The beauty of submissive men

[biseattlegirl]

How did that conversation go? I get frustrated by that attitude. I'm not Domme just to stroke your cock and please you.

 

[Veroe]

How did that conversation go? I get frustrated by that attitude. I'm not Domme just to stroke your cock and please you.

The next time try this. Stroke their cock right up to the edge and then stop unless they promise to do something for you. Make it something small like the dishes or to soap you up in the shower afterwards. That way you take ownership of it and his orgasm becomes a reward for the right attitude.

 

[LucianDevine]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/ad8e665959d28438e7d348093b8516ac/tumblr_mz48ptuTtD1qcr2gxo1_500.jpg

What I'm saying is a domme is a domme no matter what she's wearing. It will be clear in any outfit if she gives you that look, holds herself that way, speaks in the way dominant women do.

Still all the leather and corsets and boots can be really empowering to her and the psychological effect the visual makes on her sub can not be overlooked either.

I actually find the leather to be a bit of a turn off, namely because of how cliche it is. It's also makes the scene feel a bit too rehearsed or staged. I like knowing that pretty much anything can happen anywhere, all on the whims of my Mistress.

 

[LucianDevine]

I love submissive men. I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

Sadly enough, this is likely more common than you'd think. Even in their desire to be submissive a lot of men tend to be selfish or idealistic. This kind of ties into them wanting their domme to wear something like leather, pvc, etc. The sub does naturally have a say in what they find attractive in a domme or a scene, but at the same time, the domme should, under no circumstances, be or feel obligated to do it anytime that they don't want or feel like it.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

How did that conversation go? I get frustrated by that attitude. I'm not Domme just to stroke your cock and please you.

to be clear, all of my experience is online.

I think part of *my* problem is that i'm not a Domme, i'm a top, and very much a pleaser. I think I tend to let people walk over me in general, and have done that in my topping as well. but i'm growing more confident in setting boundaries according to my needs and being firm about them. and because of that, i'm enjoying things more.

basically saying, 'hey, this is what you can expect from me, and this is what i'm willing to give. if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to look elsewhere.'

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

when i am chatting with a potential sub, before we agree we want to play... he is told that his cock, balls and ass are mine.. I decide if he gets to cum, not him. If he has an issue with that, then we are not compatible. Any sub I have played with, is given the task to edge. He does not get to cum. One was edging for a week, or two, before I allowed him to cum.

 

[kindlykinky]

when i am chatting with a potential sub, before we agree we want to play... he is told that his cock, balls and ass are mine.. I decide if he gets to cum, not him. If he has an issue with that, then we are not compatible. Any sub I have played with, is given the task to edge. He does not get to cum. One was edging for a week, or two, before I allowed him to cum.

Exquisite!

 

[biseattlegirl]

to be clear, all of my experience is online.

I think part of *my* problem is that i'm not a Domme, i'm a top, and very much a pleaser. I think I tend to let people walk over me in general, and have done that in my topping as well. but i'm growing more confident in setting boundaries according to my needs and being firm about them. and because of that, i'm enjoying things more.

basically saying, 'hey, this is what you can expect from me, and this is what i'm willing to give. if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to look elsewhere.'

I dont think that is a problem at all.

I think for me the issue I run into is that I am tired of selfish people. In my experience as a sub I did what my Domme wanted from me without ever thinking I would be rewarded; nor would I ever dream of telling her to please me as part of her domination over me. I serve her because that makes me happy and that is enough for me. We have hard limits to what I am expected to do and what she would ask. I love when she does get me off and pleasure me as a reward but I never would have dreamed of telling her it is what I want as a sub. I want to make her happy. With her I feel a deep need to submit to her. I can't even explain it because I don't feel that way with men at all. However I know that is how my b/f feels about me. He is with me as I am with her. We have a wonderful vanilla sex life as well, but when we are in those roles his sexual gratification is rarely the focus of our scene.

As suggested above...I have brought him to the edge of orgasm and love cum denial and edging. I find it is a great technique to encourage him to do something for me and to be honest we both love it....but he never once asked me to do it or expected that would be how he would serve me.

