Yerd! Yo yo. I'm in field for a brief moment.

[smoothg103rd]

I'm fucked up. My mind been other places. Aye Query, I got rob, they took my phone and shit,so I had to get another one. That's one of the reasons why I didn't make a chess move. The other reason is because my mind wasn't there. I been walking around thinking I'm untouchable, like I'm superman or somebody. I been doing a lot of bullshit lately, I lost a uncle and a close friend. So I been feeling like why me. Real talk, I haven't been sober since I left here, my mind really been fucked. I'm with the dumb shiit.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

You're known by the company you keep and you were a soft target.


~kudos~

 

[smoothg103rd]

You're known by the company you keep and you were a soft target.


~kudos~

Fuck is this riddle day? Fuck do this means?

 

[Fala]

I'm fucked up. My mind been other places. Aye Query, I got rob, they took my phone and shit,so I had to get another one. That's one of the reasons why I didn't make a chess move. The other reason is because my mind wasn't there. I been walking around thinking I'm untouchable, like I'm superman or somebody. I been doing a lot of bullshit lately, I lost a uncle and a close friend. So I been feeling like why me. Real talk, I haven't been sober since I left here, my mind really been fucked. I'm with the dumb shiit.

smooth, take it easy. Take deep breaths and lay down in your bed. Think of places and things that bring you joy and put a smile on your face as you fall asleep.

Let go of negatives...they just load you down. Shake all the shit off your back and look forward. Always look forward.

You can do it. Kick the drugs/alcohol to the curb. They are not your friends.

If you do all these things....you will wake up one morning very soon and smile at the sun and the good life waiting for you to just reach out and take it.

I promise you.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Fuck is this riddle day? Fuck do this means?

Gansta gonna rip off gansta!

Who you gonna run to?

The po-po?

 

[smoothg103rd]

smooth, take it easy. Take deep breaths and lay down in your bed. Think of places and things that bring you joy and put a smile on your face as you fall asleep.

Let go of negatives...they just load you down. Shake all the shit off your back and look forward. Always look forward.

You can do it. Kick the drugs/alcohol to the curb. They are not your friends.

If you do all these things....you will wake up one morning very soon and smile at the sun and the good life waiting for you to just reach out and take it.

I promise you.

It sounds good but, it isn't that easy. It's harder than calculus. My emotions is really starting to get the best of me. It's hard to be strong when you're keep losing.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Gansta gonna rip off gansta!

Who you gonna run to?

The po-po?

I wouldn't even tell a cop what time it is. Two things I would never be, a bitch or a snitch.

 

[Fala]

It sounds good but, it isn't that easy. It's harder than calculus. My emotions is really starting to get the best of me. It's hard to be strong when you're keep losing.

It has nothing to do with being strong, smooth. It's all about letting go. Letting go requires no energy...no work...nothing. Just Let Go.

Sleep. That's all. Sleep for as long as you can.

When you wake up...you will be better able to move forward.

 

[smoothg103rd]

It has nothing to do with being strong, smooth. It's all about letting go. Letting go requires no energy...no work...nothing. Just Let Go.

Sleep. That's all. Sleep for as long as you can.

When you wake up...you will be better able to move forward.

Let go of what? My past? I try to. But every time I loosen my grip, it always comes back to bite me in my ass. This time I try to do right, and people around me just dying. I try to do good, and I end up needing money in the worst way. My uncle died two weeks ago, and just got buried two days ago. No life insurance, no money no nothing. People acting like they couldn't help out for anything, I had to do what I know best to make a couple of dollars just to bury him. My friend just died, I'm out here trying to make a couple of dollars just to help his mother out. It's everytime I try to do right, something just bring me back to reality. Showing me that I'm not nothing more than what I am.

What am I letting go of? I been to more funerals than graduations and weddings combined. I seen more death than life. What am I letting go of?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I wouldn't even tell a cop what time it is. Two things I would never be, a bitch or a snitch.

No you know the secret of the thief's success; it was probably somebody you know who you regard as a homey...

 

[Fala]

Gotta get to bed smooth. Need sleeeeeep. Email me whenever you want or need to.

Good to see ya on here again...between the both of us taking breaks on Lit, it's been a while.

Missed you, God's child.

See ya!

 

[smoothg103rd]

No you know the secret of the thief's success; it was probably somebody you know who you regard as a homey...

First off its "homie". And I don't associate with someone who would rob me. It wasn't like I was the only one that got rob. The stick up kids just came up that day. I didn't get hit for that much tho. But it's the principle.


The problem with you outsiders, it that you think we'll are savages. But hood loyalty is the realest loyalty you would ever find. We would go to the grave for each other.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Gotta get to bed smooth. Need sleeeeeep. Email me whenever you want or need to.

Good to see ya on here again...between the both of us taking breaks on Lit, it's been a while.

Missed you, God's child.

See ya!

You got it gorgeous, will do.


Don't know about being god child tho.

 

[Fala]

Let go of stress. Stop thinking that you can save the world. Stop thinking that you can control everything that goes on in your life and the lives of other's.

That's what I mean. You are only responsible for yourself. Especially now.

I'm sorry for the losses you have suffered lately. But neither of these loved ones would want you to be buried with them. They love you.

G'nite smooth.

 

[smoothg103rd]

That's just the type of person I am. I'll rather my love ones be good while I suffer, then it being the other way around. I'll take on the burden, I'll take the pain, as long as the ones I care for are ok. They problems are my problems, I'm too loyal to turn my back on someone I care for.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Btw, goodnight,gorgeous.

