❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#31

#31

Continuing Education & Mentors

We've talked about the past but what's the newest thing you've tried or learned about?
Have you ever been the one to teach someone something brand new to them?

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

#31

Continuing Education & Mentors

We've talked about the past but what's the newest thing you've tried or learned about?
Have you ever been the one to teach someone something brand new to them?

I've learned to identify diamonds and qualities along with various gemstones lately, though I still struggle with it I hope to learn it enough to be able to do it without an aid.

As for something I've tried, some self anal play, nothing extreme yet but still new to me.



I've had the pleasure to teach some people a few things, the most rewarding was teaching someone how to meditate. Seeing the relaxation take hold once they started to get it was wonderful.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I've learned to identify diamonds and qualities along with various gemstones lately, though I still struggle with it I hope to learn it enough to be able to do it without an aid.

As for something I've tried, some self anal play, nothing extreme yet but still new to me.



I've had the pleasure to teach some people a few things, the most rewarding was teaching someone how to meditate. Seeing the relaxation take hold once they started to get it was wonderful.

*whew!*

I'm glad you posted first, i was going to make my answer all about sex.

 

[AlwaysFara]

#31

Continuing Education & Mentors

We've talked about the past but what's the newest thing you've tried or learned about?
Have you ever been the one to teach someone something brand new to them?

The newest thing I’ve tried is leash play. I love it. As soon as everything is snapped into place, my jaw goes slack and my legs melt. My mind goes to that empty place I love so much, even before I cum.
I want more.

I don’t know if it’s considered “teaching”, but I’ve showed a man just how deeply and thoroughly I can worship him with my mouth. All of him.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

*whew!*

I'm glad you posted first, i was going to make my answer all about sex.

Glad I could save you from that fate

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

The newest thing I’ve tried is leash play. I love it. As soon as everything is snapped into place, my jaw goes slack and my legs melt. My mind goes to that empty place I love so much, even before I cum.
I want more.

I don’t know if it’s considered “teaching”, but I’ve showed a man just how deeply and thoroughly I can worship him with my mouth. All of him.

Hmmm....hot......go Fara

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Glad I could save you from that fate

You're a pal.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

You're a pal.

I try

 

[VikingDaddy]

I've taught a few things to subs. I have also learned valuable lessons from them. I think it should be that way. Both parties involved should learn from each other. That way it makes the experience worthwhile for everyone. If you learn nothing then you're doing something wrong. Same for not teaching the sub.

I like to find out what other Doms have taught them and then make the sub unlearn it. No Dom is the same and I have a specific thing in mind for each sub. I like teaching the sub I'm with at the time. I find the process to be fun for both of us. I hope this helps and doesn't seem to be just me rambling on.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Empathetic Sadist.

You might have something there. Any links on that concept? Googling pulls up a few posts from people describing themselves as empathetic sadists, but nothing very informative about what it looks like.

 

[Mei5ter]

You might have something there. Any links on that concept? Googling pulls up a few posts from people describing themselves as empathetic sadists, but nothing very informative about what it looks like.

Isn’t empathy the difference between sadism and just randomly hurting people?

AFAF...

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Empathy doesn't always mean you have an emotional understanding of what someone feels, it also doesn't mean you feel the same as they do, just that you can understand what they are feeling.

I think all sadist are empathetic, I think if you enjoy the feeling your have to understand it which would imply empathy. Even psychopaths and sociopaths have empathy even if it is just to derive pleasure from their destructive habits. But empathy has multiple meanings and is a very broad term.

But I AM NOT A SHRINK lol

 

[AveryElle]

Isn’t empathy the difference between sadism and just randomly hurting people?

AFAF...

I’d say just randomly hurts people is sociopathy not sadism. Sadists know they are hurting people. Sociopaths either just don’t know or just don’t care.

And to some degree, part of being a sexual sadist - even emotionally sadist for sexual pleasure - is about sexuality not a natural state. Some of the bests sadists I’ve know (and been intimate with) have not been that way outside of play. The ones that have are what we’d all probably call dicks

 

[AlwaysFara]

I’d say just randomly hurts people is sociopathy not sadism. Sadists know they are hurting people. Sociopaths either just don’t know or just don’t care.

