❓ PLP Inquires❓

[beachbaby179]

Just gonna leave this here. Chocolate goes with EVERYTHING, apparently.

https://blog.foodpairing.com/2015/03/5-easy-chocolate-pairings-to-try-at-home/

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Chocolate and whisky

 

[BadAmy]

Chocolate and coffee.
Not stirred together..
But take a sip....take a nibble.

Fuuuuuck.

 

[Mr_Underground]

Chocolate and Cheese muh fuckas!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

I am rather locked down. About the only glimmer of who I am talking to is what you can see on boards. Even that is in little ways like "have you every talked dirty with the previous poster" or something. Now, unique but not overly important things that we discussed may come up on the boards or in other private conversations, but then I reference "someone", not the actual person. "Someone sent me a link to this comedian yesterday, I think he is funny." "Someone thought this pose could be fun, so let's find out." "Oh, someone told me a story about a private chat with this chick once and little did he know, as it turns out, she planned to bring her real life boyfriend in the room too and it just got more and more awkward from there. You just never can tell what a litster will bring into a video chat, fingers crossed it isn't too weird, an they give a little warning first" If "someone" wants to out themselves, they can chime in to that conversation.

I am probably more locked down than I need to be, but you never can tell. Something that I think seems rather mundane might be something they don't want shared. Even as much as simply talking with me in general, they might not want that known to lit. If I know your birthday because you told me in a private message, I wish you a happy birthday privately because maybe you don't like people knowing. Now, if you post on "have you talked dirty with the previous poster" you open yourself up to a yes or no answer from anyone, including myself. Otherwise, even the most mundane of details that I reveal because it is relevant to a conversation at hand is revealed as coming from "someone".

Even if I engage pointless gossip, it get watered down with "someone" and my personal take. like a guy tells me about an argument with a specific chick, and someone has mentioned this chick and her temper before I might be like "yeah, someone told me she has a mean streak, like crazy mean. Of course, the dude that said it is kind of an asshole. I could totally see him saying something really fucking dumb on a day she was already primed and ready to blow, thus setting her off, and then being all what, I didn't do anything. You know how the rumor mill is, there are always two sides"

Anyway, yes, apparently, I talk with that litster "someone" all the time.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

Comments here or there in the follow-the-leader "Have You" threads where I acknowledge having spoken (or more) to someone are one thing.

But I never reference others in a private conversation without an extremely specific reason, and that is EXTREMELY narrowly-defined, and would be limited to something publically posted on Lit.

I would never ever ever divulge anything about another person, up to and including a real name if I might know it, or anything else. I'm a dick sometimes (depending on your point-of-view that might be upgraded to "more-often-than-not"), but my discretion is 100% inviolable. Period.

If you talk to me, whatever is said is locked down and I'm not going to share it. Ever. I don't care if it's intensely-personal, sordid stuff or what you had for lunch today.

Having had mutual friends over the years, that has been hard to juggle sometimes - but that's been my rule. And I'm not gonna violate it unless there's a threat or I'm legitmately concerned for someone's well-being.

That's not to sound self-righteous. It's just my own code. If you trust me enough to talk to me privately, I'm going to try show myself worthy of that trust.

 

[AveryElle]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

I tend to not ever use real names when I’m discussing litsters. I don’t even really use my lit partner’s real name when talking to mutual friends. Other people’s shit, unless discussed with a mutual close friend, aren’t topics of conversation either. Sometimes we briefly discuss the drama. But everyone knows who my partner is and who I’m friends with, and probably knows who I don’t really like either.

That said, if someone is talking mad shit about a friend, I’ll tell them. Or if I found out someone is a lying bastard, I’ll call it out to them or their partner. But only if I actually have some sort of relationship with that person.

There’s waaaay too much drama here (cough litties cough) to put oneself in the middle of if you are that type of person.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

I'm happy to acknowledge my acquaintances on the boards when we cross paths, but I'm pretty mum about who I'm spending quality time with.

If there's a reason for me to share information about them, it's either going to be with a trusted mutual acquaintance, or I'll do it without using their name, as others have already mentioned.

That being said - I don't want to be friends with any one who I can't publicly recognize on the boards and I'm very skeptical of those who keep their friendships and relationships a secret. Call me jaded, but those things never end well.

Agreed. There's a difference between being appropriately discreet, and being secretive.

I've had two partners that fit into this category. The first didn't want anyone to know we were having sexy times together, to which my thought was, 'What the hell? Everybody already knows you're a man-whore anyway.'

The second ripped me a new one when i posted something super vague about him using my own code name for him that i hadn't shared with anyone. I don't know what his problem was, he'd known me long enough that he should've known that i wasn't going to go advertising our relationship in public. He had some intimacy issues, but god, i was crazy for him.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

That being said - I don't want to be friends with any one who I can't publicly recognize on the boards and I'm very skeptical of those who keep their friendships and relationships a secret. Call me jaded, but those things never end well.

