❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AlwaysFara]

#23

The Partner Influence

Are there any kinks or specific acts that you only tried because your partner wanted to try? Did they appeal afterwards? How much of what you like now has been influenced by partners of the past?

My ex had a foot fetish. I do not. The nice part were the massages. The meh parts were my feet in his mouth and his tongue between my toes. Not my thing, plus, I’m ticklish.
I don’t think I would ever seek it out again.
However, I am addicted to pedicures now, and great, non-white, shoes.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

... and great, non-white, shoes.

Ah ha ha!

I would like to try having my toes licked and sucked.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

My ex had a foot fetish. I do not. The nice part were the massages. The meh parts were my feet in his mouth and his tongue between my toes. Not my thing, plus, I’m ticklish.
I don’t think I would ever seek it out again.
However, I am addicted to pedicures now, and great, non-white, shoes.

I need to try a pedicure, I hear it is a good experience for men as well.

Ah ha ha!

I would like to try having my toes licked and sucked.

From a licker/sucker perspective, its not really my thing, but I understand the sensation of it. I've licked/sucked a few toes before and they recipients seemed to enjoy it.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

From a licker/sucker perspective, its not really my thing, but I understand the sensation of it. I've licked/sucked a few toes before and they recipients seemed to enjoy it.

Toes are not at the top of my 'Please Suck This' request list, but i think i like the idea of it as being symbolic of unconditional acceptance. I want to feel that my lover finds every part of me desireable and worthy of attention.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Toes are not at the top of my 'Please Suck This' request list, but i think i like the idea of it as being symbolic of unconditional acceptance. I want to feel that my lover finds every part of me desireable and worthy of attention.

Oh they are much more fun things to suck on

We all should be able to feel that. I've never understood why people don't seem capable of that sometimes.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Toes are not at the top of my 'Please Suck This' request list, but i think i like the idea of it as being symbolic of unconditional acceptance. I want to feel that my lover finds every part of me desireable and worthy of attention.

Yeah, no.
That’s not how it played out for me.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yeah, no.
That’s not how it played out for me.

I know.

 

[PapaRomantic]

I first started with my wife's feet before we were married. She is extremely ticklish, and she just knew there was no way I could ever touch her feet without her breaking out into laughter. So I proved her wrong, and now foot massages are one way I can show her love.

It's not so much sexual for us. It's more about doing what I can to make her feel good. With the chronic pain issues she fights every day, anything I can do to help her with is always a loving thing.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Some of the sexiest things men can do aren't inherently sexy.

But they meet a need, and make us feel however we need to feel to be able to relax and receive.

 

[LostGirlTink]

I tend to be pretty open to suggestions, and if there’s something that my partner wants to try, unless it crosses one of my hard limits, I’m at least willing to give it a shot.
And there have been several things that I was introduced to by a partner that are on my list of favorites

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Grrr, i love it. Just tell me how good i look while I'm sucking that tootsie pop

Kara! ❤

Whenever you're ready Miss.Honey.

Oh! Um... I'll make a note of that, thank you.

I love it. It’s a chance for us who can’t do audiophiles, for whatever reason, to be heard.

Yes. This.

I like listening, but i don't like making them. <awkward kitten >

 

[Paul_Chance]

I know a person with a shoe fetish, but I've never dated anyone with a foot fetish, so that's beyond my realm of experience. I was involved for a while with a sub who would wash my feet when I came home at the end of the day, but that was more about submissive behavior than an actual foot fetish. It was very nice and surprisingly addicting.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'm very fond of the idea of grooming my partner, within his comfort zone.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm very fond of the idea of grooming my partner, within his comfort zone.

Grooming is a powerful sensual activity - my former partner, in addition to washing my feet, also enjoyed bathing me or washing me in the shower, and shaving me with a cut-throat razor (a straight razor).

She got really into it, but the learning curve was steep in my terror, since she didn't know how when we got involved and I had to teach her how to hold it at a steady angle and not slip and cut me open.

A few years ago I had dinner with her and her current partner (she was in town on business) and she introduced me as the man who taught her to use a straight razor. He looked at me sincerely and said "that must have been terrifying". Uh, yep.

She got nothing out of being groomed, preferring instead to groom herself under my watchful eye and on my command, which again was the submissive part of her.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Grooming is a powerful sensual activity - my former partner, in addition to washing my feet, also enjoyed bathing me or washing me in the shower, and shaving me with a cut-throat razor (a straight razor).

She got really into it, but the learning curve was steep in my terror, since she didn't know how when we got involved and I had to teach her how to hold it at a steady angle and not slip and cut me open.

A few years ago I had dinner with her and her current partner (she was in town on business) and she introduced me as the man who taught her to use a straight razor. He looked at me sincerely and said "that must have been terrifying". Uh, yep.

