The moment of truth

[SimonDoom]

I regret to say, you're on my probation list for "ignore" for 'snarkiness'...I've never used that function ...hmmm, power to control my world !

Yikes. Is that double secret probation?

 

[JerseyGirlDownUnder]

If you switch on the closed captions, you can see what he's saying in plain English.

Give or take a few minor transcription errors.

Rab C. Nesbitt required subtitles on the BBC. Effing hysterical if you understand it.

 

[NotWise]

No, don't feel old...but can you suggest where one can obtain a pencil? There's no antique stores where I live.

I admit that the pencils I have access to are antiques. the rubber erasers at the top are as hard as rock. If I wanted more, then they're still sold by the box at the office supply store.

 

[TxRad]

You forget, young man, that many of us are...

...what were we talking about, again?

I think it was, uh, Snook or something like that. Maybe that was part of my dream from earlier. Who can say. Naps are... uh, what they are.

 

[yukonnights]

Yikes. Is that double secret probation?

At this point it's just a threat...but I'm encouraged that you're taking it seriously

 

[yukonnights]

I admit that the pencils I have access to are antiques. the rubber erasers at the top are as hard as rock. If I wanted more, then they're still sold by the box at the office supply store.

This is actually good news. If the erasers are hard like a rock, that means you are a very good author who makes few mistakes. That they are sold by the box ...just goes to show how rare a talent you have.

 

[TxRad]

I admit that the pencils I have access to are antiques. the rubber erasers at the top are as hard as rock. If I wanted more, then they're still sold by the box at the office supply store.

They are cheaper at Walmart. No box, just plastic wrapped for freshness.

 

[NotWise]

Yikes. Is that double secret probation?

Is "double secret probation" from 'Animal House'? You know, the memory thing...

 

[SimonDoom]

Is "double secret probation" from 'Animal House'? You know, the memory thing...

Yes it is!

 

[NotWise]

Yes it is!

See, the long-term memory stays. The short term, not so much.

Odd that this should come to mind, but years ago when I was still in High School my best friend visited his grandmother in the sun room at her nursing home. The place was on a hill looking to the north as a winter storm came in. Another old woman watching the storm approach became very nervous. "Are the boys in from the field?" she asked. "It ain't safe. Are the boys in?" Over and over until the staff calmed her down.

She'd been a rancher's wife on the north plains. She may not have been able to remember what you told her two minutes ago, but she could remember the fear of having her sons caught out in a blizzard.

 

[yukonnights]

I'm proud to announce I have a Reading List ! In order to make this announcement, I needed not two...but three screens open. One for the story search/add+story, one for the CP+reading list and the third so I could share this important news to the world here on this thread. Some might be pleased to know, I didn't need an eraser.

My reading list consists of not one, but two highly rated Lesbian themed stories. They are strictly for research as I'm winding up my own little tale of this sordid behavior and wanted to see how it might compare. It is a new category for me, and even though my first reviewer (me) found it wonderfully written...I thought it best to make certain I got all the bits and pieces named right.

A big thank you for the help in getting this figured out

 

[yukonnights]

See, the long-term memory stays. The short term, not so much.

Odd that this should come to mind, but years ago when I was still in High School my best friend visited his grandmother in the sun room at her nursing home. The place was on a hill looking to the north as a winter storm came in. Another old woman watching the storm approach became very nervous. "Are the boys in from the field?" she asked. "It ain't safe. Are the boys in?" Over and over until the staff calmed her down.

She'd been a rancher's wife on the north plains. She may not have been able to remember what you told her two minutes ago, but she could remember the fear of having her sons caught out in a blizzard.

Perhaps that's a blessing. Imagine if all those old good memories were lost, and only the recent ones remained? I spend a good amount of time looking fondly back.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Perhaps that's a blessing. Imagine if all those old good memories were lost, and only the recent ones remained? I spend a good amount of time looking fondly back.

My expectation, inspired by my mother in her final week or two, when the room was awfully crowded with all of her childhood memories (her granny, her dad and so on), and then my older sister when she was just three; my expectation is that every girl, every woman I've ever loved, every gorgeous girl I've ever met, they'll all drop by to say hello, to remind me of those moments in time. That will do me, just fine.

 

[Hypoxia]

I get a fair number of favorites, but I believe that a significant number of them are people using the favorite option as a bookmaker in my series.

My backlist receives many faves and few un-faves. Some readers fave everything in a series; they stay forever. I'm happy.

I'm proud to announce I have a Reading List ! In order to make this announcement, I needed not two...but three screens open. One for the story search/add+story, one for the CP+reading list and the third so I could share this important news to the world here on this thread. Some might be pleased to know, I didn't need an eraser.

