Saint Peter
shoots left
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2002
- Posts
- 94,048
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Beautiful day outside, pity I had to spend it mowing the yard.
I gave my lawnmower away.
My lawn mower needs to be serviced. I will pay in blowies.
I am handy with small engines.
An incontinent cat is an outside cat. *nods*
I seriously hope this ref isn't officiating at the Euros.
what game are you watching ?
I tried to put a harness on Pippin today. Bad move.
First of it was like the opening minutes of Saving Private Ryan. So then I thought I'd trust him and let him off on his own, but no, he was like a mad cunt in and out of the bushes and trees like that kid in Home Alone whilst I stood dabbing my gaping wounds with Dettol. Ruby was giving him the death stare and hissing like the gravedigger in Salem's Lot so I thought I'd try and get him in at this point.
This consisted of me running round the lawn in circles (I don't run. Ever.) with a pink glitter wand with a fucking mouse on the end making the stupid cat talk he normally responds to IN THE FUCKING HOUSE. Apparently outside this language is now obsolete. Worried he'd be off and over the fence never to be seen again I ran gazelle like (stumbled muttering "ginger fucking cunt") back into the house to seize a breast (chicken) from the fridge to lure him in with. In the past I've found this is a sure fire method to attract both cats and men (chicken in both cases) and by crikey it worked. Clutching the breast in one hand and a wriggling, shrieking bastard under the other I stalked back in the house and wondered why the fuck didn't I ever consider having a hamster.
(I don't run. Ever.)
England v Holland. Ref was awful. He should have given the Netherlands a penalty in the first couple of minutes and England a free kick in the lead up to Holland's second goal.
please, please, please god let there be video of this encounter
Well, now you've just spoiled my fantasies of you traipsing around in the buff like this
http://49.media.tumblr.com/18c05d9c1f49aab35f72c92671a8a2ad/tumblr_o1v0u741dj1u22t2co1_400.gif
harumph!
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How much does she rent for?
$45/mow.
That's $5 less than a blow job.
alrighty, the black whoppers made you poop green, so what do these make one poop?
http://www.bk.com/menu-item/angriest-whopper-sandwich
http://www.bk.com/sites/default/files/01-BK_WEB_ANGRIESTWHOPPER-500x540.png
And yes, I will be eating it.