Sexless Marriages

[Booboobear84]

And maybe a New Englandism

I am 1000% with you on this, it’s why I never do casual Lit hookups, I find no pleasure in them at all. I’m also female & so just not like a guy in this respect.

What’s interesting to me is many assume because I’m a big old flirt, I’m as us Brits say “shagging everything in sight”! Even those who should know me better make that assumption wrongly. Basically the rule with me is, no connection means no nookie (yet another obscure British term for sex)!

Nookie is a term that seems to get used in New England. Boston is somewhat well known for using wicked. When I visited The City in London a very posh receptionist there used iwickec the way we do.

 

[Spiritedlady]

Research paper

Not wishing to pry but has anyone else been approached by someone claiming to conducting research on sexless marriages? It was all terribly vague and I was unable to even establish what their field of study was. Anyone else?

 

[spawnofdavey]

Not wishing to pry but has anyone else been approached by someone claiming to conducting research on sexless marriages? It was all terribly vague and I was unable to even establish what their field of study was. Anyone else?

Yes, I was about to ask the same question. A day or so ago. Said they were doing some paper on it and that I'd contributed heavily to this thread. I've not replied.

 

[Polranny]

Not wishing to pry but has anyone else been approached by someone claiming to conducting research on sexless marriages? It was all terribly vague and I was unable to even establish what their field of study was. Anyone else?

Yeah I got a pm. I think it's breaking lit regs and referred him to Laurel. Phd research also and uni ethics committees unlikely to permit this level of anonnimity.

 

[Lissy_Lou]

Feeling like shit today. Made the mistake of reading an ‘article’ about sexless marriages from both the woman and mans point of view. The overwhelming take away message was ‘I don’t fuck him because I have kids and he is useless at helping / I’m tired from the women and ‘she got fat / busy with the kids / won’t let me do anything that’s not vanilla missionary sex’.

Both sides of the argument essentially made it out to be the woman’s fault or the woman’s choice. The comments section (why why why did I read the comments?) was full of people saying the same. Hundreds of them.

So yeah. Now I feel like complete shit because none of those circumstances apply to us (except the weight gain in pregnancy but I already had a fat ass when he met me so *) I guess I really am some kind of hideous beast who can’t even get her husbands attention.

 

[Spiritedlady]

Feeling like shit today. Made the mistake of reading an ‘article’ about sexless marriages from both the woman and mans point of view. The overwhelming take away message was ‘I don’t fuck him because I have kids and he is useless at helping / I’m tired from the women and ‘she got fat / busy with the kids / won’t let me do anything that’s not vanilla missionary sex’.

Both sides of the argument essentially made it out to be the woman’s fault or the woman’s choice. The comments section (why why why did I read the comments?) was full of people saying the same. Hundreds of them.

So yeah. Now I feel like complete shit because none of those circumstances apply to us (except the weight gain in pregnancy but I already had a fat ass when he met me so *) I guess I really am some kind of hideous beast who can’t even get her husbands attention.

Don’t do this to yourself ..... I can’t really comment properly now but i’ll come back later. I’ve spoken to lots of guys on Lit.... lots.... and even though many were not having the sex they wanted only one man ever said he didn’t fancy his wife anymore.

 

[ccs29745]

Feeling like shit today. Made the mistake of reading an ‘article’ about sexless marriages from both the woman and mans point of view. The overwhelming take away message was ‘I don’t fuck him because I have kids and he is useless at helping / I’m tired from the women and ‘she got fat / busy with the kids / won’t let me do anything that’s not vanilla missionary sex’.

Both sides of the argument essentially made it out to be the woman’s fault or the woman’s choice. The comments section (why why why did I read the comments?) was full of people saying the same. Hundreds of them.

So yeah. Now I feel like complete shit because none of those circumstances apply to us (except the weight gain in pregnancy but I already had a fat ass when he met me so *) I guess I really am some kind of hideous beast who can’t even get her husbands attention.

Hate articles and supposed studies like this. Yea. So it is the womans fault. It is just as much as guys fault as well.
Woman gains weight, well, guys do too . Both are busy with work and kids. Both at times don't feel like sex sometimes.

