The Emerson Sexual Advice Thread

[Bookishleigh]

It has come to light recently that Emerson is doling out sexual advice to women in PM. This irks me because couldn't we ALL benefit from the sexual advice? This is a pron board and most of us came here expecting to talk about sex. Why must it be kept behind closed doors (or PMs in this case)? I mean how much more can we talk about Drumpf v. HRC, KS1 v. Hash, and random burts? So with the consent (or without - consent is such a fluid topic) of Emerson, I have created the official Emerson Sexual Advice thread. Please feel free to submit your questions here and Emerson will be happy to answer them. If you feel you need a personal Skype session, he can accomodate that as well. Appearances by Mrs. Em are available upon request.

To break the ice, I will go first:

Dear Emerson,

Sometimes I wake up before my boyfriend does and I will get so turned on just by watching him sleep. I feel this urge to take his cock in my mouth and wake him up. Consent is such an iffy topic, however. How do I know if he consents to this? Sometimes he doesn't even know I'm there and then he starts screaming about a restraining order. I think he would just be calmer if he woke up with a morning blow job. Please help!

Sincerely,

50-mile radius Litster

 

[Adjudicator]

Dear Fermina,

Help yourself.

A

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

wow, an empty thread so far. is this on purpose bro?

Stew

 

[Adjudicator]

wow, an empty thread so far. is this on purpose bro?

Stew

What the fuck, stew? Empty?

 

[Bookishleigh]

wow, an empty thread so far. is this on purpose bro?

Stew

No one wants to talk about sex. Apparently you have to out someone for any love.

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

What the fuck, stew? Empty?

empty of Emerson's sex advice bro.

Stew

 

[FordPinto]

http://up3.xhcdn.com/000/116/983/756_1000.gif

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

No one wants to talk about sex. Apparently you have to out someone for any love.

I can agree with that sentiment. you would think sex advice would be a thread we could all enjoy bro.

Stew

 

[Adjudicator]

empty of Emerson's sex advice bro.

Stew

Oh. I apologize.

I do like talking about sex. Emerson get your ass in here! People need your safe advice.

Edit: I typed 'sage' but autocorrect had a different idea bro

 

[hashtag45]

Sometimes I wake up before my boyfriend does and I will get so turned on just by watching him sleep. I feel this urge to take his cock in my mouth and wake him up.

I can believe that. The tinnier they are, the more comfortable it gets to fit them in one's mouth.

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

I can believe that. The tinnier they are, the more comfortable it gets to fit them in one's mouth.

I figured you for a lead lover bro.

Stew

 

[Bookishleigh]

I can believe that. The tinnier they are, the more comfortable it gets to fit them in one's mouth.

Awww, was this a dig at Luk? I'm not his girlfriend....I just play it on Lit. BUT in the wise words of Donald Drumpf, I've heard he's HUUUGE!

http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/4e553f4b6bb3f7c56b000024/donald-trump.jpg

 

[hashtag45]

Awww, was this a dig at Luk? I'm not his girlfriend....I just play it on Lit. BUT in the wise words of Donald Drumpf, I've heard he's HUUUGE!

http://static1.e553f4b6bb3f7c56b000024/donald-trump.jpg

I kind of suspected that from the start Lol.
Pitty you got in the firing line of idiots bigger than myself for that tho.

 

[Adjudicator]

I kind of suspected that from the start Lol.
Pitty you got in the firing line of idiots bigger than myself for that tho.

You should see what I'm trying to fire at her!

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Emerson,

Sometimes I wake up before my boyfriend does and I will get so turned on just by watching him sleep. I feel this urge to take his cock in my mouth and wake him up. Consent is such an iffy topic, however. How do I know if he consents to this? Sometimes he doesn't even know I'm there and then he starts screaming about a restraining order. I think he would just be calmer if he woke up with a morning blow job. Please help!

Sincerely,

50-mile radius Litster

Dear 314-mile Circumference Litster,

As intangible as consent may be for some to grasp, it is never, ever automatically implied.

Say your boyfriend was some sort of quasi-celeb or successful property developer. He would be wrong to presume consent and grab you by the pussy on the occasional mornings when he wakes before you. This would likely bring about fresh screams and more calls for restraining orders.

By having the consent discussion beforehand, you also eliminate the whole turnabout is fair play argument that would likely arise, should you ever be roused from sleep by your beau with a mitt full of your minge.

Have the consent discussion. It needn’t be the morning of, or even the night before, but it should happen before any unsolicited pre-consciousness knoshing of the knob takes place.

Perhaps have the consent discussion in a neutral, public spot, when he is awake and fully clothed, and you are not distracted or overcome with the dampie-panties, brought on by the involuntary testicular movements that happen during his REM stage sleep.

I don’t know about waking calmer, but I think most cockerels would crow considerably less if their mornings started with a consensual cock-cuddle like you’ve conceptualized.


Em

 

[Bookishleigh]

You should see what I'm trying to fire at her!

Still waiting for you to grab me by the pussy.

 

[Adjudicator]

Dear Emerson,

^^^That's consent, right?

A

 

[Disgustipated]

I get all my sexual advice from KRC & KK.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I can believe that. The tinnier they are, the more comfortable it gets to fit them in one's mouth.

Tin condoms bro?

 

[hashtag45]

Tin condoms bro?

Never heard of that one before.

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

Tin condoms bro?

she prefers lead bro.

Stew

 

[Adjudicator]

WRONG










(Disclaimer: I really have no idea about the size of any GB member's members.)

That's not what I heard.












Disclaimer: I kid.

 

[Darbhinder]

Never heard of that one before.

You brought it up, idiot. Even rent a gook prairie nigger pussy grabber is laughing at your stupid paki ass.lol

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Emerson,

^^^That's consent, right?

A

Dear Arbiter of Clutch,

In most states, folks would be wondering why you haven't gone to get your hands on the gettable already.


Em

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

Dear Emerson,

I plan to have a lady over to visit this weekend. What sort of wine goes good with beanie weenies and potato chips? Also, is it ok to share a sleeping bag on a first date bro?

Stew