Minor erotica annoyance

[StrangeLife]

Two all guys are hung like bulls and can make dumb sluts cum because they are such amazing lovers.

Note the key word is fantasy.

Yeah, in real life cock size is totally unimportant. This is how to make a woman orgasm :


Man: "I have a steady job, I never cheat, I hardly ever get drunk, I believe in sharing house hold chores and I prefer spending time with my family over watching football..."

Woman: "OH GOD! I'M CUMMING!!!!!"

 

[patientlee]

Yeah, in real life cock size is totally unimportant. This is how to make a woman orgasm :


Man: "I have a steady job, I never cheat, I hardly ever get drunk, I believe in sharing house hold chores and I prefer spending time with my family over watching football..."

Woman: "OH GOD! I'M CUMMING!!!!!"

Yeah. That happened to me at the breakfast table yesterday.

 

[desertslave]

I try not to throw penis size, and bra size out there, I just make it known that there is enough of it to be pleasing, at the end of the day, if you can't find a story to get off on... write it yourself, 5" dicks, and thimble tits if that's your thing.

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

 

[GermanGoddess]

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Completely agree. I wrote a story from a male pov recently and when I hit the description of her breasts, I knew better than to just say the size. I always think it's fun to ask guys to guess breast size and explain how the know. One guy was convinced he would prefer 40D to 36D, until I explained what the measurements mean. Not that one is better than the other, just that he clearly had no idea what the numbers and letters mean.
I guess if the size is said in a 3rd person perspective, throwing out a bra size is fine. But there are plenty of ways to convey the same information...plus, in my experience, a lot of guys reading won't really understand what the sizes mean anyway.

 

[Handley_Page]

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

Completely agree. I wrote a story from a male pov recently and when I hit the description of her breasts, I knew better than to just say the size. I always think it's fun to ask guys to guess breast size and explain how the know.
..plus, in my experience, a lot of guys reading won't really understand what the sizes mean anyway.

It took me a very long time to persuade one lady of my acquaintance to let me have her size so I could get her some fripperies one Christmas. But I discovered that, rather helpfully, one firm had a "Gentleman's late night" where women were NOT permitted (unless it was staff) and the sales ladies were Very Helpful in making sure that the fella got it as near right as he could.
The night I went, there were still several men looking remarkably shifty, even embarrassed, as they squinted at the goods on display.

And as a guess, I reckon that a nice, svelte 34B is more than enough (34-22-36 and about 5ft 8)

 

[patientlee]

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

Yeah. That's it.

If only that were true. I HATE bra shopping.

 

[noye]

There's more male authors here than female.

Many male authors write pure stroke and pure male fantasy and that fantasy consists of two things.

One-all women are hot dumb sluts who cant get enough cock

Two all guys are hung like bulls and can make dumb sluts cum because they are such amazing lovers.

Note the key word is fantasy.

The men posting these stories write about dumb women because smart ones intimidate them and they write about their "studs" being male porn stars because they themselves have no clue what to do with a woman

That is why the key word is fantasy, in these cases male fantasy.

Most of the guys that post here in the AH tend to write a cut above that, but when you get own into the everyday stories posted on this site, you see a lot of one handed reads in every category and in general they are written by men for men.

There are exceptions of course, but most of the female writers I've seen do a lot better than "Oh, honey, please let me suck your amazing cock"

Lit always has and always will appeal more to that type of man.

Guys like me who write in a different style and make my females strong willed, independent and equal to the men?

Well I'm either a woman or a man who's a sissy.

More male testosterone driven stupidity on a site that strives to cater to it.

That's interesting I actually thought there were more women erotica authors. No sarcasm, I really thought most erotica authors were women in general o.0

You're reading the wrong stories. The best suggestion I can give you is to find an author you like and check his/her favorites. Maybe that will lead you to others you like.

Or.you could cUT to the chase and just read mine.

You're on the list that keeps growing =P

Yeah, in real life cock size is totally unimportant. This is how to make a woman orgasm :


Man: "I have a steady job, I never cheat, I hardly ever get drunk, I believe in sharing house hold chores and I prefer spending time with my family over watching football..."

Woman: "OH GOD! I'M CUMMING!!!!!"

omg that has has to be the best response ever! Reminds me of that Dilbert comic where the woman is so bored yet aroused at his stability.