These articles are done by idiots who done realize life works on both sexes. Cheer up kiddo and don't let crap like this get you down.

 

[HughManitee]

Feeling like shit today. Made the mistake of reading an ‘article’ about sexless marriages from both the woman and mans point of view. The overwhelming take away message was ‘I don’t fuck him because I have kids and he is useless at helping / I’m tired from the women and ‘she got fat / busy with the kids / won’t let me do anything that’s not vanilla missionary sex’.

Both sides of the argument essentially made it out to be the woman’s fault or the woman’s choice. The comments section (why why why did I read the comments?) was full of people saying the same. Hundreds of them.

So yeah. Now I feel like complete shit because none of those circumstances apply to us (except the weight gain in pregnancy but I already had a fat ass when he met me so *) I guess I really am some kind of hideous beast who can’t even get her husbands attention.

SpiritedLady is right, don't do that to yourself. You are not a hideous beast. I know how you feel, Ive felt that way myself. Haven't had sex with my wife in years, she absolutely refuses and I still find her very attractive.

 

[ccs29745]

Seriously. When it comes to weight gain, my husband gained much more weight than I have through the years.

Both my wife and I have.

 

[lowhangingfruit4u]

same boat here

58 male here, same boat, travel alot maybe part part of the problem

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Not wishing to pry but has anyone else been approached by someone claiming to conducting research on sexless marriages? It was all terribly vague and I was unable to even establish what their field of study was. Anyone else?

Yes and I ignored

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Feeling like shit today. Made the mistake of reading an ‘article’ about sexless marriages from both the woman and mans point of view. The overwhelming take away message was ‘I don’t fuck him because I have kids and he is useless at helping / I’m tired from the women and ‘she got fat / busy with the kids / won’t let me do anything that’s not vanilla missionary sex’.

Both sides of the argument essentially made it out to be the woman’s fault or the woman’s choice. The comments section (why why why did I read the comments?) was full of people saying the same. Hundreds of them.

So yeah. Now I feel like complete shit because none of those circumstances apply to us (except the weight gain in pregnancy but I already had a fat ass when he met me so *) I guess I really am some kind of hideous beast who can’t even get her husbands attention.

This is why I don’t generally ‘Google’ stuff for opinions anyway! It’s a bit like google an illness and you will find out you are on your deathbed, well hey we all die eventually!

So please do not take this to heart, and it sounds like they just pulled all the usual feeble excuses men give. Have you tried talking to your husband about this, I apologize in advance if you have told us that before.

But chin up babe Life is never this black & white in in my experience.....HUGS

 

[Aussie_Daddy_Dom]

If there are any women in an unfulfilling relationship living in Austalia
I would love to take care of you

 

[Lissy_Lou]

If there are any women in an unfulfilling relationship living in Austalia
I would love to take care of you

So not the place to try and pick up women mate.....

 

[Bad101]

I have come to the realization that my wife does not want to have sex anymore due to medical issues. It sucks but it is part of the for better or for worse part.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

So not the place to try and pick up women mate.....

Amen sister! I was like seriously dude!!

 

[WizardSoDirty]

Not wishing to pry but has anyone else been approached by someone claiming to conducting research on sexless marriages? It was all terribly vague and I was unable to even establish what their field of study was. Anyone else?

Yeah, I'm still giving them the benefit of a doubt but we'll see. Whoever it was seemed sincere but I've had a few people IM me and never said what they wanted. At least this one had a plan,

If you don't start getting spammed the next day then I'm OK with it.
Practically immune to spam anyway.

 

[WizardSoDirty]

Sorry for getting you off topic. Killer bees are fewer here than they use to be. Everyone fear the cicada killers now. Look like wasps, but drink the wasp spray.

Pull over here and most time people will just moving on. Problem around here is people act like they need help and then rob you when you do help.

Coyotes in field across house, pack of 10 to 12, keep getting farmer's chickens down the road.

