Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[cascadiabound]

Um. Oops?

In my defense, I was watching the sunrise for the second time since I'd slept. For maybe the... third time in a week? (Yes, I don't do the sleep thing very well.)

What I actually meant to say was "...not wanting to be needing Daddy so much..."

At least I think that is what I meant to say. Not sure at this point. Not sure I've refilled my sleep tank.

No worries about the oops and I am not sure it was an oops. It is fodder for good on-going conversation. I trust you got some sleep by now.

 

[cascadiabound]

I can't keep living like this, wanting and needing and wishing and hoping... and not getting. It's time for me to pull on my big girl knickers, learn how to meet my own needs (or manage without), and get on with life.

Congratulations, good luck, and best wishes to everyone.

Be well Honey. Hope you aren't really going anywhere.

 

[SubTulip]

I can't keep living like this, wanting and needing and wishing and hoping... and not getting. It's time for me to pull on my big girl knickers, learn how to meet my own needs (or manage without), and get on with life.

Congratulations, good luck, and best wishes to everyone.

Sending love and hugs

 

[DarkSimian]

I can't keep living like this, wanting and needing and wishing and hoping... and not getting. It's time for me to pull on my big girl knickers, learn how to meet my own needs (or manage without), and get on with life.

Congratulations, good luck, and best wishes to everyone.

I wish you well, Honey, but hope that this doesn't mean you are leaving us forever...

 

[Angedesoleil]

It is said that “a Top is for tonight, a Dominant is for as long as she is submissive, a Master is there until she is no longer a slave, but a Daddy is forever.” Daddy may have to give his girl away to a husband. He may eventually run out of things to teach his little girl. She may ultimately not need his sage advice and his experience any more. Hopefully he will be too old by then to have to deal with it, because when there is nothing left to teach, no need for a confidant, no discipline needing to be meted out, when his little girl no longer needs her Daddy, that’s when he will die inside. The need that Daddy has for his girl is every bit as potent as the need she has for her Daddy. ~ WizarDavid

I admit I've been quietly lurking and keeping an eye on this thread from a distance for a while. And some of the things said have both touched me and have set me off center.


I can hear what is being said about not needing Daddy. Or about needing more than Daddy. Other people besides Daddy. I can hear and understand what is said about wanting to protect Daddy from quick trigger outbursts. Or not wanting to be a constant bother. And, in truth, the DD in me both applauds and cringes to hear and read it.


But, I think a lot of that goes back to what I think being here for a little means in my mind. And maybe I'm just not understanding just what it is a little really needs.


To me, I should be her biggest fan. I should be her cheerleader. I should know not only all of her triumphs but what she attempts to do that is beyond her. And I should cheer just as loud, if not louder, for the attempts that she makes to better herself. To reach beyond her grasp. Because it means that she is growing. That she is beginning to see herself as I do, how much more she is capable of beyond her fears and insecurities.


To me, I should be her biggest confidant. I should know more about her than anyone. I should know the embarrassing things. Those which she feels are shameful. I should know her secret desires and longings. I should be the one she first thinks of when she needs an understanding ear.

To me, I should be her protection. Her shield against threats that would harm her, both real and perceived, that she is not quite ready to tackle on her own. For her to shelter in the embrace of someone else, even if it is a circle of friends, means, to me, that I have failed in my most important duty as a Daddy. I have failed to be her safe place. The place where she knows that nothing can harm her unless it comes through me first.

To me, I should be her mentor. I should constantly strive to teach her everything I know. Or, when I run out of things I know that she doesn't, I should push her to learn more and be more. As much as she can. Even when that means I have to shut the hell up and let someone else teach her. And, yes. Even when it comes to protecting herself, without a need for me as a shield.

Even once I have nothing left to teach her that she doesn't already know, I should still serve as a guide. As a counselor. I should be willing to go to any lengths I need to support her and nudge her back on the path when her own fears and insecurities scream in her beautiful brain, "I can't do this!" Even... or perhaps especially... when that guidance means directing her to someone else who can teach what I do not know.


To me, no matter what happens, I should be her anchor. Her stone shelter that she knows she can come back to and be welcomed with open arms, no matter how far and wide she might venture and leave me behind. That I will never turn her away. Never turn my back on her. Even when she doesn't need me anymore.


Where I admit I have always struggled is with discipline. My temptation is going to be to spoil her. To love her and accept her whatever she might have done. And it truly does hurt me worse than it hurts her for me to have to call her down for doing something she shouldn't have, and that she knew better than to do. But, it also makes me wonder and look over my own actions and inactions that she might have felt like that was a good idea, or I might not have cared. And, maybe it's a mistake. But, I don't get angry with her. And I make sure to tell her that, each and every time she begs me not to be mad. That I am not and have never been angry with her. That my disappointment, my frustration, and even my anger are directed at myself that I didn't do a better job, that I didn't head her off and keep her from doing such a thing.