 

[Touch_72]

http://i1235.photobucket.com/albums/ff430/sultrykitten75/Mobile%20Uploads/images-8.jpeg

I knew a woman once who really loved the idea of biting my ass. I mean biting, not nipping. Chatting online and by text, we had evolved into a fun D/s dynamic even though she was not experienced with it (and when we did meet, she was not very dominant in person... ah, the online persona thing). She confessed to a huge fetish when it comes to guys' butts and told me to expect right off the bat that I would probably be subjected to a lot of attention there because it was what she enjoyed... including biting, which she said she loved to do.

That's probably a pretty uncommon thing, though. I mean, how many women really, really think about driving their teeth into the soft of a man's ass?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I knew a woman once who really loved the idea of biting my ass. I mean biting, not nipping. Chatting online and by text, we had evolved into a fun D/s dynamic even though she was not experienced with it (and when we did meet, she was not very dominant in person... ah, the online persona thing). She confessed to a huge fetish when it comes to guys' butts and told me to expect right off the bat that I would probably be subjected to a lot of attention there because it was what she enjoyed... including biting, which she said she loved to do.

That's probably a pretty uncommon thing, though. I mean, how many women really, really think about driving their teeth into the soft of a man's ass?

I have a man friend(not playmate) who likes it a lot, so... I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about it.

edit: I wouldn't want to simply bend over and bite a guy's behind. i'd want to lick, and suck, and chew on him, too. *ahem* when I was through with him, he'd have the biggest ass-hickey e-ver.

I'd love to come at him from a sideways angle, so that my nose ends up in his ass-crack.

I actually just sent my friend that pic a bit earlier tonight, and he was very appreciative.

 

[tanyachrs]

Have you read The Domme Chronicles? I think maybe I've seen her post here, so I'm probably talking about her to her face. But anyway, there's some biting in there. I don't think I'd ever thought of directly imposed pain (hitting, biting) as opposed to pain imposed through an implement (whips, paddles) as being hot before I read her stuff, but it's hot. I wish I could get my hands on her work as an editor though . . .

 

[Veroe]

I'm really enjoying talking with all of you on these subjects. I don't feel looked down on or left out because I have no experience at this with all of you here. I'd like to thank all of you for being so accepting of me.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

Exquisite!

I"m glad you like.

 

[Erochic]

I knew a woman once who really loved the idea of biting my ass. I mean biting, not nipping. Chatting online and by text, we had evolved into a fun D/s dynamic even though she was not experienced with it (and when we did meet, she was not very dominant in person... ah, the online persona thing). She confessed to a huge fetish when it comes to guys' butts and told me to expect right off the bat that I would probably be subjected to a lot of attention there because it was what she enjoyed... including biting, which she said she loved to do.

That's probably a pretty uncommon thing, though. I mean, how many women really, really think about driving their teeth into the soft of a man's ass?

Umm... I like biting .... and being bitten.
That - along with physically holding someone strongly down are the only kinds of physical pain I'm interested in.

I don't have nearly such a full on fetish as her and definitely don't want to bite hard enough to break the skin , and it's not really the arse I want to bite - although I really liked the look of that photo.

But for me I think it also comes from the fact that I personally find the sensation of being bitten, especially when I'm orgasming, extremely pleasurable.

 

[Touch_72]

I love submissive men.

Not only does she have great taste in photos...

I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

It's not because they're submissive... it's because it's a fantasy. It's because they don't really get it amid all the porn depictions and all that. Which is fine... everyone's entitled to their fantasies and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with theirs, but they should recognize that their fantasy is "playing AT submission," not really being submissive.

or not letting them cum. haha

*lol* That can be part of the fantasy for some.

I was curious to find a couple to explore D/s with at one point and sought one out (from the perspective of that Dom side of me). Something I found was that so many of the guys I talked to really just wanted to script something out ahead of time and I had to tell them, "No, I'm not looking to act out a script... this isn't about playing out a role as an actor reciting lines..." They wanted to play out a fantasy and wanted to help me come up with how everything would go ahead of time and I just wasn't interested.

