rubydlite
*poof*...mostly
- Joined
 - Aug 15, 2013
 
- Posts
 - 12,738
 
and put a teeny tiny door in your big, giant wall.
This isn't a post for me to to talk about myself...but I will for a second.
A brief History...Once upon a time I fell in love with a man...more than I had with anyone online or in my everyday life. I was ruined for anyone else, consumed ...and when it ended (whatever our definition of it was) I cried and felt gutted for almost a year. A YEAR .....
His words...I never meant to hurt you...my words. You may love a butterfly and want to hold it, but kill it it the process.
I'm not placing any blame. ..just stating how I felt.
I read a post somewhere by someone and I felt the grief through the screen of my phone as I read her words.
This is not a post about ghosting, or lieing, or any of the debates about real vs not real so please don't bring it up.
This is a post about love. How it feels real to you and how you need to let it back in...any version that works for you.
So...back to my point in summary.
I loved a man more than ever.
I lost him.
I put the biggest baddest rule bound wall around me....and I stopped living life.
I stopped loving. I love to show love and I stopped.
I read THE post ...and I cried for her because she'll do the same.
BUT...put a door in your wall and someone will just sneak in when you least expect it.
Someone, I've casually known for a long time, found my door last week (don't be pervs). One comment and he broke through...
Will it be a fling, will it go down in flames or will we grow old together? Who the fuck knows. But I forgot how much I love to love and I will try to never deny myself that again.
So....
Build your walls if you must...but let love in.
				
			This isn't a post for me to to talk about myself...but I will for a second.
A brief History...Once upon a time I fell in love with a man...more than I had with anyone online or in my everyday life. I was ruined for anyone else, consumed ...and when it ended (whatever our definition of it was) I cried and felt gutted for almost a year. A YEAR .....
His words...I never meant to hurt you...my words. You may love a butterfly and want to hold it, but kill it it the process.
I'm not placing any blame. ..just stating how I felt.
I read a post somewhere by someone and I felt the grief through the screen of my phone as I read her words.
This is not a post about ghosting, or lieing, or any of the debates about real vs not real so please don't bring it up.
This is a post about love. How it feels real to you and how you need to let it back in...any version that works for you.
So...back to my point in summary.
I loved a man more than ever.
I lost him.
I put the biggest baddest rule bound wall around me....and I stopped living life.
I stopped loving. I love to show love and I stopped.
I read THE post ...and I cried for her because she'll do the same.
BUT...put a door in your wall and someone will just sneak in when you least expect it.
Someone, I've casually known for a long time, found my door last week (don't be pervs). One comment and he broke through...
Will it be a fling, will it go down in flames or will we grow old together? Who the fuck knows. But I forgot how much I love to love and I will try to never deny myself that again.
So....
Build your walls if you must...but let love in.
			
				Last edited: 
			
		
	
								
								
									
	
								
							
							