I don't know. There are times when I really question just what I am. But, I think it's because a Daddy is only a Daddy when has a little. And, when she comes to me and those feelings wash over and through me, I know in my blood and bone that this is what I am. I am her Daddy. For as long as she needs me and is willing to allow me to be.

And, yes. When she doesn't turn to me first to have a need met, and I find out, a part of me withers just a little bit. It breaks my heart just a little bit. And I feel like I have let her down.


But, maybe it's no bad thing for me, and perhaps some other Daddies, to read what some littles have written on these last few pages. About not relying solely on Daddy. About sometimes guarding Daddy from her own quick trigger responses. About sometimes wanting to stand on her own and not be such a bother (which I never think). To be reminded that it is not about what I want from her, but what she needs me to be.


Because I think if I actively want to be all she has and needs, if I actively object to her protecting me from her trigger responses and not letting me see her as she really is if that is what she wants to do, if I actively try to stop her from dealing with things herself without telling me rather than sharing them with me in a timely manner, then maybe I'm not being the Daddy I should be, that I want to be. Maybe I've given her chains instead of wings. And if I can't grow large enough that she doesn't have to shrink in on herself to continue being my little, then perhaps I have served my purpose and it's time for this stone shelter stand empty except for memories.


Thank you, all of you brave, strong women, for speaking out and teaching (or perhaps just reminding) me , at least, something I sometimes am in danger of forgetting. I don't have to try to remember to wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly to me. But, I sometimes struggle with remembering to let her slip from my embrace so that she can do and be more than she could have been sheltering in my shadow.

https://image.dhgate.com/0x0/f2/albu/g1/M00/F2/F9/rBVaGFZpCgCAbphDAAJps2GbIlQ322.jpg

Puck.... I couldn't clap louder. I've been sick. Really sick. To the extent I've not been on here much for *days*. I'm late in my reply to Tulip, but you did it first. Better than I could have.

I hear what some are saying about guarding him, not adding. But to me, I HAVE to strip down those walls. That's what he gets. He gets all of me. Not the garnished pretty made up version. Not the squishy love starry eyed me. Not the service oriented submissive who will bend over inside out to please him. No. DADDY gets me. All of me. When I stop long enough to filter. When I pause long enough to catch my breath... I took what's his.

He gets all of me. That's what he is. And vice versa. I get all of him. I get to hold him and comfort him and listen to the venting.

This is where I am now. It needs to never change. Yes, I'll grow, and get stronger and be in a safer place someday. But I'll still always need daddy. Isn't that part of being a little/middle? It is to me. I never get jaded. The hurts don't hurt less. Disappointment is never expected and thus rocks me deeply. That doesn't mean I'm a ball of unresolved angst. I'm not. But he gets to see it all. Even when my first instinct is sometimes to hide it.... if he asks.... he gets that key. It's his for the taking.

Here is my bone to pick.... ready? People are saying she grows string enough not to rely.... But who says that's Better? Do you grow out of little? I don't. I don't feel like I'm shrinking myself to remain little... I'm string enough not to mask. I'm string enough yo admit I fucking need him. He isn't optional. He's necessary. He's as necessary as air.


Edit: once I read cascadia's...I think for me, it's how I preface my *blurt or emotional blah* . No, I don't need to make his life worse. Yes, I'm constantly concerned that I don't add to his stress... But I know that keeping my whole self from him DOES add to that stress. The more open, real, honest, unfiltered I am the less he has to play detective. He once said it doesn't take a psychic to read an open book. I think he's most at ease when he knows I'm not keeping anything. Not sure how much that has to do with my style of communication. He'd have to answer that.

 

[cascadiabound]

[snip]
... But I know that keeping my whole self from him DOES add to that stress. The more open, real, honest, unfiltered I am the less he has to play detective. He once said it doesn't take a psychic to read an open book. I think he's most at ease when he knows I'm not keeping anything. Not sure how much that has to do with my style of communication. He'd have to answer that.

I especially like the bit I bolded above.
Yes. I agree that the one of the most important things we owe our DD's is transparency in how we are, who we are, what is going on with us, etc etc.
We should not expect them to read our minds, play detective or guess our needs.

On the flip side, I count on the same from him.

