Preference for sluts

[Halan1969]

Being a slut is a attitude. From the way you dress, and walk to the intensity of how hard you fuck. While many degrees can be associated with being a slut, typically small minded people. You yourself know and feel the intensity when you are in that mood.

 

[magicalmoments]

Some men explicitly prefer sluts. I have heard various reasons but I am curious if any men here feel that way and if so why?

When I say slut I mean someone like me who has sex with multiple partners. That doesn't imply being stupid and careless and spreading my legs for anyone who asks. I am liberated, in control of my own body and conscious of my own safety and well being. I just happen to like having multiple lovers.

I was an active swinger from age 29 through until i was 50. Throughout that 20 year adventure I actively sought out sluts, as you have defined them above.

The reason I explicitly preferred them was simple, they liked having multiple lovers and provided I respected them, their body, their safety and well being, they added me to their list of lovers.

Trying to seduce a woman who had not made that mental adjustment and accepted her "sluttishness", If you know what i mean, was just too hard, especially when there were so many sluts available.

It was all fairly simple really.

 

[mikendel]

My wife can flip the slut switch off and on. She can be wife and mom during the week and flip the slut switch on for the weekend. Full time slut isn't what I want or need.

 

[screwher]

my wife

My wife can flip the slut switch off and on. She can be wife and mom during the week and flip the slut switch on for the weekend. Full time slut isn't what I want or need.

This is what I'm looking for my marriage to evolve into. A semi open relationship where my wife has sex with other men. Once a week, three times a month, another man spends the night in our bed with my wife.

 

[ardeeo]

preference for sluts

If you define the word slut as a woman who loves sex because .... she loves sex, . I have always been drawn to the nice girl/slut and didn't care a whit if others defined her as 'extensively experienced'.
I married my favorite.

 

[wantingit2222]

My wife can flip the slut switch off and on. She can be wife and mom during the week and flip the slut switch on for the weekend. Full time slut isn't what I want or need.

Always nice...a lady in public and a slut in the bedroom...

 

[naughtoldperv]

My wife can flip the slut switch off and on. She can be wife and mom during the week and flip the slut switch on for the weekend. Full time slut isn't what I want or need.

That's the perfect woman that knows when and where to flip the switch and I've spent many decades trying to teach that knack to confirmed sluts that I was with and came to the conclusion that most sluts have a hard time finding that switch.
I then changed my tactic and found a 'lady' and have enrolled her in my 'slut training 101' and after more than a decade, she is still learning but is top of the class so far.
just my experience............

 

[Calliesdad2010]

Personally if you define a slut as a sexually open woman

who knows what she wants

then yes i have a preference

 

[policywank]

Personally if you define a slut as a sexually open woman

who knows what she wants

then yes i have a preference

For this purpose I would add the premise that she has extensive sexual experience.

I think that most men like a sexually open woman who knows what she wants, but want those characteristics to exist without her having had much experience. In reality it is quite unlikely to find a woman who is both sexually "virtuous" and sexually open and knows what she wants.

It was frankly more likely in the past when a sexually desirous woman could be intimidated or restrained from having sex by male and societal pressures. These days one would have to ask the question, if she is truly open then why hasn't she acted on it before? How can she know what she wants without having sampled what is on offer?

I am not saying it is impossible - every woman is unique. But let's face it, most men make a choice between "virtuous" and "open". And most lean towards "virtuous" (whatever that means to them) and complain about their lousy sex lives later (but that is another story).

I am talking about men who consciously choose sexually open women whom they know to be experienced either because that is their priority, they are drawn to her sexual promiscuity or whatever other reason.

In my purely anecdotal observation, even the men who accept a woman's extensive sexual history regard it as a compromise they make for love. Likewise women regard it as something unfortunate to be put behind you. It is rare to find someone who sees it as a positive.

 

[J1biboi]

I've always had a thing for slutty women. I think it was Travis Tritt that had the song "I like my women a little on the trashy side".

 

[JPDavis]

I find an instant attraction to some people, like an antenae goes up on both the other person and me, after talking, maybe flirting, the pull can be like a magnet and they turn out to be characterized by others that way, I consider myself something of a male slut for whatever that is worth

 

[CTim]

I've always had a thing for slutty women. I think it was Travis Tritt that had the song "I like my women a little on the trashy side".

That was Confederate Railroad.

I think I'm a little too traditionally romantic to want a really slutty girl long term. That said, if I were to ever find myself single again I think I'd like to learn a few things from some experienced women before settling back down.

 

[Justfantasies]

For this purpose I would add the premise that she has extensive sexual experience.

I think that most men like a sexually open woman who knows what she wants, but want those characteristics to exist without her having had much experience. In reality it is quite unlikely to find a woman who is both sexually "virtuous" and sexually open and knows what she wants.