I got myself off topic, LOL I think your role in that would be more like "innocent bystander".
Cicada killers? Are they like huge fkn wasps, about 3-4 inches long and fast as heck? Up around Lake Dallas , ...uh, I mean Lewisville lake when it was still two lakes (Garza/Little Elm) I went to a summer camp up there a couple of times when I was a kid. There was tarantulas everywhere and they'd dig a hole out , usually under one of the flat rocks laying around everywhere (sandstone, I think). I'm sure you've seen those in a pet shop somewhere or maybe met someone that kept them... so you likely know how big those are. There were these giant wasps flying around. They never bothered us and we never really paid much attention to them as they usually didn't get too close. I didn't think of them being fast or anything then but they'd fly around about 4 ft in the air looking for a tarantula. I don't know who mentioned it but maybe a counselor. We had these cabins we were in and there was always a guy about college age that was there, probably the whole summer to make a buck but we would be there for a week or two depending on.... but someone said that the spiders would hear the wasps and freeze thinking the wasp would just keep going. I don't know if that ever worked but you could hear the wasps sounding about like an RC plane but not as loud, but you could hear them from it must have been literally a couple of hundred feet away, if not more. Now this camp was away from any highways or other noise, and it the dog days , really most of the Summer where's not even much breeze. It's about as still as a graveyard except you might think you were in West Hell. (Heat didn't bother me then) But I don't think I'm exaggerating any at all even though I must have been about 10 then. But if freezing in place helped the spiders it wasn't many that got away, and there must have been thousands maybe as many as 20-30 to an acre. We didn't mess with them but you'd see several in a day other than right up around the cabins and mess hall, but still a few there, just not as much cover for them. But you'd see these wasps carrying the tarantulas and someone had told me that they'd freeze when they heard the wasp and the reason was the wasp would sting the spider and then lay eggs in it. The wasps I guess had some kind of place they wanted to take them instead of leaving them there but the spider was still alive, just couldn't move. But I expect most of them didn't come out in daylight but enough did that every day you'd see maybe two or three times a wasp carrying one to wherever. Considering a tarantula is about half the size of your hand, that's a big freaking wasp!
I don't remember getting closer than maybe 10 feet of one, they'd avoid you and I had no idea how fast they are. Out there they were either hunting, so going pretty slow, actually I think slower than a kid would normally be walking. But at 10 or so Maybe not the girls but every boy in Texas has probably been stung by either the big wasps about an inch long that are either red, black or black and red. Because we nearly all had BB guns or if not that we'd be throwing stuff at the nests whenever we saw one until we got stung. Even the smaller ones we called yellow jackets hurt like hell (yellow and brown stripes) but they are really a wasp; yellow jackets are smaller and have fuzz like a bumble bee. So we might have otherwise thought about throwing a stick at one or something but after being tagged by the "normal" sized one we never even thought about it, LOL

But years later on Summer after dark we had the windows open maybe the a/c was out or just being cheap but one window had the screen off and one of those got in the kitchen. You have no idea how loud they are until you've been in a 10x18 room with one. I was needing to work in the kitchen, probably had done a brisket and I needed to start doing my thing so we could eat. It might not have been quite pitch dark but dark enough I thought the light might have brought it in. I briefly entertained the thought of swatting it with a swatter like I would a regular sized one but I tried that and when I saw how fast it was I decided I didn't need to try that again. I could see the stinger sticking out about 3/8 or 1/2 inch now way.
so I got some jet spray we had and took a couple of shots. Damned wasp just mover aside like it was slow motion. After that I just decided the best thing would be to open a couple of more doors and let that big SOB stay as long as it wanted. I had probably spent an hour trying to decide how I was going to get rid of it (yeah, I was real cautious). But after I tried a couple of things and opened up some exits It wasn't but maybe 5 minutes and it just flew out. At the time I hadn't seen one for about 30 years as we didn't have a bunch of tarantulas around. The few times I 'd been back up to Lewisville I don't think there was any even there then but maybe. They had built a bunch of houses where the camp had been. When I was a kid we still had big red ants and horned toads, the fire ants got all those when they moved in. I hadn't been another of those wasps since then until that one had got in the house. That was the last one I've seen.

