Masturbation is wrong?

[AsianFusion]

Wrong?

"Is this really a Catholic thing? ... Is this really frowned upon?"

It came under "Impure Deeds" and we were fed a formidable barrage of 'anti' propaganda, all wrapped in religiosity. There were also "Impure Thoughts". The nuns were very big on "Impure".

 

[ericrodman101]

My upbringing wasn't particularly religious, but I was still fed all that guilt about masturbation being unnatural. So mine was surreptitious and secretive at first, with the fear of being caught or making a mess and leaving stains. At least I wasn't sent to boarding school. I remember a guy telling me that at his school they were instructed to sleep on their right sides, the arguments being that sleeping on your left side strained the heart, on your back strained the lungs, and on your front stimulated the cock resulting in masturbation.

I remember some of the early sex education material I was given described masturbation as lazy and destructive. The guy next door and I used the sketches in the sex ed book to arouse us when we hid out in the shed in his backyard and mutually masturbated. The only sin worse than touching your own cock was touching someone else's, but hey, the damage is done now.

 

[policywank]

It's possible he was telling the truth. If you'd asked me in high school I would have said I didn't, and it would have been true (sadly - the fun I missed out on...). And I might have gotten defensive about it because it's a very personal and potentially humiliating subject for some people.

I think it's because male masturbation is often played for laughs, and there's the pressure of feeling like a loser who can't get girls if you're jerking off. That's not reality, of course, but perception (and self-perception) is powerful when you're a teen or young adult. And then of course there's the "sin" factor for some people.

I would take anyone at their word, but simply make it clear that there's no shame in it (and maybe that they're missing out, hahah).

Well, the other day a female friend asked me if I'd ever been caught doing it, and I said "no, I wish..." I'm glad my outlook is healthier now.

I understand what you are saying. And I agree with the context. But that is why a typical male denial is largely meaningless. At the age and in that time most guys felt that they had no choice but to deny so the veracity of the denial is diminished.

In general, whether or not I take someone at their word on any given topic is a function of whether or not their answer matters to me.

For the vast majority of men it is simply none of my business whether or not they masturbate. I probably wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. But if it came up, I'd have no reason to do anything but take them at their word.

But if the guy was a prospective lover it would matter to me. That is not to say that masturbating is a pre-requisite to dating me, lol. But if a guy feels compelled to be dishonest with me about it that does speak to how good of a fit we might be sexually. So I won't just accept it at face value if there is reason to believe he isn't being honest.

If the guy was a couples therapist his view on the topic would matter to me. If he felt the need to mislead me and especially if he recoil in disgust at the notion I would have to question whether he can be open-minded about counselling a couple through sexual matters.

 

[MaryanneB]

After 12 years of Catholic school a million years ago, I will attest to the teaching that masturbation was sited as a SIN!!! I remember a priest ponding a prayer book in the palm of hand saying that "any pleasure you get from any sexual contact outside of marriage is a mortal sin". That included wet dreams, being turned on by photos etc etc etc.
Bullshit. It drove so many away from the religion.

 

[JonBHappy]

After 12 years of Catholic school a million years ago, I will attest to the teaching that masturbation was sited as a SIN!!! I remember a priest ponding a prayer book in the palm of hand saying that "any pleasure you get from any sexual contact outside of marriage is a mortal sin". That included wet dreams, being turned on by photos etc etc etc.
Bullshit. It drove so many away from the religion.

It also seems so contrary to what our bodies tell us!

 

[HoldYouDown]

For the vast majority of men it is simply none of my business whether or not they masturbate. I probably wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. But if it came up, I'd have no reason to do anything but take them at their word.

It's the first question I ask everyone. I get punched in the face a lot.