Agreed. There's a difference between being appropriately discreet, and being secretive.

I've had two partners that fit into this category. The first didn't want anyone to know we were having sexy times together, to which my thought was, 'What the hell? Everybody already knows you're a man-whore anyway.'

The second ripped me a new one when i posted something super vague about him using my own code name for him that i hadn't shared with anyone. I don't know what his problem was, he'd known me long enough that he should've known that i wasn't going to go advertising our relationship in public. He had some intimacy issues, but god, i was crazy for him.

very valid points, Though for me, I think it can be very hard to tell and understand others' lines and reasoning between discrete and secretive. Their level of discretion may be more extreme than others but I don't automatically assume secretive. I know my "normal meter" is broken in terms of "discretion". I am an exhibitionist, that is not something my people are known for. I overshare myself in many ways. Hence, in relation to other people, I overcompensate the other way. I don't really know if they are being secretive, or if I am then being secretive. To me, it is just more about me trying to respect others personal concept of discretion when I know it is concept I don't really follow. However, since discretion doesn't much matter to me, it might very much matter to them, it seems I should follow the path of what matters more to someone, thus lean the other way.

Why would Wild honey's man-whore give a fuck if someone knows she is yet another? Why would her guy with issues freak over vague and somewhat mundane? I don't understand it, it doesn't make sense to me, but I leave the possibility that this is somehow their idea of discretion, and clearly it matters to them. Like, I am not hiding anything for myself, but maybe I do come off as secretive. I am just trying to show a level of respect to them in that I understand we may likely not share the same concepts of discretion, thus I adhere to the most strict concept that seems reasonable.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

02.17.20

How private do you like to keep your interactions on Lit?
I dont mean with your own information but how open are you about who you interact with, how open you are with their info, or information that may affect them?

Thanks to all who have answered. I think it's been really interesting and genuine.

As far as how private I am with who I interact with. I'm not. If we're friends, I'll probably mention you at some point. I have nothing to hide and don't really want to be friends with someone who wants to hide me. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with that in a long time.

How private am I with other peoples information? Well I'm not going to lie and say I never talk about anyone - because I just did a complete run down of the Littles last night. But do I share secrets, personal information, or gossip? No. Am I perfect? No. But I can say I've never shared anything with malicious intent. I'm very private with my personal stuff and I try to treat other people's information with that same respect.

I do acknowledge that there is a hierarchy though. There are a few people who I hold very close to my heart and, even if we are friends, if I think something might hurt one of them. I may give a vague heads up to protect them. I think that's pretty reasonable. This has been limited to only two instances that I can think of and both with good reason. If I know something that may hurt my friend but has no purpose in letting them know (aka someone said something about or your bf tried it on with her but she didn't take the offer) then I don't share because there is no point and I'm not trying to start drama.

Mainly, I treat people how I expect to be treated but ultimately, I think we are the best guards of our information.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

02.20.20

Are you good at admitting when you're wrong, apologizing, and self-correcting?
Do you get defensive when someone points something out?
Do you offer the same space for forgiveness and redemption to other that you expect? Does this differ between Lit and Life.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

02.20.20

Are you good at admitting when you're wrong, apologizing, and self-correcting?
Do you get defensive when someone points something out?
Do you offer the same space for forgiveness and redemption to other that you expect? Does this differ between Lit and Life.

I could truly write a book on this topic.

I'm not going to.

You're all welcome.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

02.20.20

Are you good at admitting when you're wrong, apologizing, and self-correcting?
Do you get defensive when someone points something out?
Do you offer the same space for forgiveness and redemption to other that you expect? Does this differ between Lit and Life.

good questions.

I believe I am very good at admitting when I am wrong, as I believe nothing is black and white, life happens in the grey, points of view change, etc. I change my opinion, point of view, and feelings on topics all the time. If I no longer feel that I am going with the most correct option, I change it. I apologize freely and often, maybe too often. I apologize to furniture I bump in to, for being in someone's way, for everything under the sun. I should count how many times I say I'm sorry in a day one of these days. Self-correcting is the question. All I can say for sure is I try to try.

No, I do not get defensive when someone points something out. More often I see it too and agree.

Do I offer the same space for forgiveness and redemption to others that I expect? Honestly, I barely understand the question. I almost never have something I need to "forgive". People rarely just do things for the whole purpose of trying to hurt me. Most "hurt" people feel was an action by someone else that has nothing to do with the person feeling hurt. I am not hurt by you doing what is best for you because it was not best for me. That isn't your job, and you are not responsible for my feelings, I am. I do not need time to forgive as there is nothing to forgive. There is nothing to redeem. If you ask for space to forgive me, I am happy to not talk to you, but it is not something I expect or offer. I can not recall anything in the past 25 years that I feel truly "wronged" by. I have nothing to forgive someone for, even if they felt the did something wrong and apologized. I accept, but see it as being offered as a sign of respect and acknowledgment same as if they had bumped into me accidentally. If you feel wronged and you expect space, you will have to tell me. I don't believe I differ much on this between Lit and life.