But I remember seeing a Sci-Fi from the '50s on TV and they had giant radioactive spiders (Maybe an Ed Wood flick) and how the ended up getting rid of them/it after all the fighter plans and tanks didn't work (LOL) was playing an amplified wasp noise over loudspeakers causing the spider to be still so they could do whatever they did according to the plot. So I imagine most people to the west of us at least in some areas had those and so it got put into a cheap horror flick. Probably the only "fact" ever in one of those b&w "B" movies, LOL

You probably heat those coyotes sing about 30 minutes after dark like they do here I guess. If you're where you can get close enough it would probably be a good idea to screw with them so they'll be afraid of people.

If you can't shoot at them or at least dump the shot out of a shotgun shell or three to make a blank you might try getting a Wrist Rocket. But it best if you have something loud or something that will sting them or it won't have much effect.

They get about as big as a large German Sheppard here and up North they've been interbreeding with wolves. I don't know how much they've expanded their range to the South but the biologists were saying that they had a hybrid as big as a wolf and smart as a coyote.

Evidently they hadn't interbred up until about 20 years ago. The people that keep up with that seemed pretty concerned about that.

 

[ccs29745]

I got myself off topic, LOL I think your role in that would be more like "innocent bystander".
Cicada killers? Are they like huge fkn wasps, about 3-4 inches long and fast as heck? Up around Lake Dallas , ...uh, I mean Lewisville lake when it was still two lakes (Garza/Little Elm) I went to a summer camp up there a couple of times when I was a kid. There was tarantulas everywhere and they'd dig a hole out , usually under one of the flat rocks laying around everywhere (sandstone, I think). I'm sure you've seen those in a pet shop somewhere or maybe met someone that kept them... so you likely know how big those are. There were these giant wasps flying around. They never bothered us and we never really paid much attention to them as they usually didn't get too close. I didn't think of them being fast or anything then but they'd fly around about 4 ft in the air looking for a tarantula. I don't know who mentioned it but maybe a counselor. We had these cabins we were in and there was always a guy about college age that was there, probably the whole summer to make a buck but we would be there for a week or two depending on.... but someone said that the spiders would hear the wasps and freeze thinking the wasp would just keep going. I don't know if that ever worked but you could hear the wasps sounding about like an RC plane but not as loud, but you could hear them from it must have been literally a couple of hundred feet away, if not more. Now this camp was away from any highways or other noise, and it the dog days , really most of the Summer where's not even much breeze. It's about as still as a graveyard except you might think you were in West Hell. (Heat didn't bother me then) But I don't think I'm exaggerating any at all even though I must have been about 10 then. But if freezing in place helped the spiders it wasn't many that got away, and there must have been thousands maybe as many as 20-30 to an acre. We didn't mess with them but you'd see several in a day other than right up around the cabins and mess hall, but still a few there, just not as much cover for them. But you'd see these wasps carrying the tarantulas and someone had told me that they'd freeze when they heard the wasp and the reason was the wasp would sting the spider and then lay eggs in it. The wasps I guess had some kind of place they wanted to take them instead of leaving them there but the spider was still alive, just couldn't move. But I expect most of them didn't come out in daylight but enough did that every day you'd see maybe two or three times a wasp carrying one to wherever. Considering a tarantula is about half the size of your hand, that's a big freaking wasp!
I don't remember getting closer than maybe 10 feet of one, they'd avoid you and I had no idea how fast they are. Out there they were either hunting, so going pretty slow, actually I think slower than a kid would normally be walking. But at 10 or so Maybe not the girls but every boy in Texas has probably been stung by either the big wasps about an inch long that are either red, black or black and red. Because we nearly all had BB guns or if not that we'd be throwing stuff at the nests whenever we saw one until we got stung. Even the smaller ones we called yellow jackets hurt like hell (yellow and brown stripes) but they are really a wasp; yellow jackets are smaller and have fuzz like a bumble bee. So we might have otherwise thought about throwing a stick at one or something but after being tagged by the "normal" sized one we never even thought about it, LOL

