Minor erotica annoyance

[Over_Red]

Irritant:

She was dressed in black platform heels with fishnet stockings. The stockings were supported by a matching black garter belt. She was wearing a thigh-length red dress that, if she lifted her legs slightly, exposed the straps of the garter going down to the stockings. The dress was silky and slightly reflective, with an exposed back and a small heart-shaped hole exposing just a hint of her breast. It hung off her body from where it looped around her neck.

Her hair was blah blah blah...

Writing like that makes me close the tab.

 

[sr71plt]

Irritant:



Writing like that makes me close the tab.

It would me too. But that was the foundation for Chik-lit, which made some authors big bucks because there were (and probably are) readers who enjoyed it. Which goes back to not everyone is writing for one reader specifically or wanting to read what one specific other reader likes to read.

Whatever happened to celebrating diversity, I wonder.

 

[Athlantian]

Bra size ect

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

Which is why I never, ever buy lingerie to women unless they have surplied me with the sizes.
You're still right though. While I have learned the system of bra sizes, I find myself unable to look at a woman and determine what bra-size she wears.
Yet another reason for giving readers something to compare them with, instead of just dishing out the bra size.
Another point is.. do the reader really need to know the exact size? I mean unless one of the characters in the story goes shopping for lingerie, why would it ever be mentioned?
Most men doesn't look at breasts and think "Wow. That gotta be a [insert favorite bra size] right there!", it's more like "Damn, that looks good!"

Now, I know that some people actually like to know exact sizes of just about everything and thats okay. To each their own, but I do expect the creative people here (The writers) to come up with a more elegant way of giving that information that just stating it within the first ten sentences of the story.

Another point (Which several people in here have touched as well) if the power of imagination.
We all create pictures in our heads as we read and as soon as writers give out infomation like 36 DD or a 10" dick, these pictures become limited to one exact size, instead of being what the reader imagined.

The old "Show, don't tell" still works

 

[noye]

It would me too. But that was the foundation for Chik-lit, which made some authors big bucks because there were (and probably are) readers who enjoyed it. Which goes back to not everyone is writing for one reader specifically or wanting to read what one specific other reader likes to read.

Whatever happened to celebrating diversity, I wonder.

No one is condemning diversity.

 

[desertslave]

Irritant:



Writing like that makes me close the tab.

And that is why I quit reading Laurell Hamiltion. If I had to hear about one more fucking Nike swoosh, I was going to run screaming! Was Nike paying her or something? FUCK!

Now, I'm into clothing design and I'm a color slut (and a pearl whore, just for the record) but I would never inflict my particular kinks on an unwilling and unsuspecting readership. Some details are helpful (big breasts, skinny legs, dark hair, light eyes) but when it goes overboard I tend to wonder why the writer is basically stalling with excessive description.

 

[redzinger]

And that is why I quit reading Laurell Hamiltion. If I had to hear about one more fucking Nike swoosh, I was going to run screaming! Was Nike paying her or something? FUCK!

Laurell K. Hamilton, of Anita Blake fame? I'd have to agree.

If there's ever an example of an author who needed a decent editor, it's her. How wrong can you go? Her later books are bloody hopeless. Even the sex got tedious. Especially the sex. There's only so many times you can go on about fighting your upbringing.

 

[Handley_Page]

Laurell K. Hamilton, of Anita Blake fame? I'd have to agree.

If there's ever an example of an author who needed a decent editor, it's her. How wrong can you go? Her later books are bloody hopeless. Even the sex got tedious. Especially the sex. There's only so many times you can go on about fighting your upbringing.

Never read it, but as an answer to noye's question on another thread, it seems that the answer to his question is 'yes'.

PS. What's a Nike whoosh ?

 

[JLCC]

Smuckers, anyone?

I think this analogy fits. I have used it to describe why video and pic porn often uses the biggest and most airbrushed caricatures.

Back in the 70s, Smuckers had a commercial that showed a pastoral scene, describing the smell of grandma's jam wafting through the county. Smuckers couldn't replicate the love that went into the jam that grandma made, so they opted to find a way to lock in more of the flavour.

I liken the physical exaggerations to the flavour. Some of the porn written appeals only to the libido, not the heart.

 

[PennLady]

Never read it, but as an answer to noye's question on another thread, it seems that the answer to his question is 'yes'.

PS. What's a Nike whoosh ?

The Nike "swoosh" is the checkmark-like logo that appears on Nike products.

 

[Over_Red]

PS. What's a Nike whoosh ?

http://i.forbesimg.com/media/lists/companies/nike_416x416.jpg

 

[AZMotherLover]

What about the women who are a bit stupid and do like a massive cock. We need to be catered for too. Luv Misty xxxxx

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a370/nissandragger/tumblr_llbrtpDhMr1qint86o1_500_zpsd01dd382.jpg

 

[GoldenCojones]

Hmmm

Irritant:
Quote:
She was dressed in black platform heels with fishnet stockings. The stockings were supported by a matching black garter belt. She was wearing a thigh-length red dress that, if she lifted her legs slightly, exposed the straps of the garter going down to the stockings. The dress was silky and slightly reflective, with an exposed back and a small heart-shaped hole exposing just a hint of her breast. It hung off her body from where it looped around her neck.

