💋 Open Relationships and Open Minds 💋

[Shi_One81]

I haven’t seen a thread on here for people in open relationships/marriages. If there is one and I missed it, my apologies.

My marriage has been open since we started dating. I was in the Lifestyle before we met, so when we met I told him about everything which included that I am a non-monogamous. This worked for him because one of his biggest kinks is to see me with another man or if he can’t see me, he likes hearing about it.

We’ve been to swinger parties and some of our close friends know we’re open.

What about you? What’s your dynamic and how do you make it work?

 

[roseburgsteve]

like you Shi me and my wife are very open. and i love sharing her with other men with me there or hearing about it later.we been swinging sense we got together. as of late though it has slowed way down. i am hoping after the new year it will change, we are moving the last boy out to Illinois new years eve. we will be driving there and back. now we will have a empty nest and hopes to start our swinging again.

 

[MKvDeepSea]

I haven’t seen a thread on here for people in open relationships/marriages. If there is one and I missed it, my apologies.

My marriage has been open since we started dating. I was in the Lifestyle before we met, so when we met I told him about everything which included that I am a non-monogamous. This worked for him because one of his biggest kinks is to see me with another man or if he can’t see me, he likes hearing about it.

We’ve been to swinger parties and some of our close friends know we’re open.

What about you? What’s your dynamic and how do you make it work?

Hey Shi_One81,

My wife and I opened our marriage in the spring of 1978. I had re-entered the military and she was back in college. We were both free to have sex with others and both of us took advantage of it. Of course she was much better at getting laid than I was. She was in college surrounded by young college age guys and being a nude model for the life drawing class helped. I was at a military base.

We were always honest and told each other about our adventures in detail. I've written a series of stories about our, mostly her, adventures. Somewhere in the mid-1980's it fizzled out. Both of us were happier with each other than others and the lure of naughtiness had worn off. We're now in our late sixties and have been married for close to forty-eight years.

Take care and be safe.

 

[OldFred65]

I haven’t seen a thread on here for people in open relationships/marriages. If there is one and I missed it, my apologies.

My marriage has been open since we started dating. I was in the Lifestyle before we met, so when we met I told him about everything which included that I am a non-monogamous. This worked for him because one of his biggest kinks is to see me with another man or if he can’t see me, he likes hearing about it.

We’ve been to swinger parties and some of our close friends know we’re open.

What about you? What’s your dynamic and how do you make it work?

We opened our marriage shortly after our kids left home. First we became nudists, then we invited friends to join us. Nudity led to sex, and now we have included our kids and their spouses as well.

 

[Shi_One81]

like you Shi me and my wife are very open. and i love sharing her with other men with me there or hearing about it later.we been swinging sense we got together. as of late though it has slowed way down. i am hoping after the new year it will change, we are moving the last boy out to Illinois new years eve. we will be driving there and back. now we will have a empty nest and hopes to start our swinging again.

Wave if you drive through Iowa!

 

[luckyseven]

We opened our marriage shortly after our kids left home. First, we became nudists, then we invited friends to join us. Nudity led to sex, and now we have included our kids and their spouses as well.

We were always open-minded to an open relationship. Indeed, as we often worked away from home we both enjoyed sex with other partners knowing that we had no jealousy and a strong relationship that could cope with non-monogamous sexual encounters.

We have always been keen social nudists and took many clothes-free holidays when the kids were with us.

But as OldFred has said you became more open when you become 'empty nesters'. So with some of our like-minded social nudist friends, we became much less sexually inhibited by exploring multi-partner sex and our own bi-sexuality.

Everything we do is consensual so the possibilities are really down to how far we want to go and with whom we want to involve.

 

[blade_rocknut]

We're not open, per se; but do have a bit of swap/ leaning toward poly background. My mindset is more in line with poly than hers,but she introduced me to the lifestyle, and we've done a bit together.

I'm all for extracurricular activities in solid relationships.

 

[luckyseven]

I'm all for extracurricular activities in solid relationships.

Yes, totally agree. Too many risks if the relationship isn't solid. But until you both try it you won't know for sure so discuss fully with your partner as once done it can't be undone.

 

[SissySalina]

She is free to do what ever She wants, has always been that way in this relationship. Normally She tells of Her adventures, She could keep them to Herself if She wished but She enjoys telling of them. There are times when sissy participates or watches, as She desires.