She got nothing out of being groomed, preferring instead to groom herself under my watchful eye and on my command, which again was the submissive part of her.

Yes! Washing and shaving. I saved a GB thread all about straight razors for future reference. I'd love to dress him, too... be taught how to do it all properly. Tie, cufflinks, pocket square, everything.

Receiving? Bathing, massage, washing my hair, applying scented lotion after my shower, rubbing my neck and shoulders when i have a migraine, that all sounds good. It's especially comforting when I'm feeling unwell.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Yes! Washing and shaving. I saved a GB thread all about straight razors for future reference. I'd love to dress him, too... be taught how to do it all properly. Tie, cufflinks, pocket square, everything.

Receiving? Bathing, massage, washing my hair, applying scented lotion after my shower, rubbing my neck and shoulders when i have a migraine, that all sounds good. It's especially comforting when I'm feeling unwell.

Yeah, I agree - it's a great feeling, especially when you're under the weather for one reason or the other. Most of my relationships have involved grooming exchanges of one form or another, which is about the most rudimentary primate behavior there is and still as powerful as when we were wandering the plains of Africa and picking bugs off each other.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yeah, I agree - it's a great feeling, especially when you're under the weather for one reason or the other. Most of my relationships have involved grooming exchanges of one form or another, which is about the most rudimentary primate behavior there is and still as powerful as when we were wandering the plains of Africa and picking bugs off each other.

Ack! Haha!

My most powerful memories from my last two partners involve being touched in affectionate, but non-sexual ways. That's when a lot of the bonding happens, i think.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Ack! Haha!

My most powerful memories from my last two partners involve being touched in affectionate, but non-sexual ways. That's when a lot of the bonding happens, i think.

I agree. I think sex is the bee's knees and all, but relationships are built in the thousand tiny things, not the least of which is casual touch and casual comfortable contact.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

To jump into it, I enjoy "combing" a partner's hair with my fingers. Especially when just lazily hanging out on the couch or something, and I have had someone shave my face before. I've always wanted to have someone shave my genitals however, I don't know if I would trust my hand on theirs though. I've seen a few instances of it and it seems deeply romantic in a way.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#23

The Partner Influence

Are there any kinks or specific acts that you only tried because your partner wanted to try? Did they appeal afterwards? How much of what you like now has been influenced by partners of the past?

I think most of my more kinky stuff has been influenced more by conversation that actually acting them out with a partner. A few things - namely Oral Servitude - are things I enjoy and therefore he gets to enjoy.
In an early relationship, he wanted to try bondage and sweet, lil ole, naive me just went along for the ride because - I knew no better! Had no idea to ask about experience or how to get out of the situation if I got overwhelmed. So, totally tied up, blindfolded and gagged with a partner who (in retrospect) had zero idea of what he was doing - I had a full on panic attack and the idea of that makes me nervous to this day. I don't think I will ever dabble in full sensory deprivation again.
I find I'm the one pushing more to try things in my current relationship.
More than any other thing partners have influenced what I like and how I feel in both good and bad ways. I've found that the good things in one partner lead to an immediate attraction in another partner. And the bad in someone can leave lasting insecurities.
Examples -
Good - My hair - I've had partners compliment my hair. I've had them pull my hair during those "take me" moments. And so partners interacting with my hair has a way of automatically turning me on and making me feel pretty and wanted.
Bad - Withholding Compliments - I am with some who purposely withholds positive words for "reasons' (not worth going into) but it (and a Southern humble sensibility) has left me with an almost complete inability to believe anything nice. Also, the weird fear of someone withdrawing affection already given.

This isn't BDSM related at all and I'm rambling but the point is - partners are influential which means YOU are influential. Be mindful. Be a good partner and leave good effects in your wake.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

I think most of my more kinky stuff has been influenced more by conversation that actually acting them out with a partner. A few things - namely Oral Servitude - are things I enjoy and therefore he gets to enjoy.
In an early relationship, he wanted to try bondage and sweet, lil ole, naive me just went along for the ride because - I knew no better! Had no idea to ask about experience or how to get out of the situation if I got overwhelmed. So, totally tied up, blindfolded and gagged with a partner who (in retrospect) had zero idea of what he was doing - I had a full on panic attack and the idea of that makes me nervous to this day. I don't think I will ever dabble in full sensory deprivation again.
I find I'm the one pushing more to try things in my current relationship.
More than any other thing partners have influenced what I like and how I feel in both good and bad ways. I've found that the good things in one partner lead to an immediate attraction in another partner. And the bad in someone can leave lasting insecurities.
Examples -
Good - My hair - I've had partners compliment my hair. I've had them pull my hair during those "take me" moments. And so partners interacting with my hair has a way of automatically turning me on and making me feel pretty and wanted.
Bad - Withholding Compliments - I am with some who purposely withholds positive words for "reasons' (not worth going into) but it (and a Southern humble sensibility) has left me with an almost complete inability to believe anything nice. Also, the weird fear of someone withdrawing affection already given.