It was frankly more likely in the past when a sexually desirous woman could be intimidated or restrained from having sex by male and societal pressures. These days one would have to ask the question, if she is truly open then why hasn't she acted on it before? How can she know what she wants without having sampled what is on offer?

I am not saying it is impossible - every woman is unique. But let's face it, most men make a choice between "virtuous" and "open". And most lean towards "virtuous" (whatever that means to them) and complain about their lousy sex lives later (but that is another story).

I am talking about men who consciously choose sexually open women whom they know to be experienced either because that is their priority, they are drawn to her sexual promiscuity or whatever other reason.

In my purely anecdotal observation, even the men who accept a woman's extensive sexual history regard it as a compromise they make for love. Likewise women regard it as something unfortunate to be put behind you. It is rare to find someone who sees it as a positive.

I must be rare then. Always seemed to me an experienced woman is to be courted and prized.

 

[GuySLut]

When my wife and I first met we picked each other up and pretty much jumped into bed. We were both seeing other mates but kept hooking up for sex. During this time we found our outlooks on life was pretty well matched.
During the time we first met I worked with a guy who with his wife was very much involved with the swinging lifestyle. He invited us to a party. We had a great time! We spent the afternoon and evening on a sexual high. She nicknamed me GuySlut.
I would also ask her if her inner slut had picked a hard cock to fuck?
Even tho we have fucked others we don’t stay out all night with them. We love to reclaim each other at the end of the day.
I know a lot of people who frown on her for being sexual. I love her sexual openness

 

[Cubantripod]

What I don't understand is the guy that will date the "slut" and then when its time to settle down, settles down with the prude because she's a "good girl." The problem is he's miserable because it's like fucking a dead body. My neighbor was surprised to learn that married men still get blowjobs. Ever since my wife said in front of his wife that she like doing it, she hasn't spoken to my wife very much.

 

[Dougos]

I don’t have a problem with women having multiple partners...more exciting.

 

[KimGordon67]

I wonder if the preference for the 'virtuous' woman is somehow connected with the religion that seems to be foundational to American culture. It's not like that here, and I've never met a local guy who cares about how many men their partners have had sex with. When someone on the Lit boards says 'I've only had sex with my wife, and she's only had sex with me', I find that really odd - you would be hard-pushed to find a local married couple who hadn't had at least five, if not more, sexual partners prior to marrying. (I just made those figures up, but I wouldn't be surprised if they're relatively close to the reality.)

No one cares, or at least I've never met anyone who's cared.

 

[policywank]

That was Confederate Railroad.

I think I'm a little too traditionally romantic to want a really slutty girl long term. That said, if I were to ever find myself single again I think I'd like to learn a few things from some experienced women before settling back down.

Why can't a woman who has had a lot of sexual experience (and is therefore deemed slutty) also want a romantic relationship? I can see where the traditional view might dictate becoming monogamous, but if she wants to embrace that what is the problem?

If the fact that she has a lot of sexual history and perhaps even isn't ashamed of it is a deal breaker in this context then isn't the word "traditional" really just a nice way of saying compliant with a patriarchal society?

 

[policywank]

What I don't understand is the guy that will date the "slut" and then when its time to settle down, settles down with the prude because she's a "good girl." The problem is he's miserable because it's like fucking a dead body. My neighbor was surprised to learn that married men still get blowjobs. Ever since my wife said in front of his wife that she like doing it, she hasn't spoken to my wife very much.

I think that the marriage choice dynamic affects both men and women.

Men make a woman's relative "purity" a priority when choosing a wife. I don't think many expect a virgin these days but emphasis is still put on her having limited sexual experience which is obviously going to be correlated to limited interest in sex or generally conservative views on sex.

Meanwhile the same cultural forces that encourage men to want a "pure" wife encourage women to prioritize practical criteria in choosing a mate. And this is often at a stage in life when we aren't sexually mature and are still being encouraged to suppress our own sexual desires.

So even if the "pure" wife does mature and grow into her own sexual desire, she may find that she doesn't find her husband particularly appealing.

 

[policywank]

I wonder if the preference for the 'virtuous' woman is somehow connected with the religion that seems to be foundational to American culture. It's not like that here, and I've never met a local guy who cares about how many men their partners have had sex with. When someone on the Lit boards says 'I've only had sex with my wife, and she's only had sex with me', I find that really odd - you would be hard-pushed to find a local married couple who hadn't had at least five, if not more, sexual partners prior to marrying. (I just made those figures up, but I wouldn't be surprised if they're relatively close to the reality.)

No one cares, or at least I've never met anyone who's cared.

I have always felt that religious foundation is part of it. I think that as things have gone more secular people just can't let go of it. But for many who are completely non-religious the attitudes prevail.

