❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[PrettyLilPussy19]

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?

 

[AlwaysFara]

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?

Ahhhhh.

Yes. Those are all good.

(sorry!)

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?

Well those situations are a bit different, I think there should be a better word than roleplay or sexting for them but I don't know what to call them. I love those situations, your mind is a powerful place and it can draw you into a world that you or the words of another create.

I think it could be an interesting way to explore some things, I think it could lead to unrealistic exceptions of how something feels though. 50 Shades turned on hundreds of thousand of couples, but how many of them actually liked the paddle when they tried it?

 

[Psychprofgal]

I don’t have a lot to add intellectually. Everyone if different, fortunately.

I can enjoy about anything as long as it’s with my husband. Except for pain or disrespect or demeaning, and he may push some limits but I always know my best interests are in his heart. I couldn’t know that with another.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

A world of words.

This stood out to me. And it can be a lovely and mesmerizing place that is easy to get lost in. Where time, distance and circumstances fade into the abyss and all that's left is your thoughts and feelings - your words. It's dangerous.

Perfectly said Indie

 

[cascadiabound]

A world of words.

This stood out to me. And it can be a lovely and mesmerizing place that is easy to get lost in. Where time, distance and circumstances fade into the abyss and all that's left is your thoughts and feelings - your words. It's dangerous.

This. I don't think I have more to say than this.
Thank you Indie.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I've been roleplaying all my life. I just want to be me now.

 

[LostGirlTink]

I've been roleplaying all my life. I just want to be me now.

Yesssssss.. this. So much this.
All my life I've been who other people want me to be, expected me to be, needed me to be.
I've found that she bears little resemblance to the me I actually am a good portion of the time. It's so freeing to be with the people who see, appreciate and like me as I actually am.

 

[AlwaysFara]

A world of words.

This stood out to me. And it can be a lovely and mesmerizing place that is easy to get lost in. Where time, distance and circumstances fade into the abyss and all that's left is your thoughts and feelings - your words. It's dangerous.

Problem is, there are more feels than words.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Problem is, there are more feels than words.

Feels are sneaky little fuckers aren't they?

 

[cascadiabound]

True, there's not enough words in the world for all the feelings. Or, the right ones just don't exist yet.

When words fail...we have art. And music.
And silence that speaks volumes.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

When words fail...we have art. And music.
And silence that speaks volumes.

I was going to say this exact thing

 

[AlwaysFara]

I’ll take touch.

Long distance is rough.

 

[LostGirlTink]

I’ll take touch.

Long distance is rough.

Yeah.
That.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#19 (submitted)

Roleplaying
Roleplaying IRL and online. How into role-playing are you IRL or online? Taking punishment as an example - does your arousal come from being punished and you don't really care why, or is the "why" a huge part getting into subspace or domspace for you? How important is the storyline?

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?

Sometimes I hate answering these questions because they seem very personal or like I give too much of myself away in the answering. I like a little role play but always as a version of myself. It triggers and inspired that story teller in me and I can say the best parts of my stories have been inspired to a degree by it.

The lead up, the tension, the anticipation in most cases is better than the sexy part. (Well not better but it's the biggest variable, if that makes sense.) So, if we are talking punishment, the why would be hugely important.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

And, if by chance, anyone is looking for some great holiday themed role play ideas -

I would suggest Pt 2 - around the 23 minute mark.

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=90024662&postcount=469

 

[seela]

Nope.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Sometimes I hate answering these questions because they seem very personal or like I give too much of myself away in the answering

Yes, definitely. Thank you for doing it today, you've sparked a memory. Wanna hear?

Okay, it's important to know that i get off on being a genuinely good girl. The thought of playing a naughty anything is a huge turn off. But i have a close friend whose brand of humor is brilliant, quiet sarcasm delivered with a phenomenal poker face, and i just can't say no to him.

He works as a travelling salesman, and one day we were goofing around in high spirits and slipped into this RP in which i was initially just along for the ride... until he started pimping me out to close his deals. Short skirts, stripper heels... i think he was throwing in some drugs to sweeten the pot by the time we were finished.

I had to stop when it started feeling real, but watching his creativity unleashed was a blast.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't RP, in no small part because I'm too unwhimsical and unimaginative for things like that.

