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Sexless Marriages

Gonna regret it maybe

How about a world wide hall pass?? Would be interesting. Lol
 
GiannaG said:
51 female who can join this same boat.
My sex drive is stronger than it’s ever been.
My Hub not so much. It’s going on 6 months.
Self love has kept me going, however, it’s not
the same. Midwest here.
Click to expand...

I wish I was only at 6 months having no sex. :( I am WAAAAAYY past season that mark
 
where to find an affair

Anyone have any ideas on what websites or apps I can use to find an affair without having to pay a lot of money?

I'm stuck in a sexless marriage and my wife keeps a pretty tight leash on me because she is so insecure. I'd like to find a daytime play partner near where I work but I'm having trouble finding someone given my limitations.

If you have ideas, please let me know!

- Steve
 
WizardSoDirty said:
Exactamundo!
Click to expand...

Well at least there are others here who understand my perspective.

I’m only 51 and am in the best shape I’ve been in for a long time - never overweight or anything, just not to the point where people noticed that I was in great shape - people comment when they see me, so at least I’ve got that going for me. Like others here, I’ve decided that I’m not ready to just roll over and die, sexually.

However, finding willing partners and just getting back in the “dating scene” as an MWM, isn’t as easy as it seems, even if you’re broadcasting signals, or working on certain dating sites to find a match. Maybe my broadcasting skills are rusty or awkward which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Maybe it is just hard because I feel a little “dead” inside after not feeling desired for so long?

Oh and is PhD123 trying to pick on others for “research”? I’m nobody’s lab rat and if what you’re seeing here doesn’t tell you what you need to know, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
 
TTawhere said:
Oh. Hopefully for the better?
Click to expand...

Not yet, my avatar depicts where I’m at now perfectly.

Well I’ve post stalked you a little, and let’s just say I am a badly burned victim of being like you in regard to NSA relationships 😰

I don’t do them, so the current fallout I’m going through came close to breaking me & it’s proving hard to get over him.
 
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So much pain here, but there's so much hope, too. I guess that's part of the reason we're on Lit: Maybe we'll find someone with whom we can build a new, sex-filled future.
 
fullservice65 said:
So much pain here, but there's so much hope, too. I guess that's part of the reason we're on Lit: Maybe we'll find someone with whom we can build a new, sex-filled future.
Click to expand...

This is proving to be a very supportive thread for many
 
DDBustyBrit said:
Not yet, my avatar depicts where I’m at now perfectly.

Well I’ve post stalked you a little, and let’s just say I am a badly burned victim of being like you in regard to NSA relationships 😰

I don’t do them, so the current fallout I’m going through came close to breaking me & it’s proving hard to get over him.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can see that the hurt is because you had such great love and revel in the fact that you had that love - even for a brief while. Pain, sadly is part of the relationship world for you as it is for me. I can't have that relationship with some connection - call it love, call it whatever you want, I have to open myself up to that other person and that make me vulnerable.

I can still feel the pain from the end of two very special relationships that I had when younger if I think about how they ended, and not the joys I experienced while in the relationships. I'm writing some stories to post here on Lit to help me re-live the good feelings and memories from those relationships. The goal is to try to recapture some of the good feelings and as a substitute for the sex that I'm not having now.

I met last week with a married woman that I met through an online dating website for married people. She's the third woman that I've met with in person from the website. (Side note : It is amazing how many woman that I've had contact with that just quickly dismiss finding out anything more about someone else online - to meet three people, it has been almost 100 online. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs...)

We were looking to see if we would be compatible. We went for a walk at a local nature area and talked as we did so. She was attractive, smart and interesting with a disarming openness and sense of humor. I think our personalities would have meshed. I liked her and thought things were going well. Near the end of our discussion, she told me that she didn't think it would work. I asked why. She told me that my body language was showing that I wasn't ready - that I appeared defensive and she wasn't sure that I was into her. She was likely right about me being defensive, but not about how I felt about her and I told her so. I've been so discouraged by the process and the rejection that I've had from SWMBO regarding our sex life. It's hard, emotionally and I wonder how much emotional stamina that I still have and will I just give up and and be sexless for the rest of my life.

I left that meeting probably more discouraged and more defensive. I also realized that the pool of woman that I'm interested in and are interested in me who are nearby is very small which didn't help my outlook which left me feeling sadder still. I realize that I'm being selective in my search, but I'm not just looking for sex - that appears to be easy. Finding a relationship, that's hard, and I don't just want to sleep around for the sex.

Maybe I haven't found the key to meeting married women in the same situation in-person locally, or there's something about myself that I haven't come to fully recognize that others see looking inward at me. Maybe it will just happen organically like any other relationship. Like CSS, I've got a personal code that I live by and it is hard to overcome in looking to find a woman to share a relationship outside of my marriage.