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[barefootgirl69]

The above is an example of what I was referring to in my earlier post it’s easy for me to have trigger responses as I’m an emotional and fiery person but to actually just say what I mean and feel when I feel hurt or vulnerable is unbelievably hard. However for my Daddy and me it works best for me to just have a stripped back blurt if you like. As in the example I gave above. So it serves two purposes for us me not just dumping and me lowering my hardest wall.

I get this!!! When I'm afraid or something or not sure I quite want the answer, I clam.up. "That's okay, no problem. I was just being silly/tired/anything but admit the truth and said I need reassurance and answers, but without the questions, okay? Read my mind".

It's a trust issue for me. Maybe. Definitely, it's an issue of "will he mock me, put me down, make me feel stupid" and that's all left over from previous marriage.

Daddy though has "Daddy-sense" and knows when I'm upset, even when I'm in tears on the phone not saying a word, and that compassion he shows, that caring, love... he knows me inside and out, and I have learned there's nothing I can't share.

Relationships don't happen overnight. It's a growing, evolving, live thing.

 

[SubTulip]

.......

 

[Angedesoleil]

I can see that side of it. I think we are just at different places in our walks *nodsnods*. I'm proud of you for facing that change if that's what your relationship needs. Hugs tightly.

 

[SubTulip]

I can see that side of it. I think we are just at different places in our walks *nodsnods*. I'm proud of you for facing that change if that's what your relationship needs. Hugs tightly.

Aw thank you hugs tightly back

 

[LostGirlTink]

I haven't posted here in a while because I've been busy on adventures and then I have had a lot going on in my life and I just didn't quite make it back here. I've not been on lit nearly as much as I have been in the past.
So I've talked about being "kind of a little" before and how I am and I'm not and not really knowing where to fit and I could go more into that and how I am always constantly evolving but that it's an amazing journey to discover yourself.
None of what I thought is wrong, and that's really nice, and it's great to understand myself on a level I didn't a few years ago. I'm probably some type of brat honestly. Not a nasty, cause trouble, be mean type of brat, because at heart, I'm really a good girl, but the playful, slightly mischievous, teasing type of brat. I don't want want to be bad, I just like fun and games. I'm likely to stick my tongue out and say "make me" because... well it's fun.
I'm super independent in so much of my life. I am self sufficient, I am in control and I am kinda badass in a lot of ways... but... I like to be cared for. I like feeling like I'm worth taking care of. When he holds me like I'm the most valuable thing in the world, I melt. Taking my hand and moving me to the other side of the path away from the bees I didn't even see, softly tipping my head back down and kissing my forehead and hugging me, because I got a stiff neck from tipping my head back to kiss him, all these things made me fall even deeper in love with him.
The million little ways he is sweet and caring and protective and wanted to open doors and get things down off shelves and make sure I was safe and show me I matter, that it matters to him that I do what I need to and that he will make sure I'm always ok. I don't know if I'm saying what I want to, but this is where I pour my heart out on lit.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I haven't posted here in a while because I've been busy on adventures and then I have had a lot going on in my life and I just didn't quite make it back here. I've not been on lit nearly as much as I have been in the past.
So I've talked about being "kind of a little" before and how I am and I'm not and not really knowing where to fit and I could go more into that and how I am always constantly evolving but that it's an amazing journey to discover yourself.
None of what I thought is wrong, and that's really nice, and it's great to understand myself on a level I didn't a few years ago. I'm probably some type of brat honestly. Not a nasty, cause trouble, be mean type of brat, because at heart, I'm really a good girl, but the playful, slightly mischievous, teasing type of brat. I don't want want to be bad, I just like fun and games. I'm likely to stick my tongue out and say "make me" because... well it's fun.
I'm super independent in so much of my life. I am self sufficient, I am in control and I am kinda badass in a lot of ways... but... I like to be cared for. I like feeling like I'm worth taking care of. When he holds me like I'm the most valuable thing in the world, I melt. Taking my hand and moving me to the other side of the path away from the bees I didn't even see, softly tipping my head back down and kissing my forehead and hugging me, because I got a stiff neck from tipping my head back to kiss him, all these things made me fall even deeper in love with him.
The million little ways he is sweet and caring and protective and wanted to open doors and get things down off shelves and make sure I was safe and show me I matter, that it matters to him that I do what I need to and that he will make sure I'm always ok. I don't know if I'm saying what I want to, but this is where I pour my heart out on lit.

I'm glad you're continuing on your journey to discover yourself, which makes a thought come to mind... are we ever done with that journey? In a way, I hope there's always something new that we learn, even if it's to find out we have changed in some way.

