Bad Random Life Tips.

[BadAmy]

take your dick out.

No, seriously, anywhere.
People love that.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you really need to pee then start masturbating.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Give up bread. You’ll be happy.

(It pained me to write that)

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your kid is being a little shit, hide the dog and cook steak for dinner, then tell your kids half way through that they're eating the dog. That will shape the little fuckers up.

 

[BadAmy]

Give up bread. You’ll be happy.

(It pained me to write that)

No it didn't

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone tries to insurance scam you by jumping in front of your car, be sure to speed up so they can’t file a claim.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

If someone tries to insurance scam you by jumping in front of your car, be sure to speed up so they can’t file a claim.

That's actually a good tip.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Before making any decisions, masturbate, then think about it again to see if you feel different. This will ensure you don't act out of horniness.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Feeling horny but don't have lube? Not a problem, use Bengay as lube. It works and feels great.

 

[Jada59]

Save time by not brushing your teeth!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you get have a parking ticket, the next time you park illegally put it under your wipers. Cops won't give it a second glance.

 

[Sassyunicorn]

Save time by not brushing your teeth!

Save money by skipping deodorant.

 

[Jada59]

Out of lettuce? No problem. Kick that BLT up a notch and make it a BNT. Bacon, nettles and tomato.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When constipated eat rotten chicken.

 

[Jada59]

Out of beans? Try refried peas!

 

[fakingadulthood]

If at first you don’t succeed, fake your death, get a new identity and start over someplace new where they don’t know you ever failed

 

[Sh75]

Coming to Lit for random life tips

 

[Jada59]

Kill three birds with one stone. Go through the drive through car wash with your windows down. You won't have to clean the interior later, nor will you have to take a shower!

 

[fakingadulthood]

Upon discovering the roof above your Head is on fire, one should always remember that water is unnecessary and the ideal outcome is to let that mother Fucker burn... burn mother fucker

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to get away with murder? Technically, whoever you kill is dead and can't press charges.

 

[fakingadulthood]

There are in fact sexy Asian,Russian,single mothers, et al in your area that want to meet you and fuck. They’re actually really sad because they don’t understand why no one clicks the links they put out there.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Something wrong with your car, but not sure what? Post it up for sale and have buyers come tell you what's wrong with your car.

 

[fakingadulthood]

Remember, if you want to impress when sending a dick pic the best option is to send a picture of Dick Cheney’s dick for 3x impact. Your dick, no matter how great can’t beat the dick if a man named dick who history remembers for being such a dick

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of paying rent and food? Just walk up to a police officer and punch them in the face. Free room, bed, gym and 3 meals a day. If you think you're getting out, just shank your cellmate in their sleep.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Something wrong with your car, but not sure what? Post it up for sale and have buyers come tell you what's wrong with your car.

That's actually a good tip. You'd get a more accurate diagnosis & the repairs would be far cheaper.