The beauty of submissive men

[kindlykinky]

Here we are again: porn that fulfills the sub's fantasies. And that's what it is---fantasy. These are pros, acting out male dreams.

My 2 cents...being a sub is about subordinating self, and serving my other. She may be a domme, or not. Doesn't matter. Her wishes and needs are Primary.

There we go again, judging. The same can be said about Veroe's pictures, as all of his pictures are of beautiful people acting out a role. They're just as much "pros" acting out a different fantasy.

Get away from the judgement. Different Domme's enjoy different things, different sub's enjoy different things. As long as a Domme and sub come together and enjoy what they share together, then that is a beautiful thing to see.

 

[twister947]

Sorry, I was reacting to more than one poster, and more than this particular thread.

The OP said it better than I.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

http://i1235.photobucket.com/albums/ff430/sultrykitten75/Mobile%20Uploads/images-6.jpeg

Mmmmm.....a black pussy, nice.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

http://i1235.photobucket.com/albums/ff430/sultrykitten75/Mobile%20Uploads/images-3.jpeg

I've wanted to try pegging for some time now....I think that it would be a great new experience for me.

 

[Veroe]

Still winding my way down through the pics, many of which are either absolutely hot or incredibly beautiful, but...



Holy mother of fuck, she did NOT just use that bull whip. A whip that long will tear flesh. My wife actually has one I bought for her as a souvenir (though not for BDSM and she does not Domme normally). He IS pretty torn, but not like a bull whip in full swing.

I knew that one was going to be controversial. Figured it would stir some interesting conversation between us though.

Did anybody see the protectiveness in her stance. I've always thought that maybe she wasn't the one who had whipped him in that picture, or I might just be reading into it too much. Either interpretation is completely valid.

Here we are again: porn that fulfills the sub's fantasies. And that's what it is---fantasy. These are pros, acting out male dreams.

My 2 cents...being a sub is about subordinating self, and serving my other. She may be a domme, or not. Doesn't matter. Her wishes and needs are Primary.

But what picture is there that you wouldn't say is fulfilling the sub's fantasy, and is that not what a domme should desire to do? I mean shouldn't her fantasies involve the fulfillment of the sub's? If not what the hell is the point of having any relations between them?

I've never liked the whole one way street sort of mentality. No sexual relationship should ever be so one sided. Maybe I'm not understanding the complexities involved in such a relationship.

 

[Touch_72]

I've never liked the whole one way street sort of mentality. No sexual relationship should ever be so one sided. Maybe I'm not understanding the complexities involved in such a relationship.

(Forgive typos... typing on the phone, which is always clunky with longer posts and harder to go back and edit)

That's where there's sort of a beauty to it.

The way I see it, it IS a two way street, though not in the sense of quid pro quo where something is required or demanded in return. That's true in different ways depending on the depth of the interaction, whether it's casual fun or a deeper relationship. Each gets something out of it, albeit different things from different perspectives in the dynamic.

Though the sub may be more concerned with service and putting the D's needs above his/her own, focused not on personal needs, there is a fulfillment in that... shallowly, on a fantasy level, but at greater depths... the rewarding feeling of giving, the structure it can provide that some subs feel they need, a balance in life in cases where it the sub lives more dominantly at work or in other roles...

There is personal development in submission... developing humility, the ability to "let go" of attachments to outcomes, learning to hand over trust in that process...

If the D sees the gift in that and appreciate's the sub's service, the sub feels that appreciation... feels wanted... feels protected, in some cases. A nurturing D also encourages that personal development, even if using ways to develop the sub that the sub would not normally choose... after all, the sub has entrusted that sort of thing to the D.

This isn't to say these things are demanded. It's up to the D. Nor is it to say the sub gets more out of things... there are rewards on both sides just by nature of the dynamic. I just think the two way street is often missed because people focus so much on the shallow face of things where it appears it's only about the D getting something out of it.

 

[Veroe]

(Forgive typos... typing on the phone, which is always clunky with longer posts and harder to go back and edit)

That's where there's sort of a beauty to it.

The way I see it, it IS a two way street, though not in the sense of quid pro quo where something is required or demanded in return. That's true in different ways depending on the depth of the interaction, whether it's casual fun or a deeper relationship. Each gets something out of it, albeit different things from different perspectives in the dynamic.

Though the sub may be more concerned with service and putting the D's needs above his/her own, focused not on personal needs, there is a fulfillment in that... shallowly, on a fantasy level, but at greater depths... the rewarding feeling of giving, the structure it can provide that some subs feel they need, a balance in life in cases where it the sub lives more dominantly at work or in other roles...

There is personal development in submission... developing humility, the ability to "let go" of attachments to outcomes, learning to hand over trust in that process...

If the D sees the gift in that and appreciate's the sub's service, the sub feels that appreciation... feels wanted... feels protected, in some cases. A nurturing D also encourages that personal development, even if using ways to develop the sub that the sub would not normally choose... after all, the sub has entrusted that sort of thing to the D.