This isn't BDSM related at all and I'm rambling but the point is - partners are influential which means YOU are influential. Be mindful. Be a good partner and leave good effects in your wake.

Thank you for sharing PLP. I know that's not always easy. I've never understood the withholding of affection, for any reason, BDSM related or not. Any relationship, pairing should ultimately be about building something. Whether that is just building to a orgasm or building toward a future.

I know that degradation is a huge thing fro many of us in the online/bdsm community, however even that should be done with the purpose of building something after. I don't know how many times we can stress it but AFTERCARE AFTERCARE AFTERCARE. Sorry, rant . I had someone recently experience their first subdrop (not with me) and it was pretty hard on her. She didn't get the aftercare she needed and it bothered me.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Unexpect Consequences of Unexpected Blindfold

Okay, I am going to date myself a bit with this story, but PLP's experience reminded me of it and I thought everyone might get a chuckle out of it.

In the early 80's I was deployed in Lebanon and spent six months there actively dodging being kidnapped and taken hostage. I made it through fine and returned to the US, to TDY at the Pentagon while awaiting re-assignment.

One of my fellow soldiers, who had been in Lebanon, and I were out drinking one night in DC at some totally shady, vaguely bondage themed club when he got picked up by this hot little number in leather and chains. He was a wee bit drunk (e.g. blind drunk), but he seemed to know what he wanted so I left and caught a cab home.

The next time I saw him he told me that he vaguely remembered the bar and the woman and then....

He woke up, tied (four corners) to the bed and blindfolded. He totally freaked out and thought he had been kidnapped by Hezbollah and went into full on struggle and escape mode to the point where his bucking and jerking actually pulled the bed apart (to the sounds of a screaming woman).

When he got free he ripped off the blindfold and found himself standing in a pair of leather underwear in the middle of a ripped up room with a hysterical blonde in a bondage harness trying to calm him down.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Okay, I am going to date myself a bit with this story, but PLP's experience reminded me of it and I thought everyone might get a chuckle out of it.

In the early 80's I was deployed in Lebanon and spent six months there actively dodging being kidnapped and taken hostage. I made it through fine and returned to the US, to TDY at the Pentagon while awaiting re-assignment.

One of my fellow soldiers, who had been in Lebanon, and I were out drinking one night in DC at some totally shady, vaguely bondage themed club when he got picked up by this hot little number in leather and chains. He was a wee bit drunk (e.g. blind drunk), but he seemed to know what he wanted so I left and caught a cab home.

The next time I saw him he told me that he vaguely remembered the bar and the woman and then....

He woke up, tied (four corners) to the bed and blindfolded. He totally freaked out and thought he had been kidnapped by Hezbollah and went into full on struggle and escape mode to the point where his bucking and jerking actually pulled the bed apart (to the sounds of a screaming woman).

When he got free he ripped off the blindfold and found himself standing in a pair of leather underwear in the middle of a ripped up room with a hysterical blonde in a bondage harness trying to calm him down.

Ok, so I know that flashbacks are horrible. BUT HOT DAMN THIS IS FUNNY. I hope he gets a chuckle out of it after. Poor girl, must of been so damn confused.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Ok, so I know that flashbacks are horrible. BUT HOT DAMN THIS IS FUNNY. I hope he gets a chuckle out of it after. Poor girl, must of been so damn confused.

He laughed about it afterwards (though I am sure it was terrifying). He also said one of the funniest things I always remember.

After we got back, we all basically dashed out and got laid as soon as possible.

He said that the first woman he slept with, when he came, he came like an RPG, with a roaring scream and a giant cloud of dust coming out of his cock.

(An RPG, a rocket propelled grenade, kicks up an immense plume of dust when fired in a hot and dry environment like a desert or a desert city. So it was a very entertaining visual.)

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

He laughed about it afterwards (though I am sure it was terrifying). He also said one of the funniest things I always remember.

After we got back, we all basically dashed out and got laid as soon as possible.

He said that the first woman he slept with, when he came, he came like an RPG, with a roaring scream and a giant cloud of dust coming out of his cock.

(An RPG, a rocket propelled grenade, kicks up an immense plume of dust when fired in a hot and dry environment like a desert or a desert city. So it was a very entertaining visual.)

OMFG I'm dying. fuck my side hurts. We used to joke about being like a RPG. All umpfh and no finesse XD

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/7DCGhap6tP8/hqdefault.jpg