How would you fuck a watermelon? Let's discuss

[AbsintheFather]

In the spirit of the season, here you go . . . don't get any seeds in your urethra

https://66.media.tumblr.com/ebb0edf9108a821101ab386c2761765c/c5b3272e3cfd587d-b4/s640x960/f4457bc2596ba1c21031c4cf343ef0398531ae3c.jpg

 

[Lord Pmann]

In the spirit of the season, here you go . . . don't get any seeds in your urethra

https://66.media.tumblr.com/ebb0edf9108a821101ab386c2761765c/c5b3272e3cfd587d-b4/s640x960/f4457bc2596ba1c21031c4cf343ef0398531ae3c.jpg

Hmmmm. I guess fucking a pumpkin would be similar to fucking a watermelon. But it just seems weird. I mean, of course I’ve fucked a pumpkin pie before. But damn. Never a pumpkin or a pumpkin Fleshlight.

I’m gonna have to do some research.

 

[AbsintheFather]

Hmmmm. I guess fucking a pumpkin would be similar to fucking a watermelon. But it just seems weird. I mean, of course I’ve fucked a pumpkin pie before. But damn. Never a pumpkin or a pumpkin Fleshlight.

I’m gonna have to do some research.

I suppose it's for when you can't find a real pumpkin . . .

 

[Suz_anne]

I think you'll need to fuck different sizes and varieties to really give us a well rounded opinion.

I mean, do you prefer a small, tight pumpkin - like a Sugar Pie or a Baby Bear? Or are we talking big, cavernous Jack O'Lanterns? Or maybe...just maybe...you're feeling like a pretty little princess and you want to fuck a slutty Cinderella pumpkin and show it who's the boss. (Tony Danza? I don't think so!)

I'll barely sleep a wink until these questions are resolved.

 

[Trouble_maker]

I’d take credit for all it’s hard work and make sure messages don’t get relayed to them so they look like an idiot in front of the boss so when it’s time to get promoted I swoop in and take it from them. No punk ass watermelon is taking food outta my mouth!

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think you'll need to fuck different sizes and varieties to really give us a well rounded opinion.

I mean, do you prefer a small, tight pumpkin - like a Sugar Pie or a Baby Bear? Or are we talking big, cavernous Jack O'Lanterns? Or maybe...just maybe...you're feeling like a pretty little princess and you want to fuck a slutty Cinderella pumpkin and show it who's the boss. (Tony Danza? I don't think so!)

I'll barely sleep a wink until these questions are resolved.

Let’s just say, after my research, I won’t be allowed back at the pumpkin patch.

 

[Scout44]

Okay... Soooo, I was talking with someone about one of my favourite comedy bits regarding watermelon fucking.

https://youtu.be/AKmDy4IW12A

A brief overview if you do not want to watch:

Ricky Gervais reads a pamphlet aimed at homosexuals who keep cumming in each others' asses. This is meant to stop the spread of HIV. It has ten suggestions.

One of them is "Why not cum into a piece of fruit, e.g. watermelon?" (This is at about 4:40 on the video)

So, the dilemma. I was discussing this with my friend and our idea of how to fuck a watermelon is different.

My idea:

1. Get an auger.
2. Drill a pmann dick sized hole (thus the auger) into the watermelon (this is a huge melon).
3. Fuck melon for 2-4 minutes.
4. Cum into melon.

My friend's idea:

1. Cut watermelon in half.
2. Fuck watermelon for an unknown period of time.
3. Cum into melon.

I never even thought about it that way. My fucking experience has always been some kind of hole shaped object- a vagina, a sex toy, my hand, a vacuum, etc. I never fathomed the idea of just fucking it, willy nilly.

So, enlighten me. How would you fuck a watermelon? My way? My friend's way? Or do you have a more clever way to fuck it?

Some conversations are meant to be private you fucker.



Jk. I've never thought of fucking a watermelon or PMann for that matter.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I think you'll need to fuck different sizes and varieties to really give us a well rounded opinion.

I mean, do you prefer a small, tight pumpkin - like a Sugar Pie or a Baby Bear? Or are we talking big, cavernous Jack O'Lanterns? Or maybe...just maybe...you're feeling like a pretty little princess and you want to fuck a slutty Cinderella pumpkin and show it who's the boss. (Tony Danza? I don't think so!)

I'll barely sleep a wink until these questions are resolved.

Let’s just say, after my research, I won’t be allowed back at the pumpkin patch.

Just don't hook up with one of those whore pumpkins, that will get you into some awkward shit!

 

[minthe]

I prefer my pumpkins toothless.

 

[Jada59]

I sure hope we're not talking about baby watermelons being fucked here. #inappropriate

Hehehe.

 

[Jada59]

I remember reading a book many years ago about some younger guys with no GFs who fucked cantaloupe. They bored holes in the fruit. I've also heard of mud fuckers. That sounds pretty creppy though.

 

[ydahecnot]

Same as with humans: spill before penetrating and then trudge away in shame

 

[alwaysaway]

Let’s just say, after my research, I won’t be allowed back at the pumpkin patch.

On the plus side, pumpkin soup for days!

https://media.tenor.com/images/eb90a634f83e57e61117148f081f021e/tenor.gif

 

[Lord Pmann]

On the plus side, pumpkin soup for days!

https://media.tenor.com/images/eb90a634f83e57e61117148f081f021e/tenor.gif

Pumpkin soup is vile.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Pmann, what happened to your vacuum cleaner?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Pmann, what happened to your vacuum cleaner?

The one that I fucked? She’s seen better days.

 

[hotwords229_A]

http://i.myniceprofile.com/588/58845.jpg

We've discussed watermelons in the summer, pumpkins in the fall, so . . .