And to some degree, part of being a sexual sadist - even emotionally sadist for sexual pleasure - is about sexuality not a natural state. Some of the bests sadists I’ve know (and been intimate with) have not been that way outside of play. The ones that have are what we’d all probably call dicks

Ahahaaaa!!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Empathy is being able to identify and understand someone's emotions. Empathic sadism would then stand to mean that you cause, identify, understand, and get sexual satisfaction from those emotions and, presumably, will respect boundaries.

Sociopaths, from what I know, is just someone with a lack on conscience. They don't really care how they make people feel. Pair that with psychopath and then you have someone hurting people for fun and not giving a fuck.

I like my emotionally mature and empathetic sadists, myself.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Empathy is being able to identify and understand someone's emotions. Empathic sadism would then stand to mean that you cause, identify, understand, and get sexual satisfaction from those emotions and, presumably, will respect boundaries.

Sociopaths, from what I know, is just someone with a lack on conscience. They don't really care how they make people feel. Pair that with psychopath and then you have someone hurting people for fun and not giving a fuck.

I like my emotionally mature and empathetic sadists, myself.

As do I.

 

[VikingDaddy]

Empathy is being able to identify and understand someone's emotions. Empathic sadism would then stand to mean that you cause, identify, understand, and get sexual satisfaction from those emotions and, presumably, will respect boundaries.

Sociopaths, from what I know, is just someone with a lack on conscience. They don't really care how they make people feel. Pair that with psychopath and then you have someone hurting people for fun and not giving a fuck.

I like my emotionally mature and empathetic sadists, myself.

I consider myself to be an empathic sadist.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I think I'll just steer clear of the -opaths either way. But thanks for the clarification.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Just making a joke!

<scampers off to figure out which -opath she is>

 

[Mei5ter]

That's just a Latin suffix that indicates a pathology. Technically "pathology" spans all health diseases or irregular symptomologies but referring to a person as a/an *prefix*-opath tends to be a mental health thing. In theory there should be "-opath" terminologies for autists and people suffering from depression or ADD, but the labeling of those symptomologies is recent enough that they were not named in Latin.

Which is to say "YOU'RE AN -OPATH SO THERE" *sticks tongue out*

Greek, not Latin. As in πάθει μάθος - learning from pain.

*picks up riding crop and strokes it thoughtfully*

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#31

Continuing Education & Mentors

We've talked about the past but what's the newest thing you've tried or learned about?
Have you ever been the one to teach someone something brand new to them?

Re-tracking this train.

I meant the question to be aimed at kink but I love knowing all the random stuff you guys are learning! Non-kink I've been digging back into poetry and trying read more and get more inspired. And I teach a drama class to teenagers so I'm always mentoring but - kink wise -

New stuff - hair play. For a host of personal reasons, I find this crazy hot and submissive.
Teaching or explaining - emotional sadism/masochism. I'm no expert and can't really go into things that don't have personal bearing but it's been nice talking it out.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Sorry.

Denial/ abstinence.

"I would rather starve by my own agency then resent you for not feeding me enough".

How's your headache? Mine's getting worse.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Trying to bait me?

Nope. Genuine question, asked out of curiosity.

Yeah sadly it doesn't work that way and it's not that time of year. I would say I never know what I'm going to research next fall but come on... The vendiagram is not that hard to imagine.

...not really, though?

"Empathetic" is an ambiguous word. Sometimes it's used to mean somebody who cares about the mental state of others ("if you're sad, I'm sad"); sometimes it's used to mean somebody who can easily perceive or understand the mental state of others. Depending on which of those definitions is in effect, I may or may not be empathetic.

"Sadist" is just as ambiguous. It can cover anything from consensual sadism to torturers.

And English is full of terms of art that don't just mean the sum of their component words. "White pride" is not simply a white person who's proud about something, "white rhinos" and "black rhinos" are both grey to brown, and so on. From googling, it looked to me as if "empathetic sadist" was a term of art that had some meaning more specific than "any possible usage of 'empathetic' x any possible usage of 'sadist'", but I couldn't find a good source for what that is. Hence my question.

