BDSM "acts" AS a fetish?

[NebraskaFetish]

Does anyone else enjoy the various aspects of BDSM as a fetish instead of a lifestyle? Like, I don't live a 24/7 D/s lifestyle and have never been collared (I've always seen that as a serious commitment and have yet to find someone worthy of my gift ). So, that's why I think this thread belongs in Fetish and not the BDSM board.

I am a masochist, to a point, and get off on some aspects of pain. I love bondage and sensory deprivation, spankings, breath play, body part worship (like cocks and pussies of a dominant person), and so on.

Am I alone? Are there others who love this, the fetishy aspect of D/s?

 

[coacheric]

Wife and I enjoy many aspects of the BDSM during sex but don't live any type of lifestyle. She loves for me to spank her and other body pain, bondage. I don't think it would ever go farther than the bed room but always turns both of us on

 

[vidmin]

The boat is filling up, I am a masochist, love to please sexually, not a lifestyle.

 

[OpenMouth]

Have had fun in the past but I wouldn't want it to be a 'lifestyle' thing.

 

[vidmin]

Have had fun in the past but I wouldn't want it to be a 'lifestyle' thing.

You sure do look good in panties.

 

[NebraskaFetish]

It's cool to see other like-minded individuals! One of the main reasons I didn't post in BDSM Talk was it seems they're very "serious" over there! I know it's not a lifestyle for me. I do consider myself passive/subservient, but I know I am also a brat and very opinionated. I probably would not/am not a "good sub". lol (Not to mention, if I "wasn't in the mood" or whatever I would be like "Um, no" concerning sex or some kind of command. Ya know?)

 

[vidmin]

Very true about bdsm talk, I see them sitting around a table drinking cognac hold long cig holders, blowing smoke. S&M is a real turn. can be sub, verbal abuse, what ever. Not walking down the street with a leash and collar on.

 

[midwestyankee]

Very true about bdsm talk, I see them sitting around a table drinking cognac hold long cig holders, blowing smoke. S&M is a real turn. can be sub, verbal abuse, what ever. Not walking down the street with a leash and collar on.

Actually, bourbon seems to be the most popular drink lately. Anyone who has spent any time at all in the BDSM Café would know that we have plenty of fun bantering with one another. The Talk section does stay fairly serious, but then it seems like most of the threads are started by people who want to learn more. And most of the forum regulars take that kind of thing seriously. You wouldn't want us to be joking about someone else's first kinky questions, would you?

 

[MissJW]

I dunno whether to answer yes or no to this. D/s is the basis of our sexlife, BDSM (meaning bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, along with minor aspects of sadism and masochism) is present during majority of our intimate times and we try to dedicate as many Sundays as possible for our "Sadistic Sunday" play (which is a whole another story, that's when it's on all day).

Simply put, me and the hubby don't fuck without the "D/s factor". I'm always the one dominating and he submits, the only thing that changes is who I want to do the topping bit and what sort of intensity do I / we crave.

So is it serious? Yes. But not in a grumpy way. For us it's the most natural thing, part of our personalities. Our intimacy is built around it and even if we're making love in a missionary position the dynamics is still there. As it is when I fuck him in the ass and he cries out of his earth shattering. Or anything in between.

So is it a lifestyle? Guess not, then. We are 100% equal outside anything sexual, we're partners with lots of respect for each other. I look up to my hubby, admire and love him to bits. Still I'm the one who says "what and how" when genitals are involved

 

[vidmin]

I dunno whether to answer yes or no to this. D/s is the basis of our sexlife, BDSM (meaning bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, along with minor aspects of sadism and masochism) is present during majority of our intimate times and we try to dedicate as many Sundays as possible for our "Sadistic Sunday" play (which is a whole another story, that's when it's on all day).

Simply put, me and the hubby don't fuck without the "D/s factor". I'm always the one dominating and he submits, the only thing that changes is who I want to do the topping bit and what sort of intensity do I / we crave.

So is it serious? Yes. But not in a grumpy way. For us it's the most natural thing, part of our personalities. Our intimacy is built around it and even if we're making love in a missionary position the dynamics is still there. As it is when I fuck him in the ass and he cries out of his earth shattering. Or anything in between.

So is it a lifestyle? Guess not, then. We are 100% equal outside anything sexual, we're partners with lots of respect for each other. I look up to my hubby, admire and love him to bits. Still I'm the one who says "what and how" when genitals are involved

You have described my wife and I perfectly.

 

[NebraskaFetish]

I dunno whether to answer yes or no to this. D/s is the basis of our sexlife, BDSM (meaning bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, along with minor aspects of sadism and masochism) is present during majority of our intimate times and we try to dedicate as many Sundays as possible for our "Sadistic Sunday" play (which is a whole another story, that's when it's on all day).

Simply put, me and the hubby don't fuck without the "D/s factor". I'm always the one dominating and he submits, the only thing that changes is who I want to do the topping bit and what sort of intensity do I / we crave.

So is it serious? Yes. But not in a grumpy way. For us it's the most natural thing, part of our personalities. Our intimacy is built around it and even if we're making love in a missionary position the dynamics is still there. As it is when I fuck him in the ass and he cries out of his earth shattering. Or anything in between.

So is it a lifestyle? Guess not, then. We are 100% equal outside anything sexual, we're partners with lots of respect for each other. I look up to my hubby, admire and love him to bits. Still I'm the one who says "what and how" when genitals are involved

This is very interesting insight. See? Perhaps I'd be more like you two if I did find a serious partner who seems to be my "equal opposite". So far in my life, there's just been several play partners that I would call good friends, etc.