But years later on Summer after dark we had the windows open maybe the a/c was out or just being cheap but one window had the screen off and one of those got in the kitchen. You have no idea how loud they are until you've been in a 10x18 room with one. I was needing to work in the kitchen, probably had done a brisket and I needed to start doing my thing so we could eat. It might not have been quite pitch dark but dark enough I thought the light might have brought it in. I briefly entertained the thought of swatting it with a swatter like I would a regular sized one but I tried that and when I saw how fast it was I decided I didn't need to try that again. I could see the stinger sticking out about 3/8 or 1/2 inch now way.
so I got some jet spray we had and took a couple of shots. Damned wasp just mover aside like it was slow motion. After that I just decided the best thing would be to open a couple of more doors and let that big SOB stay as long as it wanted. I had probably spent an hour trying to decide how I was going to get rid of it (yeah, I was real cautious). But after I tried a couple of things and opened up some exits It wasn't but maybe 5 minutes and it just flew out. At the time I hadn't seen one for about 30 years as we didn't have a bunch of tarantulas around. The few times I 'd been back up to Lewisville I don't think there was any even there then but maybe. They had built a bunch of houses where the camp had been. When I was a kid we still had big red ants and horned toads, the fire ants got all those when they moved in. I hadn't been another of those wasps since then until that one had got in the house. That was the last one I've seen.

But I remember seeing a Sci-Fi from the '50s on TV and they had giant radioactive spiders (Maybe an Ed Wood flick) and how the ended up getting rid of them/it after all the fighter plans and tanks didn't work (LOL) was playing an amplified wasp noise over loudspeakers causing the spider to be still so they could do whatever they did according to the plot. So I imagine most people to the west of us at least in some areas had those and so it got put into a cheap horror flick. Probably the only "fact" ever in one of those b&w "B" movies, LOL

You probably heat those coyotes sing about 30 minutes after dark like they do here I guess. If you're where you can get close enough it would probably be a good idea to screw with them so they'll be afraid of people.

If you can't shoot at them or at least dump the shot out of a shotgun shell or three to make a blank you might try getting a Wrist Rocket. But it best if you have something loud or something that will sting them or it won't have much effect.

They get about as big as a large German Sheppard here and up North they've been interbreeding with wolves. I don't know how much they've expanded their range to the South but the biologists were saying that they had a hybrid as big as a wolf and smart as a coyote.

Evidently they hadn't interbred up until about 20 years ago. The people that keep up with that seemed pretty concerned about that.

The cicada killers stre like wasp. They take the cicada into a hole and lay their eggs on it. The larva eat the rotting cicada and emerge next year as the killer.

Coyotes have left us alone for most part. No one near us really has chicken . Far end of street had some new ones.

Fire ants should be illegal. Hate those damn things.

 

[ccs29745]

If there are any women in an unfulfilling relationship living in Austalia
I would love to take care of you

Lovers room in the playground. This room for support and friends.

 

[sinfulpleasure67]

Feel bad saying this but my husband doesn't take care of himself. He's always been big since I met him but has zero pride in his appearance.. that on top of NEVER helping me around the house.. . Yea sexless marriage and we aren't even at the 2 yr mark. It's so depressing

2yr mark and no sex. Ugh I am sorry. that is way to early for that.

 

[tractorfarmboy]

56 year old male in sexless marriage with high sex drive

I’m a 56 year old male with a high sex drive in a sexless marriage. Menapause took sex away for me. Looking to play with females in Hickory NC. These great stories here really help me get off, but need the real thing. I love giving oral and getting her off first.

 

[Rt127]

Ok I’m 53 and have been through menopause in the last 2 yrs and don’t believe everything you read. There may be hope for you, I have never been hornier and am truly at my sexuality peak in life.

I never had a symptom though, just sailed right through. I know this is not usually the case, but I have a couple of friends who after they were done found their drive came back.

I also have a couple of friends who had hormone implants and that helped too. I hope you resolve it but don’t give up hope

Sadly I have the opposite issue here, it’s almost laughable!

Thanks DD I hope your right. Wish it would have had the opposite affect here.

 

[GiannaG]

edited

 

[Bpar721971]

51 female who can join this same boat.
My sex drive is stronger than it’s ever been.
My Hub not so much. It’s going on 6 months.
Self love has kept me going, however, it’s not
the same. Midwest here.

I know the feeling. 54 yr old male here. Going on 5 months for me. Sex drive high as it’s always been. Sucks when you’re partners is not into it. Southeastern US here.