ever been the third wheel in a threesome?
What was it like entering another couple’s relationship?
How did they approach you?
Would you rather invite someone into your relationship or be the one invited?

 

[hotwords229_A]

You have an opportunity to write and direct a porn flick.
You can cast anyone you want, make it about anything you want and have a generous budget.

What porn movie would you make? What is it about? Who is in it?

 

[SinfuIDreams]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/6aee40336a420762d2f587707b12e912/1965f93a5f9e4e35-41/s500x750/671350c4e7fe33f114aada01a364c03ce3cef250.jpg

Have you ever been the third wheel in a threesome?
What was it like entering another couple’s relationship?
How did they approach you?
Would you rather invite someone into your relationship or be the one invited?

So I can answer this one, from both sides of the coin.
Myself and my late husband had a threeway relationship with a very close friend of both of ours. I loved him as much as I loved my husband just differently he was a hard man to love openly had a lot of issues (still has a lot of issue.) We lasted years.
When it was up it was fantastic like living in a cloud of happiness the sex and the kink was superior to anything I had imagined or could hope to find ever again. But when it was down it felt as if the world was ending. Fighting with one person is bad enough but two at once left me feeling unheard and my opinion disregarded. Like an outsider in the bro code. But then our lover would have felt the same over our married life and I'm sure my late husband felt similar because I was close to our lover over mutual hatred of our past lives. We all bonded with each other over different things.
Our threeway relationship just kind of happened it was never discussed we played a whole bunch and then one day I woke up and realized I might as well have been married to the both of them


Now as for being the third wheel in someone elses relationship I've done this a few times either as Domme or submissive role. Both were highly enjoyable but different, sometimes I liked having the ability to control every aspect while being a part-time invader in their relationship other times I got a huge kick out of them arguing with each other on who gets to break out the cane first.
These were pre discussed relationships at length before any play date was set, limits etc

 

[hotwords229_A]

Great info ^^^.
I tend to think of 3somes as a one night stand type deal and I don’t think about the next day, or any relationship that may happen from them. I am in awe of people who can have a relationship with more than one person and not have jealousy, or serious complications come into play. As humans, it’s not necessarily “normal” to be with the same person for your whole life (even though there is a very romantic notion tied to it).

I like when old people die within a few months of each other. Maybe like isn’t the right word, but it is very romantic to think that when one dies the other basically says “Fuck this, I’m outta here” and follows them. Kind of Romeo and Juliet without all the “How now, Brown Cow“ bullshit.

On the other hand, having crazy monkey sex with other people is something we all desire no matter how committed to our partner and a little spice makes for a very strong relationship.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/6aee40336a420762d2f587707b12e912/1965f93a5f9e4e35-41/s500x750/671350c4e7fe33f114aada01a364c03ce3cef250.jpg

Have you ever been the third wheel in a threesome?
What was it like entering another couple’s relationship?
How did they approach you?
Would you rather invite someone into your relationship or be the one invited?

The handful of times (very rare), were unplanned, one time things with real no approach, mostly just based on chicks cutting loose. The females were friends. By friend I also include the new BFF met 5 minutes ago in the bar bathroom when you bonded over all you the love of each others lipstick and all the commonalities like you both use toilet paper and love kittens. (yes the women's bar bathroom bff thing is not just an urban legend). So you're having a grand old time with the most awesome friend every, everyone loves everyone, ever song is a favorite song. We are dancing, singing, and laughing. Dancing gets racy, turns to making out. The male partner observing this has one of 4 reactions. Just watching while chuckling, being Mr Nice but Responsible with you girls are drunk and getting silly I'm cutting you off, getting angry with his wife/girlfriend, or saying hey I want to join the fun too, may I. And that is how I've been the 3rd wheel a few times in my life, because a couple of SOs were type 4.

I think I'd actually rather be the one inviting, as that means I finally got hubby fully on board.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Isn’t a kink only a kink if it has an element of taboo to it?
If it isn’t kinky in some way, isn’t it just sex?
Does a kink require a strap on, same sex person joining in, various foods items, specific clothing, the wing of a plane in flight, etc. in order to be considered a kink? Doesn’t it require some rule breaking or envelope pushing?

Does a kink lose its excitement if it isn’t, in some way, outside the norm?

-I think anything which it outside the realm of "vanilla sex" is considered a kink. It's not necessarily taboo. (My definition of taboo is like sex with clergy, incest and all the other suchlike.)
-I think kinky is like a spice added to sex to make it better, interesting, etc.
-There are so many kinks that are not dependent on stuff like you mentioned. Spanking, choking, and things of that nature don't need added implements, but are super kinky.
-I think a kink loses it's punch when it it overused or becomes routine. Kink is a bit out the norm to spice things up.

But what do I know?

 

[hotwords229_A]

So I'm interested in the premise of the meme here. Is it really all for the couple? Shouldn't there be a recognition that the third has emotions and feelings too, and that the couple has some responsibilities towards them?

I agree with your point during the sex. But I took it as the couple are “playing” with the third person, with the understanding that there can be no emotional connection that lasts longer than the sex. ‘You are simply the other penis in the room and have fun with that, but then go off and brag to your friends and let us go back to being a couple’.

I would prefer this approach rather than ‘now we’re couple +1‘.