 

[Dribble]

02.20.20

Are you good at admitting when you're wrong, apologizing, and self-correcting?
Do you get defensive when someone points something out?
Do you offer the same space for forgiveness and redemption to other that you expect? Does this differ between Lit and Life.

I like to think I am. But an opinion, is just that...there is no right or wrong. My ex, expected an apology for anything she didnt agree with. One reason she is my ex. I have a very difficult time apologizing when there is an expectation. Let me come to my own decision. Or else you will get a sorry ( see below)

Am I defensive? I can be. I think everyone has their moments.

What i cant stand is the use of "sorry" to make something go away. It is just a word...with no intent or compassion. If I am wrong...I like to say I am wrong. I can be sorry you are experiencing what you are...I am so sorry you are hurting...

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

 

[Paul_Chance]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

"If in the end, you only find one special one
then I've thrown diamonds in the sand,
yes I've thrown down diamonds in the sand.:
-Warren Zevon

I was telling a friend of mine a few months back that I am the third spear carrier from the left. I don't get the girl. I get killed in the second act. Knowing that gives me a tremendous amount of freedom.

I'm good with being part of the pack - because every day in this life is special, in some way. Every relationship, no matter how fleeting, is special in some way. Life is a series of moment, loosely tied by the arrow of time, which only travels in one direction. When every moment is special - then you don't fall into the "special" trap. If you have no special moment, then you never have to worry about losing that specialness.

 

[AlpineFresco]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

OK, this is an interesting question.

In non-romantic relationships, I'm really not bothered at all. There are so many people you could talk to, if you're talking/hanging out with me then it's because of the specifics of how our personalities match, or that we find it's fun to do whatever activity it is together, so that's all good - and it doesn't bother me at all that other people are just as much/more fun in that way/other ways. I don't expect to be very special, but if we don't give each other time at some point there's not really a friendship. Just value me as an individual.

Otherwise? Yeah, if other partners are involved then I already know I am special in some way (you certainly don't have to give me time, but you choose to), but I will confess here I do like to know what they like about me.

I want to go and think more about this one.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

oh another question, good. I like your questions.

This is a difficult question, and I don't mean because of the phrasing, but because I believe it is fundamentally flawed. Obviously, in a significant other relationship, there is a very large amount of special, but even in a friend or group of friends and even in a big pack, I think every relationship that has lasted any significant amount of time will have that "specialness". Every friend has an assortment of things that make each person special. Maybe it is humor, strength, intelligence, thoughtfulness, good listener, problem solver, the one who encourages spontaneity, they one who always has everything planned and keeps it all together, the one who can always produce a photo of any event ever even if it was 20 years ago, the one who knows everyone's birthdays and anniversaries and hell the pets' birthdays, the one with the fashion sense, the one who can motivate, or something else, I could keep going and going. In most friendships, there are many things that makes that friend special, maybe less in new as those things are less as they tend to develop. However in one that has stood up to time a bit, it is there. Relationships are a 2-way street and take time and effort to maintain. There is a reason the effort is being put in. It wouldn't be lasting if it wasn't. If you can't identify what makes you special in that relationship, you probably have a bit of a perception problem and should maybe try asking the friend(s) for a reality check, because you are missing something and not seeing either the details or the big picture. Even in the pack, each one is there for reasons.

 

[Dribble]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

To say it isnt important, would be a lie. But I get it...I am not the only friend people lean on. I am grateful for pics...or a txt...it shows I am valued. But I dont need to see a naked pic, if everyone else is too. I rather just see a day to day pic any day. A pic of just life.

 

[French75]

Doesn’t everyone want to feel special? The “special” I most like is when she cares about me more than she cares about anyone else.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

02.24.20

I have a question that I cant quite phrase correctly. So take it where you want folks!

How important is the feeling of "specialness" to you in a relationship? That "I'm the only one who does x for her." "I'm the horror movie friend" or "I'm the one person he checks in with on the weekends" feeling.
Does feel less "special" make you feel less significant? Or are you good being one of the pack?

Again... rephrase and answer how you will!

I'm fine being one of the pack. It's safer there, and easier to be unnoticed and silent if I want to be.

Chasing that "special" feeling is one of the ways to be most vulnerable in this world.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

02.26.20

You must choose...

Appetizer OR dessert?

https://media.giphy.com/media/RfZ4xqDHnNqKD8Ajy7/giphy.gif​

 

[AlpineFresco]

02.26.20

You must choose...

Appetizer OR dessert?

https://media.giphy.com/media/RfZ4xqDHnNqKD8Ajy7/giphy.gif​

Depends what they are! I've been to places with delicious appetisers and awful desserts, and vice-versa. In general? Depends on the main meal!

Be more specific

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Depends what they are! I've been to places with delicious appetisers and awful desserts, and vice-versa. In general? Depends on the main meal!

Be more specific

I refuse! It's the idea not the specific.