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

THIS a million times over THIS! Not to mention on the off chance the guy could guess by sight bra sizes can vary by the brand too so unless he has xray vision or can also tell bra brand through clothes his guess is going to be always off the mark.

Completely agree. I wrote a story from a male pov recently and when I hit the description of her breasts, I knew better than to just say the size. I always think it's fun to ask guys to guess breast size and explain how the know. One guy was convinced he would prefer 40D to 36D, until I explained what the measurements mean. Not that one is better than the other, just that he clearly had no idea what the numbers and letters mean.
I guess if the size is said in a 3rd person perspective, throwing out a bra size is fine. But there are plenty of ways to convey the same information...plus, in my experience, a lot of guys reading won't really understand what the sizes mean anyway.

I tend to write sizes as estimate or give an explanation as to why a man would know that because all the guys I've talked to always say the same 'I like them all but I prefer A/B/C/D'. Ask them how they measure? Hands. Almost always: hands. Sometimes mouth if they are pervs and want to impress, I guess?

 

[DreamCloud]

The men posting these stories write about dumb women because smart ones intimidate them and they write about their "studs" being male porn stars because they themselves have no clue what to do with a woman

Intelligence is an aphrodisiac. It's dumb women I find intimidating - I have no idea how to talk with fashion "Barbie."

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Completely agree. I wrote a story from a male pov recently and when I hit the description of her breasts, I knew better than to just say the size. I always think it's fun to ask guys to guess breast size and explain how the know. One guy was convinced he would prefer 40D to 36D, until I explained what the measurements mean. Not that one is better than the other, just that he clearly had no idea what the numbers and letters mean.
I guess if the size is said in a 3rd person perspective, throwing out a bra size is fine. But there are plenty of ways to convey the same information...plus, in my experience, a lot of guys reading won't really understand what the sizes mean anyway.

The bra size thing amuses the hell out of me. I don't know of a single real life guy who can look at a woman and immediately know exactly what bra size she wears. But yet so many fantasy guys have this skill. It's laughable.

Perhaps it's a deep-set yearning to be able to buy r/l girlfriends properly-fitting lingerie.

Listing bra size cracks me up also. I don't mind cup size so much if it is deftly inserted as an observation rather than through character description. Most people can look at a pair of breasts and judge whether they are A, B, C. D or DD, but beyond that it's mostly guesswork. But strap length? How does that convey any useful information, even if it could be accurately guessed?

I also have to say that I kind of agree with the O.P. I find that too many stories rely on enormous cocks to make the man interesting or desirable. I used to exclusively write about average size cocks more or less in rebellion to the big dick trope, but lately I find that cock size is increasing in my own stories. I attribute that to my lack of ideas regarding how to make a dick interesting to the reader. Above average length or girth is becoming the norm, rather than the exception.

 

[GermanGoddess]

I also have to say that I kind of agree with the O.P. I find that too many stories rely on enormous cocks to make the man interesting or desirable. I used to exclusively write about average size cocks more or less in rebellion to the big dick trope, but lately I find that cock size is increasing in my own stories. I attribute that to my lack of ideas regarding how to make a dick interesting to the reader. Above average length or girth is becoming the norm, rather than the exception.

That's a good point. I know there's plenty of variation among them, but large size seems to be what gets people going. I'm dreading cock description in my next story. I got to avoid it some last time around, but I'm writing in 3rd person for the current ones I'm working on. I'll try to come up with more unique descriptions...

 

[noye]

Listing bra size cracks me up also. I don't mind cup size so much if it is deftly inserted as an observation rather than through character description. Most people can look at a pair of breasts and judge whether they are A, B, C. D or DD, but beyond that it's mostly guesswork. But strap length? How does that convey any useful information, even if it could be accurately guessed?

I also have to say that I kind of agree with the O.P. I find that too many stories rely on enormous cocks to make the man interesting or desirable. I used to exclusively write about average size cocks more or less in rebellion to the big dick trope, but lately I find that cock size is increasing in my own stories. I attribute that to my lack of ideas regarding how to make a dick interesting to the reader. Above average length or girth is becoming the norm, rather than the exception.

I love you so much because you understand where I'm coming from! I do fear one day I'll be in that boat because, let's face it, dicks are very boring. I mean you can only do so much to make a cock sound better and unfortunately that seems to be tied to size.

 

[desertslave]

I love you so much because you understand where I'm coming from! I do fear one day I'll be in that boat because, let's face it, dicks are very boring. I mean you can only do so much to make a cock sound better and unfortunately that seems to be tied to size.