 

[Boldagain]

I do think it is interesting that people refer to this as a Catholic thing when in reality many religions frown upon it. Yes, it can be looked upon as sinful in the Catholic Church but also many mainline Protestant churches as well as non Christian religions. The more interesting question to me is why did so many religions and cultures believe that? Yes, there are some that didn’t and don’t but many do. Ultimately, rather than bashing a religion, there is a cultural aspect that I believe also promotes anti-masturbation. In addition, the medical community and many philosophers used to think it led to all sorts of mental and emotional issues. It’s been looked upon as a stain for a long time by many types of people not just the religious.

 

[ears1980]

You’re right -

- it’s common to many religions, and it would seem that it’s another element of the control that is central to religion.

 

[AlwaysInTrouble]

While I'm a proponent of religious (and all individual) freedom(s) and won't make fun of anyone's beliefs, the Monty Python boys really skewer this aspect of Catholicism in 'The Meaning of Life'

https://youtu.be/bzVHjg3AqIQ

 

[jehoram]

I wouldn't have. But... I once attempted to masturbate in front of him and he made a big horking deal of it, screaming that it was disgusting and telling me never to do it again.

Honey, you can masturbate in front of me any time, and I wouldn't mind it a bit.

I think that the sight of a woman's face as she pleasures herself is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So different from the sight of a man's orgasm.

 

[jehoram]

The sin of self indulgence is what you are supposed to call it in the confessional.

I knew that there was some sort of euphemism for it, but I'd forgotten what it was. If I had heard the phrase "choking the chicken" or "spanking the monkey" back in those days, I would have been tempted to use it.

 

[doowdniw]

I wouldn't have. But... I once attempted to masturbate in front of him and he made a big horking deal of it, screaming that it was disgusting and telling me never to do it again. This happened long after I found the magazine.

Another thing that was weird... After we married, he would sit around in boxer shorts, watching TV. He would take his cock out and sort of hold it in his hand and tap on it. It was soft. He even did it when we had company over. When he did it, he looked kind f spaced out. It was like he didn't know he was doing it. I'd tell him to stop and he'd just tuck it back in like it was nothing,

Sounds like Ex had some major hangups. Maybe it's good for you that he is an Ex. But you are the only one to be the judge of that.

 

[Asian_Flower]

It was the whole Asian morality thing that made me very naive about these things. Growing up it was always about no sex before marriage, keeping yourself pure etc etc. Bad girls would play around with boys before they were married yada yada. I was terrified of pregnancy even before I had a boyfriend. I was so naive it was ridiculous. I guess I ended up being the classic late bloomer, which I made up for in later years!

 

[Jada59]

Thanks for all the answers!

 

[policywank]

It's the first question I ask everyone. I get punched in the face a lot.

Lol. Well I guess that is one way to break the ice.

 

[Jada59]

Do what you feel comfortable doing it’s your body your life ! Make yourself happy you can’t please everyone

I always do!

 

[Ziggins]

People radiate and absorb various types of energy, and probably radiate more during sex. Masturbation is sex without energy absorption. That may gradually wear a body down, like running an engine with low oil pressure.

 

[policywank]

People radiate and absorb various types of energy, and probably radiate more during sex. Masturbation is sex without energy absorption. That may gradually wear a body down, like running an engine with low oil pressure.

I prefer to think of masturbation as being analogous to introspection. It is time alone to find one's own pleasure, explore it and contemplate it free of outside pressure. Of course I don't want to be alone all the time, but moments of solitude looking inward are very beneficial.

The narrative of sexual pleasure (including masturbation) as sin is part of a control dynamic perpetuated by those who benefit from controlling us. They try to punish us for non-compliance then claim that the negative consequences are due to our indulgence rather than punishment they mete out in their thirst for control.

 

[jaF0]

The church (Catholic) was against it and so was he.

Is this really a Catholic thing?

Is this really frowned upon?

Are Catholics ignorant assholes?


Yes.

 

[Benzboy]

Congratulations

I prefer to think of masturbation as being analogous to introspection. It is time alone to find one's own pleasure, explore it and contemplate it free of outside pressure. Of course I don't want to be alone all the time, but moments of solitude looking inward are very beneficial.

