Seven Letter Post Office: X 5 :Redux

[billg1421]

at least they didn't have CARBIDE-tipped claws ...

Yes. Lucky indeed, for it may affect their CARIBOU-like quickness and agility

 

[moreandmore]

Yes. Lucky indeed, for it may affect their CARIBOU-like quickness and agility

style and grace, leads to EROTICA

 

[A_Bierce]

style and grace, leads to EROTICA

than which nothing could be more TOPICAL—except, perhaps, viruses.

 

[moreandmore]

than which nothing could be more TOPICAL—except, perhaps, viruses.

I'm still dreaming of hitting that JACKPOT

 

[A_Bierce]

I'm still dreaming of hitting that JACKPOT

can't fill your POCKETS unless you get vaccinated, though

 

[moreandmore]

can't fill your POCKETS unless you get vaccinated, though

not that type of jackpot. The one where she ACCEPTS

 

[A_Bierce]

not that type of jackpot. The one where she ACCEPTS

Ah. So you hope to dip your SCEPTRE in someone's naughty bits?

 

[moreandmore]

Ah. So you hope to dip your SCEPTRE in someone's naughty bits?

the skilled ENTICER gets the spoils

 

[A_Bierce]

the skilled ENTICER gets the spoils

Unless he is TRICKED by the one he hopes to despoil.

 

[moreandmore]

Unless he is TRICKED by the one he hopes to despoil.

wouldn't be the first time I've been GRIFTED

 

[A_Bierce]

wouldn't be the first time I've been GRIFTED

or the first time she's FLIRTED with mendacious intent.

 

[moreandmore]

or the first time she's FLIRTED with mendacious intent.

with DEVILRY from both, they deserve each other

 

[A_Bierce]

with DEVILRY from both, they deserve each other

It had been rumoured that she REVILED him, apparently no truth to it.

 

[moreandmore]

It had been rumoured that she REVILED him, apparently no truth to it.

that was traced to a wardrobe malfunction. Once she RELACED her chastity belt it went away

 

[Candy_Kane54]

that was traced to a wardrobe malfunction. Once she RELACED her chastity belt it went away

when she told me that she loved fettuccine ALFREDO, I knew she was the one for me.

 

[moreandmore]

when she told me that she loved fettuccine ALFREDO, I knew she was the one for me.

that's enough to get anyone AROUSED

 

[A_Bierce]

that's enough to get anyone AROUSED

No surprise, then, that when you DROWSED—a major gaffe—she left.

 

[moreandmore]

No surprise, then, that when you DROWSED—a major gaffe—she left.

rumor has it she GROUSED about it for weeks

 

[A_Bierce]

rumor has it she GROUSED about it for weeks

had you ROGERED her she'd have no reason to grouse.

 

[moreandmore]

had you ROGERED her she'd have no reason to grouse.

I FERRIED my response but that was too slow.

 

[A_Bierce]

I FERRIED my response but that was too slow.

Or perhaps not too slow, but...well, they served REFRIES on the ferry...

 

[moreandmore]

Or perhaps not too slow, but...well, they served REFRIES on the ferry...

and then she REFUSED my calls...women!

 

[A_Bierce]

and then she REFUSED my calls...women!

Hope she SUFFERS! Women: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.

 

[moreandmore]

Hope she SUFFERS! Women: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.

when she suffers she summons her MASSEUR

 

[A_Bierce]

when she suffers she summons her MASSEUR

Whereupon he RESUMES his ministrations? Hmmm...happy ending?