Family of bullied girl to sue school district over suicide

[Debbie]

"For months she was told she was a loser, she had no friends, and finally she was told, 'Why don't you kill yourself?'" he said.

Dianne Grossman said she and her husband pleaded with school officials, to no avail.

"That's exactly what we're looking to do in this case," he said. "We want to open a Pandora's box, we want to push against the hornet's nest. We want to end this forever."


http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/family-bullied-girl-sue-school-district-suicide-48970425




Are schools responsible or culpable in your opinion and should be more proactive about dealing with bullying or is it something that parents and society should be hyper aware of and doing anything possible to help the person being bullied?

Should bullies be held responsible for their actions and face not only criminal action but also lawsuits?

 

[lovetoread]

its an emotional big deal here

she lived just down the road

yes the school should be held responsible, as do the parents of the other kids

the whole idea that kids should just "get over it" or "toughen up" sucks

stop blaming the victim and punish those involved

 

[Lancecastor]

A 12 year old cheerleader?

I wonder what the real story is....

 

[Debbie]

ltr so sad to think of someone who had her whole life ahead of her is now gone.

I agree. The bully should be held responsible and some schools seem to either ignore the problem, sweep it under the carpet.

In New Zealand we supposedly have regulations/legislation that schools are meant to follow.

http://www.hrie.net.nz/hrie-in-action/280


· "A school permitting bullying to occur due to the inaction of teachers, with students suffering harm, could be in breach of a duty and face prosecution under the Health and Safety in Employment Act 1992."

 

[Lancecastor]

Bullied on Snapchat... nonsense.

Once the full details come out, will it be the mother or the father that winds up being the sick fucker?

I blame her parents for letting a 12 year old spend so much time online.

They should probably kill themselves too?

American Academy of Pediatrics. The study found that bullying has a “clear relationship” with committing or thinking of committing suicide. Moreover, the study found that excessive Internet use was “strongly associated with higher levels of depression” and thoughts or attempts to commit suicide.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Is the school there to monitor Social Media?


Did the parents contact the providers?


How do you define bullying?

As in The Giver?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

A point Lance...

 

[hsnh]

I have much respect for teachers.
Yes, there are a few bullies and twats among them as well, and a few don't care. But most of them are the real deal.

While I'm sure that the girl was bullied and the school failed to address the issue,
I believe that in many such cases it's more about the system that allows things to slip through the cracks. I'm sure that the teachers tried the best they could, within the legal or admin.limitations.



So: on one hand I'm glad that someone is trying to set a precedent and put a stop to the crap that some teens are subjecting each others to nowadays. (Gosh, back home they weren't and aren't so vicious…)..
But I would hate to see such tragedies degenerate into scapehoating and teacher wichhunt, as opposed to looking at systemic issues.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I don't know. I went to school in the 60s and there was definitely a pecking order on the school ground. Suicide was not a problem. But then again, back then the messaging from your parents, church and the Entertainment industry was that which does not kill you strengthens you (the playing fields of Eton remix) whereas now the constant messaging is that outcomes and results are the same for everyone (The Rainbow Fish/Sesame Street we share and care remix), life is fair, you can run and tell, you are special and we are at war with bullies (South Park's PC Principal remix), so maybe the children don't have the tools to cope with a little adversity.

Thanks to the culture of false equivalency, little snowflakes melt when the heat is on instead of smacking the bully in the mouth and establishing a real equivalency.

 

[Debbie]

I wouldn't want to play blame the teacher more so the school system as in the school board, principal etc.


If it's happening in school time or the school can help the situation for the person being bullied rather than the student who is being bullied feel like they're all on their own with no consequences for the bullies behaviour then in my opinion they're letting the student who has not done anything wrong.

If the schools, parents, community can come together and show a united front and zero tolerance for the bullying behaviour and the bully is held accountable then perhaps things can turn themselves around and make things better. Not just for the person who is being bullied but for the person who is doing the bullying.

Nip it in the bud so to speak.

Ignoring the situation makes me think the message being given to the person being bullied is that they don't matter. That they're helpless and on their own.
Isolated and sad, Scared and not knowing how to deal with what is happening.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Maybe the zero tolerance is the problem as it raises false expectations of safety just as zero tolerance gun policies create a safe killing zone...


Just saying.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Speaking of which, we had a family of Catholics move in next door, seven boys, and I was bullied mercilessly and even if I did smack one down, a big brother or two would come and retaliate. They did it to other kids too. But no matter how and by whom they were approached about their boys' behavior, they always swore that their kids were angles and it was the Protestant kids that were picking on them for being Catholic as being the root of the problem.

That's want ganging up on the bully gets you.

 

[Lancecastor]

Crazy mothers have given bullying a bad name.

 

[hsnh]

Speaking of which, we had a family of Catholics move in next door, seven boys, and I was bullied mercilessly and even if I did smack one down, a big brother or two would come and retaliate. They did it to other kids too. But no matter how and by whom they were approached about their boys' behavior, they always swore that their kids were angles and it was the Protestant kids that were picking on them for being Catholic as being the root of the problem.

That's want ganging up on the bully gets you.

Exactly. Parents can be just as bad.

My sister had a similar experience.
-- When they moved to a new school, they were initially picked on by some idiots.
She tried to subtly bring up the issue with their parents when she met them during some social settings but it backfired.
-- (Interesting enough, the dynamic changed completely after they joined some football team and did well. Now They are among the cool kids.)

Also, kids are learning fast.
Now they avoid picking on those with obvious mental or physical handicaps, or on trannies knowing that it would land them in trouble.
They bully when it's likely to be less noticeable.