 

[Que]

One more post and your post count is a binary palindrome. 12121 has only 2 numerals and it reads the same backwards and forwards. In 102 posts mine will be also at 20202.

I fear you're finding out the hard way that staying clean and sober isn't simply a matter of willpower like you thought. It is about typing it out. You're probably going to need some help with that. It wouldn't kill you to go to a narc anon meeting. This place from what I can tell seems like it's been good for you so I think maybe you ought to not take a break. It isn't exactly accountability for you when you post here however it does serve a purpose. It reminds you that there's a whole world out there that's a little different than what you run into everyday.

One of the challenges that you're going to face dealing with quitting is that you are a fairly polarized thinker. You see things as good and evil, loyalty and betrayal, black and white not a lot of shades of grey. What happens in that case it is you tend to end up being hard on yourself because you can't C minor steps in progress you see success or failure and nothing in between. When you see little slip ups as a failure it's too easy to just say fuck it I'm going to go get high.

Regardless know be well be safe. If you have to change your chest ID again send me the new name. Mine still messed up and has me with that weird Jumble of letters that I can't ever remember.

 

[smoothg103rd]

One more post and your post count is a binary palindrome. 12121 has only 2 numerals and it reads the same backwards and forwards. In 102 posts mine will be also at 20202.

I fear you're finding out the hard way that staying clean and sober isn't simply a matter of willpower like you thought. It is about typing it out. You're probably going to need some help with that. It wouldn't kill you to go to a narc anon meeting. This place from what I can tell seems like it's been good for you so I think maybe you ought to not take a break. It isn't exactly accountability for you when you post here however it does serve a purpose. It reminds you that there's a whole world out there that's a little different than what you run into everyday.

One of the challenges that you're going to face dealing with quitting is that you are a fairly polarized thinker. You see things as good and evil, loyalty and betrayal, black and white not a lot of shades of grey. What happens in that case it is you tend to end up being hard on yourself because you can't C minor steps in progress you see success or failure and nothing in between. When you see little slip ups as a failure it's too easy to just say fuck it I'm going to go get high.

Regardless know be well be safe. If you have to change your chest ID again send me the new name. Mine still messed up and has me with that weird Jumble of letters that I can't ever remember.

I could quit anytime. It's just that I don't have a reason too. When I'm sober, I think too much . When I'm high or drunk, I just don't give a fuck. I'm not a junkie though, I abuse the drugs, I don't let it abuse me. These past couple of days, I just had so much on my mind, I just feel content being fucked up. I felt like my world will never change. Like all I would know is poverty and death. Like it's no hope for the young boy ( me). I really been in a fucked up state of mind. This place is no help to me anymore, I feel like I'm too far gone.

 

[Lancecastor]

Boo hoo. Poor alt.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Boo hoo. Poor alt.

You mother asked can I bring in a "alt" dick,because this one was breaking her back.

 

[Lancecastor]

You mother asked can I bring in a "alt" dick,because this one was breaking her back.

Fuck off and get on with your fake suicide, phony.

 

[Aglaopheme]

I could quit anytime. It's just that I don't have a reason too. When I'm sober, I think too much . When I'm high or drunk, I just don't give a fuck. I'm not a junkie though, I abuse the drugs, I don't let it abuse me. These past couple of days, I just had so much on my mind, I just feel content being fucked up. I felt like my world will never change. Like all I would know is poverty and death. Like it's no hope for the young boy ( me). I really been in a fucked up state of mind. This place is no help to me anymore, I feel like I'm too far gone.

Your world never will change if you continue to deal with it by being "fucked up".

 

[hashtag45]

So nice to see you here, Smooth, even though in the saddest of circumstances. Missed your humour & spirit.
Hope things will pick up for you, in time. How's your family doing, otherwise?

(PS: only for a bit later on, once you've gotten over your grief & feel more up to it:
Que's second paragraph makes sense to me.
But also, those who attend those meetings are not all "junkies"; many of them are respectable members of society -manly men- who are worried about their abuse. And I also heard that the groups give good results).

 

[Noor]

I could quit anytime. It's just that I don't have a reason too. When I'm sober, I think too much . When I'm high or drunk, I just don't give a fuck. I'm not a junkie though, I abuse the drugs, I don't let it abuse me. These past couple of days, I just had so much on my mind, I just feel content being fucked up. I felt like my world will never change. Like all I would know is poverty and death. Like it's no hope for the young boy ( me). I really been in a fucked up state of mind. This place is no help to me anymore, I feel like I'm too far gone.

I don't believe that it is so easy as you can quit anytime, if it was you'd have done it.
As long as you turn to drugs or alcohol whenever you are stressed, you are addicted.
When you can be severely stressed and stay sober, then you will be free.

Reasons- You have at least 3 of them, YOUR KIDS. There are also the other people you care about and yourself. The only time you are too far gone is when you are dead or your brain is hot, like people who huff gasoline get.

You don't want your momma and kids to bury you the way your uncle was with no money, life insurance, no nothing. Take some time to grieve, get a lots of sleep and start pulling your life back together again. You can do it!

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm fucked up. My mind been other places. Aye Query, I got rob, they took my phone and shit,so I had to get another one. That's one of the reasons why I didn't make a chess move. The other reason is because my mind wasn't there. I been walking around thinking I'm untouchable, like I'm superman or somebody. I been doing a lot of bullshit lately, I lost a uncle and a close friend. So I been feeling like why me. Real talk, I haven't been sober since I left here, my mind really been fucked. I'm with the dumb shiit.

Are you on PCP? I hope you get it together. Never give up the hope.