Her hair was blah blah blah...


Writing like that makes me close the tab.

I was just getting into the description

 

[Tessi3]

Almost every story I've read or at least the greater percentage has two little things that bother me: dumb women only interested in the largest dick AND all men are sex gods that bring every woman to climax with just the woman observing their man meat.

Seriously eight out of the past ten I've read have the woman ending up with a dude with a dong cresting 10 inches and as thick as a bike pump. Not only is it the largest they've seen or had but the act of gazing at it causes a tsunami between their legs that threatens to drown both parties in everflowing pussy runoff from continual orgasms.

I know this is an exaggeration, but taking another break between finals and writing I needed to vent.

Now what is some of your folks annoyances in erotica? Could be the same or not, I just think it's about time for some variety and maybe this could be used as a reference for some of us newer writers.

The thing that annoys me the most is pretty simple. Grammar! And spelling. It's so distracting when reading a story. Even a really hot one. Spellcheck people. Spellcheck!

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Ah, then you don't think that initiating a thread of objection to what some readers here prefer to read and writers prefer to write by volunteering that it is irksome to you is a dose of aggression. Interesting.

Even the Quran of CMS tells the faithful not to use digits below a limit, so my 12-inch cock breaks style guidelines.

sr, the site purports to be erotica rather than stroke so I gauge your post to be off left field. Measurements of body parts are probably the greatest turn-offs.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

The Nike "swoosh" is the checkmark-like logo that appears on Nike products.

And it is 'Nikee' not Nike because of the Greek demigod.

 

[sr71plt]

I think the definition of sick obsession would be Elfin responding to one of my posts five days after the fact--and being irrelevant to boot. Where did I mention 12-inch cock as opposed to twelve-inch cock? Where, in fact, did I mention twelve-in cock at all, crazy lady?

 

[desertslave]

And it is 'Nikee' not Nike because of the Greek demigod.

I've never seen that spelling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nike_(mythology)

 

[robertreams]

Some time ago, we were challenged in this thread to write a story about plain ordinary people. I have started. No stupendous gushing orgasms, no pussy as tight as a square knot, no 12" dicks, just two less than ordinary people who wind up caring about each other and fucking their brains out.
It isn't easy.

 

[sr71plt]

Some time ago, we were challenged in this thread to write a story about plain ordinary people. I have started. No stupendous gushing orgasms, no pussy as tight as a square knot, no 12" dicks, just two less than ordinary people who wind up caring about each other and fucking their brains out.
It isn't easy.

I think what's hard about it is making it arousing and erotic. I think those wanting "normal" stories mostly took a wrong turn when arriving at Literotica for their reads. And that's before they posted threads in trying to get everyone to write what they personally want to read (apparently over and over again).

 

[PennLady]

I've never seen that spelling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nike_(mythology)

I think she was specifying pronunciation, not necessarily spelling.

 

[Over_Red]

I was just getting into the description

I chuckled.

You know, it's not so much boring as it is condescending when I see a description that goes on at length. Or, maybe more - it's like the writer is afraid that unless they specifically hammer out every single detail, the reader won't "get it". It implies that they're unsure about their story, so they're going to spend five minutes clinging to the moment they can easily visualize.

On the other hand, I enjoy Tolkien, and he's the master of spending three pages on nothing but description. To be fair, I'm more interested in worldbuilding than I am in clothing.

 

[Hypoxia]

My ex-sister-in-law is a NY Times BS List F&SF author whom I dearly love -- but she's a longtime member of SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms), a real Pleasure Faire costume freak, and she often goes on for PAGES with abstruse, detailed clothing descriptions, whether in medieval-based fantasy worlds or 1800 New Orleans. Too much sometimes...

 

[Over_Red]

My ex-sister-in-law is a NY Times BS List F&SF author whom I dearly love -- but she's a longtime member of SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms), a real Pleasure Faire costume freak, and she often goes on for PAGES with abstruse, detailed clothing descriptions, whether in medieval-based fantasy worlds or 1800 New Orleans. Too much sometimes...

Well, know thy audience, I suppose.

 

[sr71plt]

Well, know thy audience, I suppose.

Right-o. It's a bit incongruous to be saying "NYT BS list" and that the writing is "too much" of something in the same sentence. Apparently it isn't too much to a whole bunch of book buyers.

 

[GoldenCojones]

I chuckled.

You know, it's not so much boring as it is condescending when I see a description that goes on at length. Or, maybe more - it's like the writer is afraid that unless they specifically hammer out every single detail, the reader won't "get it". It implies that they're unsure about their story, so they're going to spend five minutes clinging to the moment they can easily visualize.

On the other hand, I enjoy Tolkien, and he's the master of spending three pages on nothing but description. To be fair, I'm more interested in worldbuilding than I am in clothing.

As long as the description is well written I love lots of it. I could read a five page description of a woman's breast if it was written well. Well, maybe a two page description