This isn't to say these things are demanded. It's up to the D. Nor is it to say the sub gets more out of things... there are rewards on both sides just by nature of the dynamic. I just think the two way street is often missed because people focus so much on the shallow face of things where it appears it's only about the D getting something out of it.

Yes. that. I agree wholeheartedly with all the points you're making. One of the things I find interesting about BDSM relationships is the layers involved between two people.

 

[Erochic]

Here we are again: porn that fulfills the sub's fantasies. And that's what it is---fantasy. These are pros, acting out male dreams.

My 2 cents...being a sub is about subordinating self, and serving my other. She may be a domme, or not. Doesn't matter. Her wishes and needs are Primary.

Sorry, I was reacting to more than one poster, and more than this particular thread.

The OP said it better than I.

I knew that one was going to be controversial. Figured it would stir some interesting conversation between us though.

Did anybody see the protectiveness in her stance. I've always thought that maybe she wasn't the one who had whipped him in that picture, or I might just be reading into it too much. Either interpretation is completely valid.



But what picture is there that you wouldn't say is fulfilling the sub's fantasy, and is that not what a domme should desire to do? I mean shouldn't her fantasies involve the fulfillment of the sub's? If not what the hell is the point of having any relations between them?

I've never liked the whole one way street sort of mentality. No sexual relationship should ever be so one sided. Maybe I'm not understanding the complexities involved in such a relationship.

Thank you for all commenting.

I can understand why Twister reacted that way - there have been a few picture threads in the last days of female dominance and male submission that I have not found appealing at all

But I for one am very very happy that Sultry Kitten is posting pics. We all have different tastes... And recently Veroe posted pics for my tastes
(If anyone was wondering about the all the bondage cuff and Facesitting pics).

The whole point of the thread was to open up the stereotype and open up discussion - and that has been done brilliantly, and for that I thank everyone.

I agree that it must be a two way street. I don't like passivity, and for me a lot of the enjoyment is not only from getting what I want... But *knowing* he is getting what he wants.
His desire and enjoyment are key for me. If I don't know that I'm operating in a vacuum.

 

[tanyachrs]

I react negatively more to the outfits than any particular act. I definitely find the infliction of pain erotic under the right circumstances. If the woman is wearing almost nothing in black leather, it feels like the male vision of a domme, but there are bound to be women who want to dress like that, even if I don't.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...I agree that it must be a two way street. I don't like passivity, and for me a lot of the enjoyment is not only from getting what I want... But *knowing* he is getting what he wants.
His desire and enjoyment are key for me. If I don't know that I'm operating in a vacuum.

this.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1irkqwtyv1r3si7eo1_500.gif

I like everything about this, except her patting him. it feels condescending to me.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

I react negatively more to the outfits than any particular act. I definitely find the infliction of pain erotic under the right circumstances. If the woman is wearing almost nothing in black leather, it feels like the male vision of a domme, but there are bound to be women who want to dress like that, even if I don't.

Like so many things, everyone has a different perspective.

I have a corset which I don't tend to wear for a variety of reasons. But I went out to a kink event the other night and decided to wear it. Not for anyone else, but for me. And it helped me feel sexy. It gives a woman a shape she may have on her own, but helps enhance it. It pushes everything up and gets the guys to star and drool, which is something most women enjoy causing

 

[Veroe]

I react negatively more to the outfits than any particular act. I definitely find the infliction of pain erotic under the right circumstances. If the woman is wearing almost nothing in black leather, it feels like the male vision of a domme, but there are bound to be women who want to dress like that, even if I don't.

I asked once if they feel the leather and PVC and all that dominatrix wear is necessary. And one of the answers I got was it helped put that person in the right mindset to exert an aura of dominance, or to feel dominant. She said it was like a knight putting on his armor before battle or an athlete putting on their uniform to get into gamemode.

So there's that, but personally I really like the more casual outfits that just have a subtle touch of the dominant tone to them.

Examples:
http://36.media.tumblr.com/3627d5c2ab48e20de7ec993d1409e44e/tumblr_nf1z4erpJ61tmf8ldo1_500.jpg
The business attire can help with the impression of authority while showing some cleavage gives it a sultry seductive and sexy imprint to the impression.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/74d529d7dd3d64314b99e148f9df144d/tumblr_nd9f7ePtyD1tvpjxto1_500.jpg
http://31.media.tumblr.com/826bc85623e3d348c3d62449d449197b/tumblr_nc5j5xT7t81rq0txwo1_500.jpg
Normal clothes with high leather boots. The juxtaposition gives me the impression of a woman who's comfortable with who she is in all aspects of her life.

With your permission Erochic I'd like to post a few more pics of casual clothing dommes can wear.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Like so many things, everyone has a different perspective.

