Am I the only person sat in church having sexual thoughts?

[DDBustyBrit]

One of these Sundays I’m going to be struck down for what’s going on in my head, looking around the congregation...

Random but regular thoughts I might have had in church recently:

1. I wonder what the Pastors like in bed, he’s hot!
2. Maybe I could press my boobs against him (not the Pastor) when we greet?
3. Damn I’d like to fuck that?
4. Her husbands really hot!
5. I need to break this gaze lock we keep having, but I want him to know I’m hot for him.
6. He so would, and we both know it, poor wife!
7. I need to bump into him anywhere but here!
8. God I’d love to blow him (note* not said as a prayer)

Please tell me I’m not alone!

 

[default24]

It's been like 15 years since I've been to church but I do remember a cute girl that was a grade behind me that had HUGE boobs. She would try to cover them up with the dresses she wore, but every now and then just couldn't completely get the job done. Those were good Sundays

 

[mnbreastluver]

Nope not at all especially on Easter. All the women wearing their Easter dresses. Yeah, my head spun on lots of sexual thoughts for sure.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Every week I seem to end up scanning the sanctuary and fantasizing about the hot women. I often literally get fully hard. Something so taboo about it...

 

[PuckIt]

I will neither confirm nor deny that I may or may not have taken a young lady in the baptismal behind the choir loft... during the sermon. And I don't care what he says, there were NO eyewitnesses. The absolute most he knew was that we went in there while his Dad was preaching.

 

[done_got_old]

Nope. You aren’t.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Y’all (said in a British accent so it sounds even funnier than when you guys say it)

Are making me feel so much better

Now let’s have some dirt dished please.....share those bad thoughts?

 

[OpenBlouse]

I think this is normal. Church is where we confront our sins head on. The hard part is when you are sorry but not sorry! Kwim?

 

[mnbreastluver]

I think this is normal. Church is where we confront our sins head on. The hard part is when you are sorry but not sorry! Kwim?

Wouldn’t want to go to confession. Although I’ve always wondered if the priests end up stroking to confessions they’ve heard.

 

[Taegul]

So the OP wonders if they are the only one...

So many priest/altar boy jokes coming to mind. Don't do it, Taegul, just let it go...

TAEGUL! Just don't do it, man. Take the high road for just one damn time in your life!

 

[Little_Sister]

So the OP wonders if they are the only one...

So many priest/altar boy jokes coming to mind. Don't do it, Taegul, just let it go...

TAEGUL! Just don't do it, man. Take the high road for just one damn time in your life!

Cough*Pussy*Cough

 

[Taegul]

Cough*Pussy*Cough

Wow, I've never heard a pussy cough before. I could play doctor if you want to get that checked out...

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Wow, I've never heard a pussy cough before. I could play doctor if you want to get that checked out...

LOL you obviously haven’t met the right woman!

 

[tedsbeds]

LOL you obviously haven’t met the right woman!

Pussy cough? I've heard pussy fast. Sexual though in church ? Why not?

 

[Plane_Guy]

LOL you obviously haven’t met the right woman!

That's funny. ^---------

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I'm the pastor, and while the occasional dirty thought does pop into my head during service, they're much more common at coffee hour afterwards. During church there's about 20 different things I'm trying to keep track of, while trying to forget that every eye in the room is looking at me (and I really, really hate public speaking. I might be in the wrong profession). But once I say the final "amen," I can relax, the nerves wash away, and then I might finally notice the low-cut top or the slighty-too-short-for-church skirt that would normally demand all my attention.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I'm the pastor, and while the occasional dirty thought does pop into my head during service, they're much more common at coffee hour afterwards. During church there's about 20 different things I'm trying to keep track of, while trying to forget that every eye in the room is looking at me (and I really, really hate public speaking. I might be in the wrong profession). But once I say the final "amen," I can relax, the nerves wash away, and then I might finally notice the low-cut top or the slighty-too-short-for-church skirt that would normally demand all my attention.

