Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[Apisto42]

Retired teacher beats LIT man to death for using the word she when it was the object of a preposition!

Breaking news tonight at 11, a 60 something artist died after the nude art exhibit he was setting up in the park collapsed when the guy wire holding up the words “Sweet Manwhore” snapped. This segment may not be suitable for all viewers.

 

[Xerxes82]

Breaking news tonight at 11, a 60 something artist died after the nude art exhibit he was setting up in the park collapsed when the guy wire holding up the words “Sweet Manwhore” snapped. This segment may not be suitable for all viewers.

Was found hanging, by the balls, from the mouth of a marble statue of antifeminist icon Phyllis Shlaffly. Became stuck after drunkenly attempting to face fuck the oversized piece.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Was found hanging, by the balls, from the mouth of a marble statue of antifeminist icon Phyllis Shlaffly. Became stuck after drunkenly attempting to face fuck the oversized piece.

Arrested for a brutal attack on Alfred Hitchcock.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Caught outside Yankee Stadium wearing Red Sox gear. Was immediately beaten to death.

 

[DMBFFF]

Caught outside Yankee Stadium wearing Red Sox gear. Was immediately beaten to death.

Got into a very animated shouting match with lawyers for Groucho Marx's estate.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Got into a very animated shouting match with lawyers for Groucho Marx's estate.

Arrested in a case of mistaken identity due to his very common name.

 

[Taegul]

He wanted to make the People of Walmart website so much, he went to Walmart wearing his favorite pink thong and cowboy boots. Security put on full Hazmat suits before tackling and arresting him.

 

[VoraciousValue]

He wanted to make the People of Walmart website so much, he went to Walmart wearing his favorite pink thong and cowboy boots. Security put on full Hazmat suits before tackling and arresting him.

Was determined to be Patient Zero, a merchant seaman known to have transmitted a rare STD usually found in Africa to most of the hookers near the Port of San Francisco.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Was determined to be Patient Zero, a merchant seaman known to have transmitted a rare STD usually found in Africa to most of the hookers near the Port of San Francisco.

He was standing in traffic in Dupont Circle swinging a giant plug on a chain, screaming that he was really the one who drained the swamp.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Turned out to be the bastard love child of Jimmy Hoffa.

He was standing in traffic in Dupont Circle swinging a giant plug on a chain, screaming that he was really the one who drained the swamp.

Quite frankly, I'd probably do a better job of it.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Turned out to be the bastard love child of Jimmy Hoffa.



Quite frankly, I'd probably do a better job of it.

Did I mention the carjacking on the beltway...which ended up in a twenty car pileup?

 

[Hornblende]

Did I mention the carjacking on the beltway...which ended up in a twenty car pileup?

Someone took a bite of her apple. Probably me.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Someone took a bite of her apple. Probably me.

Turns out he was just another rock.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Turns out he was just another rock.

Kidnapped Fay Wray from her skyscraper apartment and climbed the Empire State Building with her.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Kidnapped Fay Wray from her skyscraper apartment and climbed the Empire State Building with her.

Led police on a low speed chase, naked, on a stolen tricycle.

 

[DarkSimian]

Led police on a low speed chase, naked, on a stolen tricycle.

Had a blow out, one of her boobs deflated, and she wound up unbalanced and walking in circles. Caused a traffic jam in line at Costco

 

[VoraciousValue]

Led police on a low speed chase, naked, on a stolen tricycle.

Joined Elvira and Pamela Anderson to form a new charity group: Big Bazooms for Venezuela.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Joined Elvira and Pamela Anderson to form a new charity group: Big Bazooms for Venezuela.

He was the only fan to show up at tonight's Nationals game

 

[starrynightin64]

He was the only fan to show up at tonight's Nationals game

Switched places with the Naked Cowboy but forgot both is tighty whities & guitar

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Switched places with the Naked Cowboy but forgot both is tighty whities & guitar

causing a traffic jam while attempting to steal a manhole cover, because she thought she might be able to use it shut her man's pie hole.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Used her talents and feminine wiles to get free CDs from the Columbia Record Club.

He was the only fan to show up at tonight's Nationals game

Oddly enough, I might be at the Nationals game tonight because I'm a St. Louis fan.

 

[neakman]

causing a traffic jam while attempting to steal a manhole cover, because she thought she might be able to use it shut her man's pie hole.

eye candy for the weather report. Showers would be much easier to take with her telling me they are coming....

 

[DeckardNYC]

eye candy for the weather report. Showers would be much easier to take with her telling me they are coming....

Learned about the Naked Cowboy in a post above, now headed to nyc to challenge him to a naked sing off in Times Square.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Learned about the Naked Cowboy in a post above, now headed to nyc to challenge him to a naked sing off in Times Square.

Announced his move to Los Angeles at a sudden press conference.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Announced his move to Los Angeles at a sudden press conference.

Nominated to be the next Attorney General.