One of the oddest things I have noticed is a sort of "Snow White" mythology. Men create all kinds of distorted narratives about female sexuality so that they can buy into the notion of a woman who is sort of suspended in time and space, pure until that one man kisses her after which she will have a great awakening but her love and desire will be limited to that one man. This and variations on this myth are what allow them to embrace the cognitive dissonance of expecting to marry a sexually inexperienced woman yet wanting her to switch it on but only for him.

In the absence of these distortions the expectations are quite ridiculous - like seeking an equestrian partner but insisting that they have never ridden or sen a horse.

For clarity, I don't think most people here would consider 5 partners to be excessive. I don't think many men really expect a virgin. But they do have very firm ideas on what is or isn't acceptable and they presume to have some or role or right to judge a woman's past or infer things about her from her choices all with reference to a dated set of stereotypes and presumptions.

Of course when I say they that doesn't include all men. Many are more enlightened and opened. But I think that they are still the minority.

 

[CTim]

Why can't a woman who has had a lot of sexual experience (and is therefore deemed slutty) also want a romantic relationship? I can see where the traditional view might dictate becoming monogamous, but if she wants to embrace that what is the problem?

If the fact that she has a lot of sexual history and perhaps even isn't ashamed of it is a deal breaker in this context then isn't the word "traditional" really just a nice way of saying compliant with a patriarchal society?

At this point in life I'd have no problem having a long term relationship with a formally promiscuous woman who wants to now be monogamous. I was assuming that by slutty it was meant they would continue to be active with multiple partners and that's a no go for me personally. That's where the "traditionally romantic" part comes in.

I'll admit as an average guy who highly values a very loving traditional relationship I could never handle an open marriage. I'm sure the comparisons, jealousy, and perceived divided attention would never work for me. Some would no doubt say that's just the immature male ego coming through. I guess I'll just have to own that.

 

[sterculius]

My first wife was a slut. This was what attracted me to her in the first place. What I should have foreseen was that getting married wouldn't cause her to change what she was. After having two children together. I became aware that she didn't restrict herself to having sex just with me. Although the thought of her fucking and sucking other men excited me, the fact that it soon became common knowledge that she was spreading her legs indiscriminately irritated me. Had we both been more mature we might have been able to work out an arrangement satisfactory to us both. I think she would have agreed to let me suck off her lovers in exchange for me pimping for her.

 

[BongoGal]

Men make a woman's relative "purity" a priority when choosing a wife. I don't think many expect a virgin these days but emphasis is still put on her having limited sexual experience which is obviously going to be correlated to limited interest in sex or generally conservative views on sex.

In my experience, I have known some guys to be attracted to me because they were aware that I have had an active and varied sex life. None of them seemed as if they had any dreams of 'taming' me and taking me for a life partner. If they did, they kept it well-hidden. They have kept it to the desired 'Let's have fun while it lasts'.

 

[Islander55]

I wonder if the preference for the 'virtuous' woman is somehow connected with the religion that seems to be foundational to American culture. It's not like that here, and I've never met a local guy who cares about how many men their partners have had sex with. When someone on the Lit boards says 'I've only had sex with my wife, and she's only had sex with me', I find that really odd - you would be hard-pushed to find a local married couple who hadn't had at least five, if not more, sexual partners prior to marrying. (I just made those figures up, but I wouldn't be surprised if they're relatively close to the reality.)

No one cares, or at least I've never met anyone who's cared.

It is part of our religious background but not just for America. We just seem to be a bit slower to move on. It seems that most Europeans are much more open about sex and apparently many Aussies and Kiwis as well. It has been a part of western civilization for a long time and a big part was to control women. I guess the Roman "pater familias" would be the ultimate for some men. The concept that the man was the absolute authority in the family and could even kill his wife if he desired. Certainly during the middle ages men desired purity in a wife. They would proceed to knock her up, lock her up and then head out to screw every milk maid and whore that they could find. We have made some progress over the years but still have a long way to go.

 

[Islander55]

I think that the marriage choice dynamic affects both men and women.

Men make a woman's relative "purity" a priority when choosing a wife. I don't think many expect a virgin these days but emphasis is still put on her having limited sexual experience which is obviously going to be correlated to limited interest in sex or generally conservative views on sex.

Meanwhile the same cultural forces that encourage men to want a "pure" wife encourage women to prioritize practical criteria in choosing a mate. And this is often at a stage in life when we aren't sexually mature and are still being encouraged to suppress our own sexual desires.

So even if the "pure" wife does mature and grow into her own sexual desire, she may find that she doesn't find her husband particularly appealing.

This may explain why so many men on here are constantly complaining about a lack of sex. They marry the inexperienced woman and then find out that she does not have much interest in sex or she is not able to explore her sexuality and grow into a sexually confident woman.