Masturbation is wrong?

[Jada59]

I just finished the book, "I Heard You Paint Houses". It's the inside story of the mafia. The main character, Frank Sheeran said that he never masturbated. The church (Catholic) was against it and so was he.

Is this really a Catholic thing? I used to have a female friend who thought it was disgusting so she'd just hook up with various guys to get sex. She had one abortion and one child born out of wedlock.

My ex husband thought it was disgusting as well.

But I know a ton of other Catholic people and the subject just never came up.

Is this really frowned upon?

 

[Samday]

I suspect it comes under the general heading Carnal Desires or Pleasures of the Flesh - and is therefore "officially" frowned upon by the Church for whom the business of sex is simply procreation of the species within the bounds of wedlock?

 

[EdEc]

The Catholics refer to it as Onanism and they don't like it.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

But they're quite happy to take advantage of young boys.

 

[Kate_part2]

The Catholics refer to it as Onanism and they don't like it.

Then I am truly a very bad Catholic

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Catholic orthodoxy considers all sex outside of marriage wrong. I never let that stop me, however.

 

[Male4Strapon]

If masturbation is wrong, then i dont want to be right.

 

[Bigspurt]

Nope!

If a married sex life finds you in the once a month category and the scene is pretty much the same every time, Solo wins!

 

[jehoram]

The Catholics refer to it as Onanism and they don't like it.

Although Onanism is actually "coitus interruptus" ... or "pulling out" before cumming. At least, that's what is portrayed in the Bible. But for Catholics, spilling your seed was spilling your seed, no matter how you spilled it. If it wasn't into a vagina, it was a sin.

When I was growing up Catholic in the days before Vatican II, yes, it was a sin. I would have to include it in all the sins I listed in the confessional, like hitting Joey in the schoolyard or lying to my mother or eating meat on Friday. The priest would never lecture me on it, except maybe to say that it was an urge I needed to control in order to become a better husband when I got married. Then he'd give me my penance ... the number of "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" I had to recite as part of the absolution he granted me. Then I just had to "control myself" until the next Communion, since you couldn't go to Communion back then if you were in a "state of sin." (I don't know what the rules are now.)

To be sure, it was a "venial" sin, not a "mortal" sin. The difference was that if you had committed a venial sin, you'd be sent to Purgatory after you died, to wait out your "sentence" until you were eligible to enter Heaven. If you died in a state of mortal sin, though, you'd go straight to Hell.

The definitive statement on masturbation was made in a lecture by Father Guido Sarducci called "Pay For Your Sins." Check it out.

 

[HoldYouDown]

When I was a teen I thought it was "wrong." I was Catholic but didn't necessarily see it as a sin...I just thought I was a loser if I did it because it meant I wasn't getting girls. Luckily I broke out of that mindset. But yes the Catholic Church doesn't like spilled seed, lol.

 

[anniebaby10]

I just finished the book, "I Heard You Paint Houses". It's the inside story of the mafia. The main character, Frank Sheeran said that he never masturbated. The church (Catholic) was against it and so was he.

Is this really a Catholic thing? I used to have a female friend who thought it was disgusting so she'd just hook up with various guys to get sex. She had one abortion and one child born out of wedlock.

My ex husband thought it was disgusting as well.

But I know a ton of other Catholic people and the subject just never came up.

Is this really frowned upon?

I have a LOT of Catholic friends who are masturbating two or three times a week as their husbands don't fuck them enough. A few also cheat on them so I don't think they worry too much about what the church leaders think.

 

[tallladiesman]

In the Catholic Church masturbation is a sin which should be told at confession. The sin of self indulgence is what you are supposed to call it in the confessional. But as has been said above it kinda pales into insignificance when compared to raping altar boys. Any moral authority the church had went out the window with that.
And for the record I am a Catholic and I commit the sin of self indulgence on an almost daily basis. Would any of you like to hear my confession?

 

[policywank]

When I was young I remember that a lot of boys were embarrassed by it and pretended that they never jerked off.