 

[hsnh]

I'm not sure if Debbie would agree:

But from what I've seen & from talking with my friends from the US, families in Australia NZ versus the US have slightly different generational attitudes towards child rearing.

More of a "assume responsibility" mentality in Australasia, the way 4est experienced when he was growing up in the US.
Whereas in the US, parents have moved towards being a bit more overprotective.


http://www*****course.com/about/method/generational-archetypes.html


Which changes a bit the dynamics of factors involved.

 

[water505]

Lance is right. Where the hell were her parents while all this was going on, why did she keep reading this shit, and exactly how is the school system responsible?

Sounds like a classic example of expecting government to solve a problem that should have been addressed by the parents.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

The school does bear responsibility for in-person bullying that took place at school. Also, if the cyber-bullying took place at school (via phones or school computers), the school is responsible for acting as well. In my experience, schools do not take a strong enough stance against these behaviors, even dismissing them at times. We don't know (at least from this article) how the school administrators actually acted after the complaints, but I am very curious to know the details.

 

[Lancecastor]

First day of Grade 1 i shot an elastic off my ruler at the teacher, who was back towards us at the blackboard.

Nobody saw me, perfect shot to the back of her neck.

She wheeled around, furious. "Who did that?!"

I looked over in the direction of a friend one row ahead.

She gave him the strap at the front of the class.

I've always felt guilty for that and have never told anyone.

But the kid wound up being gay and had monkey ears, so there's that.

Kids do awful things to each other, no change there.

And a certain number kill themselves, always have.

Its like the kids who dont come back after xmas in freshman year.

 

[Aquagal]

While the parents were waiting on the school to get off their ass and do whatever they thought was appropriate to stop the bullying, they should have been more proactive in shutting the girl's internet accounts down. Yes, not her fault blah blah...but when her mental state is at risk you do whatever it takes to minimize her access to the abuse. If there was bullying on school grounds and they feared for her, take her out of school. Put her in a different school or homeschool.

The bully has no power if the kid is taken out of the equation.

 

[Lancecastor]

While the parents were waiting on the school to get off their ass and do whatever they thought was appropriate to stop the bullying, they should have been more proactive in shutting the girl's internet accounts down. Yes, not her fault blah blah...but when her mental state is at risk you do whatever it takes to minimize her access to the abuse. If there was bullying on school grounds and they feared for her, take her out of school. Put her in a different school or homeschool.

The bully has no power if the kid is taken out of the equation.

Agreed; the phone would have been long gone.

Its the mom... cheerleading and gymnastics, cancer kid charities... that kid was mommys little success robot.

Cheerleader mom. Obvious ground zero in my book.

Shes a "fabric entrepeneur", by the way... sounds like one of those made up jewish wife tax avoidance fake businesses.

To me, its an old story.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

While the parents were waiting on the school to get off their ass and do whatever they thought was appropriate to stop the bullying, they should have been more proactive in shutting the girl's internet accounts down. Yes, not her fault blah blah...but when her mental state is at risk you do whatever it takes to minimize her access to the abuse. If there was bullying on school grounds and they feared for her, take her out of school. Put her in a different school or homeschool.

The bully has no power if the kid is taken out of the equation.

I agree absolutely. The parents knew what was going on, at least to a certain extent. The girl was not going to remove herself from social media; they needed to take that action for her. Removing her from the school without eliminating the online access would leave her just as vulnerable.

There's a mockumentary on Netflix called "A Girl Like Her." I'm pretty sure that's the title. It's powerful and I think teens should all watch it.

 

[hsnh]

I agree with all the above, but I don't think it would have made a huge difference.

Even if her parents did that and she had no contact with social media, her classmates still would have had.
And every kid has a cellphone nowadays, I can imagine how easy it would be for assholes to taunt her over what other assholes wrote about her.

Plus I believe that teenage girls can be more complex and devious when they bully other teenage girls.
Boys aren't generally too sophisticated: they throw punches and hurl insults, girls try to spread rumours or to engage in slander.

 

[Ishmael]

I can't help but wonder exactly what the parents expected the Schools to do about a commercial service over which the schools could/can exert NO CONTROL?

Ishmael

 

[Aglaopheme]

Thou shalt not be such judgy dicks.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wa...-killed-herself-her-parents-blame-the-school/

Each month since they became aware of the “relentless” taunts, the Grossmans say they complained to administrators, who promised to look into the allegations. Even hours before Mallory took her life, her parents met with school officials, begging them to do something. They requested that administrators file a mandatory Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying (HIB) Report, but the school never did, Grossman said.

When Mallory’s grades took a hit, school officials focused meetings on her academics.“They were not at that time concerned with her emotional well being,” Grossman said, even though her daughter’s usual A and B grades had plummeted to Cs and Ds.

“There was a pattern, a regular history, pattern of the school dismissing my concerns,” Grossman said. Some of the cyberbullying against Mallory — at least two of the girls’ Snapchats — took place on school property, Grossman said. In Mallory’s final days, her parents were trying to move her to a private school, but “unfortunately she didn’t give us a chance to do so,” Grossman said.

She also criticized the fact that the school touted its self-assessed A grade in recent anti-bullying reports, giving itself a score of 74 out of 78 in the most recent self-assessment posted on the district’s website.

The new laws demanded more staff training and quicker reporting of bullying. They require that schools monitor, investigate and document episodes of child bullying. Superintendents who don’t to comply could lose their licenses, and students found responsible for bullying can be suspended or expelled.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

I can't help but wonder exactly what the parents expected the Schools to do about a commercial service over which the schools could/can exert NO CONTROL?

Ishmael

If it's happening on their watch or with their technology that have a responsibility to act.