Now, see, I have to disagree with that. There are all sorts of interesting quirks about cocks that can be worth describing. Is the head larger or smaller than proportionate to the shaft? What color is it? Is the slit small or large? Is it dry, sporting just a bead of precum, or eagerly oozing down the head? Does the shaft have prominent veins? Is his pulse evident in a steady bobbing? Is it straight out, up, or does it have an interesting curve?

That should get you started.

 

[redzinger]

Yeah. That's it.

If only that were true. I HATE bra shopping.

Me too. I've spent hours in various shops trying to find bras that fit. I've been reduced to tears of despair. It doesn't help that I've gone from a 36FF to a 32D, but even when I was a standard 34DD/E, the only type I could wear were plunge.

The most annoying is when you FINALLY find one that fits, only to discover the matching knickers are those horrible thongs with really thick elastic for a gusset, instead of a nice flimsy string.

If I can go through a whole shop and not find a bra that fits, there ain't a hope in hell that a bloke can somehow pick one up.

 

[PennLady]

Well, you know, one of the things that irks me with forum threads is folks telling others folks about the forms of erotica that irk them--leaving the impression that they expect writers to turn on a dime and only serve their individual interests, arousals, and fetishes. Suggesting that their interests are what everyone should write about, in the way they want it written about. It irks me that they don't just go looking for what they want to read (and using the forum, for instance, just to ask for recommendations) rather than phrasing it as a "you should write for me rather than for anyone else because these other approaches are all garbage" request or demand or whatever.

But now we'll get the weekly thread discussion of why what anyone else wants to read or write for Literotica isn't acceptable or good enough in its own service to the appropriate wide range interests here. And specifically the "no one should use measurements because no one is turned on by the use of them" fallacy. In fact, there are readers/writers who think and respond in terms of numbers--and extraordinary numbers as well. But we won't just leave them the hell alone to feed their own fetishes, will we? We'll tell them their fetish is a ipso facto turn off for "everyone."

I think you're taking this entirely the wrong way. Just because a person vents about something doesn't mean they want the world to change and cater to that. Sometimes a vent or rant or complaint is just that. There are various erotica things that irk me, either because it simply doesn't arouse me or because they're so common, but I've never said no one should write them, because that's silly.

If exaggerated features and reactions irk noye, he/she is free to say so and it doesn't mean that noye wants everyone to write normal stuff. I think a lot of people, when they stumble on a site like Lit, probably binge on reading and yes, you see a lot of commonalities. And that's who you find out what arouses you and what doesn't and if you read a lot and see a lot of the same elements, no matter how unusual or exotic to you, they'll come to seem less so.

It's true that many of us who have expressed our opinion here seem not to care for numerical measurements, but it doesn't mean we're saying never use them. Perhaps some people are, but I'm not and I think a lot of others aren't. They are just making statements, expressing opinions. Surely there's room to discuss why people think specific things in erotica work or don't without it being deemed some kind of edict for writers to not write like that.

I don't understand why you seem to equate expressing an opinion with making a demand. I completely did not get the sense that noye was implying anyone should write only what noye thinks is arousing. There are various erotica tropes that bug me, but who cares, I stop reading and then, probably like many of us do, I go write what I do like and hope others like it. Like you do.

 

[PennLady]

I also have to say that I kind of agree with the O.P. I find that too many stories rely on enormous cocks to make the man interesting or desirable. I used to exclusively write about average size cocks more or less in rebellion to the big dick trope, but lately I find that cock size is increasing in my own stories. I attribute that to my lack of ideas regarding how to make a dick interesting to the reader. Above average length or girth is becoming the norm, rather than the exception.

But perhaps you're looking for more than those stories are offering. Seems to me that it's the stroke stories, the quickies, that have that kind of description more than many other stories. And in those stories, that may be the more attractive, if not interesting, aspect of the guy.

I generally don't describe my characters' bodies very much. Partly I'm not good at it (I don't think physical description of people is my strongest point at all) and partly I prefer to give a general framework and let the reader fill in. However, if I was writing a story and those measurements were important, I'd put them in.

 

[sr71plt]

I think you're taking this entirely the wrong way. Just because a person vents about something doesn't mean they want the world to change and cater to that. Sometimes a vent or rant or complaint is just that. There are various erotica things that irk me, either because it simply doesn't arouse me or because they're so common, but I've never said no one should write them, because that's silly.