I recall even in my late teens a boyfriend saying he never jerked off. He was using that as an excuse to get into my pants mind you so maybe that was part of the story. But it was almost childlike the way he would vehemently deny it if it ever came up with me or even his friends. They were all like that.

I mentioned this to my next boyfriend and he basically guffawed. His response was "absolutely 100% bullshit, we all jerk off, or at least the vast majority of us do." Most guys I know now would freely admit that they masturbate. It is natural. But I notice that whenever a have talked to a guy who says he doesn't he says so in a very defensive way....in that same self-conscious way as my teenage boyfriend.

Especially in the Catholic context I think you are dealing with a very specific and pervasive cultural context that demands compliance. It is a near certainty that even if he did masturbate he wouldn't admit it. So the denial is suspect at a minimum. The more aggressive the denial, the more likely he is hiding something.

 

[ornyguy32]

My favorite kind of Catholic girl.

Love naughty Catholic girls so innocent but naughty

 

[Jada59]

I suspect it comes under the general heading Carnal Desires or Pleasures of the Flesh - and is therefore "officially" frowned upon by the Church for whom the business of sex is simply procreation of the species within the bounds of wedlock?

That could be. My ex thought sex outside of marriage was fine. But once married, it was only to make bbies.

 

[Jada59]

The Catholics refer to it as Onanism and they don't like it.

Really? Wow. Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

But they're quite happy to take advantage of young boys.

Sadly, true.

 

[Jada59]

Catholic orthodoxy considers all sex outside of marriage wrong. I never let that stop me, however.

Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

If masturbation is wrong, then i dont want to be right.

Same.

 

[Jada59]

When I was young I remember that a lot of boys were embarrassed by it and pretended that they never jerked off.

I recall even in my late teens a boyfriend saying he never jerked off. He was using that as an excuse to get into my pants mind you so maybe that was part of the story. But it was almost childlike the way he would vehemently deny it if it ever came up with me or even his friends. They were all like that.

I mentioned this to my next boyfriend and he basically guffawed. His response was "absolutely 100% bullshit, we all jerk off, or at least the vast majority of us do." Most guys I know now would freely admit that they masturbate. It is natural. But I notice that whenever a have talked to a guy who says he doesn't he says so in a very defensive way....in that same self-conscious way as my teenage boyfriend.

Especially in the Catholic context I think you are dealing with a very specific and pervasive cultural context that demands compliance. It is a near certainty that even if he did masturbate he wouldn't admit it. So the denial is suspect at a minimum. The more aggressive the denial, the more likely he is hiding something.

I think you're right. When I first started dating my now ex, he had a Playboy magazine on the back of his toilet. When I mentioned it, he denied it. Not sure what he did with it. I never saw it again. He would get very aggressive in his denial. That's how I knew he was lying.

 

[policywank]

I think you're right. When I first started dating my now ex, he had a Playboy magazine on the back of his toilet. When I mentioned it, he denied it. Not sure what he did with it. I never saw it again. He would get very aggressive in his denial. That's how I knew he was lying.

Would you have cared if you knew he was masturbating?

I remember not being sure what to think of it. When I dated the guy who denied it I sort of thought ok I guess guys find it gross and it didn’t appeal to me to think about a guy masturbating but it also didn’t seem like a big deal. When the next bf told me “ya most of us do it” that seemed a lot more natural to me.

I mean I was hardly an expert but I enjoyed touching myself by then so it suddenly seemed juvenile to deny oneself a bit of pleasure. And the 2nd bf’s casual embrace of it gave me a picture of a guy naturally enjoying stimulation (not unlike myself) rather than a horny little perv stroking at every opportunity.

 

[Jada59]

Would you have cared if you knew he was masturbating?

I remember not being sure what to think of it. When I dated the guy who denied it I sort of thought ok I guess guys find it gross and it didn’t appeal to me to think about a guy masturbating but it also didn’t seem like a big deal. When the next bf told me “ya most of us do it” that seemed a lot more natural to me.