The narrative of sexual pleasure (including masturbation) as sin is part of a control dynamic perpetuated by those who benefit from controlling us. They try to punish us for non-compliance then claim that the negative consequences are due to our indulgence rather than punishment they mete out in their thirst for control.

Your thesis is sound. I confer the title “Doctor of Self Satisfaction”.

 

[jehoram]

Are Catholics ignorant assholes?


Yes.

Not all of them. Some subscribe to some of the tenets of the Church and ignore others. That's why Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi, both Catholics, endorse gay marriage, abortion rights, and birth control (all of which subjects Jesus had absolutely nothing to say about).

Like other Christian sects (and not a few Muslim ones), they tend to pick and choose those elements that they find reasonable rather than try to subscribe to a strict adherence to a body of faith that itself contains so many internal contradictions that complete observance is impossible.

I know a lot of good Catholics, people I trust to do the right and moral thing. Whether or not they believe in the Virgin Birth or the Resurrection is not my concern. They believe in feeding the hungry, telling the truth, and not making moral judgements about people who don't share their Catholic faith.

 

[policywank]

Not all of them. Some subscribe to some of the tenets of the Church and ignore others. That's why Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi, both Catholics, endorse gay marriage, abortion rights, and birth control (all of which subjects Jesus had absolutely nothing to say about).

Like other Christian sects (and not a few Muslim ones), they tend to pick and choose those elements that they find reasonable rather than try to subscribe to a strict adherence to a body of faith that itself contains so many internal contradictions that complete observance is impossible.

I know a lot of good Catholics, people I trust to do the right and moral thing. Whether or not they believe in the Virgin Birth or the Resurrection is not my concern. They believe in feeding the hungry, telling the truth, and not making moral judgements about people who don't share their Catholic faith.

I think that if you read the texts that underpin the Christian religion the main point is the Golden Rule - treat others the way you would like to be treated. It is the individual denominations and groups who layered on all kinds of rules and read into what was written to impose their interpretation onto others.

All variations on Christianity (and many other religions I expect) have some rules which they trace back to scripture that is not at all clear or is contradicted by other passages. They all pick and choose their own preferred emphasis.

 

[jaF0]

Some of the churchies I've known have been some of the most demented perviest pervs I've known.

Fuck religion.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I do think it is interesting that people refer to this as a Catholic thing when in reality many religions frown upon it. Yes, it can be looked upon as sinful in the Catholic Church but also many mainline Protestant churches as well as non Christian religions. The more interesting question to me is why did so many religions and cultures believe that? Yes, there are some that didn’t and don’t but many do. Ultimately, rather than bashing a religion, there is a cultural aspect that I believe also promotes anti-masturbation. In addition, the medical community and many philosophers used to think it led to all sorts of mental and emotional issues. It’s been looked upon as a stain for a long time by many types of people not just the religious.

Bingo.

The belief that masturbation was bad was almost universal in European and N. American societies, ‘bad’ meaning both sinful and definitely unhealthy. Islamic and Jewish commentators have been split on the subject, with some considering it sinful.

Mainstream medical journals ran articles in the 1800s claiming it led to insanity. The old Boy Scout handbook strongly advised against it. As a curious child, I looked it up in my father’s big dictionary, the font of all knowledge, to find the entry limited to, “ self-abuse.” The US Surgeon General was essentially fired in 1994 for, among other things, suggesting that masturbation should be taught in schools.

Yes, the Catholic Church was agin it, but they had a lot of company.

 

[bhurry]

It’s a damm good thing that masturbation is not wrong, or id constantly be going to hell. I discover it when I was very young and haven’t stopped doing it. My husband likes to watch me do it. How many like to watch their husband or wife masturbate?
Dee

Dee. I assure you we would get to know each other quite well in Hell. For sure on a first name basis. Be there each and every day.