Damnit I'm gonna have to get on my computer and post links to Wikipedia.....

Oh wtf... Well do this one off the top of my head. I'm sure bramblethorn will correct me.

You're confusing sociopath with psychopath. A psychopath could be argued to have no conscience, but conscience isn't actually a metric used in psychology. Instead you'll read things like "highly self centered with a very low emotional response," and "difficulty connecting emotionally, at all or with other humans" (psychopaths sometimes connect emotionally with objects, places, or pets)

A sociopath is someone incapable of empathy.

Yeah, as you predicted, I'm going to quibble here.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but my understanding is that psychiatry has never been able to settle on a clear distinction between "psychopath" and "sociopath", and has often used the two words interchangeably, with the distinction being more about what aspect of the behaviour is considered more important or what one believes the cause to be. "Psycho-" puts the emphasis on abnormality in the person's mind; "socio-" puts the emphasis on how they interact with others.

As I understand it, neither "psychopathy" or "sociopathy" is a recognised psychiatric diagnosis as of DSM-V; both would be subsets of antisocial personality disorder. (Intro to that article: "The terms psychopathy or sociopathy are also used, in some contexts synonymously, in others, sociopath is differentiated from a psychopath, in that a sociopathy is rooted in environmental causes, while psychopathy is genetically based.")

The water is considerably muddied by pop culture's fondness for fictional "psychopaths" and "sociopaths" who generally have more to do with the writer's idea of what seems cool than with any solid grounding in RL psychiatry.

Key though; shallow emotional response. The emotional response of a psychopath tends to be so flatlined that they can pass lie detectors.

This isn't too remarkable, though. Polygraphs as "lie detectors" are woefully inaccurate, basically junk science. At best, what they measure is emotional arousal, which can be caused by many different factors, and for that reason they're generally not taken seriously by courts. Their main value is probably as a bluff against people who believe the polygraph will catch them lying.

 

[Bramblethorn]

(Acknowledging that Stag wishes to end this discussion. There are a couple of things here which I think are errors of fact, and I want to address them - one in particular is personally important to me - so I'll be making this one reply, but beyond that, I don't propose to continue it further in this thread. If anybody does want to talk further about this stuff, poke me in the Mental Health thread.)

I studied this formally. This was the subject of a report. 20+ years ago, the disctinction between the two had been recently drawn; 'psychopath' was defunct, but had already entered into pop-cultural lexicon. I figured might as well use the term everyone knows that means the same thing... I've even seen it used more in medical studies in recent years. Official term for the same thing is anti-social disorder, as you mentioned, but sociopathy was still a separate pathology. That would have been DSM 4 circa 1994. I admit I have not kept up, and wouldn't be surprised if they cut it out.

I don't have a full version of DSM-IV handy, but on looking through what sources I do have, I can't find a reference to "sociopathy" per se being a specific condition in DSM-IV. Looking at e.g. this list of DSM-IV codes which includes things like "antisocial personality disorder" but not sociopathy, or this summary of changes between DSM-IV and DSM-5.

Did you know ADD is no longer in the DSM either? Neither is high functioning autism. They're both just ADHD now; lumped together for political & financial reasons.

This is is not correct. "High-functioning autism" is not under ADHD (DSM-5 code 314); it's DSM-5 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder along with everything else autistic.

What you may be thinking of is that DSM-IV made a distinction between "Autistic Disorder" (299.00) and "Asperger's Disorder" (299.80, roughly synonymous with "high-functioning autism"), and DSM-5 merged us back into the one category (Autism Spectrum Disorder), eliminated Asperger's back into what's now Autism Spectrum Disorder. This was somewhat controversial among autistic people; personally I've come around to thinking it was the right call, but anybody who wants my views on that should ask over in the MH thread.

ETA: just to clarify that I acknowledge MANY issues with DSM, I'm citing it as an indicator of how psychiatry views certain issues, not necessarily endorsing those positions.