I always keep at least three LIT tabs open -- my story list for copying URLs, my old-CP activity list for comments and faves, and a forum tab. Then sometimes a story to read, but more often on my tablet.

 

[RosieVelvet]

AAAAAAaaaaaarggggghhhhhhhhh!

I am NOT a happy bunny.

My submission has been rejected and I am really, really pissed off.

First:

Did I check to make sure everything was spelled correctly?

Yes I friggin' well did. In accordance with the spelling conventions of my country and Chambers Dictionary.

Second:

Was there an underage (under 18 years old) sexual relationship in my story?

No there friggin' well is not. My protagonist is a mother in a jaded marriage. She has a 13-year-old daughter, as mothers in jaded marriages often do. It makes much more sense to indicate age and family status by showing a teenage daughetr than to state that she is a mother with a teenage daughter, Mother has to get daughter to a sleepover.. She does not think her daughter will spend her sleepover doing homework. Do 13-year-old do homework on sleepovers? Not unless 13-year-old girls have changed significantly in the last fifty years. Do they have steamy sex instead? Sometimes maybe but nobody in my story is suggesting that. Is there so much as a hint that she is being abused by her father? No, father is closet gay, which is incidental to the story.

Third:

As our submission FAQ states, we do not accept stories involving people under the age of 18 in sexual situations: http://www.literotica.com/faq/05235347.shtml#05319407 This includes but is not limited to talking explicitly about sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fantasizing, masturbation, and graphic sexualized descriptions, in addition to actual sexual intercourse.

A sexual act (masturbation) takes place in a closed bedroom. The above-mentioned daughter arrives home during the course of the act and mother is anxious that she doesn't burst in, but she neither sees nor hears the act. The most that she does is silently raise an eyebrow at her mother's rumpled hair and flushed face as she emerges from the bedroom ready for a night out. 13-year-old girls are not stupid.

Oh for fuck's sake, what's a girl to do? Nothing tonight. I'll sleep on it and wonder if it's worth the hassle in the morning.

 

[KeithD]

Here we go again.

 

[RosieVelvet]

Here we go again.

Here we go again what? No underage persons are in any way involved in sexual activity in my story. The one who does appear is part of the scenery. What's your hangup, Keith?

Twit filtered.

 

[KeithD]

My hangup? You're the one with the issue. We go through this twice a week. Perhaps you should have spent as much time reading in as you did in making a grand entrance.

 

[SimonDoom]

Here we go again what? No underage persons are in any way involved in sexual activity in my story. The one who does appear is part of the scenery. What's your hangup, Keith?

Twit filtered.

I wouldn't put it the same way as KeithD, but I think his point is that this site has its own peculiar rule on this subject. It doesn't matter whether it makes sense to you or to anyone else, and the quicker you realize that the easier it becomes to navigate the acceptance of stories. Laurel is the law, and she is not obligated to make sense to you. You are quite right that the rule excludes the narration of things that happen all the time, and even things that can be shown on prime time television. It doesn't matter. Excise under-18 children from scenes that have anything to do with sex and you'll be O.K. Interpret the rule strictly. It's very likely that you can do this without compromising your story in any significant way.

People get into trouble with this rule because they keep trying to figure out ways to navigate around it, applying what they regard as common sense, and that doesn't work. The best course is not to try. Don't go there.

 

[RosieVelvet]

My hangup? You're the one with the issue. We go through this twice a week. Perhaps you should have spent as much time reading in as you did in making a grand entrance.

Reading what? The rules? My story does not infringe the rules. Other stories? I've read a lot of them. Some are well-written. Many are excruciating. I'm no Booker contender but I know what I'm doing.

What's this about grand entrances? Was I supposed to sit meekly in the corner like a good little woman, not butting in with the men? It's the twenty-first century pal. Haud yer wheesht.

 

[RosieVelvet]

I wouldn't put it the same way as KeithD, but I think his point is that this site has its own peculiar rule on this subject. It doesn't matter whether it makes sense to you or to anyone else, and the quicker you realize that the easier it becomes to navigate the acceptance of stories. Laurel is the law, and she is not obligated to make sense to you. You are quite right that the rule excludes the narration of things that happen all the time, and even things that can be shown on prime time television. It doesn't matter. Excise under-18 children from scenes that have anything to do with sex and you'll be O.K. Interpret the rule strictly. It's very likely that you can do this without compromising your story in any significant way.

People get into trouble with this rule because they keep trying to figure out ways to navigate around it, applying what they regard as common sense, and that doesn't work. The best course is not to try. Don't go there.