 

[MissJW]

..... have never been collared (I've always seen that as a serious commitment and have yet to find someone worthy of my gift ).

That's the one thing I forgot to mention. I've given my husband two bracelets and one collar (from a pet store, real cute pink with studs) for him to wear when he needs me close (while I'm physically far away). So far I don't think I've ever used them as a form of dominance, but he himself has told me he's used them for purpose mentioned above and if he's woken up feeling very submissive and needy of me doing a bit of controlling.

I think it's lovely how all that rises from within him. All I've done to get there is my bit in establishing trust and love between us and provided the actual physical accessories - and then the lovely boy goes and uses them just right

 

[MissJW]

You have described my wife and I perfectly.

Glad to hear it. You two must be happy, keep up the good work

This is very interesting insight. See? Perhaps I'd be more like you two if I did find a serious partner who seems to be my "equal opposite". So far in my life, there's just been several play partners that I would call good friends, etc.

When you do find a serious partner, that equal opposite indeed, there's no turning back! All that incredible love and the most intense feelings ever will sweep you off your feet Best of luck in finding that!

 

[vidmin]

We are, been married 38yrs, childhood sweethearts. Still hot for each other. Every lovemaking session contains some form of S&M.

 

[Kitty]

Temp play and impact play most of all. But no I have yet to wait on my hands and knees while blindfolded for my Sir partner to come home.

 

[NebraskaFetish]

When you do find a serious partner, that equal opposite indeed, there's no turning back! All that incredible love and the most intense feelings ever will sweep you off your feet Best of luck in finding that!

Thank you!

 

[bi_sub_lady_doc]

Some people fail to distinguish between fantasy
& reality.
They should clearly understand that any fetish
is strictly confined to the sex sessions.some so
called dommes believe that submissives are
always the same & the subs would listen to any of
their whims , even those ones which interfere with
the normal outer world of the subs..no one
lives it 24*7.The subs only play as a sub during sex because it pleasures her/him.Often
they are stark opposite in real world.so
why should they follow the stuffs which lie
beyond their comfort territory.

 

[NebraskaFetish]

So, last night was all about that wild, animalistic sex. Biting, scratching, pulling, crushing, grunting sex!

 

[thuxatra]

I'm definitely into BDSM acts as a fetish not a lifestyle.

However, I have given consideration to the idea that if I reached a point where I no longer had a girlfriend and was at such a point where the dating scene dried up...
I'd consider entering the lifestyle side of things. I'm bisexual, and I've even once been outrightly invited into such a situation with a guy who was an antiques collector. I stopped by his store as I was visiting some antique shops and we ended up talking for a good hour or two about random this that and the other thing, and he was definitely flirting with me a lot. And then he asked me what my lifestyle interests were and then he outrightly invited me to live with him.

And you know what? If it had been a couple of years sooner instead of roughly a year ago...I might have said to hell with the rest of my life (because life left a lot to be desired at that time) and taken him up on his offer.

 

[CambsNortyM]

Hanky-Spanky

Does anyone else enjoy the various aspects of BDSM as a fetish instead of a lifestyle? Like, I don't live a 24/7 D/s lifestyle [...]. So, that's why I think this thread belongs in Fetish and not the BDSM board.

Am I alone? Are there others who love this, the fetishy aspect of D/s?

I think it might be an element of sex-play for most couples; a full-on dom/sub lifestyle is for the few, I reckon.

The Ann Summers lingerie, fetish wear and sex-toy chain with high-street shops throughout the UK, has plenty of handcuffs, spanking paddles, whips etc on sale, evidence that you get lots of spanking play amongst 'normal' couples.

Speaking personally, I've given and received spankings, strappings, paddlings and canings. I loved admiring the neat cane-stripes on my arse over the next few days.

But I couldn't live a D/S lifestyle 24/7, or even on one day every week. For me it's best as kinky play.

 

[NebraskaFetish]

I think it might be an element of sex-play for most couples; a full-on dom/sub lifestyle is for the few, I reckon.

The Ann Summers lingerie, fetish wear and sex-toy chain with high-street shops throughout the UK, has plenty of handcuffs, spanking paddles, whips etc on sale, evidence that you get lots of spanking play amongst 'normal' couples.

Speaking personally, I've given and received spankings, strappings, paddlings and canings. I loved admiring the neat cane-stripes on my arse over the next few days.

But I couldn't live a D/S lifestyle 24/7, or even on one day every week. For me it's best as kinky play.

Very good insight. I think you're right that many couples express at least some interest in BDSM acts. Hell, adult stores sell things like fuzzy cuffs and paddles that are quite padded for those who want "only a little kink", etc. It makes me wonder if anyone out there still has a 100% vanilla sex life.

 

[xhellblazerx]

Just curious why people think BDSM has to be 24/7?

Even D/S relationships are not always playing the roles.

People who enjoy swapping/swinging for instance. That is also referred to as a "lifestyle" but they don't do it seven days a week.

 

[CambsNortyM]

Just curious why people think BDSM has to be 24/7?

Even D/S relationships are not always playing the roles.

People who enjoy swapping/swinging for instance. That is also referred to as a "lifestyle" but they don't do it seven days a week.

A good point and politely made.

 

[OpenMouth]

...............

 

[NebraskaFetish]

Just curious why people think BDSM has to be 24/7?

Even D/S relationships are not always playing the roles.

People who enjoy swapping/swinging for instance. That is also referred to as a "lifestyle" but they don't do it seven days a week.

A good point and politely made.

Yes, that is a good point. I guess I saw it as I don't have a long-term partner that I am committed to.