I mean I was hardly an expert but I enjoyed touching myself by then so it suddenly seemed juvenile to deny oneself a bit of pleasure. And the 2nd bf’s casual embrace of it gave me a picture of a guy naturally enjoying stimulation (not unlike myself) rather than a horny little perv stroking at every opportunity.

I wouldn't have. But... I once attempted to masturbate in front of him and he made a big horking deal of it, screaming that it was disgusting and telling me never to do it again. This happened long after I found the magazine.

Another thing that was weird... After we married, he would sit around in boxer shorts, watching TV. He would take his cock out and sort of hold it in his hand and tap on it. It was soft. He even did it when we had company over. When he did it, he looked kind f spaced out. It was like he didn't know he was doing it. I'd tell him to stop and he'd just tuck it back in like it was nothing,

 

[HoldYouDown]

When I was young I remember that a lot of boys were embarrassed by it and pretended that they never jerked off.

I recall even in my late teens a boyfriend saying he never jerked off. He was using that as an excuse to get into my pants mind you so maybe that was part of the story. But it was almost childlike the way he would vehemently deny it if it ever came up with me or even his friends. They were all like that.

I mentioned this to my next boyfriend and he basically guffawed. His response was "absolutely 100% bullshit, we all jerk off, or at least the vast majority of us do." Most guys I know now would freely admit that they masturbate. It is natural. But I notice that whenever a have talked to a guy who says he doesn't he says so in a very defensive way....in that same self-conscious way as my teenage boyfriend.

Especially in the Catholic context I think you are dealing with a very specific and pervasive cultural context that demands compliance. It is a near certainty that even if he did masturbate he wouldn't admit it. So the denial is suspect at a minimum. The more aggressive the denial, the more likely he is hiding something.

It's possible he was telling the truth. If you'd asked me in high school I would have said I didn't, and it would have been true (sadly - the fun I missed out on...). And I might have gotten defensive about it because it's a very personal and potentially humiliating subject for some people.

I think it's because male masturbation is often played for laughs, and there's the pressure of feeling like a loser who can't get girls if you're jerking off. That's not reality, of course, but perception (and self-perception) is powerful when you're a teen or young adult. And then of course there's the "sin" factor for some people.

I would take anyone at their word, but simply make it clear that there's no shame in it (and maybe that they're missing out, hahah).

Well, the other day a female friend asked me if I'd ever been caught doing it, and I said "no, I wish..." I'm glad my outlook is healthier now.

 

[HampshireBoy]

I suspect it comes under the general heading Carnal Desires or Pleasures of the Flesh - and is therefore "officially" frowned upon by the Church for whom the business of sex is simply procreation of the species within the bounds of wedlock?

A friend of mine had a very religious mother who kept on about sex was only for within marriage and then only to create children, seems to be one of the main reasons my friend's father left. However I think her mother never even thought that girls might masturbate so she never said anything about this to my friend. My friend's brother was subjected to repeated lectures on the sins of self abuse.

 

[Male4Strapon]

When I was young I remember that a lot of boys were embarrassed by it and pretended that they never jerked off.

I recall even in my late teens a boyfriend saying he never jerked off. He was using that as an excuse to get into my pants mind you so maybe that was part of the story. But it was almost childlike the way he would vehemently deny it if it ever came up with me or even his friends. They were all like that.

I mentioned this to my next boyfriend and he basically guffawed. His response was "absolutely 100% bullshit, we all jerk off, or at least the vast majority of us do." Most guys I know now would freely admit that they masturbate. It is natural. But I notice that whenever a have talked to a guy who says he doesn't he says so in a very defensive way....in that same self-conscious way as my teenage boyfriend.

Especially in the Catholic context I think you are dealing with a very specific and pervasive cultural context that demands compliance. It is a near certainty that even if he did masturbate he wouldn't admit it. So the denial is suspect at a minimum. The more aggressive the denial, the more likely he is hiding something.

Yea I don’t think that is/was exclusive to catholic boys. When I was a teen, no guy would ever admit that. It was something shameful and pathetic to be accused of, not because it was against religion but more a sign that you couldn’t get laid or at least get a girl to do it for you.