Whenever I see the words "common sense" I see somebody who can't make a rational argument. It is perfectly idiotic in a writers' group to insist on all work being set in a world from which young people not involved in sexual activity have been excised? How do I portray somebody as a mother with parental responsibilities if she has not got children to be responsible for?

If my writing is better appreciated elsewhere then I'll take kt elsewhere.

 

[SimonDoom]

Whenever I see the words "common sense" I see somebody who can't make a rational argument. It is perfectly idiotic in a writers' group to insist on all work being set in a world from which young people not involved in sexual activity have been excised? How do I portray somebody as a mother with parental responsibilities if she has not got children to be responsible for?

If my writing is better appreciated elsewhere then I'll take kt elsewhere.

Well, this issue has nothing to do with whether your work would be appreciated here. You probably will get a larger and more appreciative audience for your stories here than anywhere else.

It's just a peculiar rule and there's no way to get around it.

Neither I nor any other writer here is endorsing, or is responsible for, this rule. This is not a "writers' group." It's a story site where the rules are imposed by one person, and we abide by them, regardless of whether we think they make sense. It's really not that difficult a rule to follow so long as one understands that the site manager interprets the rule in an extremely broad way.

 

[ElectricBlue]

A sexual act (masturbation) takes place in a closed bedroom. The above-mentioned daughter arrives home during the course of the act and mother is anxious that she doesn't burst in, but she neither sees nor hears the act. The most that she does is silently raise an eyebrow at her mother's rumpled hair and flushed face as she emerges from the bedroom ready for a night out. 13-year-old girls are not stupid.

That, right there, is enough to get the rejection - plus you have a thirteen year old girl, which is an immediate red flag for the site editor. An immediate flag.

You need to forget about the "reality" in your writing, and either lose the child or get her so far away from the action... no, I'd write her out completely, because in Literotica world, sixteen year olds might just exist with a one-liner, tops, but a thirteen year old, never. Not with sex in the house.

You can argue till the cows come home, but it is all irrelevant - Laurel's site, her rules. We have all learned this, and it's not hard - NO sexual activity even remotely involving minors. Not by proximity, not by suggestion, not by logic, not by veracity, not by law, just NOT.

It is the one policy that Laurel has no grey areas about. None. You either strip any sexual connection with the minor out of the story, or you pull the story.

Note also the rejection notices are standardised and generic. I can't really see your text being bounced due to spelling - just put a note in the editor's box that you are writing English English. As an aside, I do wonder why so many Brit writers get bounced on this - I have 85 submissions, every one in Australian English, and not a single bounce for spelling or punctuation - I wonder what Brits do differently, there must be something.

Anyway, it's clear the main reason for rejection is underage. Fix that, or fade quietly away.

 

[TxRad]

Here a scenario for you. U.S. court. Someone files charges against Lit for underage porn.
___________________________________________
Prosecution lawyer: Is there a 13 year old in this story?

The only answer is yes. It is not yes, but...

Is there sex in this story?

Yes again. There is no room for explanation.
____________________________________________

Do you see where this is going? Laurel is trying to cover her own ass and ours also since we do the writing around here.

 

[KeithD]

What's this about grand entrances? Was I supposed to sit meekly in the corner like a good little woman, not butting in with the men? It's the twenty-first century pal. Haud yer wheesht.

Ah, the feminist card--irrelevantly played. I think you're making my point very well, thanks.

Are you going to pay attention to what other regulars here are telling you or are you just going to grandstand? You may not even have to rewrite--I've had a few rejected for possible underage and when I responded that the presumed underage needed to be pointed out, they've all been cleared through without changes. Laurel doesn't have time to read the stories. In order to post a large volume of stories, she has chosen to challenge possible--not necessarily known--problems. Your rejection is in the form of "does it?" not the declaration that "it does." Otherwise, as others are telling you, this is Laurel's ballgame, her rules. The users don't get a vote. Your issue is with her, and if you get off your high horse and query her nicely about it, you might get your story published here. If you don't, that's not something rest of us are going to slit our wrists over.

If you'd done some reading in on the discussion board on this issue, you'd have known better than to charge in here like a wounded elephant when you've put underage children in your story and gotten an initial challenge from the submissions editor.

So, the question is are you going to work with Laurel on this, through returning the story with polite comments in the note box or by PM, or are you going to be a prima donna?

If the spelling issue is one of American vs. British spelling, yes, you might have trouble here (others have commented they did). This is an American-based site. I'm pretty sure that Laurel's policy is to let British spellings through, but she is not necessarily an expert on spelling variations. So, with your position on what you'll tolerate on spelling rules, yes, maybe you should find a British-based site. Or pay to put up your own site on your rules.

Laurel's a woman, incidentally. Your feminist card won't work any better with her than it did with me.