It is hard to open yourself up without getting hurt somehow, but I believe that when you do open yourself up to another (and I hope that I can...) that the relationship will be more rewarding for both partners.
 
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TTawhere said:
I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can see that the hurt is because you had such great love and revel in the fact that you had that love - even for a brief while. Pain, sadly is part of the relationship world for you as it is for me. I can't have that relationship with some connection - call it love, call it whatever you want, I have to open myself up to that other person and that make me vulnerable.

I can still feel the pain from the end of two very special relationships that I had when younger if I think about how they ended, and not the joys I experienced while in the relationships. I'm writing some stories to post here on Lit to help me re-live the good feelings and memories from those relationships. The goal is to try to recapture some of the good feelings and as a substitute for the sex that I'm not having now.

I met last week with a married woman that I met through an online dating website for married people. She's the third woman that I've met with in person from the website. (Side note : It is amazing how many woman that I've had contact with that just quickly dismiss finding out anything more about someone else online - to meet three people, it has been almost 100 online. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs...)

We were looking to see if we would be compatible. We went for a walk at a local nature area and talked as we did so. She was attractive, smart and interesting with a disarming openness and sense of humor. I think our personalities would have meshed. I liked her and thought things were going well. Near the end of our discussion, she told me that she didn't think it would work. I asked why. She told me that my body language was showing that I wasn't ready - that I appeared defensive and she wasn't sure that I was into her. She was likely right about me being defensive, but not about how I felt about her and I told her so. I've been so discouraged by the process and the rejection that I've had from SWMBO regarding our sex life. It's hard, emotionally and I wonder how much emotional stamina that I still have and will I just give up and and be sexless for the rest of my life.

I left that meeting probably more discouraged and more defensive. I also realized that the pool of woman that I'm interested in and are interested in me who are nearby is very small which didn't help my outlook which left me feeling sadder still. I realize that I'm being selective in my search, but I'm not just looking for sex - that appears to be easy. Finding a relationship, that's hard, and I don't just want to sleep around for the sex.

Maybe I haven't found the key to meeting married women in the same situation in-person locally, or there's something about myself that I haven't come to fully recognize that others see looking inward at me. Maybe it will just happen organically like any other relationship. Like CSS, I've got a personal code that I live by and it is hard to overcome in looking to find a woman to share a relationship outside of my marriage.

It is hard to open yourself up without getting hurt somehow, but I believe that when you do open yourself up to another (and I hope that I can...) that the relationship will be more rewarding for both partners.
Click to expand...

Having a personal code sucks sometimes, but also have to look at how it's going to effect family and others in immediate and far future. Damn conscience. Lol
 
ccs29745 said:
Having a personal code sucks sometimes, but also have to look at how it's going to effect family and others in immediate and far future. Damn conscience. Lol
Click to expand...

Yeah. Mostly I just wrestle with my personal demons on the subject. I wish my demons and I could just snuggle a bit more.
 
TTawhere said:
Yeah. Mostly I just wrestle with my personal demons on the subject. I wish my demons and I could just snuggle a bit more.
Click to expand...

But look at it this way, our personal codes will ultimately make us better partners to the next frog we kiss successfully!
 
I’m having a very tough day, the hurt of my recent break up just finally hit me
 
DDBustyBrit said:
I’m having a very tough day, the hurt of my recent break up just finally hit me
Click to expand...

Hugs to you across the miles. Don’t spend the day beating yourself up emotionally. It is apparent that the loss is still new and raw.

There’s a Kahlil Gibran quote I often think about in regard to loss:

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Give yourself the luxury of having as positive an outlook as you think I should.
 
DDBustyBrit said:
I’m having a very tough day, the hurt of my recent break up just finally hit me
Click to expand...
I know I don’t know you or your situation but from the posts of yours that I have read you seem to be a very confidant, ambitious and sexy woman! Your posts are inspiring in that they give hope and bring smiles to all of our faces.

I’m sorry that you are having a bit of a rough go right now, and even though we don’t know eachother know that my thoughts are with you. When going through these times it’s hard to see that the pain is temporary and there is a whole wonderful world still out there waiting to be blessed by your presence!

I hope your evening offers you time to process, it’s unfortunately the only way to really be able to start building your happiness again.

And I second the frog comment from CCS29745 ;-)
 
After having 3 kids and some medical issues its been a long while since my partner has been up for anything other than a few times a month. It used to be a few times a day. Which is why I am here. She pretty much said that I am free to explore. We have over 15 years together and we talk quite a bit about my high sex drive. Im really happy to hear I am not alone...
 
Sexless?

An open marriage can be a great solution to a sexless marriage. One or both spouses are free to satisfy their sexual needs with whoever they want and it is an OK activity that you and your spouse have agreed upon.
 
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