The part that I put in bold really made sense to me. Being a brat isn't something I necessarily claim (hush, DS!), because I have seen brats that get defiant and cause grief in my local group. But, I am that mischievous one... the teasing one, the laughing one.

I had the conversation yesterday where he said that I should have groceries for the weekend when he comes, because I won't be allowed to wear clothes (I hate clothes!) and the delivery person might get an eye full . I mentioned it might be worth NOT getting groceries just to see what he does when the doorbell rang. To me, that's my brat side. My sassy, cheeky side.

 

[AlwaysFara]

People think that because I’m direct, I’m bratty. I’m not. In my relationship, im such a good girl. You would laugh at me. Really. I may be bratty to my mom or my friends, but never to him.
Today I was all wound up and he told me to sit. Right now. It never crosses my mind to be defiant in that moment.
I think playful and bratty are 2 different things.

Once, in the beginning of our relationship, I was being corrected, and after I was done he threw in one more “brat”.
I burst into tears. I couldn’t understand why he said that, after all, I had done what he told me. I was really almost inconsolable.
HE didn’t realize, at that time, how submissive to him I really was. How seriously I took it. We talked about it, and he never did it again. If I’m corrected, I’m a good girl, and it’s over.

Being called a brat by him makes me cry.
I’m really a mush.
Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone.

 

[LostGirlTink]

I'm glad you're continuing on your journey to discover yourself, which makes a thought come to mind... are we ever done with that journey? In a way, I hope there's always something new that we learn, even if it's to find out we have changed in some way.

The part that I put in bold really made sense to me. Being a brat isn't something I necessarily claim (hush, DS!), because I have seen brats that get defiant and cause grief in my local group. But, I am that mischievous one... the teasing one, the laughing one.

I had the conversation yesterday where he said that I should have groceries for the weekend when he comes, because I won't be allowed to wear clothes (I hate clothes!) and the delivery person might get an eye full . I mentioned it might be worth NOT getting groceries just to see what he does when the doorbell rang. To me, that's my brat side. My sassy, cheeky side.

Yeah, me too. I would never be disrespectful or rude, but sass? Yeah. I'm sassy.

People think that because I’m direct, I’m bratty. I’m not. In my relationship, im such a good girl. You would laugh at me. Really. I may be bratty to my mom or my friends, but never to him.
Today I was all wound up and he told me to sit. Right now. It never crosses my mind to be defiant in that moment.
I think playful and bratty are 2 different things.

Once, in the beginning of our relationship, I was being corrected, and after I was done he threw in one more “brat”.
I burst into tears. I couldn’t understand why he said that after I had done what he told me. I was really, almost inconsolable.
HE didn’t realize, at that time, how submissive to him I really was. How seriously I took it. We talked about it, and he never did it again. If I’m corrected, I’m a good girl, and it’s over.

Being called a brat by him makes me cry.
I’m really a mush.
Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone.

I think any insinuation that I was bad would make me cry in the same way.
I'm a mush too. <3 It'll be our secret.

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[LostGirlTink]

I’m so happy for you about all of the above, it’s heart warming and so beautiful to read your words.

I’m so happy. Things are amazing. I feel so grateful that we found one another.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This seems a good place to share this info:
https://hsperson.com/books/the-highly-sensitive-person-in-love/

 

[barefootgirl69]

Daddy makes me laugh!

"Life's too short to be an asshole!"

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

......

 

[barefootgirl69]

Re: The Highly Sensative Person in Love

This seems a good place to share this info:
https://hsperson.com/books/the-highly-sensitive-person-in-love/

I took some time last night, Honey, to read this article (not the book). This part really caught my attention.

"HSPs have nervous systems that pick up more on subtleties in the world and reflect on them deeply. That means, for starters, that they will tend to demand more depth in their relationships in order to be satisfied; see more threatening consequences in their partners’ flaws or behaviors; reflect more and, if the signs indicate it, worry about how things are going."

I used to think I was just TOO sensative. My ex used to gaslight my 'fears' when things would change (out later, work patterns, etc). It's good to know I'm normal and not the only one!

 

[Nzerxx]

/whispery blurt

He feels like a Daddy to me
I felt that before
I feel it now
I wonder what he would say...

( )

Is this a good thing? It sounds it to me

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Is this a good thing? It sounds it to me

It's just an observation.

He is not available to me except as a friend. It is an often difficult place for me to be in.
Wanting more, being incredibly frustrated at the limits, not wanting to leave...

 

[geronimo_appleby]

und hier ist die GA.

unterhalte mich.

 

[barefootgirl69]

und hier ist die GA.

unterhalte mich.

Always so demanding!

Will a dance of the seven veils suffice?