Me too. But I don't post them on the forum. Which is the point. I wouldn't post them on the forum if I didn't expect to then be catered to.

But as long as you think it's OK for someone to rant their writing choices irks occasionally on the forum, then you don't mind mine having ranted my irk on this, do you?

 

[desertslave]

Me too. But I don't post them on the forum. Which is the point. I wouldn't post them on the forum if I didn't expect to then be catered to.

But as long as you think it's OK for someone to rant their writing choices irks occasionally on the forum, then you don't mind mine having ranted my irk on this, do you?

That's an odd either/or, but certainly your choice. I think many more of us just discuss things that are peculiar to our chosen genre (sometimes even more peculiar than they ought to be). The numbers thing will throw me out of a story faster than a bucket of ice water. I can't help but think "yeah, right" and then I'm clicking away looking for something better.

It seems to me there could be a (vast, untapped?) readership out there who would enjoy someone ordinary thrust into extraordinary circumstances just as much as someone extraordinary thrusting into someone utterly absurd in the making.

 

[noye]

I think you're taking this entirely the wrong way. Just because a person vents about something doesn't mean they want the world to change and cater to that. Sometimes a vent or rant or complaint is just that. There are various erotica things that irk me, either because it simply doesn't arouse me or because they're so common, but I've never said no one should write them, because that's silly.

If exaggerated features and reactions irk noye, he/she is free to say so and it doesn't mean that noye wants everyone to write normal stuff. I think a lot of people, when they stumble on a site like Lit, probably binge on reading and yes, you see a lot of commonalities. And that's who you find out what arouses you and what doesn't and if you read a lot and see a lot of the same elements, no matter how unusual or exotic to you, they'll come to seem less so.

It's true that many of us who have expressed our opinion here seem not to care for numerical measurements, but it doesn't mean we're saying never use them. Perhaps some people are, but I'm not and I think a lot of others aren't. They are just making statements, expressing opinions. Surely there's room to discuss why people think specific things in erotica work or don't without it being deemed some kind of edict for writers to not write like that.

I don't understand why you seem to equate expressing an opinion with making a demand. I completely did not get the sense that noye was implying anyone should write only what noye thinks is arousing. There are various erotica tropes that bug me, but who cares, I stop reading and then, probably like many of us do, I go write what I do like and hope others like it. Like you do.

Thank you! At no point would I ever want to force a writer to change because I don't like something. Creative writing in any form shouldn't alter itself to cater to the few who complain but being aware of tropes can help a writer avoid getting stuck into a rut of just following the people that came before. Plus what's the best way to get any writer to write something? Tell them not to. Seems a bit counter productive if that was my goal.

 

[LaRascasse]

Wait, hold the presses!

So the world isn't composed of walking 55GG breasts and pussies whose sole raison d'etre is to accommodate massive 20+ inches of pulsing, throbbing veiny flesh that juts so far out of our crotches that we have a hard timing putting on pants?

There goes my whole belief system.

Strangely enough, I find the cartoonish anatomy tolerable compared to the characters themselves.

John: Hey, there Judy! Long time since we met.

Judy: Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me with your imitation anaconda until I cum like a geyser and flood the street knee deep in my cum. What the fuck are you waiting for? Fuck meeee! I don't care your mother is in the room, or that mine is. They'll join in a paragraph or so later. Just slam that human pool cue into my corner pocket.

You'd be surprised how many stories here read like they were miscategorized parodies.

Except they aren't.

And this is the part of my post where I shamelessly advertise myself as better than them and point you towards the link to my stories in my sig. *hint* *hint*

 

[PennLady]

Me too. But I don't post them on the forum. Which is the point. I wouldn't post them on the forum if I didn't expect to then be catered to.

But I don't get why you think posting about them on a forum means a person wants to be catered to. Why can't a person just vent about it and not mean anything more than that? Isn't this a place for authors and readers to discuss writing? if so, why can't things that we like and don't like be part of the discussion?

But as long as you think it's OK for someone to rant their writing choices irks occasionally on the forum, then you don't mind mine having ranted my irk on this, do you?

Nope, not at all.

 

[Hypoxia]

My stories often inhabit a fantasy universe where people are physically attractive but not outlandishly endowed, are mostly fairly rational unless they're quite wasted, and try to do things they find pleasant. I know, it's an impossible world. So sue me.