I have a corset which I don't tend to wear for a variety of reasons. But I went out to a kink event the other night and decided to wear it. Not for anyone else, but for me. And it helped me feel sexy. It gives a woman a shape she may have on her own, but helps enhance it. It pushes everything up and gets the guys to star and drool, which is something most women enjoy causing

http://41.media.tumblr.com/0d43e59a26e831b7fa5d89c7a9e49095/tumblr_mvx6yziZKN1sl9dpyo1_500.jpg

I would be very comfortable in this outfit, I like to believe that I can be strong and soft at the same time.

I asked once if they feel the leather and PVC and all that dominatrix wear is necessary. And one of the answers I got was it helped put that person in the right mindset to exert an aura of dominance, or to feel dominant. She said it was like a knight putting on his armor before battle or an athlete putting on their uniform to get into gamemode.

So there's that, but personally I really like the more casual outfits that just have a subtle touch of the dominant tone to them.

Examples:

http://38.media.tumblr.com/74d529d7dd3d64314b99e148f9df144d/tumblr_nd9f7ePtyD1tvpjxto1_500.jpg
http://31.media.tumblr.com/826bc85623e3d348c3d62449d449197b/tumblr_nc5j5xT7t81rq0txwo1_500.jpg
Normal clothes with high leather boots. The juxtaposition gives me the impression of a woman who's comfortable with who she is in all aspects of her life.

With your permission Erochic I'd like to post a few more pics of casual clothing dommes can wear.

that explanation makes sense, and I love the boots! can't imagine Erochic would object...

 

[Veroe]

My pic thread over in the SRP lounge is geared more to the dominant woman so I've spent a lot of time collecting pics of women in varying outfits you can see as dominatrixes (what's the plural of dominatrix). a lot of them is the boots-its like the hat and boots to cowboys. The boots make the outfit in a lot of them.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/b33ae768e750d34c0317438fda7f5aca/tumblr_natuo3THbz1qesiryo1_500.jpg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

http://38.media.tumblr.com/b33ae768e750d34c0317438fda7f5aca/tumblr_natuo3THbz1qesiryo1_500.jpg

I have a snug-fitting black leather jacket that I like to wear half-unzipped over a fuchsia lace bra...

Again, the combination of strength and softness appeals to me, regardless of whether I am subbing or topping.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

My pic thread over in the SRP lounge is geared more to the dominant woman so I've spent a lot of time collecting pics of women in varying outfits you can see as dominatrixes (what's the plural of dominatrix). a lot of them is the boots-its like the hat and boots to cowboys. The boots make the outfit in a lot of them.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/b33ae768e750d34c0317438fda7f5aca/tumblr_natuo3THbz1qesiryo1_500.jpg

I like that!

 

[Veroe]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/1d00ca17ce1bd82213f89b68fbca6a7b/tumblr_n6wna2CdEF1si80r6o1_500.jpg
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m66idtZkG21qh3x1zo1_400.jpg

 

[Veroe]

http://38.media.tumblr.com/bf53550a11c37ba33187d9517192ce67/tumblr_mgl8ijFgMZ1qgkn2to1_1280.jpg#http://33.media.tumblr.com/bf53550a11c37ba33187d9517192ce67/tumblr_mgl8ijFgMZ1qgkn2to1_500.jpg

I'm a legs man so a skirt that shows a lot of leg is very sexually empowering to the woman to me.

 

[Veroe]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4r6l208o21qgpjtfo1_1280.jpg#http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4r6l208o21qgpjtfo1_500.jpg

Take something normal like jean and blouse and put something kinky over it like a leather waist cincher on top of it. Its that juxtapositioning again.

 

[Veroe]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/0f7a10a5ec20f31c271f685500e39e19/tumblr_mq4q8qSEVR1rfjgt8o1_500.jpg

 

[Veroe]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/ad8e665959d28438e7d348093b8516ac/tumblr_mz48ptuTtD1qcr2gxo1_500.jpg

What I'm saying is a domme is a domme no matter what she's wearing. It will be clear in any outfit if she gives you that look, holds herself that way, speaks in the way dominant women do.

Still all the leather and corsets and boots can be really empowering to her and the psychological effect the visual makes on her sub can not be overlooked either.

 

[biseattlegirl]

I love submissive men. I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I love submissive men. I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

or not letting them cum. haha

I have found this to be very common as well. I recently had a conversation about this with a gentleman friend...

 

[Veroe]

I love submissive men. I am confused though by men who tell me they want to be sub for me but when I ask what they expect it involves me making them cum. Yes I will take care of you but my focus is not your sexual pleasure it is helping you satisfy your want to be submissive. I respect and honor that. Maybe I'm too young in this to understand fully.

Not really knowing exactly the situation I'd say those guys wanted you to be more aggressive and assertive in sex, which isn't exactly the same as them being submissive to you. A common misconception since the difference is very thin.

I don't think youth is a relevant issue, personally.

Did you require their submission outside the bedroom?