 

[Justfantasies]

All my relationships have been open since my teenage years and I am in my 60s now

 

[draconus_infernus]

We’ve been open our entire sixteen year marriage, and polyamorous nearly that long. Having that extra emotional support system is a wonderful thing. However, having your spouse and both girlfriends all ganging up on you to get you to do things you don’t want to do - like go to the doctor - can be a bit of a pain.

They mean well and they love me. I just suck at taking care of myself is all.

 

[stepdog]

would like open

My wife and I go out drinking and dancing most weekends. I joke if we get separated just be home by Tuesday. However I do dream alot.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

I haven’t seen a thread on here for people in open relationships/marriages. If there is one and I missed it, my apologies.

My marriage has been open since we started dating. I was in the Lifestyle before we met, so when we met I told him about everything which included that I am a non-monogamous. This worked for him because one of his biggest kinks is to see me with another man or if he can’t see me, he likes hearing about it.

We’ve been to swinger parties and some of our close friends know we’re open.

What about you? What’s your dynamic and how do you make it work?

We have been in some form of sharing relationship in our entire time together. Well documented here both in our stories and my hotwive's thread. Together almost 40 years and married 38. Hasn't always been perfect but no marriage is. Recent activity has been curtailed some by hubby's med issues but still chatting with and 'meeting others for coffee' and getting to know them.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

My wife and I have never been in an open relationship but she has always been free to do as she pleases with whomever she would be pleased to do it with--, so long as she had the nerve to come talk to me about it. Told her this in 1976 and every year since but she still insist on doing shit the old way, slipping down the alleyway...
As how do we make it work, welllll--, her and her six unauthorized suitors are still waiting the results of their escapades.
She likes to think she knows about revenge--,
when I came up on the street one of the first things I learned was 'patience and the Long Game'.

 

[Mtnmike]

We have been in some form of sharing relationship in our entire time together. Well documented here both in our stories and my hotwive's thread. Together almost 40 years and married 38. Hasn't always been perfect but no marriage is. Recent activity has been curtailed some by hubby's med issues but still chatting with and 'meeting others for coffee' and getting to know them.

That's so nice, to have a partner that you can share everything with, awesome.

 

[MilkFountain]

A normal 21st-century marriage . . .

I haven’t seen a thread on here for people in open relationships/marriages. . . .

What about you? What’s your dynamic and how do you make it work?

You express yourself well. Which, for the first time, allows me to try to describe my and my wife's relationship--without feeling that I'm in the wrong place.

We met when she was 22 and I was 29. Our dynamic was ordinary: she was what any man or woman would call eye-candy. I sometimes felt insecure. I was jealous of her and possessive, she felt secure in the home and social scene I provided . . . a nice place where we had friends over, shared meals, had parties. I felt the pull and push of a deepening relationship--enjoying the intimacy with her and repelled by the responsibility. Once, even, I left the house with another, bustier young woman to spend then day in the mountains with her, leaving my SO at home, only to return, not having dared to do anything about my attraction to the busty young lady, to find my woman at home in a thoughtful, circumspect mood. Without explanation needed and without needing any, I somehow knew, I surmised that she had spent the 7 or l8 hours I'd been gone, with someone else, and been intimate with him. None of that thought and feeling rose to my consciousness--and I certainly didn't accept it, since that would have challenged all I thought about the relationship I wanted.

One day, while she and I and a male friend walked together in a woods, looking for morrels, the friend, happy and clearly in love with my woman, put his arm around her, feeling her bottom intimately with one hand while he cupped a breast with the other, massaging the nipple. She protested, clearly uncomfortable, and I forced him to stop. He was a little hurt, a little confused, disappointed and put off.

The sight of his hands on her excited me. In the ensuing years, I talked with her in bed at night about how other men noticed and wanted her, always met with her protests that she wanted only me. We were both locked into a conventional relationship. But as a matter of arousal, as foreplay, I continued, even suggesting ways she could attract more attention when a male friend came to dinner or breakfast. She began to dress as I suggested. We talked later of the effect she'd had on our friend. And slowly, she became an accomplice to my increasingly erotic play with the feelings of visitors and with hers.

After three years or so I noticed that just before she ovulated, she seemed up for anything, listening to the tableau I proposed with eyes that sparkled, smiling and asking what she might wear and what she might say that would arouse a friend, that would open the way for him to see more or for her to offer more.