And that would be my perspective as the “other penis in the room”.

Does that make sense?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

If you're bad at those things... disaster ahead.

I sound like a pirate.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I understand what you're both saying.

I do thing there's a world of possibility between "pump and dump:; we never want to see you again" and "now you are one of us!".

I think appreciating the person for their time, effort, emotions etc. Letting them know they did great and the experience was amazing (ya know, if it was). And also letting them know that you as a couple are still good and strong. If I just wanted a penis and not a person, I'd buy a new toy. Most of the fun of a third is the energy and dynamic they bring.

There's nothing worse than being the unicorn and leaving with a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Boundaries, expectations and communication. If you're bad at those things... disaster ahead.

You make a good point though.
One reason I am a bit selfish with a woman is because I have issues with past sharing.
The fact is if I am with a beautiful woman, I want to give her all my attention.
A second person with us would make that difficult.
Still an FFM is a fantasy of mine even if in reality, it would never happen.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

But not Sloppy Joe, the Angry Pirate...

Never. Sloppy. Joe. Ever.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I understand what you're both saying.

I do thing there's a world of possibility between "pump and dump:; we never want to see you again" and "now you are one of us!".

I think appreciating the person for their time, effort, emotions etc. Letting them know they did great and the experience was amazing (ya know, if it was). And also letting them know that you as a couple are still good and strong. If I just wanted a penis and not a person, I'd buy a new toy. Most of the fun of a third is the energy and dynamic they bring.

There's nothing worse than being the unicorn and leaving with a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Boundaries, expectations and communication. If you're bad at those things... disaster ahead.

Yup. I agree with all of that.
I can only look at this from the perspective of being the third wheel as I would be super uncomfortable sharing someone I had deep feelings about. I might even be uncomfortable going into a strong marriage and being the fun third person.

This is why I think (for me) threesomes are best left to friends and not couples.

I’m not sure I can navigate the threesome couple move. But three friends who lost all control one night? I‘m in!!!

 

[hotwords229_A]

I get it. It's like the Marines... the few, the brave...

That’s right. I’m more of a ninja, sneak in, do my thing, sneak back out.

 

[hotwords229_A]

This ^^^ is interesting because now I’m wondering if a kink requires a connection on both sides.

What if you are experimenting with a kink? Shouldn’t you jump into a pond or river first before investing in an Olympic size pool?
What if trying a threesome is more of a one night stand to see how you feel, rather than a deep emotional connection?
Is that why we‘re all here? To dip our toes in the water rather than pursuing it in real life where things can get messy?
How does experimentation play into a kink if it requires an emotional connection first?
Is this something that holds you back from trying any particular kink because of the commitment?
Would you rather just try it and see what happens with the ability to walk away and never discuss it again?

 

[Endless_Night]

This ^^^ is interesting because now I’m wondering if a kink requires a connection on both sides.

The thing with this is there are so many underpinnings of any type of sexual interaction, kink or not. You can be into threesomes (or whatever), and have wildly ranging emotional expectations.

There are people happy to "pump and dump" without the least desire for any type of emotional connection and little interest in meeting the other participants again.

There are people who are always looking to become emotionally attached, whether they admit it to others or even themselves.

There are people all kinds of places in between.

Makes it hard to attach emotional requirements to kinks.

Boundaries, expectations and communication. If you're bad at those things... disaster ahead.

This is unarguable. The problem is, so many people are bad at those things.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Have you ever had an Ampics thread?
How far did you go? How much did you show?
Did you do it to satisfy an exhibitionist streak, or on a dare?
What was your experience?
If you haven’t had your own thread, what has held you back?
Do you fantasize about trying it?
Do you generally look at other people’s Ampics?
What would you change about the Ampics thread if you could?
Do you have a particular Lister that you hope will start their own thread? (No names, unless it’s me!)

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Have you ever had an Ampics thread?
How far did you go? How much did you show?
Did you do it to satisfy an exhibitionist streak, or on a dare?
What was your experience?
If you haven’t had your own thread, what has held you back?
Do you fantasize about trying it?
Do you generally look at other people’s Ampics?
What would you change about the Ampics thread if you could?
Do you have a particular Lister that you hope will start their own thread? (No names, unless it’s me!)

Have you ever had an Ampics thread?
Nope

If you haven’t had your own thread, what has held you back?
Partly for privacy and professional reasons which I think are largely self explanatory. The other part is that I’m more of a private exhibitionist if that’s a thing? I really enjoy sharing, but more on a one to one level. It is personal, I want to share specifically with them, and it’s a deliberate choice. Chances are if you've seen me naked, you’ve seen A LOT of me naked and I loved sharing it with you, but it’s not something I choose to share with just anyone. But I‘m really not shy either

Do you fantasize about trying it?
No, if I did I would find a way to make it happen and work for me.

Do you generally look at other people’s Ampics?
Rarely, which is odd. I like naked people a lot

Do you have a particular Lister that you hope will start their own thread? (No names, unless it’s me!)
You should based on the ass shot I caught!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Not here, but on another site, yes. Does that count, or is the question Lit specific?

Nothing I ask is specific. Always feel free to answer anything in any way you like. Change the subject if necessary. Ask questions of your own. I’m all for it.

But yes, let’s hear about it!