I think it's pretty common.

With each of the women who took on a Domme role with me in the day to day (online, text, even though two of them were local), I enjoyed the idea of surrendering whether I would or wouldn't cum up to them.

To me, it's more fun for that to be at their whim for their own amusement anyway... and they enjoyed using it for their own fun in different ways, whether it was to deny me while teasing me in different ways or to go the complete opposite route and have me masturbate regularly throughout the day to the point of aching with emptiness... "Oh! You're out at the store? Well, that store does have a bathroom stall, I'm sure..." There weren't many things I could DO for them not being in person, so my service was more to be their amusement in that way and I enjoyed that it amused and turned them on to pull my puppet strings... their fun was what made it fun, whether I came or not.

 

[Touch_72]

I have a man friend(not playmate) who likes it a lot, so... I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about it.

edit: I wouldn't want to simply bend over and bite a guy's behind. i'd want to lick, and suck, and chew on him, too. *ahem* when I was through with him, he'd have the biggest ass-hickey e-ver.

I'd love to come at him from a sideways angle, so that my nose ends up in his ass-crack.

I actually just sent my friend that pic a bit earlier tonight, and he was very appreciative.

*lol* Yes, that was like her. She just really loved the thought of all that stuff... toying, fingering, licking, sucking, chewing and, yup, leaving ass hickeys with her teeth.

In person, I didn't experience all that with her, though she did break out the fingers. She was actually submissive in person, which completely threw me because I can't always just flip my mind from one side to another. It was, however, the first time I'd ever face sat a woman... odd being on the other end of something I love so much, but she let on she enjoys that.

I'm really enjoying talking with all of you on these subjects. I don't feel looked down on or left out because I have no experience at this with all of you here. I'd like to thank all of you for being so accepting of me.

Veroe... I'm not super experienced either. This has all been something that's evolved more recently in my life and though I *think* I understand more about the depths of it than most newbies, I'm not an expert either.

Umm... I like biting .... and being bitten.
That - along with physically holding someone strongly down are the only kinds of physical pain I'm interested in.

I don't have nearly such a full on fetish as her and definitely don't want to bite hard enough to break the skin , and it's not really the arse I want to bite - although I really liked the look of that photo.

But for me I think it also comes from the fact that I personally find the sensation of being bitten, especially when I'm orgasming, extremely pleasurable.

Oh yes! I like digging my teeth into the side of a woman's neck down near the collarbone (where it's hidden with a shirt on) right at that moment, latching down as she peaks. If she likes that sort of thing, of course... not without knowing. It floors me inside seeing how intense that can get for her.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Maybe it's being a switch, but my tastes include some, but not all submissive-oriented acts. Pegging, rimming, cowgirl-style, all well and good. Orgasm denial and control, not so much. Which is funny because I will edge myself at times, but giving that option to another person doesn't turn me on, even though I enjoy the idea of controlling the orgasms of someone else. I do enjoy women in thigh-high boots and one of my fantasies involves being handcuffed while a woman rides me and another woman sits on my face. Some of my fantasies involve being made to have sex with another man, but that's another matter.

I won't discuss my dominant side and fantasies as much, because this is a thread about the submissive male, so it's kind of contrary to the spirit of the thread.

 

[biseattlegirl]

Maybe it's being a switch, but my tastes include some, but not all submissive-oriented acts. Pegging, rimming, cowgirl-style, all well and good. Orgasm denial and control, not so much. Which is funny because I will edge myself at times, but giving that option to another person doesn't turn me on, even though I enjoy the idea of controlling the orgasms of someone else. I do enjoy women in thigh-high boots and one of my fantasies involves being handcuffed while a woman rides me and another woman sits on my face. Some of my fantasies involve being made to have sex with another man, but that's another matter.

I won't discuss my dominant side and fantasies as much, because this is a thread about the submissive male, so it's kind of contrary to the spirit of the thread.

So...like this but with handcuffs added...

THREESOME

 

[Erochic]

So...like this but with handcuffs added...