Then, I noticed that she had taken a shine to one of my university students and that he not only showed reverence for her, but continued great respect for me. I suggested the she phone and invite him to dinner, saying that she wanted to make something special to share with him, and that she wanted to dress especially for him. Unknown to our friend, I hovered near the phone, passing scribbled suggestions to her of what to say. One note, which she read as he was talking to her, said "Ask him if he likes you a lot. Ask him how he would like to see you dressed."

My ear near hers, our heads together, I heard him remind her of the Swiss dirndl he'd seen her wear one morning. It raised her ample breasts prominently onto the shelf of the square-neck bodice. Three days later, the night of the proposed dinner, leaning over the side of the tub, I scrubbed her back and soaped her all over, then watched her stand and shower off the suds. I dried her as she raised her arms overhead, and spray perfumed her tailbone, between her breasts, and her belly--before helping her into the dirndl. What our guest didn't know, was that he'd seen the white cotton blouse insert that modestly covered her breasts, but not yet the one that was thinner. The pink of her areola showed through and rising from the center of each, the rose of her nipples turned the blouse's white fabric, dark.

I called my school secretary, and asked her to be sure to call me at a certain time, to remind me I had an important appointment. . . . and I got a promise from my wife-to-be that, once alone with our guest, if she decided to seduce him, she would signal her decision to me.

When the doorbell rang that evening, I caught up with my wife, kneeled behind her, burrowed my face up under her flouncy dirndl skirt, pulled her panties aside, and buried my face in her bottom, pulling her hips so that she half sat on my face as I kissed the inside of her thighs, sucked and licked between her legs, and then let her go to open the door for our guest.

After piña colada cocktails, we sat to a wonderful homemade dinner. Within a few minutes, the three of us relaxed and please, my wife's eyes flashing and our guest feeling the two cocktails he's drunk and the wine my wife had served, the phone rang. My wife answered, called me to the phone, and returned to the table with our guest.

I apologized, droved two blocks, parked our van on a side street, and walked back to our home. Through the tall French doors that led from the garden to the kitchen, where our dining room table was, I watched my wife and friend finish dinner, take saucers of pie in one hand and their wine in the other, and go to the living room. Instead of drawing out the time, as I feared she would, my wife apparently suggested a massage to our guest, put aside their plates and drinks and, both of them seated, his back turned to her, began massaging him. As I had suggested the night before, she soon excused herself, and I ran around the side of the house to again peer in the French windows to the kitchen.

She passed by, on the way to the bathroom, and I only had to wait two or three minutes until she reappeared . . . as she promised, she paused at the dining room table, gathered up the hem of her skirt in each hand until she could at the same time reach underneath to hook her thumbs in her panties, pushed them down--her signal to me that she had decided to go ahead with her seduction of our guest and, one hand on the edge of the table, lifted one foot until the panties fell free, and then the other, leaving her panties on the edge of the dining room table, half dangling off in plain view of where I was outside.

I had implored my wife on numerous occasions to "Do something that would shock me!" something of her own, a surprise to me. From outside the living room windows I watched her massage his back, lean forward to kiss his neck, watched him turn, watched her turn to to find his cock with her mouth, and watched he seated over his hips, impaled, breasts rhythmically rising and falling as she galloped on him, for nearly an hour.

When I knew it was time for me to reappear, they were still at it--or, rather, she was--and I went back to the car, waited a few minutes, and somewhat noisily parked outside our home, went in the kitchen entrance--where I found her panties gone from the kitchen table--and joined them in the living room.

My wife glowed. They sat side-by-side on the couch, leaving no room for me. I sat in an armchair across from them. To my shock, he was smug, looking archly at me, not at all circumspect or looking guilty, embarrassed or shifty-eyed. Instead, he looked challengingly at me, as if he'd made her his. A night later, I found out why.

My wife, at first smiling but not looking directly at me, suddenly looked mischievous, and with a sly smile, confessed that she "Had let him cum inside of" (her). It was then that she looked directly at me and smiled, letting pride show through--pride that she'd succeeded done what I'd asked, shocked me, had done something on her own, without my suggesting it--and astonished and shocked me.

She had. I was shaking. I couldn't allow myself to be angry at her--she'd done exactly as I'd asked: shocked me, astonished me, surprised me. Still, I remembered his defiant face when I first walked in the living room and found them sitting close, side-by-side. I said, "We'll just have to hope you're not pregnant." She continued looking pleased with herself.