OMG now here is a reply I really didn’t expect to see, but thank you! This really makes me feel better, thank goodness you’re not my pastor, we could get into some really bad situations lol!

Are you taking prayer requests for our sins?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

OMG now here is a reply I really didn’t expect to see, but thank you! This really makes me feel better, thank goodness you’re not my pastor, we could get into some really bad situations lol!

Are you taking prayer requests for our sins?

I wouldn't worry about bad situations. I'm mostly harmless. 90% of the time, the only low-cut top in the congregation belongs to my wife (and with her DD's, anything short of a turtleneck becomes low-cut). The other 10% is usually a lady named Phyllis, who is very sweet, but with a very cavalier attitude towards propriety, and who is also roughly 50 years older than me. We call her Nana.

 

[inkandiridiumnibs]

Does getting expelled from a Christian School count for eating cookies in the confessional?

 

[tinymatt4inch]

absolutely not. I got caught fucking in church hahhaha

 

[Jada59]

I am no longer a church goer. But I will say that my mom was the secretary for one church and as such, I spent far more time in there than I wanted to, left to my own devices. There usually weren't very many other people in there, but I would wander around and as I did so, let my mind wander.

At that same church, my mom and I once took belly dancing lessons. They were taught by an elderly woman who kept working sex into the stuff she was teaching us. Now I must say that she and the other women were not at all sexually appealing to me but once again, I let my mind wander. Was thinking about my guy at the time and how some of these moves could be done with him.

Another time, my friend and I ran the daycare for a different church. Thankfully not for very long as I neither of us were cut out for that job. We were once asked to clean out the attic. We found some strange things up there. And again, my mind wandered, wondering who used those things and for what!

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Raised catholic. Went to catholic school before becoming non-religious.

It would be difficult for me to estimate how many hours of my life have been spent thinking about fucking in a confessional. Green light. Red light. And sin.

 

[Angedesoleil]

I am no longer a church goer. But I will say that my mom was the secretary for one church and as such, I spent far more time in there than I wanted to, left to my own devices. There usually weren't very many other people in there, but I would wander around and as I did so, let my mind wander.

At that same church, my mom and I once took belly dancing lessons. They were taught by an elderly woman who kept working sex into the stuff she was teaching us. Now I must say that she and the other women were not at all sexually appealing to me but once again, I let my mind wander. Was thinking about my guy at the time and how some of these moves could be done with him.

Another time, my friend and I ran the daycare for a different church. Thankfully not for very long as I neither of us were cut out for that job. We were once asked to clean out the attic. We found some strange things up there. And again, my mind wandered, wondering who used those things and for what!

In sorry, I might have just gotten way too happy that you and I have so much in common. My father ( when I was young) was a priest, my mom ( after he left) was a church secretary. Oh I understand EXACTLY what you're talking about.
I spent the vast majority of my free time as a kid running all over church grounds. Yeah, got into my fair share of mischief. I'd love to hear your thoughts on how accurate Seventh Heaven was for you .

As for naughtiness at church .... a couple youth group trips come to mind, a sleepover with a boy scout troop ( what, I was helping my boyfriend with his eagle scout project! Not my fault I was the only girl!) And an acolyte retreat. Lock ins... yeah... lock ins were fun things. I'm an angel really!

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Raised catholic. Went to catholic school before becoming non-religious.

It would be difficult for me to estimate how many hours of my life have been spent thinking about fucking in a confessional. Green light. Red light. And sin.

Lol from what I’ve heard Catholics may be somewhat repressed sexually, but there’s a whole lot of naughtiness boiling just under the surface!

 

[Led_Astray]

I haven't set foot in a church for any reason other than a wedding or funeral for quite some time. Seems a strange place to be contemplating adultery if you are sincere in your beliefs...

That said, of course, we are only human, and lust is not something you have much control over feeling, no mater what the commandments say.