I don't do it in part because i am so imaginative that it becomes disturbingly real quite quickly.


* * * * * * *

eta: I'm not sure what the official definition of roleplay is, but for me it includes at least one partner behaving in a way that is out of character for them.

Otherwise, I'm just being me, from a distance.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...

As a writer, I can appreciate the creativity involved, but it does nothing for me sexually.

Fara said it beautifully already:

Pretty much what indie said. I don’t get off being someone else.
My feels are connected to my orgasms, and I want to be me, and I want him to be him. I want the here and now.
It has no appeal for me.

 

[Eliphaz]

#19 (submitted)

Roleplaying
Roleplaying IRL and online. How into role-playing are you IRL or online? Taking punishment as an example - does your arousal come from being punished and you don't really care why, or is the "why" a huge part getting into subspace or domspace for you? How important is the storyline?

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?

Either there is some part of my brain missing or I've never learned, but role playing in the sense of adopting a character and acting out a part, either online or IRL, just doesn't work for me. I'm fine with whatever kind of personal, dirty, libidinous conversations, but when it comes to role-playing a part I just.. don't know how. And that's not too appealing.

 

[cookiecat]

I like dirty chat. It's hard, though, to put , finger on what exactly I like. If someone types, "come sit in daddy's lap... grins at you" - I just can't. If we start having a conversation as if we were sitting across from each other that devolves in to talking about why I like anal, I'm all for it.

When I was new to bdsm and all online, I had super feels for online monkey business. I remember thinking I was in love. It was really lust. I'd get on cam and follow instructions. Maybe not the same as role playing? As other have said, it was ME. I wasn't pretending to be a naughty neighbor or someone's mommy.

As a former phone sex operator, I was a master role-player and actually a master manipulator. I role played the shit out of a scene to get one more minute, one more buck. Maybe that's why it falls flat. I also dated someone I really really liked but he couldn't have sex without wanting to be a naughty boy. UGH. He wanted me to be the strict head mistress and pull his pants down, yada yada. It could never just be us. Made me feel less than. I wonder if having an affair somehow falls under "role playing?" Because really, would I be my authentic self? I'm only showing one side of me, right? /tangent

These days, I still enjoy a dirty conversation - but it just lacks. It's so temporary. I don't want to know the person, I don't want pictures, I want to keep it in my head - I don't want real. I want a moment in time, I want to get off and be done with it. Even in those conversations, though, I'm pretty much me. Someone will ask, what are you wearing? And I say, sweats and a sweater. Oh! Wait! Was I supposed to pretend and play I'm sitting here with heels and stockings, as one does on a Tuesday night, home alone? I'm in sweats, eating day old pizza, trying to get off. Maybe that's a little too real!!

I'm not sure I discussed role playing at all??

What I crave is real life. Legs not shaved, laundry to do, 3,000 other things pulling at us, but we find the time to be intimate, we find a way to create D/s. I want someone to lust/love/be with me.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Interesting take on the affair. Because we only show our sexy side, our best side?

 

[cookiecat]

Interesting take on the affair. Because we only show our sexy side, our best side?

Right. And maybe even role play that side -- so it's an exaggerated version?

I don't really know - I've been the other woman but I was single. I was always "on" -- never really myself. Was I playing a role? I think so.

 

[Eliphaz]

If someone types, "come sit in daddy's lap... grins at you" - I just can't.

I don't know whether that was meant as a response to what I said but it gets across what I was thinking better than I think I was able to. There's a whole category of interactions like that where my overwhelming feeling is "I just can't". If someone I care about really needs me to help them explore a kink I'll do my very best even if it isn't necessarily my thing, but I'm keenly aware that to some degree I'm pretending and I know that's a poor substitute for real eagerness. Roleplaying, especially online, feels like it's *all* that kind of pretending and I feel like I need a script or something to do it right.

If a friendly conversation devolves into smut, to some degree we're still ourselves though I'm sure we all show different faces in different situations to some degree. But at least I'm not forced to try to keep track of the script. My favorites start with someone asking "what is it about X that you get off on?" and trying to figure it out. But I still feel like I'm just not equipped for something that is clearly worthwhile for lots of other people.