Shocked to my core, I didn't get around to asking the pertinent questions, and I never did.

From that day on, my wife and I elaborated on and continued with increasing love for each other the game that allowed her adventures and gave me respite from sole responsibility for her pleasure and satisfaction. I never feel humiliated. I'm proud of her. She's . . . She's what? I don't know what she thinks or feels. I've come to realize I probably never will.

What do you think she thinks and feels? She seems happy. The other aspects of the life we share are wonderful.

 

[Scareltt]

Great thread!

Hello, my side of our marriage is open. Like a lot of people in “open relationships” we started with a bunch for rules. As things developed I was amazed at how much I was learning about myself. It made me wish I would have done it sooner.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

That's so nice, to have a partner that you can share everything with, awesome.

It really is. It might not work for everyone but it's been good for us for a lotta years.

 

[luckyseven]

Hello, my side of our marriage is open. Like a lot of people in “open relationships” we started with a bunch for rules. As things developed I was amazed at how much I was learning about myself. It made me wish I would have done it sooner.

I agree. We tend to lead conservative lives until we get sexually frustrated and want something else. When you discover that sex doesn't have to be conventional you do have regrets that you wasted time and countless opportunities but I suppose all that frustration is how we now find sex in an open relationship so exhilarating.

 

[LekaSveta]

My wife and I are in a polyamorous marriage, we didn't start that way but made the transition pretty early on in the relationship, well before we were married. Our work schedules are about as opposite as they can get so the arrangement works for us (Usually) We only have a few rules, the main one being that we don't let our other relationships threaten our marriage, and if they do then we end them, the other is that we're always honest with each other about our other relationships, no secrets. We also go about it differently, she prefers longer term romantic extramarital relationships, while I'm on the Friends & Family With Benefits plan, my work schedule makes it hard enough just keeping up with our marriage, much less any other ones. We've had a few hiccups, mostly at first when a lover would start expecting one of us to leave the other for them and not listening when told that was never going to happen. We didn't share at first, but my wife's most recent lover was already poly coming into the relationship so she understood how it works, and we're both quite fond of her. We're not quite a thruple, but it seems to be heading in that direction. Most of my other lover are either poly F&FWB's or one night stands.

 

[CaffeinatedHub45]

Interesting thread. Wife and I are still very new and exploring, but we have had some incredible moments so far. Anyone else surprised at how confident their spouse became after exploring this?

 

[Justfantasies]

Interesting thread. Wife and I are still very new and exploring, but we have had some incredible moments so far. Anyone else surprised at how confident their spouse became after exploring this?

I have had two marriages and both were open. I can’t say that my wives became more confident, but they did become both more enthusiastic about sex with me and others. My first wife was very pretty and had lots of opportunities for sex and took most of them

 

[Justfantasies]

I agree. We tend to lead conservative lives until we get sexually frustrated and want something else. When you discover that sex doesn't have to be conventional you do have regrets that you wasted time and countless opportunities but I suppose all that frustration is how we now find sex in an open relationship so exhilarating.

Some people can be monogamous -- but most of us are polyamorous. Takes a while o understand that though

 

[luckyseven]

Some people can be monogamous -- but most of us are polyamorous. Takes a while o understand that though

For us, fidelity is not sexual exclusivity but an evolving relationship built on trust, honesty, dignity and respect, and above all no possessiveness so we can accept our partner’s significant other as a gain, not a threat.

Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around, but as responses, we explore, understand, and resolve and achieve a feeling of joy sharing and experiencing another's sexual fulfilment.

The compersion we share is akin to being all warm and gooey because your spouse had a great time fucking someone else. Historically, sex has been demonised; it is not something we are socialised to feel. We can be thrilled for our partner if they get a pay raise or promotion, so why can't we be happy for our partners who find joy in bed with someone else?

It took a long time to get to where we are but we have no regrets but equally recognise this isn’t for everyone.

 

[luckyseven]

I have had two marriages and both were open. I can’t say that my wives became more confident, but they did become both more enthusiastic about sex with me and others. My first wife was very pretty and had lots of opportunities for sex and took most of them

I suspect that they were already sexually confident but your open relationship naturally made them (and you) more enthusiastic about partner sharing.

My wife also has lots of opportunities for sex and took most of them. She has the looks, personality and opportunity so I'm happy for her.