THREESOME

I had 2 threesomes fairly recently, and that's how they both ended up

It works for me too

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

So...like this but with handcuffs added...

THREESOME

More or less. LOL.

 

[ed4242001]

I love submissive men. I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

many times, of course, it is that it's a game for him and he wants his storyline to be followed. But othertimes, in my experience, it is all about communications. just the other day i was having a very pleasant and relaxing massage. at first, when she touched my penis, i just continued to relax and savor the touches. but when she returned to it sometime later, i lost my focus, and all i could think about was getting off ... and i began to respond accordingly. In all, it was not a satisfying experience.

Thinking about it afterwards,I thought that if she had simply stopped, and said something like, "relax ... and receive" ... or said firmly, "no" or even taken my balls and squeezed them until i was near tears and said, "don't do that again," i could have had a delightful experience in simply being hers and not being so determined to cum at any price.

It does take a lot for even a very submissive guy to simply receive what is being offered in the moment, and not let the dick start thinking for him. It does take training and firm but focused guidance to enable him to make and maintain that mental shift. Once he is truly vulnerable and fully open to her lead, submission changes from a game to a much deeper experience. And yes, even a life time submissive can lose focus and needs correction.

 

[MistressKate11]

Caution on doms wanting to explore their submissive side

Most like the idea better than the reality. This thread is so interesting to read. Just thought I'd share a little of my experience here on lit and men claiming to be submissive or wanting to explore that side of themselves. I attracted several men who were predominantly doms wanting to explore being submissive (I will not chat with these type of men again). I thought why not, you'd think they'd have some idea how to serve and please as that is what they seek in a sub themselves. While I have had one connection through this that is fucking amazing, the rest I soon realized just wanted to flip the script or wanted just a part time thing without ever really expressing that. Certainly not what I was seeking.
I wanted to share this to save some women who may just be exploring this side of themselves the trouble of sifting through such pm's. They may want to explore but domming still comes first so I often found myself not chosen to play with very often because they wanted to be dom. Don't waste your time. True I did find that one connection and he is truly incredible my advice is to stick with the beautiful submissive ones. Most do aim to please. My other little tidbit is be selective, not everybody is a good fit.
Enjoy your playtime however you spend it

 

[sub2DomFemale]

Most like the idea better than the reality. This thread is so interesting to read. Just thought I'd share a little of my experience here on lit and men claiming to be submissive or wanting to explore that side of themselves. I attracted several men who were predominantly doms wanting to explore being submissive (I will not chat with these type of men again). I thought why not, you'd think they'd have some idea how to serve and please as that is what they seek in a sub themselves. While I have had one connection through this that is fucking amazing, the rest I soon realized just wanted to flip the script or wanted just a part time thing without ever really expressing that. Certainly not what I was seeking.
I wanted to share this to save some women who may just be exploring this side of themselves the trouble of sifting through such pm's. They may want to explore but domming still comes first so I often found myself not chosen to play with very often because they wanted to be dom. Don't waste your time. True I did find that one connection and he is truly incredible my advice is to stick with the beautiful submissive ones. Most do aim to please. My other little tidbit is be selective, not everybody is a good fit.
Enjoy your playtime however you spend it

MistressKate11, I do agree with you there are some males here on lit that are Doms exploring their sub side. But also there true submissive males seeking a Mistress to truly serve. I myself respect and seek the Dominant female. Am in way the perfect sub either. We just need to weed out the true subs from those who explore their sub side. I agree if you do find that one sub. Keep him close he will be the treasure you deserve. Just my two cents.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Personally, I'm a switch. I don't pretend to be anything but. I have a Dom side, but I also have a sub side. I hardly see how that is a problem in general, though if someone is looking for a 24/7 sub, they need to look at someone else. Can I be selfish at times? Sure. A lot of people are. Everyone is at times. But I can also be fun. I can't speak for others. It all depends on what you're looking for and into....I'm not knocking others. I just tend to speak up for myself and those like me.

 

[tanyachrs]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/72cd305a805e5e5bd491cf319e334679/tumblr_mm4e661t9m1ql2t3wo4_250.gif

This is something I like and use a lot.