I may allow my players to describe their own physiognomies, like "I've measured my cock at eight inches" or, "I told him I wear 36DD" or, more commonly, "She stood nose-high to my six-foot-four frame". I can work that into my realism fetish. Narrators or omniscient observers may rattle-off statistics in my parodies; that's where they belong.

 

[RetroFan]

For me, some of the worst stories are those that are seemingly set in reality, but focus so much on a fetish aspect that they become completely unrealistic.

For example, if I read a story about a pretty bridesmaid who has sex with her boyfriend in the powder room at her older sister's boring wedding, I know I am reading about something that could actually happen in real life. Alternately, if I read a story about two college students, one male and one female who are abducted by a UFO, given an aphrodisiac by the aliens which then observe them having sex; or a story involving alternate dimensions or time travel, then I know I am reading sci-fi/fantasy, and adjust my reading and expectations accordingly.

However, if I read a story seemingly set in the real world where there is an all-girls college that only admits either only red haired girls, girls over six feet tall, or where the students are not permitted to wear shoes and all the girls attend in bare feet, these three scenarios all are unrealistic, and therefore the stories will not be very good. And it is easy to write good stories for these fetishes. For example, if an author has a fetish for red haired girls, write a story about a guy who travels to a country where red hair is common, such as Ireland or Denmark. For a tall girl fetish, write a story about a girls' college basketball team. For a foot fetish, write a story about a young man with this fetish who pretends to be gay and gets a job in sales at an exclusive women's shoe boutique with many attractive female customers.

Likewise, stories where characters do outrageous things and never question them, are also poor. For example, a story set on a car lot where an attractive young female salesperson gets poor sales results for the month, and as punishment her boss makes her lift up her skirt and let her male co-workers look down her panties, something she does without question. Or a math class for 18-year-olds in high school, where the teacher makes all the girls take off their panties, and the color and designs of their panties are used as data for statistical analysis, the girls following the instruction without querying their teacher at all. These stories, seemingly set in the real world, are so outrageous they lose believability. If the car sales girl and the girls in the math class were really faced with these situations, they would get the hell out of there, and call the police.

 

[PennLady]

Likewise, stories where characters do outrageous things and never question them, are also poor. For example, a story set on a car lot where an attractive young female salesperson gets poor sales results for the month, and as punishment her boss makes her lift up her skirt and let her male co-workers look down her panties, something she does without question. Or a math class for 18-year-olds in high school, where the teacher makes all the girls take off their panties, and the color and designs of their panties are used as data for statistical analysis, the girls following the instruction without querying their teacher at all. These stories, seemingly set in the real world, are so outrageous they lose believability. If the car sales girl and the girls in the math class were really faced with these situations, they would get the hell out of there, and call the police.

But some people like the idea of something going on just under the usual fabric that we see. And some people don't care about realism in such stories; they just like the taboo or erotic or sexual aspect of whatever's going on. I myself like stories that adhere to the rules the author has set out. Even if they're outlandish, as long as the author lays some ground for it, it'll probably work for me.

Which is not to say I don't agree with you here. I do, to an extent. If I'm reading a story in the "real world," I like it to mostly stay there, although I'll cut a little slack for the fact the story will probably ave a bit of a fantasy aspect to it.

But if I really can't buy it, I just stop reading.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

Now, see, I have to disagree with that. There are all sorts of interesting quirks about cocks that can be worth describing. Is the head larger or smaller than proportionate to the shaft? What color is it? Is the slit small or large? Is it dry, sporting just a bead of precum, or eagerly oozing down the head? Does the shaft have prominent veins? Is his pulse evident in a steady bobbing? Is it straight out, up, or does it have an interesting curve?

That should get you started.

Very well made point. There are a lot of things you can describe when it comes to a nice cock.

Though I prefer to use only a few descriptions because a reader will fill in the blanks within their mind. This eliminates the possibility of turning off readers if your writing doesn't match their personal tastes.

Which makes stating sizes all the more pointless. If a male character is "mesmerized by her well endowed breasts that fit perfectly in his hand", the reader can then imagine just how big they really are. To state the size of her breasts would mean you'd then have to state the size of his hands. A C-cup can fit perfectly in one man's hand while a bigger hand may need a D-cup.

My overall point is; sometimes less is more.

 

[noye]

Alright for all of you who suggested your stories could you do me a favor and pm the links to your work? My tablet doesn't show avatars or sigs for anyone so it's taking a lot longer to find you all.